Of Darkness and Light
by Professor Black 04
Summary: For the past 5 years, Snape has raised his niece. But when he is forced to do the unthinkable, can he let Sarah go to follow her own way? And has he prepared her enough to face the darkness to come? Third in a series...also with Trio, Lupin, Draco, Fred
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This story, _Of Darkness and Light_, is the third (and mostly likely final) in a series of stories. The basic premise is: that Snape had a sister, who was sorted into Gryffindor and ended up marrying Sirius Black, estranging the two siblings. Many years later, Grace and Snape reconciled at at his sister's death, Snape took guardianship of his niece, Sarah, in her first year of Hogwarts. He ended up adopting the child and has been raising her, though only a few people know that he cares for her. The rest of the world thinks that he only did it because he made the unbreakable vow to his sister to raise and protect her. Voldemort's return has complicated things for our favorite spy, along with Draco's new mission for the Dark Lord. And of course there has to be a bit of teenage romance and angst as Sarah grows up. :) This story begins in the aftermath of Sirius's death. So, if you haven't read the other stories (_And the Greatest of these is Love_ and _Growing Up_), you probably want to do so. And if you have been following this series, thanks for finding this story and I hope you enjoy the first chapter. Please let me know what you think.

Disclaimer: Rowling owns, not me...only written for enjoyment and to unwind after a long day at work. :)

**Chapter 1: Of Darkness and Light**

Sarah woke the next morning with the sun shining brightly through the lace curtains of her room-such a contrast to the dark stormy night of yesterday. Throwing back her covers, she sat up and pushed herself to the edge of her bed. Groaning, she leaned over to rest her elbows on her knees. As she rubbed her hands over her face, she contemplated the stiffness and soreness of her body. But that was nothing compared to the ache deep inside of her.

_Her father was dead_. Killed by Bellatrix Lestrange in the Department of Mysteries last night. A rush of memories flooded her brain, bits and pieces of the night's events.

_Harry waking up, screaming Sirius's name… the prophecies lining the shelves… running from the Death Eaters…Sirius's face when he fell through the veil…Bellatrix's high pitched laugh…Voldemort coaxing her to get revenge, his breath on her neck…Harry convulsing helplessly on the floor as Voldemort possessed him….Draco shouting her name when she walked away from him…Wiping the rain off her mother's grave, tears streaming down her face…Fred finding and picking her up and carrying her through the storm to put her safely in the comfort Snape's arms… _

Sarah couldn't stop the tears that started flowing. Not wanting her uncle to hear and come inquire, she went quickly to the lavatory and turned on the water. She sat on the edge of the tub and permitted herself to succumb fully to her tears. Realizing that she had been crying for quite a while, she gingerly got up and went over to wash and dry her face. Surveying herself in the mirror, she knew she looked pathetic. Maybe a shower would help. She stood in the shower, allowing the hot water to encompass her. Mind wandering to Sirius, she began to cry again. Merlin, she would have to stop this or Snape would be hovering over her nonstop. She turned the shower water off and used her wand to summon jeans and a short sleeve pink shirt. She dried her hair and she brushed it through, placing a barrette in it. Satisfied, she went back to her room and then out of it in search of Snape.

Snape was sitting in his study, drinking coffee and reading a newspaper. Sarah knocked and Severus allowed her entrance.

"I thought you would sleep much longer" he responded as he studied her carefully, as if to see if she was ready to break.

"The sun was so bright this morning" Sarah remarked, lightly. She went over to the end table and grabbed the newspaper that Snape had carefully folded up and placed on it when she entered the room.

He who Must Not be Named Returns

_Hogwarts Students thwart Death Eaters_

_Lucius Malfoy arrested_

_Sirius Black, dead in battle_

Sarah barely had time to read the various headings before Snape snatched the Daily Prophet paper from her grip.

"I don't want you reading that" Snape told her firmly.

"Why not?" Sarah shrugged. "I might as well see if they actually got it right for a change"

"And what purpose would that serve?" Severus raised an eyebrow. "You don't need to worry about how they viewed last night's events. You need to concern yourself about understanding how _you_ view last night's events"

Sarah shrugged again and turned slightly so Severus couldn't see her quivering lip. When she composed herself again, she asked, "How is Harry?"

"Besides destroying Dumbledore's office, he was doing about the same as you are" Severus remarked.

Sarah's eyes grew wide. "He did?"

"Yes" Severus put aside his coffee and moved to take his niece's hand. "Come, let's sit down" He led her to the couch and sat down next to her. But he didn't let go of her hand. "We need to talk"

Sarah's shoulders slumped forward slightly. "You want to know everything that happened. For me to fill in the pieces that you have heard from the Headmaster"

"In due time" Snape replied, ominously. "You will tell me everything no matter how painful it is" He squeezed her hand. "But in the meantime, after we eat, we will be headed to Grimmauld Place. The others will join us. We are paying tribute to your father" He paused, surveying her steadily. "Do you think you can handle that?"

"Of course" Sarah rose abruptly, walking to look out the window. Turning back, she managed to say, "He is my father. And while we can't have a proper burial and service, he deserves to be honored." She swallowed hard. "Can I be excused, sir?"

"Sarah-" Severus started, but stopped himself. "Go ahead. I will send Wiggles in your room with some breakfast"

Sarah managed to make it to the shelter of her room, before she started crying again, wondering if she would ever be able to feel happy again.

* * *

"Sirius was a great friend- actually, one of the best a man could have" Remus Lupin said in his quiet, steady voice. "While his passion for his friends got him in trouble, he was who you wanted to have standing next to you when times got tough. He never judged me or thought less of me for my "little problem" as he liked to call it. I am thankful I had him. And I was thankful for the time we had these past two years" His voice broke and Tonks reached to thread her hand through his.

All were quiet and Snape cleared his throat. Glancing at the white face of his niece, who had sandwiched herself between Harry and Fred, he spoke up.

"While we all know how Sirius and I felt about each other" Snape said slowly. "He did love my sister and my niece. And he died protecting those he loved. I think to remember that is the greatest tribute to his life"

Sarah scrunched her face, trying desperately not to cry. Fred reached to rest his hand on her arm, his fingers applying gentle pressure as he tried to soothe her.

"Well said" Albus responded, patting Severus on the shoulder. "Anybody else?"

There was silence when Fred spoke up. "Sirius helped George and I with our joke products. I know it seems like a little thing, but it meant a lot to us that he would take the time to care about what we were doing. And he was someone that you could talk to. He listened and didn't judge"

Sarah tried to swallow down the lump in her throat. She looked down at her hands, knowing if she would look at anyone else in that room, she would break.

"Sirius was my godfather. The best one I could have" Harry lowered his head. "I know he wanted us all to be a family…he had such hopes…" he paused, shaking his head and unable to continue.

"Thank you, Harry" Dumbledore said gently. "We know Sirius meant a great deal to you" He paused. "Anybody else would like to speak?"

Sarah raised her head and instinctively reached for Fred's hand. Fred was somewhat surprised but he squeezed it in response, grateful that Sarah felt comfortable enough to lean on him for support. After all they had been close friends since Sarah's first year, the twins often dragging Sarah into their adventures, much to Snape's chagrin. Things had changed in their relationship last year with Sarah's involvement with Draco Malfoy, but Fred had never stopped caring. He only wished Sarah could see that.

"When I was little, I would always wonder about my father. I wanted to meet him so badly. These past two years, he hasn't disappointed. He was my father in every way. He took care of me. He supported me. He made me laugh- he was always good with that. When I first met Dad at the end of third year, he told me how much I looked like my mother-except that I had his eyes" Sarah bit her lip. "It was like in that moment, he was seeing my mother again. And I would like to believe…" She took a breath. "…that is I have to believe that he is seeing my mother again right now. And James and Lily. And that he has finally been able to say all those things he wished he could say to her before she died. I know he is putting things right and I want to believe that he is at peace and happy. I just wish I could…I could…" Sarah rose, dropping Fred's hand. "He _never_ should have died this way" Her face crumpled and she rushed out of the room, flying up the stairs to take sanctuary in her father's room.

Severus and Lupin both quickly stood and took steps to follow, but Harry rose out of his seat. "No, I'll go. If anyone knows how she is feeling, it's me" He left in search for his friend.

He found Sarah in Sirius's room, sitting on his bed and looking at the pictures he kept on the nightstand next to his bed. Tears streaked Sarah's face and the bed squeaked as Harry sat next to her.

"I know Sirius was only my godfather" Harry said quietly, "but he was more than that to me"

Sarah sniffled and used the back of her hand to wipe some tears away. "I know. Do you think it will ever stop hurting?"

Harry shook his head. "I think it will become less intense, but I don't want to forget about him or what he did for me"

"Do you feel guilty?" Sarah asked, brokenly and Harry responded, "terribly so" Sarah scooted over until she was close to him. He put his arm around her shoulders and she dropped her head to rest on him. They sat there, silent in Sirius's room until Snape came to take her home.

* * *

They spent the afternoon in the study. Snape, graded essays and Sarah pretended to read a book. Severus would, on several occasions, glance up from his work to check on his niece, whose face was white and strained. The first nine times of him doing this Sarah ignored, when finally she had enough. He was acting so unSnapelike. Snape doesn't ignore, Snape confronts. And Snape certainly doesn't coddle her, but here he was being extremely cautious around her as if he was afraid that she would break. It was frustrating. Sarah just wished he would say what he wanted and get it over with. And she was determined that he would do just that.

"Do you have something you would like to say to me, sir?" she asked in a tone that she knew would push the limits of his patience.

Severus dropped his quill and inclined his head towards her. "_Excuse me_?" he asked, aghast.

Sarah rose and threw her book down on the coach. "Stop treating me like I could break at any moment. I'm not going to start crying hysterically if that is what you are afraid of"

"I am not afraid of that" Severus responded. "But I have not ignored the fact that already three times today you have broken down into tears and done a shabby job of covering it up"

"Well, the Snape I know would come and confront me about it, making me deal with my emotions, not allowing me to cover them" Sarah fisted her hands by her side in frustration. "I can't stand this anymore!"

"OK" Severus rose to his feet, casting his pile of parchments to sit neatly on top of his desk. He towered over her, exerting his presence. At any other time, Sarah would know that she was pushing the line, but she was too emotional to realize it. "We'll deal with them now. Is that what you want?"

"I don't want to be treated differently because you feel sorry for me that my father is dead" Sarah looked rebelliously at him. "I know my dad is dead. And I know it is my fault. Isn't that what you think? Isn't that what everybody thinks? I know you think so. _Just say it!"_ She challenged him, but Snape wouldn't take it.

"_Do not_ put words in my mouth, Sarah Grace" Snape growled. "It is _not_ your fault that your father died. Or did I hear it wrong and you were the one to cast the killing curse, not Bellatrix Lestrange?"

"B…but it is…is my fault" Sarah sputtered, taking a step back. "Everyone thinks so"

"Everyone as in whom?" Severus inquired evenly. "I don't recall anyone accusing you"

"Well" Sarah continued, stomping around to fling herself back on the couch, throwing the books out of her way. "_I _know it was my fault. Sirius is dead. And it's all my fault. I hate myself! And you! You are always thinking you know everything. Well, guess what? You don't!"

Severus blinked, before responding firmly. "Get back over here" Snape's voice was low. "If you want to sit on the couch, that's acceptable, but you will not stomp away like you are five and throw a tantrum. I'm not playing around, Sarah Grace"

"Make me" Sarah shot back at him and Snape stalked back to her and grabbed her by the wrist, pulled her up and dragged her back to where she was standing.

"I just did" he asserted evenly. "Is this making you feel better acting like a child? You are almost sixteen years old, Sarah" He grabbed her chin and pushed it up to where she was forced to look at him. "Listen to me. If it helps to make me the enemy, push me and I can become the enemy. But you know very well that you do not want me for your enemy" He growled at her, before his voice became softer. "Or you can talk to me as your guardian- as a person who loves and cares for you and I can try to help you through this"

Sarah remained stormy, but under Snape's stern demeanor she soon broke and threw herself at him, contrite. "I'm sorry. I don't hate you" Snape wrapped his arms around her tightly as she continued, "But you don't understand. I should have never gone there in the first place. I _knew_ something was wrong with the situation. Draco told me it was a fool's errand and I knew it was. You always tell me to think first and act later. The problem was I did think first and _I had to go_. And look at what that got us."

Severus sighed heavily. "Come, let's sit over here" He led her to the coach and sat down next to her.

"I have a question for you" he said, his voice gentle. "What would have happened if you had stayed?"

Sarah swallowed. "Harry would have still gone…without me"

"Uh huh" Severus replied. "And do you think you helped Potter last night?"

She shrugged and looked at her hands, but remained silent.

"The Headmaster thinks so" Snape asserted. "He said that when the Dark Lord was possessing Potter, you were the one that helped him fight it." Severus reached for her hand. "I don't want you to misunderstand me. I'm very disappointed that you chose to put your life at risk…_yet again_. And if you and Potter had not had gone, Sirius wouldn't have gone after you and would still be alive. Our choices have consequences and this is one that you will have to live with" He squeezed her hand. " Did you kill your father? No. Is it your fault that he is dead? No. Do you carry some responsibility for the situation that led to his death? Yes"

"I don't know how to…" Sarah's lip trembled, trying to compose herself enough to verbalize her thoughts. "The guilt is too much to bear at times. Will it get better?"

Severus sighed. "The pain will dull and you will grow accustomed to it. Will there be times that it rises up and you feel it afresh once again? Absolutely"

Sarah turned her head to look at him. "Like you feel about Lily?"

Severus flinched as if he had been struck. "What do you mean?" His face grew white and Sarah quickly responded, "you know how you loved her and called her a mudblood and then joined the Death Eaters?" she paused before asking, "What did you think I meant?"

Severus struggled for a moment and then schooled his features. "Nothing…it does not matter. Only this, Sarah" He forced her chin to look at him. "I know how it feels to live with such guilt that it makes you feel that you have to gasp to take a breath. Do not allow it to consume you" He let go of her chin.

Sarah rose and walked towards the window as was becoming her habit when she felt her emotions overrunning her. Pushing away the curtains, she stared out at the dismal day. It had started out so beautifully, but the rain had come again. Turning back she said, "Voldemort offered me his protection. He said he would take care of Bellatrix for me. That he would order you to love me. He said I had potential" She looked out the window again.

Severus rose and swept over to her. Grasping her shoulders, he turned her around to face him. His hand squeezed her shoulders as he studied her for what seemed like hours. When he finally spoke, his voice was gentle- tender almost, more than it had ever been before. "You were tempted, were you not?"

Sarah cast her eyes down, thoroughly ashamed, but Severus quickly continued. "Don't, Sarah. It is natural to be tempted. The Dark Lord has lured many people to his side with his promises." He drew her closer to him, putting his arms around her and Sarah leaned into his embrace. "What matters most is the choice you made in the end" he reminded her soothingly. "The choices you will continue to make…"

"Is that how you became a Death Eater?" Sarah asked, quietly. "Voldemort's promises?"

Severus stilled and then drew back away from her. "No child. Not exactly. I was always enthralled by the dark arts at school, so when I graduated, it just seemed inevitable."

"But the dark arts are bad" Sarah replied fiercely. "But you aren't, not deep down"

"It is more complicated than that" Severus shook his head. "And I think you, like your mother, brings out the best of me"

Sarah didn't respond, confused by his cryptic response- but much later, she would understand what he meant by those words.

* * *

A few weeks passed. Severus and Sarah went about their summer routine. Sarah's essays were done. He drilled her on her summer reading. She helped him quite proficiently in his potions lab. But it was as if she was going through the motions. And that made Severus worried.

He had sent Sarah on an errand to the village to get groceries, and he was planning to see write to the Headmaster to arrange an appointment. Maybe Dumbeldore could give him advice on how to help Sarah heal. The Headmaster was always so good with feelings and all that nonsense. And while after 5 years as Sarah's guardian, he still felt hopeless when it came to dealing with her teenage emotions.

He had opened the door to his study, when a noise startled him. Whipping his wand out, he slowly stepped in. "Draco!"

If he had thought about it, it would have made sense that it was Draco as the wards would not have been breached for his godson. Yet, Draco should be home at Malfoy Manor.

Crossing his arms, he started to glower at him, but stopped as he took a good look at the child, who was shaking uncontrollably in front of him. Uncrossing his arms, he stepped forward to hold him steady. "What is it?"

"He's is going to kill them" Draco sobbed, ducking his head. "He said that he will murder them in front of me unless…unless" He shuddered, unable to continue.

Severus fought down the panic that threatened to seize him. He shook him, roughly. "Talk to me" he commanded sternly. "Unless what?"

"Unless I kill Dumbledore" Draco responded and collapsed against his godfather. Severus stiffened, but then relaxed as he allowed Draco to lean against him as he sobbed.

He led him to sit on the couch. "Tell me what happened. Everything. Leave nothing out" Snape said.

"He wants me to take the mark. I…I can't do this! Dumbledore is _Dumbledore_. Whatever father says, he is a great wizard. How can _I_ kill him?" Draco buried his head in his hands. "The Dark Lord is setting me up to fail. What can I do? It is hopeless" He moaned.

Severus squeezed his arm, tightly. "Pull yourself together, Draco. _Now" _His tone was authoritative and Draco looked up in surprise, his godfather's harshness serving its purpose to jolt him out of his despair. Severus conjured a box of tissues and dropped it in Draco's lap. Draco pulled them out and wiped his eyes, embarrassed that his godfather had seen him so weak.

"Clear your mind" Severus commanded, sharply. "Do so immediately" Draco obeyed and he was calmer.

"Better" Snape said, satisfied, his hand on Draco's knee. "Now then, I want you to listen to me."

Draco nodded and he continued, "You will go to the Dark Lord and accept his offer. He will give you the Dark Mark and you will become a Death Eater. It is the only way. You will do this for your parents"

Draco inhaled. "B…b..but…" he sputtered. "I'm not prepared…that is, I don't have the training…and I don't want to do what _they_ do" and Severus held up his hand.

"I will prepare you" Severus told him, before adding in a more gentle tone, "As for the other…taking the mark, it will not make you one of them" he said, "The Dark Lord does not make empty threats. He will kill them like he said. Your reasons are just."

Draco rose and went to look out the window, fiddling with the curtains. When he turned back around, he looked older than his years. In that moment, Draco Malfoy had grown up. "And Dumbledore?"

Severus put his hand on the coach and pushed himself up. "We will figure that out later" he assured him.

Draco moved to stand back before his godfather. He folded his arms. "Before I am to do this" he said adamantly, "I have to see Sarah. I _need_ to see Sarah"

Severus shook his head swiftly, immediately dismissing the idea. "What purpose would that serve? It would only distract your from what you have to do"

"You don't understand" Draco responded. "She is my best friend. And from now on, she can't be my best friend. I have to end it with her…for good"

Severus raised an eyebrow. "I thought you two had ended it?"

"Not exactly" Draco replied, vaguely. "It doesn't matter, now does it? You know Sarah. She will push and push, especially if she senses I am in trouble"

Snape sighed. "She's fragile right now, Draco. Her father's death has changed her."

Draco nodded. "I understand. But I can't take the dark mark without seeing her. Please, Uncle Sev…"

"Fine" Snape responded. "I will allow it, but only because I know the enormity of what you have to do. But be gentle with her, Draco. No matter what happened between the two of you at the end of last year, she loves you"

"I love her too" Draco whispered. "But sometimes that isn't enough, is it?"

"No, son" Severus stepped forward to squeeze his shoulder gently. "Unfortunately, it is not"

They both sat back down, waiting in silence for Sarah to return.

A/N: first chapter up! YAY! Let me know what you think. Hope you enjoyed! Up next, Draco and Sarah and Draco joins the Death Eaters…


	2. The Lows and the Highs

**A/N: **Thanks all for the reviews and all you signed up for story alert. Here is the next chapter, and it's a long one.

Disclaimer: of course, I don't own…

**Chapter 2: The Lows and Highs**

Sarah sorted through some vegetables. She knew Snape would be displeased if she neglected to buy anything healthy. Frowning while imagining the taste of said vegetables, she absently backed up into Mrs. O'bryan, almost knocking the older woman over.

"Sorry" Sarah mentally cursed her rotten luck as she forced a smile. Mrs. O'bryan was the only villager who was had any magical connection and she was one who was sure to ask questions.

"Take these, they look better" she took the broccoli out of her hands, and put new ones in. Putting a hand on her arm, she asked, "How are you doing, dear? Terrible business about your father"

"I'm fine" Sarah responded, stepping away. "I didn't really know him, but thank you so much for asking"

The older woman studied her, a frown edging over her face. "And is your uncle treating you well?"

"As well as to be expected, considering I'm such a burden to him" Sarah moved further away to inspect some fresh fruit. "Sending me out on these errands, when he could have sent Wiggles instead. I think it is his way of trying to keep me in my place" she rolled her eyes dramatically.

"Oh, you poor dear. Forced to put up with the man, when we all know how disagreeable he can be" Mrs. O'bryan replied with a shake of her head. "Have you gotten your O.W.L. results yet?" she whispered.

"Not yet" Sarah frowned. "But they should be arriving soon. I just hope they are up to standard, I can't take much of Snape's mocking. I really don't know why Dumbledore hasn't sacked him years ago"

Mrs. O'bryan huffed. "If he does that, you come to me right away. I don't care what Albus says. He will not treat you that way" She put her hands on her hip. "Don't you worry about another thing dear-when you are trying to deal with your father's death. Even if you didn't know him, he still was your father. And after losing your dear mother. I'm surprised that you weren't allowed to spend the summer with the Weasleys"

"I think I get to go there later this summer" Sarah replied. "But if you would excuse me, if I am not home in ten more minutes, I think I will have to do extra chores. You know what a beast he can be if I am late"

Mrs. O'bryan held up her hand. "Say no more my dear" She pushed her towards the counter. "You pay for these and be on your way"

"Thank you. Ordinarily, I would love to chat" Sarah replied as she turned and walked away a hand over her mouth to cover her smile. After years of pretending to hate each other, she and Snape had perfected their routines. And after years of Snape disparaging her in class, she liked to return the favor whenever the opportunity arises. She paid for her groceries. Arms full, she carried them down through the village and back into the house.

"Snape, I'm home" Sarah called. "And I ran into Mrs. O'bryan. I think you will be receiving a visit soon" She laughed. "Where are you, Uncle Sev?"

"In here, Sarah" Snape responded from the kitchen. Sarah balanced the groceries and shifted them to open the door.

She stopped in her tracks, almost dropping the groceries. "_Draco_" His name came out in a strangled rush and the rosy glow from her walk home instantly drained from her face. Snape rushed over to rescue the groceries. She was barely aware of him taking them away from her. "I'll take care of these"

Draco rose to his feet, leaving his empty teacup on the table. "Sarah" he responded, evenly.

They stared at each other and Snape awkwardly cleared his throat. With a flick of his wand, the groceries began to put themselves in their proper places. "I think I will just leave you two alone. Draco, when you are finished, I will accompany you home. Sarah, I'll find you when I return. But you have work waiting for you at your desk"

Sarah nodded her head in acknowledgement and Snape squeezed her shoulder before leaving them alone.

Sarah swallowed, managing to recover her senses. "Had tea?" She asked as she reached for his teacup. Taking it to the sink, she washed and rinsed it out, before placing it in the drying rack.

"You know there are spells for that?" Draco told her. Sarah turned around, leaning against the sink.

She met his eyes. "I know, but I needed the minute" She ran her hands against the edge of the countertop.

Draco gave her a small smile. "Snape promised me that I would be gentle"

Sarah raised an eyebrow. "Do I need you to be gentle?"

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "We can't do this anymore"

Sarah stilled her hands and watched him in silence. Draco's stomach churned as he waited her response.

"What has happened?" She asked, her eyes still searching him.

Draco's stomach dropped, but he forced himself to clear his mind as he felt her watching him intently.

"It is too complicated with you being you and me being me" Draco took a step towards her. He raised his hand to smooth down her hair, tenderly. "My father is needless to say, not in the Dark Lord's preferred circle. It has changed things. I can't make things harder for him, Sarah. You are Harry Potter's bloody best friend. And what happened with _your_ father. I can't do it again"

Sarah lowered her head to stare at her shoe, moving it in a circle around the kitchen floor. She tried to ignore the tightening of her chest. "I know what you are saying makes sense, but we have never cared about what makes sense. If we had then we would have never become friends even in the first place, when all of our friends hate each other, you know?"

"I know" Draco replied quietly. "But us even being friends now, puts each other in danger. And I can't be the cause of your danger, even if you put yourself there willingly. We knew that this could happen"

Sarah raised her eyes, the pain growing more intense. "I didn't think about it. I thought we would work through it" Her lip trembled. "I guess I am really naïve"

"A true Gryffindor" Draco answered solemnly, trying to lighten the mood. But when Sarah's tears started to fall, he groaned. "Please don't. I can't stand it when you cry, Sarah" He reached to wipe them away. "I want you to be happy, that's all what I ever want"

"Happy?" Sarah laughed sarcastically. "Both my parents are dead, Draco. My guardian is in Voldemort's clutches when any day he can decide he is sick of him and kill him. My best friend is being hunted by people who want to kill him. And now you are breaking it off with me. How do you think I will ever be happy again?"

He leaned in-his face against her, breathing in her closeness. "You will, I promise. Just not with me. This is hard for me too. I have loved you since first year"

Sarah allowed him to wrap his arms around her and she did the same. "Are you sure there is nothing else? Are you sure you are ok? If something is going on, you can tell me, Draco"

Draco pulled away. "Nothing is going on" he looked her straight into the eye. "I'm fine"

Sarah sighed in relief. "I was worried that Voldemort had you somehow" She gripped his face. "I won't let you go if you are in trouble. You are telling me the truth, Draco? "

Draco nodded. "I am. Don't worry about that. But I do think it would be best if we stayed away from each other at the start of next term. My housemates would be all to happy to use it to give their parents leverage with the Dark Lord."

Sarah kissed his cheek. "Promise you will take care of yourself? Don't get drawn in"

"I would ask the same of you, but I'm pretty sure you are already drawn in" Draco remarked. "Be smart about it, Sarah. Don't be the hero all the time"

"I'll try" Sarah reached for his hand and squeezed it. "I think I better go, I think I might cry again and I know how that makes you feel. Goodbye Draco" She let go of his hand and moved towards the door, but Draco grabbed her hand again and spun her towards him. He kissed her passionately and Sarah responded, her arms around his neck. Abruptly, he broke it off, panting slightly. Tears falling, Sarah raced out of the door without another word. Going to her room, she took her wand and close the and extinguish all the lights. Once finished, she fell onto her bed, burying her head in her pillow wanting the darkness to carry her away to sleep.

* * *

After dropping Draco back off at Malfoy Manor, Snape tapped quietly on his niece's door. When she didn't answer, Snape opened the door. Surprised at the drapes drawn and lights out, he took a step inside to investigate. Hearing muffled sobs, he walked over to sit down on her bed.

"Sarah" he reached to stroke her head.

"I don't want to talk about it"

His hand didn't stop. "I understand that. Would you like me to leave?" Snape asked, his heart breaking for her, but determined to give her space if she needed it.

"No" Sarah hiccuped. "Stay, until I fall asleep"

"If you'd like" Snape's hand moved to rub her back methodically. "But it is awfully early to fall asleep"

"Not for me" Sarah replied. "Now now" Snape didn't reply and Sarah's breathing evened out, until he could tell she did fall asleep. But instead of leaving her, he summoned a chair by her bed. Putting his feet up, he watched over her as she slept.

* * *

He allowed her to sleep for two hours before he shook her awake, determined to get her through her first broken heart. Sarah groaned as she pushed herself up to lean against the headboard. "Enough of the sulking" he instructed, pouring her tea from a tray that he had made, and shoving it in her hand. "Drink"

Sarah narrowed her eyes at the lack of sympathy-she really wasn't sure how much she was going to get out of Snape when he warned her from the start that her and Draco might not be the best idea-but she had thought it would have lasted at least more than 3 hours.

"I'm not sulking, Uncle Sev" Sarah replied, indignant. She took a sip of the tea. "You know that Draco and I broke things off this afternoon. Let me feel sorry for myself for at least a little bit longer"

"I will do no such thing" Severus replied shortly. "Boys will come and go. He was your first and I suspect that it will be tough for a while. But we must maintain our focus. We are in the middle of a war, and you must keep your wits about you. We are resuming your training tomorrow, now that you are almost done with your summer work. And when you get your OWL results, we can adjust your study schedule to get you a head start for your NEWT level classes"

Sarah rolled her eyes and took another sip of tea. And another. She was beginning to feel much calmer the more she drank. She started to feel that maybe in spite of everything, things weren't going to be so terrible after all. Why was she feeling like that? She stared at her teacup and then dropped it back onto its saucer, it clattering and spilling over the edges. She looked accusingly at her uncle. "Uncle Sev!" Her eyes narrowed, in spite of the calm she was feeling. "Did you put _calming draught_ in my tea?"

"Yes, only a bit- not even a full dose. I knew you wouldn't take if I offered it to you. And I want to talk to you with out you sniveling over some boy" Severus smirked at her, as he leaned over to impulsively kiss her forehead.

"Draco is not some boy" Sarah argued. "And I can't believe you _drugged_ me"

"Aren't we being a tad over dramatic?" Severus inquired. "I did no such thing. You have taken it before. Drink some more" He nudged her arm. " You will feel better. And once you do, then we will talk, _reasonably_, which you can't seem to do when the topic comes to Draco Malfoy"

"That's because I love him" Sarah answered calmly. "Love isn't reasonable"

Severus traced his finger over her cheek. "That is a wise observation. But giving into that philosophy will get you in trouble one day"

Sarah eyed him and then took another drink of her tea. "I do feel better. But did you think when it wears off, I might hysterically cry again?"

"You won't" Severus replied. "You are stronger than that"

"So you think" Sarah responded. "But I don't feel that way"

Severus rubbed his temples, exhausted. "Draco Malfoy is my godson and I love him, but he was never well suited for you"

Sarah's eyebrow shot up. " I think our differences made things exciting" Now it was her turn to smirk, "And his incredible ability to snog"

Severus flinched, but he ignored her attempt to get under his skin with that comment.

Hmm" Severus replied. "And things weren't exciting with…say Fred Weasley? None of those massive pranks you pulled off together? Or was it just because Draco was forbidden? A Slytherin challenge?"

"Draco was different with me" Sarah took another sip, finishing her teacup. "You saw that"

"I did. He was less arrogant with you. And incredibly protective" Severus replied. "But that being acknowledged, I have to insist that you stay away from him this year" He took her teacup from her, as she began to protest. "I'm serious. It's over. Move on. It is too dangerous for you two to even attempt a friendship. When the war is over, perhaps…"

Sarah reached to grasp his hand. "Is Draco in trouble? He said he wasn't, but…"

Severus opened his mouth to respond, but then turned away quickly and winced, rubbing his arm. "Damn" he muttered.

Sarah's heart beat quickly in spite of the calming draught. "Voldemort?"

Severus leaned down to kiss her. "You get to stay in bed. Lucky you. We will talk in the morning. I'll be fine. I love you" And with that, he was off.

* * *

"Ah, Severus, you have arrived just in time"

"Yes, my Lord. How may I help you?" Severus replied, bowing slightly.

"I do believe you are this child's godfather?" Voldemort gestured towards Draco. "He is taking our mark tonight, pledging service to me. Will you stand by him as he does so in lieu of his father's presence?"

"Indeed" Severus bowed again and backed away as Voldemort gestured Draco to stand before him. Draco carried himself well- Severus's coaching hours before had paid off.

"You know what I ask of you, Draco. If you fail, it will be deadly for all" Voldemort hissed.

"Yes, my Lord" Draco nodded. "I will not fail you"

"I trust you will not be as much of a disappointment to me as your father" Voldemort extended his arm over Draco's, branding his mark on him. Draco jolted in searing pain, but managed to keep from crying out.

Voldemort inspected the mark, satisfied. "Very good. I will trust your godfather to show you our ways. And you two have so much in common too." He stared at him, trying to penetrate his mind, but Draco was well schooled in occlumency. "You broke things off with the girl?"

Draco nodded. "She made her choice and I chose mine"

Voldemort twined his hands. "She has potential though, wouldn't you agree, Severus?"

Snape scoffed. "Not that I can see my Lord. She is bright to be sure, but there is nothing exceptional about her"

He laughed at Snape's reaction. "Such a loving uncle you are, Severus! Bound to the girl, by a vow to your sister, when so obviously it pains you. I saw something in her that you gentleman have yet to see. It will give me great pleasure to steal her from Potter when he needs her the most-whether she comes willingly or unwillingly" His gaze rested on Snape. "But I will not kill her. Your promise to your sister, Severus, will be honored. As long as other promises are honored to me" His eyes moved from Severus to Draco. There was a slight movement in the room and Voldemort's focus abruptly shifted to Bellatrix slinking around in the corner, a gleam in her eyes. "Leave me now. Draco, you know your mission"

Draco bowed. "Yes, my lord" They backed out of the room and Snape grabbed him and they apparated back to Malfoy Manor, Narcissa meeting them.

When seeing Draco, she nearly collapsed in relief. Draco was leaning against Severus, his arm feeling like it was being engulfed in flames. Snape helped Draco to his room and into bed. "The potion" Severus held out his hand and Narcissa gave it to him. Severus forced it down Draco's throat.

"That's better" Draco sucked in his breath and then visibly relaxed as the pain left him.

"It will be this way for a while, Draco" Severus told him. "It will dull in a few months. The Dark Lord likes to make it such to ensure his loyality-a reminder of the pain that will come if you betray him. Take this potion when it becomes too much"

Draco nodded. "Thank you, sir"

"I will leave you in your mother's capable hands" Severus kissed Narcissa's cheek as she began mothering her son. But as he reached the door, he turned back, "You handled yourself well tonight. I know it is not easy"

Draco sat up some more. "Uncle Sev, before you leave, why do you think the Dark Lord mentioned Sarah? Why is he so interested in her?"

Severus raised an eyebrow. "He knows you care. It is extra incentive for you to succeed" He paused, before continuing. "And first year, when the Dark Lord was possessing that idiot Quirell, Potter defeated him by pure luck and determination, something that the Dark Lord would view as Potter's weakness even though he was only eleven. Sarah used her brains and a very strong shield spell- worthy of an adult's at a very young age. He doesn't forget"

Giving one last look at his godson's whitened face, he turned and left the room.

* * *

Another week passed. Sarah sighed, drumming on her potions text. She was banished to her room while Snape conducted a private meeting with Headmaster Dumbledore. She was only hopefully that she was not the topic of conversation.

Wiggles popped into her room. "Master wants to see you now in the study, Miss" Sarah swung her legs of her bed. "Thank you, Wiggles" She made her way to the study and knocked softly on the door.

"Come in, Sarah" Snape replied. Sarah entered, surveying the room. Snape and the Headmaster were having tea- Snape is his armchair, Dumbledore on the couch. Both men looked weary and it instantly made her feel concern.

"Hello, Sarah" Dumbledore smiled at her. "Do not worry. You are not in trouble"

"Well, that would be a first" Sarah gave him a lopsided grin. "But that is not what I was actually thinking about. However, I know I would get a "none of your business" lecture if I asked you what was going on, so I think I will refrain"

"Wise idea, Black" Snape replied, dryly. "The Headmaster has your O.W.L. results"

Sarah's stomach dropped in nervousness. "Have you seen them?" She managed to those words out.

Snape rose, patting her on the shoulder. "No, the Headmaster has of course, but I believe you should be the one to open them first. But do so quickly, Sarah Grace" He reached to refill his teacup and then sat back down, getting comfortable.

Sarah approached Dumbledore and he gestured for her to sit. She tried to read his expression and he winked at her. "Here you go, Miss Black. Special Delivery" He handed her the envelope.

Sarah's face was white as she tore it open. Throat dry and hands shaking, she unfolded the parchment.

"I might as well read it aloud" Sarah glanced at Snape. "You'll find out soon enough" Snape nodded his approval and she began to read.

"_Sarah Grace Black Owl Results, Year 5"_

_Care of Magical Creatures – A_…"Oh, that's not a good start" Sarah swallowed and looked at Severus in a panic, needing reassurance. Snape responded calmly. "Not your best subject, but we knew that. It is an OWL and that is what matters. Keep going. It will be alright" He glanced at Dumbledore and Albus smiled at him, winking again.

_Charms – O_ Sarah's face lit up and she grinned. "Now that is better!" She looked back up at Snape and he remarked dryly. "If you look at me after every score, we will never get through them. Go on, Sarah Grace"

Defense Against the Dark Arts – O Sarah did a little jig at that one- "Take that Umbridge, you old toad!" and Snape rolled his eyes and Dumbledore chuckled. "Go on Sarah, before I take the paper away from you and read it myself" Severus warned.

_Herbology – E_

_History of Magic – P _ Sarah frowned, looking sheepish.

"We will talk about that one later, Sarah. Potions should be next" Severus growled. Sarah looked down for her potions score and paused, her hand shaking, the parchment dropping to her lap. Her lip trembled and Severus unable to contain himself, jumped up.

"What is it?" He crossed over to her. "_Did you fail_?" He glared at her white face. " No, you couldn't have. You have become quite proficient at it, even if you started out as a wreck with it. The Headmaster said that maybe you didn't have the talent for it, but _I_ never believed that"

Sarah turned to look at the Headmaster in surprise, but Albus held up his hands. "That's not exactly what I said, Severus" he reminded him.

Severus snatched the paper from her and read it. Grasping it tightly, he raised his head and stared at her.

His voice was thick with emotion. "_You got an O?"_

Sarah nodded, tears falling. Severus scooted her leg to sit next to her on the couch. "All those hours of tears, arguments, drilling" he mumbled to himself. He twisted her gently around so they were facing each other on the coach.

"Are you proud of me?" Sarah asked, in a whisper

Severus grasped her chin. "Exceedingly so. Not just for the O, but for the hours of hard work you put in to conquer this subject. I know it doesn't come easily for you as charms or defense does, but you stuck with it. And you have shown more improvement than any other student I have ever had."

Sarah smiled. "There were days I wanted to take the potions you made me brew and rebrew for a third or fourth time and dump it over your head. And who said Gryffindors never show restraint?"

Both Dumbledore and Snape had to laugh at that comment.

"I think both of you deserve praise for that score" Dumbledore remarked.

Sarah nodded. "I agree. The snarky bat of the dungeon _is_ a good teacher"

Severus smacked her playfully. "Snarky bat of the dungeon- really?"

Sarah smiled and pulled back her OWL results. "What was my transfiguration score?"

"An E" Severus responded. "Considering you were failing all your subjects at Christmas holidays, I do feel that this is quite remarkable."

Sarah shrugged. "I was tired of being grounded. Can I now go on Hogsmede visits?"

Severus nodded. "As long as you continue to stay out of trouble. Actually- the headmaster and I were talking. How would you feel about going for a day next week to visit Fred and George at their joke shop?"

Sarah's mouth dropped open. "Really?"

"I think you earned it" Severus tapped at her results. "And you haven't quite been yourself lately. I think the Weasley twins might bring back the Sarah we all know"

"I think I would like that" Sarah responded. "I miss them and Fred has written of what they are doing with setting up their shop. I would love to help them with it for a day."

"Then we will arrange it" Severus said and they fell quiet.

"Not to change the subject, Sarah, but I wanted to talk to you about something else before I go" Dumbledore said quietly.

"Of course" Sarah replied, and Dumbledore continued, "With your O.W.L. results, you qualify for many NEWT level courses. Are you thinking of the Auror Academy like Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley?"

Severus stiffened and waited. Both he and Minerva had gotten vague answers from her so far in regards to her future, but he also knew that over the past few weeks that Sarah had been thinking over things a lot.

"No" Sarah replied adamantly. "I do not want to be an auror"

"Then what, if you don't mind me asking?" Albus prodded gently. "You must be thinking over your future. Professor McGonagall is quite concerned that you don't have a plan- a goal to work towards"

Sarah looked at Snape for a moment, and then turned back to the Headmaster. "I have had a lot of time to think over these past few weeks since Dad's death. I have told Uncle Sev this before- it's hard for me to think past this war. With both my parents gone, life just seems uncertain. I really don't see myself after Hogwarts"

Albus leaned forward. "Have you ever thought that this is exactly what Voldemort wants from you? By giving in to that, you are giving in to his power in this world. That's exactly what we have to fight against, child"

Sarah looked up at the ceiling and sighed. "I know. And I have thought over my future, even if I have a hard time believing it will actually happen"

"And?" Snape prodded, unable to keep quiet.

Sarah rose and went over to sit in Snape's chair. "This year had been so hard with Umbridge and Dad, but the one good thing this year was helping Harry lead our DA meetings"

"You enjoyed that?" Dumbledore asked. "Clearly, your training was effective at least with some of the members"

Sarah nodded. "With a lot of them, headmaster. And that got me thinking. And for at least, defense and charms, I like exploring the theory behind it too. I know at times I have been a bit of a mess these five years, but I don't get into all that much trouble" She gave the Headmaster a concerned look.

"I wouldn't say terribly so" Albus responded, seriously. "Your bouts of mischief are well under control under Professor Snape's guidance. And any professor in this school would give you a stellar recommendation with whatever plans you might have. Do not worry about that. So what is it that you want?"

Sarah opened her mouth, but hesitated to voice her thoughts. "I'm afraid you will laugh"

"I wouldn't say so" Dumbledore replied. "Your uncle and I believe you can do whatever you put your mind to"

Severus nodded in agreement. "Go on, Sarah' He coaxed.

Sarah took a breath, gathering her nerve. "I want to become a professor" she said determined and she glanced back at Snape. "Like my uncle, without the snarkiness of course"

Albus and Snape exchanged a look that Sarah couldn't quite read. "Severus, what do you think of your niece's plans?" Dumbledore asked quietly.

Snape considered it for what seemed like an agonizingly long moment, before saying, "I think that is perfect"

A/N: What do you all think? I would love feedback for this chapter- I feel like it was a monster to write! Did it all seem in line with the characters? And for those who love Sarah/Draco, there will be more scenes with them coming up even though they agreed to stay away. Let's just say when suspicions arise, Sarah will go to great lengths to figure it out. But up next: Sarah visits the Weasleys Joke Shop and Fred has a sweet surprise for her. Let the Weasley wooing begin!


	3. The Vow

A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed the last chapter- so great to hear your feedback. Keep telling me what you think! Sorry I didn't get to respond personally to each of you, but I wanted you to know that I so appreciate you taking the time to review! I get so excited to see a new review.

**Disclaimer**: still don't own…any surprises there?

**Chapter 3: The Vow**

"I think this is amazing" Sarah said as she looked around the store. She was surrounded by hundreds of joke products-many the twins own personal creations. Some organization was still yet to be done, but the shop was almost ready for business. What Sarah loved most about the way the twins set up the shop is that everywhere she turned she could see Fred and George in it. Her eye caught products that they had been working on to perfect since she knew them. Some of them, she had been enlisted to try out. Their dream had become a reality and Sarah couldn't be happier for them. "Truly amazing"

Fred grinned. "I was hoping you would say that" He leaned against the counter. "So, do you want to go exploring?" He asked eagerly.

"I would love to" Sarah replied. "Can I try some?" She clapped her hands in excitement, "Please, Fred, please?" She felt like she was a first year again, side by side with the twins as they executed some of their greatest pranks ever. Well, that is until Snape put a stop to all the mischief making, though Sarah still managed to throw in another adventure with the Weasleys now and then, much to Snape's endless frustration.

"Of course" George replied for his brother. "There are some things that Fred wants you to see especially" He elbowed his brother. "Isn't that right, mate?"

Fred grew red. "Now?"

"Why not?" George answered. "I think I will go scrounge up some lunch for us upstairs. Leave the two of you alone"

"I don't want Sarah to think we had this all sorted out to get us alone" Fred mumbled to his brother.

George shrugged and with a smirk, turned to walk away. But before he did, he whispered in Sarah's ear, "Watch out for the love potions. They are especially potent" He winked at her and left the two of them alone.

They were quiet, the moment somewhat made awkward by George's good natured teasing.

Sarah moved to hop up to sit on the counter, next to where Fred was leaning.

"So…" Sarah said, kicking the back of her legs against the side of the counter. "What's new?"

"Besides all of this" Fred waved his hand. "Nothing much. You?"

"Well, Draco and I broke things off" she responded casually, picking a piece of lint off the ruffle on her blue shirt. Her hand moved to smooth down the wrinkles in her khaki skirt, which fell just above her knees. Snape wouldn't let her leave the house with it shortened mid-thigh as she originally had it. His idea of proper dress was bloody annoying at times, especially when it made her seem like she was still five years old.

Fred slowly turned to face her. "How do you feel about that?" he asked quietly.

Sarah made a face. "Rotten, but it was inevitable. I'm ready to just get on with it"

Fred moved to put his hands on her shoulders. "Don't feel like you have to give up if you aren't ready to"

Her eyes widened. "But, I thought you would be all for me giving up on Draco" Realizing what her words implied, her face turned deep red. Suddenly, it felt very hot in the store. "I didn't mean it like…"

"I don't want you to feel like you have to act a certain way" Fred interrupted, quickly- aware of her discomfort. "He was your first. You have a right to sulk for a bit about it"

Sarah relaxed. "Not according to Snape. He gave me calming drought in my tea that night and told me to get over it. I was astounded by his sympathy. Lucky for him Voldemort called him before I could lay into him too badly about it"

Fred laughed. "But still- are you sure you are OK with it?" He looked at her searchingly.

"I'm becoming more and more OK every day" Sarah replied, her voice cracking a bit. "I'm just ready to live my life" She took a breath, trying to compose herself. "And how about you? You and Angelina still hot and bothered with each other?"

Fred pulled himself up on the counter to sit next to her. "I wasn't aware that with everything going on last year that you even knew about me and Angie. You were gone for so long and then when we were together, you were restricted to Snape's quarters- we never saw you"

Sarah's throat felt suddenly dry. She cleared it, but she couldn't find her words.

"Hold on a second" Fred pulled out his wand and summoned her some water. Her hand brushing his, Sarah gratefully took the glass from him and took a drink...and then another. Putting the glass down on the counter next to her, she finally spoke.

"Ron let it slip that McGonagall caught you two…well, you know snogging in the broom closet" Sarah looked at her hands. "And since you hadn't said anything, I didn't feel like I could say anything. Plus, I was wrapped up in everything going on too. Why didn't you tell me things had changed between the two of you? You could have visited me- Snape did allow people to visit"

"You had a lot going on" Fred replied. "I didn't want to add to it"

"Hmmm" Sarah turned to look at him. "Thoughtful…and now, how are you and she doing?" She asked causally. Her eyes held something unreadable and it gave Fred hope.

"We broke up" Fred said quietly. "She seemed to think that I wasn't as in to it as she was."

"Oh" Sarah patted his knee. "I'm really sorry Fred"

"Thanks for that" Fred hopped down and helped her off the counter. "Now what do you want to see first?" He asked, putting an abrupt end to the conversation.

"What about that thing George said you wanted to show me?" Her eyes sparkled. "He was dropping a lot of hints about it." She titled her head. "Am I going to love it or hate it?"

"See for yourself. It's right over here" he took her gently by the hand and led her to a display to the right side of the room- in a prominent place.

As she surveyed the display, Sarah gasped. "You didn't! Fred Weasley" She put a hand to her mouth, shaking her head in disbelief. "I can't believe it"

In front of her was a bright maroon and gold display of "Sarah's Sensational Swamp" products. On the product wrappings were moving drawings of a girl in braids and a redheaded boy stomping around in a swamp in Filch's office. She remembered that time from fourth year so vividly. When hiding from Snape after that prank, Fred asked her to the Yule Ball. And by this display, she knew Fred remembered thought it was special too.

"How did you do this?" She fingered the drawings on the products.

"I drew it myself" Fred reached to touch her fingers lightly. "And spelled it to life"

Tears sprang to her eyes as she was moved by the gesture. "I don't know what to say"

"Don't say anything" Fred replied. "Before you get all weepy on me, you better see this too" Fred led her to another place-this one towards the back corner of the room.

"Oh Fred" Sarah's face crumbled. "He would have loved it" In front of her was Siruis BLACKout Powder and a satirical cartoon of Sirius in a superhero cape making his grand escape from Azkaban.

"Your dad was one of the good guys, Sarah" Fred squeezed her shoulder and Sarah turned into him, wrapping her arms around his waist. "Thank you" she replied.

"It was nothing" Fred murmured in her ear, but Sarah shushed him. "It was something, Fred. It was a big something" And in spite of all the darkness of the past few weeks, she felt that maybe she could feel happiness again.

* * *

"You're awfully quiet" Snape remarked later that night as passed her some cabbage. "Eat some of this" Sarah scrunched her nose, but put some on her plate without argument.

"Did something happen today with Fred and George?" he pressed, watching her with concern. "Did you not enjoy yourself?"

Sarah absently swirled her fork around her food, smashing it on her plate. Snape glared at her and she stopped immediately. "Sorry" she mumbled.

Snape nodded briefly in acknowledgement and waited as Sarah stared at her plate, deep in thought. Finally, he put down his fork. Pushing back his seat, he stood and spelled the dishes away to the kitchen to clean up. Grabbing her arm gently, he pulled her up and way from the table and into the sitting room. "Sit" he commanded and she obeyed absently. He sat across from her, giving her his full attention. "What's going on, Sarah?"

Sarah looked up. "I think Fred Weasley still likes me"

Snape blinked and stared at her confused. "And…?" He swiped his hand, gesturing her to continue.

"And?" Sarah squeaked. "There needs to be more?"

Snape shook his head in disbelief. "Sarah Grace, that boy has 'liked you' as you call it since your first year. _How_ is this a shock to you?"

Sarah twisted her hands. "I know 4th year we had a thing but we both moved on. He was with Angelina."

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Does that bother you? It didn't seem to bother you last year when it was going on. Why now?"

"Last year was such a whirl, I didn't even have time to think about it" Sarah sighed. "And it doesn't really bother me. He had every right to be with whomever he wanted. It's just that…" she paused.

"Yes?"

"She's so pretty!" Sarah groaned. "And so good at quidditch. I'm terrible on a broom. And well, I'm certainly not pretty like her"

"Oh Merlin help me" Severus muttered under his breath as he rubbed his face with his hands. "You are lovely. And anyway, I think that is all besides the point if they have broken up" Snape responded, collecting his patience. "How do you feel about Fred liking you?"

Sarah let out a breath. "I guess I'm worried that if I start to like him back, it's just because I'm on the rebound from Draco. I can't do that to him. He is one of my best friends"

Severus rose and went to sit next to her. "I wouldn't worry too much of that. Stop analyzing things and see where they go"

"That seems logical" Sarah replied. "Why couldn't I have thought of that on my own?"

"I can't imagine why not" Severus replied, sarcastically.

"Good thing you are here to keep me straight" Sarah giggled. "What would I do without you? Did you ever think that when you took guardianship, you would have to give me boy advice?"

"Indeed I did not" Snape responded dryly. "If I did, I think I would have run in the other direction without hesitation"

Sarah smacked him playfully. "Oh, but you love me"

"I do" Snape responded, his manner changing from teasing sarcasm to seriousness. "Don't forget that" He stared at her intently and Sarah was confused with the abrupt change. "Is something wrong?" she asked.

Severus rose and kissed her head. "Nothing for you to worry about" he replied as he left her by herself.

* * *

"Sarah" Snape opened the door to her room the following morning. She sitting on her bed, surrounded by scores of open books on healing charms. As part of her summer education, Severus was determined to teach her the charms. He knew that it was very likely she might needed to use them one day. Sarah actually found them fascinating. As she read, she was sticking notes to the pages of questions she had or other things she wanted to discuss with him.

He stepped into her room, face serious. "I need you to stay in here until I come to get you" His tone allowed no room for argument and Sarah knew something wasn't right.

Sarah moved her books out of the way, so she could stand up. "What is it?"

Snape was grim. "We have visitors" he stared at her sternly. "Promise me you will not leave this room" He stepped forward and grabbed her arm, squeezing it tightly. "I need your word, _now Sarah_"

Sarah's eyes widened, surprised. They never had visitors who would cause this type of reaction. "Who is here?" she asked.

"Narcissa… and Bellatrix Lestrange" Severus answered calmly. With her arm that was not being constrained by Snape's death grip, Sarah reached for the wand in her pocket and pulled it out.

"Where is she?" she demanded, fiercely. "How dare she come into our home?"

Snape jerked her roughly. "Remember who you are" he commanded firmly. "You will not compromise everything so you can throw wild hexes at Bellatrix"

Sarah glared at him, but lowered her wand, knowing he was right. "You are to not leave this room under any circumstances. I will use a sticking charm if I must" He growled at her. "Give me your word Sarah. And do so quickly, or so help me I will make the next few weeks miserable for you."

"Fine" she moved away and threw herself back on her bed as Snape left her room. Once outside, he charmed it so even if she wanted to escape, it would take her so long to reverse his spell that Bellatrix and Narcissa would be gone by then. Clearing his mind, he moved into his role. He knew that Bellatrix must have put Narcissa up to something, for them to come to his home together. And that worried him.

He entered the sitting room to find that Wiggles did show his guests in. Upon seeing him, Narcissa rose gracefully. "Severus, I'm so sorry to interrupt your afternoon" Her back was to Bellatrix and she allowed him to read her expression easily. His heart quickened, but he forced himself to remain calm.

"Not at all, Cissy" Severus assured her, formally. "Do have a seat. Tell me what is on your mind"

Bellatrix turned around from where she was examining some of the objects on the mantle. "Where's the girl?" she asked haughtily as she looked around.

"Do not touch what is not yours, Bellatrix" Severus sneered. "And the girl is in her room, a sticking charm holding her to her bed-for her protection, of course. When she realized that you were visiting, she was notably upset. I did not want her to do anything to inconvenience you. I'm still trying to teach her manners"

"How thoughtful" Bellatrix responded dryly as she moved to sit next to her sister. "Now, Narcissa wants to speak to you about Draco and I decided to come along too, just to make sure everything is above board"

"Well, let us let Narcissa speak, shall we?" Severus asked, as he lazily sat on the chair.

Narcissa leaned forward. "You do know of the mission Draco has been asked to do"

Severus responded, "I am aware of it"

"And you know he must not fail" Narcissa wrung her hands and then with great effort forced herself to still them. "Please Sev, if there is any assistance you can give him, as old friends, I must ask you to…you are his godfather"

Severus rose and walked over to study the clock on the mantle. Back to them, he responded,"The task has been given to Draco, Cissy. I'm not sure how appropriate…"

Narcissa rose swiftly. "You are his godfather! If it is appropriate for anyone, it is for you!" Tears sprung to her eyes and she swiped at them, embarrassed by her lack of appropriate decorum, especially when her every move was being scrutinized by her sister.

Severus turned around at her tone. While they had been putting on a show for Bellatrix since they arrived, he knew the absolute panic and dread Narcissa was feeling was real. And he knew that while he loved Sarah, she was safe as long as _he_ was in the Dark Lord's good graces. Draco, on the other hand, was not and he loved him and Narcissa too- too much in fact to allow them to perish, when he had the power to help save them. Albus was right. This was the only way.

So in that moment, surveying Narcissa's emotion, he formed his decision and as such, he made his sacrifice. "I will do as you ask. I will do my best to protect him" Severus stated in a low voice.

Narcissa squeezed her eyes shut. "Thank you, Severus" she whispered, satisfied, but Bellatrix held up a hand.

"Not so fast, Cissy" She eyed Snape carefully. "Make the unbreakable vow" She hissed.

Narcissa's eyes shot open in surprise. "That's not necessary" she responded firmly. "I take Severus at his word. We have been friends for years"

"I believe it is" Bellatrix argued. "And if Snape truly is committed to Draco's protection then he should have no problem with making the vow"

And then Severus knew Bellatrix's agenda. She knew Draco was not capable of doing it himself so he was trapped. So, he forced himself to remain impassive…he allowed himself to vow himself to protect Draco at all costs…and to commit the deed in Draco's stead, if he was not able to complete it himself.

Satisfied, Bellatrix left Snape Manor quickly, telling Narcissa she would meet her back home. Once Bella was gone, an agitated Severus swept the room for hidden charms. Narcissa sunk back down on the couch, emotionally spent.

"I'm so sorry, Sev" she whispered. "I know the sacrifice you have to make to honor the vow. I would never want you to…I know you love her"

Severus swirled around, but seeing Narcissa's expression, he calmed himself. He sighed heavily and sat on the couch next to her. "It is done" he put his arm around her. "We will survive this, Narcissa. All of us. Including Sarah. I have just made sure that she remains protected."

"But she won't understand" Narcissa argued. "She is so young. She needs you. She adores you. I see it. It will devastate her whether it is Draco or you to carry out the Dark Lord's task"

"Then I will prepare her" Snape said determined. "And when our relationship is severed, she will not fall apart…she must not"

But Snape was wondering inside, how he could prepare her enough for those words to come true.

A/N: a shorter chapter this time, but it seemed like a good breaking point. What did you all think? Did you like Fred's gesture? And poor Snape having to give boy advice…and then having to make the unbreakable vow! Up next: End of summer- Sarah spends time at the Weasleys and the four begin to suspect that Draco might be up to something


	4. Moving On

**Chapter 4: Moving On**

As the end of the summer drew near, Sarah approached Snape about spending a week with the Weasleys. Truth be told, Severus was almost relieved with her request. He needed some time to separate himself from her and prepare himself for the inevitable. Therefore, he only put up a mild argument when Sarah talked to him about her wishes. She would return and they would still have a week left in the holidays to finish their last minute preparations. So Severus dropped a happy Sarah off at the Weasleys that morning.

The first day at the Weasleys was spent in various activities around the Burrow from playing games to just relaxing and catching up. While Hermione had spent the first part of the day with them, she had to go home for the night due to a prior engagement, but she would return tomorrow. It was almost dinnertime and the kids were inside playing a game of wizarding snap. However, right before they were to eat, Mrs. Weasley shooed them outside, saying that dinner would be later tonight and suggested that they find something to occupy themselves for a while. That could only mean one thing: An Order Meeting. And Sarah knew it must be unexpected if Snape hadn't said anything to her when he dropped her off.

But just as Mrs. Weasley was pushing them out the door, Fred and George showed up.

Molly's mouth dropped open in shock at the sight of her twin boys. "What are you two boys doing here? I have hardly seen you all summer with your…your project" She put her hands on her hips. "_Please_ tell me that you have come to your senses and decided to go into the ministry with your father"

"No such luck, mum" George answered. "But…"

"we would like to stay for dinner" Fred finished for his twin. "If that's ok with you" he added somewhat as an afterthought, because the boys seriously doubted that their mum would refuse to feed them. It wasn't in Molly's nature.

Molly frowned. "Of course. I'm not going to deprive my children of food and family, no matter how I disapprove of your choices" She replied firmly. "But why now? Did you miss your old mum?"

"Well mum, hate to disappoint you…"George laughed as he elbowed his brother in the ribs. "Fred heard that you had a visitor"

Molly's gaze traveled to where Sarah was standing in the yard, pretending to talk to Ginny, but really listening in. She smiled, knowingly. "I see. Of course you can stay. The Order is meeting, so dinner will be later than usual." She pushed them outside. "Off you go"

The twins met up with the others outside.

"Anybody up for a quidditch match?" George asked. "We have to help Ron prepare for tryouts…just because we are gone, doesn't mean the Gryffindor team can go to hell. We don't want Slytherin to get the Quidditch cup"

Harry agreed. "I need some practice" He smiled shyly at Ginny. "You in, Gin?"

"Absolutely" Ginny replied. "Wouldn't miss it"

Ron nudged Sarah. "Want to try? We have an extra broom" he encouraged. "We'll go easy on you. With Hermione back at her parents for the night, we don't want you to be all by yourself"

"That's nice of you, Ron" Sarah responded. " but, no, I think I will just watch- thank you very much"

"Are you sure, Sarah?" Fred asked. "You can be on my team"

"I'm fine" Sarah assured as she plopped down on the grass. "See, perfect spot to watch. Go on now"

The others went to grab their brooms and as they did, Harry turned to Ron, "That was really nice of you to try to include Sarah."

Ron shrugged, nonchalantly. "well, you forget she's my friend too and this stuff with Draco has been rough on her on top of Sirius dying…I _can_ be sympathetic, you know"

Fred turned back. "Has she said anything to you about it?" he asked, curious.

"She talked to us this morning" Harry admitted as he mounted his broom. "She seems like she is doing ok. Ready to move on"

Fred turned to look at Sarah. She smiled at him and waved. Fred grinned back.

Sarah watched them play for about 30 minutes. Ron was getting much better with the practice. He might be able to make the team this year. She knew that was important for him- coming from the family he does. She was so engrossed that she didn't notice Fred flew down and was walking towards her- two brooms in hand.

"Come on" He held out his hand and Sarah took it. "Let's go" he pulled her up.

"Go where?" Sarah asked, brushing off the grass from her bottom and back of her thighs.

"Flying" Fred replied as he handed her a broom. "And don't argue with me" He began to walk away towards he pond.

"But, Fred" Sarah protested, increasing her pace to keep up. "I'm not good at it. Never have been- you know that"

Fred kept walking until he found a spot away from the others. "You will never improve unless you practice. And what if you need it to fight against you- know-who?"

Sarah found the seriousness of the look he gave her to be quite amusing. "You think Voldemort is going to chase me on a broom?" she asked, giggling. "I really don't think it is his style" She found the prospect so funny, that she began to double over from laughter.

Fred gave her a mock severe look. "It could happen. And then you would be doomed" he said dramatically, before adding, "You are ok with going in one direction- we just need to work on your turns" He got on his broom and waited for her.

She could see that Fred was not going to give up with it.

"Alright" Sarah sighed. "you win" she mounted the broom and hovered above the ground. "Show me how to turn"

Fred showed her how to swing around a few times, while hovering a few feet above ground. "Do you think you can try now?" he asked hopefully. "The hard part is doing it mid-flight"

Sarah bit her lip in concentration as she tried to go through the motions to move her hands to swing her broom around. Finally, she looked up. "Um…no" she looked at him helplessly. "If I try it, I'm going to fall"

"Yes, you can" Fred assured her. "If you can do all these complicated charms and defensive spells, you can surely do this. Just try it. It looks like you have the motions right"

Sarah looked at him skeptically. "It's different than charms or defense" But with Fred's encouragement, she tried and would have fallen off, if Fred hadn't quickly grabbed and steadied her just in time.

He panted heavily, from his quick action and the scare that she gave him.

"Ok, get down" Fred said. Sarah sighed in relief. "Good, I'm glad you are coming to your senses" but squealed as Fred grabbed her and pulled her up to where she was sitting in front of him. He whispered patiently in her ear the hand movements again, moving her hands for her to turn the broom around. "You have to have confidence" Fred said. "You have to believe you aren't going to fall" He turned it around again and then for good measure, took off and showed her the feeling of sudden spirals mid-flight as Sarah laughed, exhilarated. Finally, he lowered it down the ground and they got off. Sarah's legs were wobbly and she accidentally toppled Fred as he tried to keep her from falling. They collapsed in an undignified heap on the ground.

"Oops" Sarah said as she untangled herself from Fred's gasp. "Sorry"

He laid on his back and Sarah rolled over to lay next to him, watching the others as they were continuing to play their game.

"Are you ready to try on your own?" Fred asked, as he looped his arm through hers.

"Merlin….no" Sarah giggled. "I will break my neck. I think its one of those things that some people have it and some don't…Dad said my mother was a terrible flyer too and that he always tried to teach her these things, but she was hopeless"

"Yeah, I suppose that is right" Fred responded. "I was wondering if there was a hidden talent in there. Well, that theory was _obviously_ wrong…" he teased. "I'm lucky I still have all my limbs trying to prevent you from falling"

"Madam Hooch was always so exasperated with me" Sarah said. "And Snape never really cared to push me in it like with the other subjects. I think he just passed it off as being hereditary"

Fred laughed in response and Sarah unhooked her arm and rolled to her side to face him. Fred turned his head towards her, but didn't move his body. "Does it matter to you that I horrible at quidditch or even at flying in general?" she asked, softly.

"Not at all" Fred met her eyes. "I just thought if I could teach you, you wouldn't be so left out when we all played"

"Thank you" Sarah touched his arm. "That was thoughtful" She was quiet for a few more moments before asking, "Why are you here? Your opening is tomorrow- I'm sure there is much to be done"

"I wanted to be near you" Fred responded. "You will be there tomorrow, right?"

Sarah nodded. "Your mum is taking us school supply shopping, but I am sure it is just her excuse to see what you have done"

Fred laughed. "That's mum for you. Has to have her hand in everything…I'm glad you are coming"

Sarah smiled. "You know I wouldn't miss it"

Fred drew in and let go of his breath. "When the shop closes, George is taking Katie out for a dinner, to… you know, to celebrate things. I would like it…" he paused and shook his head. Rolling to his side, he faced her. "I get that you are not over Draco. And you have the right to pine after him for a while and all that mess…it just is- you drive me insane. You are my best friend, after my twin, and yet…unreachable"

Sarah absently played with a blade of grass, before managing to meet his eyes. "You are right. I'm not over Draco. Am I ready for another full out relationship right now? No. But I'm not all that unreachable…ask me what you wanted to ask me" she responded seriously.

"Go with me and celebrate" Fred said.

"I'd love to" Sarah replied with a smile. "But you have to ask Snape if I can go" she patted his arm and sat up. Pressing her hands to the ground, she pushed herself up. "I would choose during dinner when the others are there to intervene"

"No worries" Fred said, confidently as he got up. "I can handle Snape"

"I think I really do drive you insane" she quipped at his confidence in his ability to convince Snape to let him take her out. In response, Fred reached to poke her in her sides, causing her to double over with laughter.

* * *

The Order meeting had broken up and Molly was finishing with dinner. "Will you stay, Severus?" she asked. Snape nodded as he walked to the sink to wash his hands and after he did so, he stood at the window to watch the children. Sarah and Fred were flying, Sarah squeals filled the air as Fred did all sorts of maneuvers. He watched them get off and her clumsily knocking Fred down as they fell in a heap, laughing together. Molly followed his gaze from where she was preparing food by the sink.

"They seem happy, don't they?" she remarked, lightly.

Snape nodded. "It's good to see her laugh like that again. She hasn't been herself this summer. Sirius's death…and Draco hit her hard"

"I can't imagine losing both her parents" Molly shook her head. "The poor dear…and first loves, I know all about that" She chopped some potatoes into small pieces. "But I have seen it straight away- she belongs with my son- the sooner she realizes it, the better for both of them "

Snape frowned. "She is still young, Molly. She has all the time in the world to sort it out"

Molly threw the potatoes onto the pan to fry them. "Another year and she will be of age. And with this war, who knows?" Molly wiped her hands on her apron. "I know you want her to wait forever to marry, but sometimes that is not what is best"

Sev stiffened. "I can't even think about that right now. She is still the little girl with braids and ribbons who had the stubborn streak that I felt for sure was to be the end of me"

Molly laughed. "She still does. But I'm thinking Fred will help her come around. He is persistent and sneaky. It will hit her when she least expects it…and then you _will_ have your hands full"

Severus nodded briskly, but walked away because he knew that when that time came, he would probably have nothing to do with it.

* * *

Dinner at the Weasleys was always a casual affair. Most of the order members had left, but Dumbledore, Lupin, Tonks, and Snape had stayed. Sarah was grateful for that because they were people who were all privy to Sarah's true relationship with Snape and they didn't have to pretend to loathe each other over dinner.

Harry passed Sarah some potatoes. "So, what was going on with you and Fred?" he asked teasingly. "You looked awfully cozy with him"

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean, friend" Sarah responded innocently. "How about what is going on between you _and Gin_?"

"Hmm, I'm not sure I understand what _you_ mean" Harry said and Sarah elbowed him and told him to pass the meat.

Harry began to talk to Lupin and Sarah made causal conversation with Tonks. However, she soon got distracted by Fred and Snape's conversation at the end of the table. Harry and Lupin stopped talking to listen as well.

"I'm just not sure that is advisable" Snape replied. "She is not even 16 years old"

"I would pick her up and drop her off from here. It is dinner with my brother and Katie Bell. How much trouble do you think we could get in?" Fred asked. "There would be no opportunity to do so and besides, you know that I would never allow Sarah to be in harms way"

"I thought you said nothing was going on" Harry elbowed her and Ron gaped at her, but Sarah shushed them both. "I'll explain later, ok? she whispered.

"He does have a point" Dumbledore offered from the other end of the table, his eyes twinkling.

"Stay out of it, Albus" Snape snapped and Sarah's heart sunk. Snape was irritated, but was it enough for him to forbid her going? Sarah was sure she was doomed and that thought made her upset. She was about to give Snape her thoughts about the subject, when Tonks spoke up with a suggestion "Remus and I were thinking about going out to dinner tomorrow night. We could make sure nothing happens, but give them their privacy"

"Dora is right" Lupin replied. "We would be happy to do so. No trouble at all"

Sarah shot the two a grateful look, mouthing "thank you" and then turned to watch her uncle. He was wavering, she was sure of it.

"Molly, what do you think of it?" Snape asked neutrally.

Molly's eyes went from Sarah to her son and back to Snape again. "If it was Ginny, even though she was younger than I would prefer, with Tonks and Remus watching, I would allow her to go" she said.

"Alright" Snape consented, but then stared Fred down. "You will have her back to your parents by 9:00, do you understand?"

"Of course, sir" Fred replied in the most respectful tone imaginable.

"Thank you, Uncle Sev" Sarah smiled at him, and Snape nodded. "You will behave yourself"

"I always do" Sarah responded earnestly. Snape rolled his eyes, the other adults burst out laughing and even Lupin snorted at that one.

"Ok, Ok" Sarah held up her hands. "I always _try_ to. Some days I am just more successful that others"

"That would be a far more accurate assessment of your behavior" Snape concluded dryly as the others laughed even harder.

* * *

The next day Hermione met up with them in Diagon Alley and they made the way to Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. The shop was crowded, with hardly room to breathe, as students were exploring all the products, laughing and shopping with their friends.

"It looks like it is a great success" Sarah said to her friends. She scooted closer to Harry, as the crowd edged around her.

"Yeah, I still can't believe that Fred and George named something after you" Ron muttered. "I'm their brother and I don't have anything named after me"

"Really, Ron" Hermione said, catching Sarah's eye. "I can't imagine why Fred would want to do something like that"

Harry snorted and Sarah blushed deeply. Unfortunately it was at that moment that the twins decided to greet them. Fred smiled at the color of her face. "Were you talking about me?" he asked, mischievously.

"Of course not" Harry rescued Sarah from further embarrassment by their good-natured teasing. "This is amazing, guys, really great"

"Thank you" they replied. "Anything you want is yours"

"Hey" Ron protested. "First, Sarah gets something named after her and now Harry gets anything he wants? I'm your _brother_!" He looked around. "What kind of discount do I get?"

George threw his arm around his shoulder. "Everything for you costs-"

"double, brother" Fred replied and Ron rolled his eyes. He began to argue with George and Fred pulled Sarah slightly away from the group.

"I have to get back" he said, "but everything still alright for tonight? I'll pick you up from the Burrow around 6:30"

Sarah's stomach fluttered as she smiled, almost shyly. "Of course. I can't wait"

Fred grinned and kissed her cheek before heading off to take care of some customers. Harry came up beside her and put his arm through hers. "Ron and Hermione are outside arguing again. Ready to go?" Sarah nodded and Harry pulled her through the crowds out the door.

The four were discussing what to do next as they headed down the street, when Harry saw Draco and Narcissa turning the corner to Knockturn Alley. He pointed it out and Sarah's stomach dropped at the sight.

"Let's go!" Harry whispered, but Sarah protested. "I'm not following them, Harry. I'm sure they have a reason to be there" Hermione agreed with Sarah, but Ron said, "yeah, a dark reason…why else would they go there?"

"I don't know" Harry replied. "But I'm going to find out" He firmly grasped Sarah's arm and led them towards where the Malfoys went. Sarah sighed and didn't try to fight it further. She wanted to know as well what could entice Draco and Narcissa to travel there. She was just afraid of the answer.

They followed them to Borgin and Burkes and Harry listened with extendable ears as they watched carefully. Narcissa and Draco talked with a man while being shown what look like to be a wardrobe. Sarah's heart felt like it was going to pound right through her chest and she saw Draco turn and show the man something, which clearly frightened him. They backed up to remain hidden as Narcissa and Draco left the store.

"Do you have any idea what that could be?" Harry asked and the others shook their heads as they began to walk back.

"What did they say?" Sarah asked and Harry responded, "They were just sorting out the details of purchasing that piece. Did you see what Draco showed him? It obviously scared the man. What else…"

"I think I know where you are going, Harry" Sarah replied. "And it is not possible. Draco would not have taken the mark. And even if he did, he would have told me. I asked him if he was in trouble. And he said no. He would have told me if he was"

"Told _you_?" Harry argued. "Not bloody likely, Sarah. He broke things off with you, didn't he? Can't you see him for who he is?" He paused.

Sarah's lip trembled. "Harry, I just can't believe…in spite of everything, he is _not_ a Death Eater. Yes, he can be a prat, but he is not evil. I just don't believe it. Whatever is going on is not what you think"

"Yes, you can believe it to be possible" Harry's eyes dug into hers. "And that is the problem" Sarah shook as she stopped moving, her eyes flooded with tears. Ron and Hermione stepped in to intervene.

"Back off, mate" Ron said. "Malfoy has put her through a lot, you don't need to add to it"

Harry's tone softened as he saw her tears. "Listen, Sarah' He put his arm around her and pulled her close to him. "I know you don't want to believe it, but there is something going on here. And if Malfoy has become a Death Eater, Voldemort has put him up to something and we have to figure out what it is"

"I just don't see how you- know- who would give Draco Malfoy of all people a mission" Hermione responded. "He isn't even of age"

"Like that would matter to Voldemort" Harry said.

"He has a point there" Ron said.

Sarah started walking again. "I don't want to talk about this anymore. Let's go find your mum. We still have some shopping to do and I want to rest before having to get ready to meet Fred."

Hermione shot the boys a warning not to argue with Sarah's wishes as she agreed. "I'll come with you Sarah" she said. She grabbed her arm and they left the boys behind to discuss Draco Malfoy and what they witnessed.

* * *

Fred picked her up at the Burrow at 6:30 pm. After saying hello and goodbye to the others and Molly sternly reminding him to bring her home on time, Fred and her walked outside.

"You look great" Fred said. Sarah was wearing a blue and white sundress that Hermione had picked out for her. It was shorter than what her uncle would have permitted, but that just made her thankful Fred picked her up from the Burrow and not Snape Manor. Her normally straight hair was curled under a headband, Hermione and Ginny coaxing her to do so. Sarah murmured her thanks and Fred inquired, "How are you feeling?"

"Honestly?" Sarah smiled as a blush crept up over her face. "Really nervous"

"Really?" Fred grinned. "I think I will take that as a good sign" He slipped his hand in hers. "Don't be too nervous, though. I want you to feel comfortable"

Sarah squeezed his hand. "I do, just in a nervous kind of way" she laughed at herself. "That was absolute rubbish- made no sense at all"

Fred smiled. "I know what you meant" He released her hand and took hold of her arm. "Are you ok with apparating?"

"Of course" Sarah replied. "Snape has apparated with me loads of time and I only sicked up on him the first time"

Fred chuckled. "I'm sure he loved that one" He apparated with her to Diagon Alley outside a small café with tables lining the street.

"I have never been here at night" Sarah remarked as she looked around. "It looks so different" The whole street was lit up and people were casually milling around, not like the hustle of daytime. Fred led her to a table where George and Katie were sitting. Sarah saw Tonks and Lupin a few tables down and she waved and smiled at them.

Dinner was delicious- of the Italian fare, which Sarah loved. She found it really easy to talk with Katie and George and they chatted from everything from sixth year courses to the happenings with the Ministry to quidditch. Occasionally, she would catch Fred watching her intently and that would make her stomach flutter, but also feel unbelievably content. They toasted to Fred and George's success, but also to as Fred put it, "second chances to do things right" which caused Sarah to blush and George to smirk at her in a teasing brother sort of way.

Afterwards, Fred asked Remus and Tonks if they could go get ice-cream and so they did. This time George and Katie ate inside and Sarah and Fred were outside on a bench with Tonks and Lupin nearby, of course.

"Want a bite?" Sarah asked as she offered Fred her double chocolate ice-cream. Fred took a spoonful as Sarah tasted his berry flavor.

"Hum, that's really good" Fred remarked.

"Yeah, it is" Sarah crossed her legs as she leaned back on the bench, relaxed.

Fred looked at her. "So…I was thinking"

"Uh oh…that's not good" Sarah responded teasingly and Fred poked her. "Behave, Sarah…as I was saying, I was thinking…it's going to be a really long year"

"I know" Sarah replied. "I can't imagine Hogwarts without you and George there to get me into loads of trouble"

Fred raised an eyebrow. "I think you will handle that just fine on your own, Miss Black…but you are right, things are different with George and I being so far away. So I was thinking…" He put his icecream down beside him and put his arm around her. "What if for your Hogsmeade visits, I can come and spend the Saturday with you? George and I are hiring someone to help with the shop and I'm sure that would be fine. And we already know we want to attend some Quidditch matches…would that be Ok?" he paused and then continued quickly, "I understand about you needing time- really I do. I don't want us to rush anything, but I want us to be going somewhere- do you get what I mean?"

"I do" Sarah responded slowly. "And I think I would like that. With one condition-"

Fred's pulse quickened. "which is?"

"If we are going to explore this, we should do this right. Between visits, I want us to write. I want to know what is going on with you and I want to be able to share what is going on with me. Would that be alright with you?"

"Absolutely" Fred grinned and they remained in comfortable silence, Fred's arm around her securely, as they watched the people passing by until it was time to go home.

**A/N**: Surprisingly hard chapter to write…did it read ok? I just love Fred Weasley! But I love Draco too…oh, dilemma is right! Sarah is convinced that Draco has not turned over to the dark side…but we know Harry will keep pushing the issue, until Sarah is forced to act when all she really wants to do is move on. Up next: Start of 6th year…


	5. Suspicions

**A/N**: Another chapter…and this one is a long one. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer**: still don't own…surprise, surprise

**Chapter 5: Suspicions**

Sarah's sixth year started with a surprise. She was throwing last minute clothing items into her trunk that she had purchased while shopping. Since Voldemort, Narcissa couldn't take her shopping anymore, so Severus relied on Molly to take her and they had gotten many new shirts, skirts, pants and accessories. Sarah figured she could sort through them later, so she was just stuffing them in. Snape had already done his routine inspection of her packing and was satisfied, so she figured he wouldn't look again and she could be more relaxed about it. But as she was doing so, Snape knocked on her door and came in.

"Sarah" he began, but then saw what she was doing. He stopped and shook his head- amazed by her lack of organization in packing. Pulling out his wand, he spelled all of her things that she had been working on out of her trunk and into a pile on her bed. "Fold the clothes and do it right." He told her sternly, "Honestly, aren't girls your age supposed to be good at this sort of thing?"

"Supposedly" Sarah responded as she sat on her bed and began folding without argument (as she knew arguing would do little) "But apparently not me. Can't you teach me a spell for this?" She supposed that she could teach herself, but she always forgot about wanting to learn one until times like these, and those times only rolled around a couple times a year.

Snape reached over to sit across from her and began to fold as well. "Perhaps, when you prove that you are disciplined enough to do it without a spell. Magic is not supposed to be used to encourage laziness, Sarah"

"I guess you are right" she replied. "However, a lot of adult wizards do it just for that"

"Well, you are not them" Snape told her firmly. "You are better than that" He paused as he reached for another shirt. "Can you fold and talk at the same time?" he asked.

"Yes, sir" Sarah responded and Snape continued to talk to her.

"The Headmaster has decided that I am to teach Defense this year" Severus told her calmly.

Sarah stopped folding. She dropped the clothes she was working on to look up at him. "Really?" she asked, incredulously. "Why would he do that?"

"Your vote of confidence in my ability truly inspires me" Snape said dryly, with a roll of his eyes.

"No, no" Sarah rushed to continue. "I didn't mean that you won't be brilliant at it. You teach me defense already and you are great at it, truly…and well, if we are honest, you couldn't be any worse than the imbeciles that we have had…all except Professor Lupin, of course. He was the best….but anyway, I just meant why now?" She said in a rush and let out her breath.

"The Headmaster needed someone in my position. An old professor- he taught while I was at school" Snape replied. "He wants him back, for reasons he hasn't made me privy to"

"You will still help me with my NEWT work, right?" Sarah asked, worriedly.

"Of course" Snape replied. "I will monitor you like I always do. I'm not sure that you will need quite the amount of support in previous years. You really have taken off with it"

"Good" Sarah nodded, relieved. She picked up the skirt she dropped. "Why hadn't Dumbledore given you the position in previous years? We have gone through professor after professor"

"Professor or Headmaster Dumbledore to you" Severus reminded her. "And I suppose that would be because I'm not sure he believes that one can truly separate themselves with the Dark Arts…no matter how well their intentions are"

"Really?" Sarah frowned. "So it would be like a temptation for you to be around it again? But now that Voldemort has returned and gained power, it doesn't matter because you are around it anyway?" she asked, wanting clarification.

Severus nodded and Sarah mulled over his words for a few moments. "And is it, sir?" she asked, quietly. Her eyes met his and after a few seconds, he looked away.

"You let me worry about me and you worry about all of your temptations" Severus replied and Sarah finished her packing in silence, pondering his words- disturbed.

* * *

The train ride to Hogwarts found Harry, Hermione, Ron and Sarah conversing over the past week. Sarah told them that Snape was teaching defense to everyone's surprise and chagrin. Then the conversation moved from bad to worse as Harry started talking about Draco's activities again, convinced that he was up to something sinister.

Sarah groaned. "I don't know why we keep coming back to this, Harry. I just don't think it is possible"

"He is up to something" Harry insisted as he reached up to the top of the train compartment. "And I am going to figure out what it is" He pulled down his invisibility cloak and headed for the door.

"Harry" Hermione warned. "Don't do something foolish"

"I will let you know what I find out" Harry replied, turning back towards them. "If you are interested, that is" He left and Sarah turned to Hermione and Ron.

"How do I get him to back off of this?" she asked.

"I think he just needs something to focus on since Sirius's death" Ron said and Hermione's mouth dropped opened slightly. "That's very perceptive, Ronald" she said.

"Thanks" Ron mumbled. "But you don't have to act so surprise"

"But we are all mourning Dad" Sarah put her hands on her knees. "He is my father. But I'm not going after Draco. It's not his fault" She sighed. "I need him to stop with it, though. I can't think of Draco now. If I do, I will never move on"

"And you want to move on" Hermione smiled, knowingly. "Then forget about Draco. Harry will move on, once he is distracted with school and quidditch"

Ron frowned. "I wouldn't be so sure of that, Mione" he said, and Sarah was inclined to side with Ron- Harry wouldn't give up on this easily, not when he was so convinced.

They changed the subject and talked for a good while before the train came to a lurching stop. Sarah grabbed her bag. "Harry isn't back. I'm going to go find him. I'll catch up with you guys" She walked down the aisle until she found the compartment full of sixth year Slytherins that was emptying.

As she did, she knocked into Pansy. "What are you doing here, Black?" she sneered.

"None of your concern" Sarah replied as she moved out of the way.

"If you are looking for Draco" Pansy pressed. "He doesn't want to see you. He made that quite clear. In fact, he made it clear that he wants to move on, if you catch my meaning. I think he never quite got over me. _You_ were a mere distraction"

"Shove off" Sarah replied as she reached into her pocket. Blaise eyed her hand movement and was quick to intervene, knowing Sarah's arsenal of hexes and spells. Plus, he thought Black was alright- for a Gryffindor, that is. Truth be told, he liked her better than Pansy, who got on his nerves, but he tolerated her because of her relationship with Draco- and that relationship had suddenly been renewed, much to his surprise.

"Let's go Pansy" he said and took her arm. He turned back and whispered "Sorry" and Sarah smiled at him. There were certain Slytherins she liked being around and Blaise was one of them.

Sarah walked closer to the compartment as Draco came out. He stopped abruptly as he saw her- the first time since their breakup. A shadow of an expression came over him, but it passed quickly before Sarah could read it.

"Black" Draco approached her and grabbed her arm, squeezing it. "You tell Potter that if he knows what is good for him, he will back off" His voice was low and face was stony. Sarah felt like years of friendship had washed away in the past few weeks. While before they were dating, Draco calling her "Black" seemed like a term of endearment, now it just felt harsh.

"Does he have reason to be suspicious?" Sarah asked, fiercely as she jerked out of his grasp.

The expression came back again, but quickly disappeared. "Just tell him" Draco replied, somewhat resigned.

"Draco, if there is something wrong…" Sarah reached for his arm, but Draco moved quickly away from her, not wanting her to touch him.

"Nothing is wrong" he replied. "Leave it alone, Black. Goodbye" he stalked off, leaving Sarah to lean against the side, trying to make sense of it all and shove down the hurt that she felt at Draco's reaction to her. Taking a deep breath, she walked over and opened the door to the compartment. Pulling out her wand, she looked around, but didn't see Harry. Knowing Draco had a hand in it, she walked around until she bumped into something and she heard Harry groan in pain. Stooping down, she removed his invisibility coat and helped him up. Eyeing the blood, she asked, "Draco did this to you?"

Harry nodded as Sarah cast the healing charms to fix his nose and cuts. "Now do you believe me?"

"I don't know, Harry" she whispered. "I just don't know"

* * *

"Sarah?" Hermione was exasperated. "Help me out here" Sarah looked up from the letter she was reading at the breakfast table. Fred had written her first, true to their promise and Sarah loved reading it and re-reading it- it was witty and charming, so much like Fred. It made her laugh. She couldn't wait until the afternoon when she could write him back before settling into her pile of homework.

Classes had started the day before and Hermione was quite upset that Harry still refused to relinquish the book he found that helped him produce such a well brewed potion in potions class. Sarah's potion hadn't been nearly as good and Hermione's for once was a disaster, and she supposed that it was hard for her to take, especially Slughorn's praise at Harry's "abilities".

"Have you seen this?" Hermione squeaked. "It is unfair. Harry has to turn it in. That's all there is to it"

"Not bloody likely" Ron replied and Sarah folded her letter to give them her attention. "Can I see this book?" she asked, reluctantly.

Harry handed her the book. Sarah flipped through it. "You found this in Slughorn's cabinet?"

Harry nodded. "I wouldn't call it cheating…more like having the book tutor me"

Sarah studied the book- stopping to read the handwriting. It looked awfully familiar. She looked back up, with a slight frown on her face. Closing the book, she handed it back to Harry. "We are going to be late for class. We should go"

"Sarah!" Hermione scolded. "Say something"

She shrugged. "I can see Harry's point- it is the same as having a tutor. I wouldn't call it cheating" She stuck her letter in her bag and Hermione rose quickly and stalked off- Ron rolling his eyes and following close behind her. Sarah turned to Harry.

"When you get a chance, I would like to look at the book closer" Sarah told him. "We don't know the person who wrote those notes or even if they are safe to follow. I will give it back- I just feel like I need to look at it more"

"That's fine" Harry replied. "Do you suspect something?"

Sarah's shook her head. "Not really. The handwriting just looks a bit familiar. That's all"

But the week got too busy and Sarah forgot to follow up and ask Harry about the book, it slipping away from her mind until much later.

* * *

The first month passed by quickly. Sarah's NEWT classes were demanding and between juggling that and Snape's private tutoring, plus writing her almost daily letters to Fred. She enjoyed her frequent visits to the owlery to send Fred his letters and on one such trip, she ran smack into Draco, who was coming out onto the top landing.

"Sorry" Sarah murmured and Draco reached out to steady her to keep her from falling down the steps from the landing they were standing on.

She studied her former boyfriend. She hadn't noticed it before but there was weariness about him. He looked like he hadn't been sleeping at all much- dark circles formed under his eyes and his shoulders were slightly slumped forward. What would cause him to look like that? He seemed older than his sixteen years almost more of an adult, than a teenager.

Despite the fact that she was holding in her hand a letter to be mailed to the boy who was very likely to become her boyfriend, she felt a rush of tenderness towards Draco.

Once making sure she wasn't going to fall, Draco lowered his hand, and sideswiped her to walk away, but in a moment of instinct, Sarah's hand shot out to grab his wrist. Draco turned back in surprise, shocked by her touch.

"Draco, have you not been sleeping?" Her voice was etched in concern and Draco had to swallow hard to respond and make a concerted effort to guard himself.

"Fairly well" He replied emotionless.

"Oh" Sarah's mouth curled into a frown. "You look tired. Is there something wrong? Are you not feeling well?" Her heart skipped, realizing that something was definitely wrong.

Draco seemed almost torn for a moment before replying, "Nothing is wrong. Black" He nodded at her and began to pull away from her to move down the steps.

"Goodbye, Malfoy" Sarah responded and dropped his wrist and turned around to head into the owlery.

But as she took a step, she heard him call, "_Sarah_"

She stopped, squeezing her eyes shut for a brief moment at Draco using her first name- the first time he did so since they had broken up, before gathering her courage and turning back around. "Yes?"

"Is _that_ to Weasley?" he asked, stoically. When Sarah nodded he continued, "I see you reading his letters at breakfast" While he said it with his same emotionless tone, his expression was almost accusatory.

"How do you know it is from Fred?" Sarah asked, "They could be from anyone"

"Your face-" Draco stared at her. "You smile and laugh and re-read it. It has to be from Weasley" He paused before adding, "That didn't take you long"

"Why would you care?" Sarah shrugged. "You broke things off with me"

"I didn't expect you to run to Weasley so quickly" Draco responded stiffly. "Just don't act like you care about me still when you are falling into things with someone else"

"Draco!" Sarah reprimanded, quickly. She took a step down the two stairs towards him. "I do care about you. You think I can erase you from my memory that easily? I am having to work to move on" She reached to touch his arm lightly. "If there is something wrong, let me help you. We have been friends too long for us to just pretend like the past has not happened"

Draco remained still, but moved his arm slightly away from her, for she unknowingly touched him near his mark, causing his heart to jump. "_Nothing_ is wrong" he replied firmly. "Goodbye Black" He turned and continued down the steps as Sarah sat at the top of them, her letter falling to her lap and she buried her head in her hands, fighting to contain her emotions.

* * *

"Sarah" Snape snapped. "Pay attention"

Sarah stared at him and blinked. She rubbed her forehead as she tried to focus her attention on her uncle, who was sorting through her essays. "I'm sorry, sir. I didn't catch what you were saying"

"Your transfiguration essay- has it been returned?" Snape frowned slightly at her, not knowing if she was being flighty or if there was cause for concern.

"Yes, it wasn't in the pile I handed you?" she asked and Snape's frown deepened. "No"

Sarah reached for her bag that was by her feet and placed it on her lap. "It's here somewhere"

Sorting through it, she finally found the essay and walked over and gave it to him, but instead of letting her return to the coach, he motioned to the ottoman in front of him. "Sit"

He read over McGonagall's notes on her essay and placed it on top of the pile that was resting on his lap. He picked it up and spelled it back into her bag.

"Now, what's wrong?" he asked. "And before you give me the 'I don't know what you mean' talk, I know something is wrong. You were off in defense class today. Your practical work was far from up to par- mediocre in fact. Is your head really that distracted by your relationship with Mr. Weasley?…because if it is starting to affect your work, then I am going to limit the amount of communication between the two of you" Snape lectured sternly, but Sarah quickly reassured him. "It's not that, Uncle Sev. Really, it isn't…I'm just not sure I can talk to you about it"

"Really?" Snape folded his hands. "Then I think you must"

Sarah stared at her hands, rubbing her fingers absently. "I ran into Draco at the owlery today"

"I see" Sev responded, neutrally. "And was that…troublesome to you?"

She looked up from her hands to meet his gaze. "Draco looks tired. And older…more serious. I know we broke up- I get that, I really do…but, he and I have been friends since the first summer we spent at Snape Manor together…and I just can't get over this feeling that something is seriously wrong with him"

"Did you ask him about it?" Sev replied, carefully.

"Of course I did" she answered, "But he said nothing was wrong"

"Then you must believe him" Snape said. "You know that starting NEWT classes can be demanding and I don't believe this summer was particularly restful for him with Lucius's imprisonment…"

"I suppose you are right" Sarah responded slowly. "I just can't get the way he looked out of my mind" She paused before adding, "You would tell me if something is wrong with Draco, wouldn't you?"

Snape raised his eyebrow. "Would you like me telling Draco about all of your problems?"

Sarah groaned, knowing he was right. Snape continued, "You will remember what happens too, Black, when you stick your nose where it doesn't belong, right?" he tapped her leg. "You will do well to focus on you and leave Mr. Malfoy alone" he warned and Sarah knew that he was effectively telling her to mind her own business, which was in itself a cause for concern. What would she have to stay out of if nothing was truly wrong?

* * *

Despite of Sarah's worry over Draco's behavior, she was still excited when the time came for the first Hogsmeade visit- mainly because with it, brought Fred. She had missed him being at Hogwarts this year, but the letters almost made her feel closer to him than when he was here. She got up extra early that day to allow herself longer time to get ready. She wore jeans and a black shirt that scooped down just enough to not be considered completely modest, but not low enough that Snape would have a heart attack if he saw her. The day was supposed to be cooler, so she wrapped a lightweight purple scarf around her neck. She brushed through her shoulder length hair and put a sparkly purple barrette in it. She frowned slightly as she studied herself in the mirror. She wasn't huge by any means, but she wasn't completely slender like some of the other girls. It bothered her, especially when she wanted to look her best. She tried to remind herself that Fred had seen her plenty of times, and he must at least like some of the way she looked if he wanted to date her.

She was in the hall waiting for her friends when Snape discreetly pulled her into a nearby classroom.

"Here" Snape handed her some money. "I forgot to give you this last night, but I wanted you to have some spending money for your trip"

"Thanks, Uncle Sev" Sarah put the money in her bag and Snape took a look at her dress.

"Do you not think…." Snape inclined his head, "a turtleneck might be more appropriate for the weather?"

Sarah tried her hardest not to laugh. "Perhaps, but I'll be fine. See, I have a jacket in my bag?" She showed him her bag.

"Still" Severus crossed his arms. "You are pushing my standards for you"

"Pushing" Sarah walked over closer to him, "But not defying them. You have to let me grow up sometime" She kissed his cheek. "I love you"

"Be that as it may" Severus countered. "if you catch a cold, I'm not showing you any sympathy"

"I'll take my chances" Sarah responded. "Are we still having my lesson tonight?"

"Indeed" Snape replied. "I hope you have been practicing"

"I have" Sarah turned to leave. "Thanks again for the money. See you later"

"Have fun" Severus managed to ground out before she left. It amazed him that between her and Draco he didn't have more gray hair.

* * *

Sarah walked over with Ron, Harry, and Hermione and met Fred in front of the Three Broomsticks. When he saw her, he smiled widely at her as he greeted her and the others.

"Sarah, do you guys want to meet us back here for a drink in two hours?" Harry asked and Sarah turned to Fred and he nodded, so she replied that it sounded great. The others left and Fred turned to her. "So…"

"So…" Sarah smiled. "What now?"

"Well, maybe we should get out of the road" Fred answered seriously and Sarah swatted at him playfully.

"Brilliant" Sarah replied, teasingly. "What would I do without you?"

"You would be completely lost" Fred responded back at her. "Let's find a place away from everyone. If that is Ok" Sarah agreed and Fred and her began walking down the main street of Hogsmeade, looking for a quiet spot. As they walked, they chatted about their past days and Fred slid his hand into hers, his fingers entwining hers.

"Is this Ok?" he asked and Sarah's stomach fluttered, but she answered, "Yes, but no jokes if my hand gets sweaty"

"Hum" Fred replied. "Difficult to refrain myself with that one, but I will try" They found a bench in front of the stationary shop and sat down. Fred sensed her nervousness as he did at their dinner over the summer and he once again tried to comfort her, squeezing her hand gently. "Relax, Sarah" he said. "You aren't going to frighten me away…believe me, the way I was raised, there really wouldn't be anything you could do to scare me…Mum and Gin have prepared me for a lot"

"That's good" Sarah relaxed some. "By the way, I don't tell you this enough, but I really do love your family"

"We are pretty great" Fred responded seriously, playing with the ends of her scarf with his free hand. "I have a question for you, not to change the subject"

"And I probably have an answer" she said.

"From your letters" Fred began, squeezing her hand again, "it seemed that there was some thing off between you and Harry. Want to talk about it?"

Sarah wrapped her other hand around his. "I wouldn't say things are bad between me and Harry. He is just pressuring me to view things his way, that's all" She shifted somewhat uncomfortably.

"About somebody you feel you can't talk to me about?" Fred asked. "Go on"

Sarah gave him a smile. She loved that Fred was the person she could tell almost anything too. He had always been that way, but the past weeks with writing, they had definitely grown closer. "He thinks Draco has taken the Dark Mark" Sarah explained. "And I just don't think that is possible, though I know something is bothering him. He looks tired and worried. I asked Snape about it and he shut me down pretty quickly. I think something is wrong, but that? But Harry keeps talking about it. It's driving me crazy"

Fred frowned. "Draco taking the Dark Mark? That seems far fetched to me"

"I know, but Harry is pretty confident and the thing is, I _am_ worried about Draco" Sarah loosened her hand from his grip. "And then I feel guilty…"

Fred let go of her scarf to put his hands on her sides. "I want to know these things, Sarah. I want to know everything there is to know. If it is effecting you, then it is important"

"Well, what _I_ want you to know" Sarah put her hands on his shoulders and squeezed them, "is that I have enjoyed our letters. Seriously, I read them over and over…quite pathetic, I know…I think I might have a bit of a crush"

"Such a girl" Fred teased her, but moved her closer to him. "And I like that you have a crush on me. It's about time, you woke up and noticed"

Sarah giggled. "So now that you know, what are you going to do about it, Weasley?"

He leaned forward and for a moment, she was sure he was going to kiss her. And for a moment, he was also sure he was going to kiss her. But something stopped him and so he kissed her cheek instead before whispering into her ear, "your move, Sarah…when you are ready and when you are, you will feel something this time"

Sarah shivered slightly as she remembered their first kiss under the stars. They had decided then that there was nothing more than friendship and until this year, she didn't want anything other than that. But now, she knew that she did want him, but she had to wait until she was sure she was completely over Draco- for both of their sakes.

* * *

Sarah and Fred finished up their visit with some shopping and drinks with Ron, Harry and Hermione. The three backed away slightly to let Sarah say goodbye to Fred. She gave him a kiss on the cheek and stood on her toes to whisper in his ear, "your move again", but Fred shook his head. "Nope, still yours. Then I know it's for real" Sarah blushed and Fred winked at her, before saying goodbye and leaving her with her friends.

Sarah told the others of her visit with Fred on the way back to the castle, the boys teasing her over it. She was starting to feel like life was settling into normal again, when they heart screaming. They took off to see Katie Bell, arms and legs flailing in the air.

"Get help" Sarah turned to Harry. "Run, Quickly. And don't touch her. She's been cursed"

As she was giving directions, she gripped her wand tightly. Hermione asked Leanne what had happened and the girl pointed frantically to a package. Sarah and Hermione went over to study what lay open on the ground.

"Nobody touch it" Sarah instructed firmly, but as she scooped down to study it, she felt like she was going to sick up. She recognized the opal necklace. It was at the shop in Borgin and Burkes the day that the Malfoys visited it.

While waiting for help, she told herself over and over not to go there…yet. But she couldn't deny it much longer- she had to learn the truth about Draco, whatever that may be.

* * *

"Now do you believe me?" Harry pressed and Sarah rubbed her hands over her face. She had just gotten back from spending the night in Snape's quarters, and Harry, Ron and Hermione had met her in the common room as she walked through the portrait hole. "You saw him looking at that necklace in Borgin and Burkes too. You suspect Malfoy of something. What if Katie doesn't wake up?"

Sarah's face paled. "Draco wouldn't hurt someone like that. It could just be a coincidence that the necklace was from the shop"

"And what if he has become a Death Eater, Sarah? What then?" Harry responded, in a low voice.

"We can't just accuse him of being a Death Eater, Harry" Sarah replied. "Nobody will listen to you. You see how Snape reacted at your words"

Harry harrumphed. "Like that proves anything…" he muttered darkly. "He's a Death Eater himself"

Sarah's eyes grew wide and for a moment she felt like socking Harry right in the stomach, but at her look, Harry quickly uttered an apology, though it was not particularly heartfelt.

"But she's right, Harry" Hermione intervened. "We do need proof- before this goes any further"

"But Malfoy keeps covered up now a days" Ron said. "Have you noticed that he never shows his arms- always long sleeve shirts?"

"What does that prove?" Sarah groaned. "He is a proper pure-blooded wizard. Of course, he will dress impeccably for class. We don't see him where he wouldn't wear that type of dress"

"We have to find out the truth, Sarah" Harry insisted. "Lives depend on it now"

Sarah took a deep breath and wiped her sweaty palms on her pants as she remember Draco's look that day at the owlery and Katie Bell as she was flailing in the air. She began to feel sick again. "You're right. Something isn't right with Draco. I'll find out the truth- whatever that may be" Sarah shuddered and Harry sighed in relief- after weeks of pressuring her to pursue it more, she finally gave in.

"How will you do that?" Ron asked.

Sarah remained quiet, thinking. She thought of all the possible places she could see Draco alone and sneak a peek at his covered up arm. And there was only one place that she could think of. But it was an insane thought. Still if Draco was in trouble, then didn't he need her? His Slytherin friends would probably encourage Draco's Death Eater role, not convince him out of it. Maybe if she could figure out what he was doing and why, she could help him.

"Harry, I need to borrow your invisibility cloak" she finally said. "And Merlin help me, if I get caught, I'm expelled…and probably disowned"

Hermione's eyes grew wide. "What are you doing?"

Sarah took a breath. "Being Draco's former girlfriend, I know things about him. Private habits and such….he loves his routines, I think it was the way he was raised"

"Like?" Harry asked, curious.

"He prefers the prefect bathroom on the third floor- especially soaking in it after a quidditch match"

Hermione gasped. "Sarah, no-"

"Bloody hell, Sarah" Ron shook his head. "Do you have a death wish?"

"His arm would be exposed" Sarah argued. "And if I am under the invisibility cloak and sneak through the entrance with him, I should be alright"

"There would be charms" Hermione argued back. "They are all around to prevent kids from…you know…in those types of places"

"Being a Slytherin…" Harry said slowly. "The alerts would go to Snape first. In his office, right?"

Sarah nodded. "So you just have to keep Snape distracted for a few minutes. And maybe erase the alert somehow…or we can figure out how to undo the privacy charms. I'm good at that. I'm sure there is a book. Hermione, you still have your restricted pass?"

Hermione nodded. "I have actually seen charms like that in the restricted section. You could probably manage to undo them, you being so talented with charms"

"Great" Sarah replied. " I can sneak in and out under the invisibility cloak quickly. The lavatory is so big, Draco wouldn't notice"

"And if Draco catches you?" Hermione's voice squeaked. "Sarah, do you realize what he could do to you?"

Sarah's face turned cold. "Even if he has taken the mark, Draco Malfoy would not lay a hand against me"

"How can you be so sure?" Ron asked. "IF Harry is right and he was responsible for Katie, then he is capable of anything."

"I don't know" She responded. "I just know Draco…anyway, does anyone have a better plan?"

"B…but Sarah" Hermione sputtered. "He is a boy, with boy parts…what if he gets up suddenly or something?"

The boys grimaced at the thought and Sarah blushed fiercely. "I will look away of course…." She bit her lip. "Um, hopefully that won't happen…I didn't really think of that" Possibly seeing Draco undressed was too much for her to handle right now, especially since she had never seen a boy like that before. She knew she would look away while he was getting in, but whatever he did sudden movements? She tried to push away the thoughts. After all, she was 16 years old, practically of age. She should be able to handle that, right?

Harry went and sat next to her. "Are you prepared if Draco finds out and confronts you? Will you be able to handle him?"

Sarah raised an eyebrow. "Of course. Are you saying that I am not equally matched to Draco?"

"No, no…of course you are" Harry shook his head. "…magically, but not physically. So are you sure?" he asked quietly. "I don't want you risking yourself unnecessarily"

Sarah nodded abruptly. "Slytherin plays Ravenclaw on Saturday. I will plan for it then. At least I know Fred won't be coming to that match. Somehow I don't think he would understand our plan"

And the four of them grew silent, because they knew it was true. Sarah would go to great lengths, risking expulsion and Snape's wrath, to find out the truth—and also risking her relationship that she was building with Fred, and that bothered her greatly. She liked Fred- she could see them having a future together- lasting into adulthood. But this was Draco.

Sarah knew it was bold. She knew it was daring. She knew it was ridiculous to even think of doing such a thing. If she got caught, she would deserve expulsion and Snape's ire. She didn't want to do this, but she also knew that she _had_ to know if Harry was right. And she couldn't think of any other way. The only thing she didn't know is what she would do if Harry was proved right. For she knew if Draco had become a Death Eater, than Snape would have known about it, and remained silent to the Order. And that is where things were getting muddled in her mind. If Snape had known about this and kept silent, then what does _that_ mean?

**A/N**: oh dear…that's just bad...so questions remain: will she actually go through with her plan or come to her senses? And if she does, will Draco catch her? And…what will happen if Snape finds out? His reaction would sure to be epic. Stay tuned! And be kind and review.


	6. Revealed

**A/N: **A short chapter…but a quick update. I'm nervous about posting this chapter, but hopefully it works. Reviews, pretty please? Thanks to those who have taken the time to do so! And of course, I don't own...

**Chapter 6: Revealed**

"Try again" Severus commanded, eyes focused on her. "You _have_ to focus. You did much better last week"

"I am trying" Sarah protested, a slight stomp of her foot as she stared at her wand on the table.

"Try harder" Snape growled and Sarah groaned.

Snape was instructing her on wandless magic, trying to get her to successfully summon her wand. The thought was if Sarah's wand got taken or knocked away from her, she could summon it back and still have a fighting chance. Snape knew this could make the difference between capture or escape, life or death for her and was pushing her to succeed. So far she had been able to move her wand a few inches, but tonight she seemed to have regressed, much to Snape's displeasure.

"Accio Wand" Sarah focused her magical energy on her wand, but still it didn't move. Her face was flushed and she was beginning to feel nauseous. Snape was right- she was distracted, but it was for reasons he couldn't begin to fathom. She had two more days to learn to undo the privacy charms to get into the prefect's lavatory- two days until she learned the truth about Draco, by doing something she never in a million years thought she should ever do. She knew she was stepping over that line and that made her a bundle of anxiety- yes, she did have a conscious and no, she wasn't that type of girl…but she felt she had to learn the truth.

She groaned, taking off her sweater and throwing it on the coach. "It's no use, sir"

Snape frowned. "Try one more time"

"Can I take a quick break?" Sarah asked, as the contents of her stomach began to feel like it was rising up.

Severus nodded. "Alright" and Sarah retreated to her room to throw up her dinner.

When she came out of her lavatory after washing her face and brushing her teeth, she stopped in her tracks as she saw Snape sitting on her bed.

"In bed" Snape rose to turn back the covers for her and Sarah only mildly protested as she did feel like laying down might help.

Snape cast a diagnostic charm and looked puzzled. "I thought you might have a virus or something, but it says you are fine"

"That's strange" Sarah remarked, "because I did just totally lose my entire dinner"

Snape summoned a cool washcloth and put it on her head. "Are you anxious about anything?" he asked. "That can sometimes cause stomach troubles"

Sarah wanted to sick up again. "No, not particulary" she lied, for what was she going to say, "_yes, Uncle Sev, I am anxious. I'm going to spy on Draco while he is taking his bath and I might see him naked. And I could get caught and expelled- wouldn't that make you anxious?_" That would go over quite well with Snape…so instead, she lied.

Severus squeezed her shoulder. "Why don't you just rest here tonight then?" He leaned over to kiss her head before standing and straightening up. Before leaving he did add sternly, "Sarah, you aren't up to anything, are you? Because I would have hoped after the lessons of last year, you would have turned around. Just think about that before you do anything less than sensible"

Sarah nodded. "Thank you sir" But in her heart, she knew she couldn't just drop it. She just hoped he never found out because she knew it would test the limits of his patience and love for her. Would this finally push him over the edge? She wondered where she would go if Snape kicked her out, with her Dad dead. And then she realized she really didn't have anywhere to go and that scared her even more.

* * *

Sarah was shaking underneath the invisibility coat, leaning flush against the wall. She had been so nervous these past few days that she hadn't been able to eat much and then occasionally, she would throw up the little she did have to eat. She know that she had worked herself up over this and that should be a sign that she should forget about the whole bloody plan. Yet, here she was in the lavatory with Draco, closing her eyes tightly and trying not to sick up all over the place. She heard the sound of splashing in the water and she knew that Draco was probably in the tub now, underneath the bubbles he loved so much.

She tried to force herself to breathe more evenly and quietly, as she opened her eyes. Draco was in the tub, her back to her. _Perfect_.

"_Ok, one step forward_" Sarah coached herself. "_Just move your foot forward_"

She walked quietly toward him. Draco was leaning back in the tub, completely relaxed as his hands were behind his head.

The moment of truth. Sarah moved into a better angle and craned her eyes to see his forearm.

"_Please let nothing be there"_ Sarah thought. "_Prove the whole lot of them wrong. Please, Draco"_ Her mind was doing battle with her heart. This was her friend- the boy who comforted her when her mum died, fought with her endless times, defended her fervently, loved her with a sweetness that nobody would have thought possible. Her first boyfriend…The Draco she knew would never take the mark…or would he? She was about to find out.

* * *

"Severus" Dumbledore knocked on the door to his office. "We have a problem"

Snape looked up from the papers he was grading, annoyed to be disturbed. The Slytherin quidditch match had gone well, but he was tired and cranky, from some third years deciding to wander the halls in the middle of the night. "Which is?"

"The privacy charms in the prefect lavatory are not registering" Albus told him. "Since, your Mr. Malfoy was seen by the portraits headed in that direction, I thought you should know"

Snape's brow furrowed. "Not registering? How is that possible? I put those charms up myself. There is no way that they could have been tampered with"

Albus raised an eyebrow. "Yes, it seems unlikely, but Draco being your godson, I figured you would want to investigate. It wouldn't be the first time this year he has been caught in a compromising position""

"Indeed" Severus groaned at the memory. "The boy is out of control with anxiety and holding on to anything that can make him feel less miserable- and Parkinson is only too happy to oblige him. He swears they haven't done more than snogging, but it is headed there"

"Well, you know children these days" Albus waved his hand. "However, Mr. Malfoy's charm work wouldn't be able to tamper with your privacy charms on the lavatory. Actually, there would probably be only one or two students able to do it…"

Severus jumped up. "One being Black" He began to stalk towards the door, but Dumbledore grabbed his arm, restraining him.

"Do you think that thought would even cross her mind to do something like that?" Albus questioned him, soothingly. "Maybe some girls…"

"Oh no, Headmaster" Snape growled. "Not for that reason. But to find out the truth about Malfoy? I wouldn't put it past her. Excuse me"

"I'm sure that is not what you will find" Albus responded. "But if you do, I think I may wait for you in your quarters in case my intervention is needed"

"Let's hope it doesn't come to that" Snape replied, stiffly. "Because if it is her, she will regret the day she ever agreed to my guardianship of her"

"Be gentle with her, Severus" Albus reminded him, but Snape slammed the door to his office, headed in the direction of the third floor lavatory.

* * *

She crouched down to angle herself to look at Draco's forearm. A pitiful moan escaped before Sarah could stifle it. She covered her mouth and she bit her lip through as she witnessed the dreaded mark on his forearm. It was raised and inflamed and looked like it must still hurt. Ugly and sinister, it was the sign that branded Draco to Voldemort.

"_Oh Draco no_" Sarah felt as if she had been punched in the stomach. "_How could you do this_? She didn't know whether to be blazing mad or break down in tears for her former boyfriend. But she did know that she had to get out of here before she did either and got caught. She needed time and space to process what she had just seen.

Slowly, Sarah turned to tiptoe away. She was about to reach the door, when a hand grabbed her and an arm tightened around her neck, holding her in place. She gasped for breath as the invisibility cloak fell to the ground during the struggle that ensued. It happened so fast and so unexpected it took her a few moments before she could choke out in panic, "Draco stop!"

The arm slackened considerably, allowing her to breathe. "Stay where you are and do not move" Draco's voice was hardened and Sarah obeyed.

Draco went over to the side of the tub to fling a towel around him, tying it firmly at his waist, before going to back and with rough hands, turning her around and shoving her against the wall.

"I cannot believe that you would do this. This is low" Draco growled at her. "How dare you?" He shook her. "How dare you, Black?"

Even though she was ashamed of what she did, Sarah found her voice and fought back. "I was trying to prove that Harry was wrong about you…that you weren't one of Voldemort's minions. I believed that you were honorable. I believed you were good!"

She flung herself out of Draco's grasp to grip his arm tightly, twisting it to expose the Dark Mark and shove it back in his face.

"But this is what I found!" She breathed heavily. "So don't…don't act like I am the bad guy here…when you are….are…." She panted, backing up into the wall.

"Go ahead and say it, Sarah" Draco stepped forward to grip her face in his hands, forcing her to look at him. "What am I?" He squeezed her face. "_Say it_"

Sarah saw the anger in his eyes, but also the hurt and the shame. And it deflated her anger and tore her heart into pieces. She blinked through the tears. "I can't say it, Draco" she finally whispered. They were silent before Sarah spoke again, "Why? How? When?"

Draco released her, his anger also gone when he saw her tears. He walked back to sit on the steps that led up to the tub, his head in his hands and Sarah leaned back against the wall. He rubbed his face with his hands and finally lowered them to look up at her.

"This summer after we broke up. And the whys don't really matter" Draco told her.

"I don't accept that" Sarah responded. "The whys do matter. They matter a whole lot"

"My father failed in his mission. Therefore, I was given a mission and an impossible one at that" Draco slumped forward. "And no, before you ask, I'm not telling you. You are already in too much knowing as it is"

Sarah went to sit next to him on the steps. "Do you believe in what Voldemort is?"

Draco sighed. "I don't know. Do I believe that he is going to succeed? Yes. Do I want to be on the side that wins? Absolutely"

"Even if it is the wrong side?" Sarah's voice was soft.

"You bloody Gryffindors" Draco muttered. "Always right and wrong. Black and white"

"There is such a thing as honor" Sarah told him and Draco laughed.

"This coming from the woman who snuck into a lavatory invading my privacy, seeing me naked…"

Sarah held up her hand to stop him. "I didn't see you naked, Draco. I did look away" she was indignant.

"Excuse me" Draco responded, almost bitterly. "I forgot. Sweet, innocent Sarah Black. She would never dare do such a thing…but you _did_ come and you _did_ see what you wanted to see- thought it was my arm and not other more" His look moved from bitter to mischievous, "intimate parts of me"

Sarah blushed, but ignored his comment. "I never wanted to see that _thing_ on your arm, Draco" Sarah stared his mark. "I never thought it would actually be there"

"So why did you come?" Draco asked. "Potter pressuring you?"

"No…well, no and yes" Sarah replied, looking back up at his face. "But it was more because of you that I came"

"Me?" Draco turned her towards him, his voice full of emotion. "You don't care about me…not anymore at least and I'm not sure if you ever have"

Sarah squeezed her eyes shut as she swallowed the lump in her throat. "That's not true" she said, her voice hoarse.

"It is" he countered. "You would walk through fire…you have walked through fire to protect Potter. And what have you done for me? I broke up with you and you were fine with it! You moved on"

"You are being unfair" she argued back. "I wasn't fine with it. Snape had to give me calming drought in my tea I was so worked up. I cried myself to sleep many nights. I loved you"

Draco looked stricken by her words. "Loved as in past tense?"

Sarah took a deep breath. "I'm not sure" she replied honestly.

"See?" Draco picked a piece of lint off his towel and threw it across the room. "Everything is hopeless. You are falling out of love with me. I am at the mercy of the Dark Lord, who would love nothing more than for me to fail. What do I have left? I am 16 years old and it is practically over for me"

"Draco, no" Sarah scooted closer to him, raising a tentative hand to his face. She rubbed the unshaven stubble on his cheeks, marveling at how she had never seen Draco like this before. "We can figure it out. If you don't want this, we can figure out a way…Dumbledore"

"Don't say his name!" Draco cringed and jerked away from him and Sarah dropped her hand in shock.

"Alright" Sarah responded, worried. "Just tell me what you need. Please, Draco" And in that moment, she wasn't sure her love was past tense. She wanted to help him so badly to take away the hurt and despair. She had always seen him as so overly confident, so in control of everything.

Draco stared at her intent face, his heart beating fast. His eyes wandered down her and back up to her face again. "I need you"

Sarah stilled at the intimate expression he was giving her, and became suddenly aware that he was dressed only in a towel. "Draco…I…um…I can't" she fumbled, but Draco reached for her and pulled her in his arms.

Before Sarah could register what was happening, he kissed her, with passion that had been stored up for the past few months.

She pulled away to look at him. Her mind was spinning, uncertain of what was happening, caught up in the emotions. Draco reached to smooth down her hair and trace the edge of her face with his fingers, before pulling her back to him. He kissed her again, coaxing her mouth open and digging his hands into her hair.

His closeness made her senses feel like they were going to explode. His smell carried her back to when they were dating and if she could remember nothing else except him…and them. She kissed him back and Draco was moved into deeper passion with her response. It was as if he needed her to forget about Voldemort and his impossible mission and the more he kissed her, the more he felt secure again.

Sarah wrapped her arms around his neck and he dragged her down the three steps with him and onto the floor.

Things were moving at lightening speed now and it seemed like her mind would never be able to catch up with her senses, until she felt Draco undo the buttons to her shirt and the cool air against her stomach, as his hands explored freely. She sat up suddenly.

"Draco, I don't…" Her voice catching, dismay evident. "What are we doing?"

"Please Sarah" Draco kissed her again, this time gently, more reflective of his actions when they were dating. They were both sitting up now and he had his arms around her. "We don't have to go any further…I just need to be close to you"

"I don't even know what further means" Sarah admitted. "Not really. I mean, I know…but I don't _know_. Oh, what are we doing?" She tried to back away from him, but Draco held her against him tightly.

"I'm sorry" he whispered, once again mindful of her innocence- perhaps due to Snape's constant sheltering. "I would never go further if you didn't want too…we just got carried away. You're ok. We didn't go that far"

"I know" Sarah replied. "It's ok" Her mind tried to wrap itself around the situation and it kept going back to one place. _Fred_. What did she do? She was ruining everything that she spent that past few weeks building. And what did this make her? She began to feel sick again as guilt consumed her.

And then a voice lurched her mind in another truly horrifying direction and she had to frantically swallow back the bile that rose to the top of her throat.

"Black, if you think this is even close to being ok, you are _sorely_ mistaken" Snape's voice unleashed fury that he didn't even bother to contain and Sarah felt like she wanted to die.

_Caught…In the prefect lavatory…with Draco….shirt open…oh, please say this was a dream…_

But Sarah knew that she couldn't be that fortunate.

A/N: From bad to worse…any suggestions of what Snape should do? I'm open to ideas. And I hope that I didn't make Sarah too much of an unsympathatic character here, but she does make mistakes, usually with good intentions, through she definitely crossed a line here…but she is still learning & I'm sure Snape will set her straight, quickly! And yes, poor Fred! And for that matter, poor Draco too…


	7. Parenting

**Chapter 7**: **Parenting**

"Malfoy, my room. Black, your room. Go" Severus snapped at them the moment they walked into his private quarters. Dumbledore looked up from his spot on the coach and frowned.

Sarah knew that she was in terrible trouble right now. When would she ever learn how to behave properly? The look on Snape's face when he caught them in the lavatory was so unguarded- a mixture of disgust, anger, and shock. When Snape failed to guard his emotions, Sarah knew she was in for it, not that she could blame him. Seeing her like that with Draco, must have been terrible for him.

Snape had allowed her to right her clothing and Draco to get dressed before hauling them back to his quarters. Still she found the courage to speak, "Uncle Sev, if you would just listen…I know it looked bad, but really…we didn't do anything, I swear to you"

"Enough, Sarah" Snape glared at her. "After having me for 6 years as your guardian, you should know by now when to speak and when it is in your best interest to shut your mouth. You will have your chance to speak later-when I feel like I can control myself enough to talk to you" He hovered over her. "If you insist on speaking now, I will not be held responsible for what I do. So, go…otherwise I might be tempted to employ some discipline techniques that your grandfather used on me"

Sarah gulped and tried to fight back the hurt- there was only a few times she had seen Snape like this, and none had been recently. "Ok" She glanced at Draco and he nodded at her as she went to take sanctuary in her room.

Snape breathed deeply, trying to contain his fury. Dumbledore approached him cautiously. "What happened, Severus?"

"Let's sit" He said as he sunk into his chair, running his hand through his hair. He breathed again and focused on clearing his mind. Dumbledore took a seat again, giving him the time he needed. Finally, he looked up. "Both Black and Malfoy were in the lavatory. Draco's arm was exposed so I can only assume that Sarah took down the charms to spy on him and was caught. But when I found them, Malfoy was holding her dressed only in a towel and Sarah's clothes were disheveled and her shirt unbuttoned."

"Really? Dumbledore was shocked. "Do you think they had sex?"

Severus grunted and shook his head. "It didn't appear they had gotten that far. And from the bit of conversation I overheard before allowing them to know my presence, it seems that Sarah was the one to stop it from going further."

"And you think Draco would have continued?" Dumbledore asked and Severus grimaced at the thought of his girl losing her virginity in that way. "Absolutely, he has come close with Parkinson and Sarah is the girl that he loves. I just can't believe that Sarah put herself in this situation to begin with. Didn't she know what it could have easily led to?"

"Maybe it does her credit that after all she has been through that she still thinks the best of people" Dumbledore offered, before adding gravely, "You are aware that her actions are grounds for expulsion. I don't wish to, but perhaps it would be the best course of action"

"No" Severus replied adamantly. "It would affect her future plans of becoming a professor and I will not allow that to happen. And then, you must think, Headmaster, if you expel her, she will have no incentive not to tell about Draco, which would affect our plans and put Narcissa and him both in danger"

"Then what do you suggest?" Albus asked, folding his hands. "I am open to alternative options"

"Threaten her with expulsion if she tells Draco's secret" Severus suggested. "And let me handle the rest of her discipline."

"Before I agree, would you mind telling me what you have in mind?"

"More of the usual" Snape replied dryly, before crossing his arms against his chest, "with one exception"

"Which is?" Albus prompted.

"She will tell Wealsey about what she has done" Severus responded darkly. "That is perhaps the harshest punishment I can think of, but one that undoubtedly fits the crime"

Albus was silent for a few moments, contemplating what he said. When he spoke, it was with a weariness that was unusual for the headmaster but becoming more common with his illness, "That's unusually cruel, don't you think?"

"I won't have her making the same mistakes I made" Snape argued, rising and sweeping across the room in agitation. "My life could have been so different if I hadn't been consumed by my guilt…I could have had Lily"

"Perhaps" Dumbledore replied. "Perhaps not. But regardless, you have to make sure you aren't projecting your past onto Sarah"

"She has to tell him, Headmaster" Snape countered. "She will drive him away, thinking she doesn't deserve him and when I am forced to murder you, who is she to turn to? Better to face it head on, when I am here to intervene"

Albus didn't try to hide his smile. "Even when you are mad enough to strangle her, you still show your care for her in every action. How far you have come, Severus!" He stood and placed a hand on his shoulder. "And how proud I am to know you"

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Albus" Snape snapped as he shrugged him off. "And I am still mad at her. She and I are going to have quite the discussion, when I can feel like I can look at her without remembering the sight of her half dressed in Malfoy's arms"

Dumbledore chuckled. "Perhaps it is best to remember that she isn't eleven anymore. Children explore these things…it is only natural"

Severus raised his eyebrow. "Not for _my_ child. Not until she is married and at least 30" Then he groaned. "Although, after you force me to kill you, I don't think I will ever be able to see that day, now will I?"

"Severus" Albus chided him. "She will understand one day and she will perhaps love you more for it, though the process of getting through it might be difficult"

"It will bloody well be impossible and you know it" Severus glared at him.

Albus held up his hands. "Don't turn your anger onto me, my boy. Which one of your wayward charges will you deal with first?"

"Most decidedly Draco" Severus replied. "I don't mind if he sees my anger. In the meantime, why don't you arrange to have Mr. Weasley come to my quarters?"

"You really are determined to go through with that punishment, aren't you?" Albus shook his head as he walked to the door. "Please reconsider"

"I have made up my mind. Tell Weasley to be here at 7. Best to get it over with instead of having Sarah anticipate it for several days. I'm not _that_ cruel" Severus headed to his room. "Thank you, Albus" he said and despite of what she did, the Headmaster couldn't help but feel sorry for Sarah.

* * *

"Uncle Sev" Draco rose as soon as he came into the room. "It really looked worse than it was"

Severus held up his hand to stop him from talking further. "Sit back down Draco" Draco sat down and Severus sat across from him.

"I have one question for you" Snape's voice was stern and unyielding. "If Sarah hadn't told you that she wanted to stop, would you have had sex with my niece?"

Draco gulped as he knew this look that Snape was giving him well. He was definitely mad. And the fact that he referred to Sarah as his niece was also a bad sign- it was personal. So Draco tried desperately to do damage control with his godfather and Head of House. "You don't understand what it is like. She is beautiful and all I have ever wanted. And she came to me…she spied on me. She started this"

"I am well aware of what Sarah's role in this is" Severus responded. "And she will be dealt with accordingly. You didn't answer my question, Draco"

"Of course I would have" Draco replied, finally. "What boy wouldn't have in my situation? She makes me feel things that nobody else can. She makes me feel like I'm not a Death Eater and that I do have future- something that has been taken away from me the minute the Dark Lord branded me"

Severus gripped him by the shirt and pulled him up. "This is not all about you, Draco. I understand that you are going through challenges right now- you have been dealt a bad hand, for sure. But suppose you had slept with her? What if she had gotten pregnant?"

Draco snorted. "Is that what you are worried about? Another child for you to take care of? It's unlikely that she would have…and even if she did, the child would be a Malfoy- my child; he would be set for life"

Severus lost his temper. He spun him around and pushed him against the door. "No, not yours." He shook him fiercely. "Get it through your head. The Dark Lord controls you. Do you really think the Dark Lord would let Sarah have your child?"

Draco's face whitened and Severus let him go and took a few steps back, trying to get his temper under control. "But that is besides the point, Draco. I want to know what _did _happened. I know my niece…and I know she would have not initiated such intimate contact with you- so what happened? How did she end up with you like that on the floor?"

"Would you have ever thought that she would have spied on a boy having a bath?" Draco asked evenly. "she is not a little girl anymore…she may not act in the ways that you think she should act"

Severus scowled at him. "so, you are telling me that Sarah is responsible for all of it?"

"No" Draco finally responded. "I kissed her first"

"Just as I thought" Severus stepped back into his space, towering over him. "She is innocent, Draco. The way you behaved towards her is completely unacceptable"

"I wouldn't have gone through with it if she didn't want it" Draco argued. "But regardless, I love her. I want to be with her- in every way. And I know she loves me back. And as for her innocence, maybe you are sheltering her too much."

"Oh so you can justify that maybe if she wasn't so innocent that you could have sex with her? I think not" Severus fought the urge to throttle him. " Listen to me. You can't have her" Snape growled. "Not in that way. Not in _any_ way. Get her out of your mind. Let her go"

"I never asked to be a Death Eater" Draco replied, leaning against the door. "It's bloody unfair"

"Well, I never asked to make the unbreakable vow with your mother to protect you . Do you know what that means for me Draco? Do you even care?" Snape stepped forward gripped his arms tightly, pulling him to stand upright. "If you can't go through with your task, I have to do it for you and if I break that vow, then I die. Do you know what that means?"

Draco stared at him defiantly. "So you will lose her too. Since you convinced me to take the mark, I think that is only far"

"You had no choice, Draco" Severus responded. "Do not blame me. If you want to blame anyone, blame your father"

"I do blame him" Draco replied quietly. "And I am sorry for what happened with Sarah. But again, she started it by invading my privacy."

"I know" Severus replied. "And believe me, she will be punished for it. And she will not tell about your allegiance to anybody. I make sure of it. But still, you will leave her alone, do you understand me?" Draco glared at him, but managed to nod in response.

"Good. Now you are confined to the Slytherin common room for the next two weeks. Do not let me catch you in any compromising position again, do you understand?"

"Yes sir" Draco grounded out and Severus dismissed him. But as Draco opened the door to leave, Severus stopped him.

"Draco, even though I am very upset about what I saw, I'm sorry I lost my temper with you. You know that I never wish to discipline out of anger. You are my godson and I do care for you. You know that"

"Yeah, I know that" Draco responded. "Doesn't make it any easier"

He turned and left. Severus was sorry for the strain between himself and his godson, but knew that it was natural with what Draco was going through. He just hoped that one day they could restore the relationship they had before Draco entered the Dark Lord's service.

* * *

Sarah sat cross legged on her bed, tapping her wand absently on her bedspread, trying not to lose control of herself. After Snape sent her to her room, she had gone to wash her face and change her clothes, not wanting to wear the same clothes that she had worn before. Silly, really, but it had made her feel better. She brushed and braided her hair before settling down on her bed to await her punishment. She knew Snape was furious and she knew that it was going to take a lot for him to understand. And then he wasn't sure if he would ever. Snape was making her wait a long time and that was never a good sign.

Finally, he knocked on her door and swept into the room. Sarah continued to absently move her wand in her hands as Snape pulled up a chair from her desk and sat it next to the bed. Her stomach began to churn once again as Snape sat down and watched her.

"Let me have your wand" Snape said, when he finally spoke. Sarah handed it over without argument and Snape placed it on her dresser.

"I told you earlier that I would give you a chance to let you speak" Snape began in a low voice, "so I'm listening, but I want the whole story that led you to what I saw…all of it, understand?"

Sarah's face flushed, but she dived in. She told Snape about how she saw Draco at Borgin and Burkes at the start of term, how Harry was convinced Draco had taken the mark, how she defended Draco to Harry and her friends, but when Katie Bell was cursed, she knew she had to get to the truth.

"So, this was the only plan I could think of" Sarah stopped and closed her eyes. "It was a good plan"

Snape finally interrupted her. "A good plan?" he choked out, glaring at her. "A plan that would involve you spying on a boy taking a bath? Possibly seeing him undressed? Getting you expelled?" he was shocked at her words. "How could you ever think that is a good plan?"

"Good as it accomplished what it was meant to accomplish" Sarah clarified. "And look, I know it was wrong…but you know what else is wrong?" her voice became accusatory, temper flaring at Snape's superiority. "How about _you_?"

Snape cleared his throat. "Excuse me?"

"I don't believe that you have alerted the Order to the fact that Voldemort has taken one of your Slytherins as a Death Eater and tasked him with a mission, or did I just miss that?" Sarah's voice shook. The moment the words were out, she regretted them.

Severus's response was immediate. He pulled her up off the bed to stand in front of him, his face in hers. "How I choose to perform my duties as a spy is not to be questioned by you, do you understand?" His grasp tightened on her arm until Sarah winced in pain. "Change your tactics, Black, because they are not earning you any lenience" He growled at her as he released her arm.

Sarah sat back down on her bed, leaning over to rest her head on her knees, ashamed at the way she spoke to Snape. "I'm sorry, Dad, I didn't mean it. I know you are doing the best you can with the situation you have been given" She hesitated as she turned her head so she could speak. "It's ok that I just called you Dad, right?" She felt so insecure at that moment with all that had happened that day. "I'm not doing it just to earn sympathy- I really do feel bad for what I did and what I said"

"Of course it is alright. We will talk more of it later" Snape swiftly assured her as reached forward to nudge her head up. "But for now, lift your head and continue with your explanation, Sarah. I assume you learned how to tamper with the privacy charms"

Sarah continued with her story telling Snape how she learned how to undo the privacy charms, how she followed Draco into the bath, how she closed her eyes to make sure she did not seem him undressed.

"At least you had enough sense to do that" Snape muttered. "So, how did Draco find you?"

"I made a noise when I saw the mark" Sarah admitted. "I was turning to leave and he grabbed me from behind. When he learned it was me, he stopped and we talked about what I saw"

Severus shifted in his chair, before reaching over to place a steady hand on her knee. "How did you go from talking to your shirt half open on the floor with him?" He asked, fighting to maintain a neutral tone.

"Dad!" Sarah protested and jumped off her bed to try to get away from this awkward conversation, but Severus reached for her arm and pulled her back down onto her bad.

"I said _everything_, Sarah Grace, including that" Severus told her firmly tapping her on the knee. "What happened?"

"I…"Sarah struggled visibly to respond, before shrugging her shoulders in defeat. "I don't know" she answered, her throat dry and face paling.

Severus raised an eyebrow. "You don't know?" he asked incredulously, but in viewing her expression, he stopped. "Ok, so let me try to help you figure it out…did you initiate?"

"No, Draco kissed me" Sarah replied, a blush returning to her features. "He said he need me to help him"

"And did you just decided to go along with it?" Severus asked, unable to keep the sarcasm out of his tone. "To be helpful?"

"No, I care about Draco" Sarah buried her head in her hands. "Look, it just happened- I know you want an explanation, but I don't have one….one minute we were on the steps" She swallowed hard, "and the next minute he was undoing my shirt…" She felt her tears on her hand as she tried to wipe them away.

Severus stood and moved to turn his back to her, hands on her dresser, trying to contemplate where to go next. He was so unprepared for this conversation…

Sarah watched Severus turn his back on her and her heart sunk. He couldn't even look at her anymore.

She cried harder and in between the tears, she tried to explain more, "I know you are disappointed. I'm disappointed. I've ruined everything! Fred and I are practically dating. I've become a cheater!" She groaned. "The feelings were just so intense and I kissed him back. I didn't intend for it to happen. It just did… But I wouldn't have let Draco go further. You have to believe me…I know it looked like we were going to have sex, but I wouldn't have. I swear to you. Please believe me"

Severus stiffened at her words, but at least she was showing a genuine understanding of the implications of her actions. That was at least progress. And despite of the anger and disappointment, he turned around and moved to sit next to her, putting a secure arm around her shoulders. He squeezed her and Sarah dropped her head on his shoulder. "I do believe you, Sarah" Snape said quietly and she sighed in relief.

"But" Severus told her firmly. "it remains to be seen if Mr. Weasley will believe you"

Sarah wiggled out of Snape's arms, to back up on her bed and stare at him. "Wait, what? He's never going to find out about this. He can't"

"He will" Snape said, tone steady. "You will tell him. It's part of your punishment"

"NO!" Sarah jumped off the bed and spun around to face him. "I won't tell him this. I can't. This is none of your business to make me tell him, Snape. I won't do it" She turned around and smacked her hand against the wall, the echo vibrating across the room.

Snape rose slowly from his place on her bed and walked to her. Gently, he turned her back around. "It's not up for negotiations, Sarah. He will be here at 7. You will tell him what happened then. It has been arranged"

"I can't" Sarah's voice was hoarse. "I will write hundreds of essays, I will be grounded until I'm 30…you can expel from school, but I cannot see Fred's face when I tell him what I have done. Please, he's so kind and I am truly a horrid person for doing this…I'll lose him"

"Well, you will still have to write those essays and you are still grounded for many weeks…and you will be expelled if you breathe a word about Draco's position as a death eater to anyone- we will go over the particulars of it later" Snape squeezed her arms. "But you will also tell Fred. I'm determined that you will do this. Taking responsibility for your actions means making amends with the injured parties. And Fred falls into that category"

Snape rubbed her head, tenderly. Though he was angry, he understood that she needed help accepting the terms of her punishment. He also understood how vulnerable she must be feeling right now…and how much she desperately needed his guidance.

"But you also need to decide before he comes how you feel about him…and how you feel about Draco. Leading either of them on is unfair and is a poor reflection on your character. Make the choice"

Sarah went back to sit on her bed, pulling one leg up against her and folding the other one underneath her. She rested her chin on her knee. "Do you have any advice for me?"

"Only this" Severus sat in the chair across from her. "Draco is a Death Eater. This war could last several years. If you choose to be with Draco, you will be brought into the fold. There is no escaping it"

"But Narcissa has been able to be married to Draco's dad and not become a death eater" Sarah argued.

"It's different" Severus shook his head. "Narcissa also turned a blind eye to what Lucius has had to do as a Death Eater. You would never be able to do that, and regardless, the Dark Lord won't let you do so. And once in, I can't protect you, Sarah" He paused, "but if you don't care for Fred in that way, you shouldn't be in a relationship with him either…only you can decide. Even though you are only 16 and far too young for a serious relationship, this war will cause you to grow up quicker than I would like. While my tendency is to shelter you as much as possible from the implications of this fight, I know that soon you will be fighting an adult war with Harry, and I assume that with adult responsibility, adult relationships would follow naturally. I have had to accept that" He reached and patted her knee. "Although, I think it is horrendously unfair to you that you will be thrown into adulthood like this"

Sarah nodded. "After Draco and I did what we did, the only thing I could think of, that is before you arrived, was Fred. The thought of me hurting him…I will always be fond of Draco for what we have shared, but I want to try to move on with Fred. I could see us having a future- getting married, having kids, fighting against Voldemort together…he is the kind of man I would want to marry. That is if he forgives me"

Severus leaned forward and kissed her head. "For what it is worth, I think this is a good decision…and I know it is hard, but believe me when I tell you, secrets in relationships destroy the relationship"

"I think it will be one of the hardest things ever" Sarah said. "I'm not sure I'm brave enough to do it"

Snape gave her a small smile. "Oh, I think those Gryffindor tendencies will come in handy when you need them the most" He grasped her hands. "I do want you to know that while I am disappointed in your action, I appreciate your honestly today. And whatever happens with Mr. Weasley, I'm here to help you through it"

"Really?" Sarah squeezed his hands. "Even after seeing me like that with Draco? I seriously thought you would tell me to pack my bags- that you were done"

"Oh no" Snape responded dryly. "That would be too easy for you"

Sarah's eyes met his. "No, I think the worst thing that could ever happen to me would be to lose you"

Severus found it difficult to swallow past the lump in his throat, fighting against his emotions when he knew in his heart that day was coming and soon. "Well, you don't need to worry about that, Sarah Grace. I'm your Dad. I will always be your dad…no matter what it might seem like" He pulled her up and hugged her tightly and Sarah leaned against him, grateful for having a guardian like Snape. He knew and understood her so well- better than anyone else in this world.

* * *

Fred arrived promptly at 7 and Snape let him in. Sarah was sitting on the couch, trying to not break down in a flood of tears. She was so nervous and felt horrible for what she had done. How do you go about confessing to something like this?

"I'll be in the other room" Snape leaned down to squeeze Sarah's shoulder, a steady look at her white face. In that moment, Sarah knew that Snape did understand what she was feeling and she found her courage in that.

"What's going on?" Fred asked when Snape left. "Dumbledore said you had to see me- that it was important. Are you ok?" He searched her face. "You look terrible. What happened?"

Sarah's throat was dry and she reached to take a sip of water. "Sit down, Fred" Her stomach felt like it was going to stage a revolution, but she took another sip of her water and willed herself not to sick up.

Fred sat next to her and they turned to face each other. "I did something, Fred" Sarah began.

"From Snape's expression, it seemed like it must have been pretty bad. But it couldn't have been any worse than what George and I used to do. Just tell me what happened" Fred reached for her hand, but Sarah pulled hers away.

"I think it would be easier if you weren't so nice to me" Sarah told him and Fred put his hands on his knees and leaned forward. "Ok, now you are kind of scaring me…and that is saying something coming from me. What did you do?"

Sarah shifted and put one leg underneath her as she stared at the couch cushions. "You know how I told you Harry suspected Draco of being a Death Eater?"

"Of course" Fred replied. "You were really quite frustrated about it the last time we talked"

"And Harry swears he remembers seeing Draco look at the necklace in the shop at Borgin and Burkes…the same necklace that cursed Katie…so I felt like we had to find out the truth…one way or another"

"Sounds reasonable" Fred nodded at her. "So what did you do?"

Sarah took a deep breath as her face grew red. "I sneaked into the prefects lavatory while Draco was taking a bath to see if I could see the dark mark"

Fred didn't respond and Sarah could tell he was processing what he told her. Still his silence was too much for her to handle.

"Say something" she managed to say.

Fred wiped his palms on his knees. "I don't know whether I should be bloody proud of you or completely pissed at you right now, Sarah"

Sarah voice cracked. "Proud?"

Fred looked at her and shook his head in wonder. "Do you know how often George and I tried to get into that lavatory to play jokes on the Slytherin Prefects? We could never figure out how to get around the privacy charms, but we are not gone even a year, and you did it. You are brilliant"

"Um" Sarah frowned. "Thanks…I think" She shifted uncomfortably at his reaction.

"Oh don't get me wrong. I'm going bonkers thinking of you watching Malfoy in his bath" Fred groaned, frustrated. "Did you even think about that? Did you see him naked?" He watched her expression carefully. "Tell me you didn't"

"No, of course not" Sarah replied quickly, "I looked away"

"Ok, so really no harm done" Fred sighed in relief. "Did you find anything?"

"I'm sworn to secrecy" Sarah answered. "I will get expelled if I tell you what happened in that regard"

"Meaning Malfoy took the mark?" Fred reached and touched her face. "That must have been really tough for you, Sarah. I'm sorry"

Sarah tried to stop a sob from escaping. "Stop being nice to me" She averted her gaze as she managed to choke out. "We kissed, Fred"

"What?" Fred dropped his hand. "What do you mean?"

"It just happened" Sarah rubbed her hands over her forehead and cheeks before resting them behind her neck. "One minute we were talking and the next, we were kissing. Things got out of hand, quickly"

"I see" Fred rose and turned his back to her. When he turned back around to her, his face was white. "You have to tell me the truth or I am going to think the worst…What does out of hand mean? Did you…did you sleep with him?"

"No" Sarah got up from the coach to stand closer to him. "I stopped it before it got that far."

"So how far is far?" Fred asked, seriously.

Sarah grimaced. "Must you know that?"

"If you want to be completely honest then I think you should be completely honest…" he said, with an edge that she rarely seen before. "How far is far?"

"Draco and I just kissed, Fred. And I stopped him when he unbuttoned my shirt and started to…." Sarah felt sick, but forced herself to continued. "Not far for most people our ages, but farther than I have ever gone before and definitely enough to make me regret what we did"

"I want to kill him" Fred said, fists balled. "How could he disrespect you like that? You aren't even dating him now, but you have dated him. So he knows that you haven't done that before. The little prat. I know what he wanted to do to you- that much is obvious. "

"It isn't entirely Draco's fault" Sarah reminded him as she tugged at a braid absently, agitated. "I kissed him back. And then Snape caught us…"

"Snape caught you?" Fred was distracted by this new development. "With your shirt open? Oh, I'm sure he loved that one"

"Yeah, I think it was a shining moment in his guardianship of me" Sarah responded sarcastically as she plopped back on the coach. "I'm really sorry, Fred. I know this hurts you and I feel terrible. You are truly too good for me. There are words for girls like me"

"And those words will never be spoken about you in my presence…even by you" Fred replied firmly as he walked back and sat down next to her. He turned her around to face him. "Understand me?"

"I know you are content to make Draco the bad guy here, but you can't believe me to be completely innocent in it" Sarah argued. "I did act wrongly. We are practically dating and that makes me a cheater which makes me.a…"

"Enough" Fred silenced her. "It's not true. What happened with you and Malfoy isn't the girl I grew up with- the girl I want to date…I'm not going to lie to you. I am hurt and angry, because I thought we were finally reaching a point where you felt something more than just friends… but I am not going to sit here and allow you to beat yourself up over it. Or feel guilty about it for the next fifty years. You don't owe me that- after all, we weren't officially dating" Bitterness crept up in his tone, and Sarah's shoulders slumped forward in defeat.

"But you know that we were a lot more than just friends…and I do owe you" Sarah whispered. "I owe you a lot more. You have been the most wonderful friend to me…and I'm so sorry" The guilt and anxiety was so evident in her look that Fred's heart melted and all he wanted to do was comfort her.

"I know you are" Fred responded, his hand reaching for hers and this time Sarah took it. "But are you sorry because you are ending things with me or are you sorry because you want to continue things with me and feel that this has ruined things?"

Sarah placed her other hand on top of their entwined hands. "When I stopped Draco, you were the only person I could think about. I was so afraid I ruined things forever and I didn't want to. Draco was the first boy I loved, but" tears fell as her voice turned hoarse with emotion, "I don't think he will be the last one. Actually, I don't want him to be the last one- I want that to be you. I know that now"

"Are you absolutely sure?" Fred asked her, eyes searching hers and Sarah nodded. "I am"

"Ok then" Fred squeezed her hand and leaned forward to kiss her cheek, before whispering in her ear, "We start over, ok?"

"Will you be able to trust me?" Sarah's voice shook and Fred pulled her into him.

"I think so" he replied squeezing her tightly. "And if not, we will work at it until I can"

"You know you are too good for me" Sarah lifted her arms to wrap them around his neck and Fred laughed.

"You are making me sound like a saint, Sarah" he snorted, kneading his hands on her lower back. "And you know I'm certainly not that"

Sarah laughed. "Ok, that is true" She pulled away. "But you are pretty great" She gave him a bright smile and Fred locked his eyes with her and smiled back. There are defining moments in relationships and for Sarah, this was one. Fred didn't gloss over what she had done, but he had treated her with such understanding and kindness…and in that moment, she knew. She could see herself with Fred for many years to come.

"Are you grounded from now to eternity?" he asked.

"Oh yeah" Sarah nodded. "Snape was needless to say, not happy…grounded, no friends, lots of essays…but I can still write to you"

"That's something at least" Fred replied . "As for essay topics, I think since you kissed Draco, I should be able to assign you an essay"

Sarah poked with her free hand. "Oh really?" she asked. "And what would the topic be?"

"The merits of dating a Weasley" Fred's look was impish and Sarah giggled.

"And how long should it be, Mr. Weasley?" she asked.

"At least 5 meters" Fred replied and Sarah smirked. "Confident, are we?"

"Absolutely" Fred tapped her leg playfully. "Mailed to me by next week, Miss Black"

"Yes sir, Mr. Weasley" Sarah laughed more before they were interrupted by a voice…

"I think you two are having way too much fun for people supposed to be having a serious conversation" Snape's tone attempted at being stern, but fell far short.

"Fred was just assigning me an essay to add to the pile of ones I am sure you will give me" Sarah scooted slightly away from him, not wanting Snape to think they were doing anything inappropriate.

"I will see that she does it" Snape replied as he sat down in his chair. "And don't quarrel with me about your essays…you deserve it"

"Yes, she does" Fred agreed and Sarah smacked him. "No teaming up with Snape"

"Still as you know, Mr. Weasley; Black needs a firm hand to keep her in line. I trust you are up for it" He raised an eyebrow and Fred laughed. Sarah blushed. "Dad!" the word escaped her and Fred didn't hide his shock.

"I didn't know you called Snape 'dad'" he turned towards her, questioning.

"It's ok, Sarah" Snape responded, quietly. "Mr. Weasley knows of our true relationship"

Sarah nodded. "Not often, but I do think of Snape as my dad" She bit her lip and glanced at Fred before settling on Snape. "Do you think that dishonors my Dad's memory?"

Snape wasn't sure what to say, when Fred intervened. "Sirius wanted you to be happy and secure. He knew you were attached to Snape. I think he would want you to do what felt right"

"Thanks Fred" she smiled at him and they were silent for a moment before her stomach growled.

"Hungry, Black?" Snape stood and Sarah responded, "Actually, I didn't eat much this week and did sick up a lot. I was just so worked up over everything" she admitted.

"And that wasn't a sign to you to turn the other way instead of going through with your inane plan?" Snape asked.

"Well, yes" Sarah told him. "But I chose to go through with it anyway"

Snape rolled his eyes. "Naturally" he said before continuing, "I will call for some food. Weasley, are you hungry?"

"I could always eat" Fred responded and Sarah laughed. "Yeah, that is true. Better call for lots of food"

Severus swiped his hands together. "Might as well. Black you should enjoy your friend's presence now, because you are grounded for a good long while"

Sarah nodded. "We both know that. Thank you, Uncle Sev" She smiled at him and Snape went to get them some food. As he did, he wondered when after 6 years had he become such a softie, though he was sure Sarah would disagree with his assessment of his parenting. Still, he wanted to enjoy this time while he had it. For he knew these days of parenting were numbered.

**A/N**: I know it seems like Snape is pushing Sarah towards Fred in this chapter, but I really think it is because he wants her away from the life he is forced to live...and he knows what is coming up. In his sweet Snapish way, this is one of the ways he is preparing her. Up next: Sarah overhears a conversation which leads to a disastrous defense class…Harry overhears a conversation which leads to doubts and more questions…and winter holidays.


	8. Teenagers

**A/N:** A lighter chapter…but, don't worry, more drama is approaching and quickly! Disclaimer: I don't own...and just done for pure enjoyment and stress relief! :)

**Chapter 8: Teenagers!**

"Hey, Harry…can you save a seat for me?" Sarah asked as the four were approaching defense class. "I just want to run to the loo for a minute"

"Sure" Harry reached for the books that were piled in her arms. "Let me take those"

"Here" Hermione gave Harry her books too. "I will come with you. We just can't be late."

Ron muttered as he reached to grab some of the books from Harry. "Why they have to go together I will never understand? What do they do in there?"

"I think it is a girl thing" Harry said, bewildered as Sarah and Hermione left them.

They entered the lavatory and Sarah held out her arm to stop Hermione. There was a small group of Slytherin girls and Pansy was in the center of the crowd, studying herself in the mirror.

"So, Draco finally gave in" Millie washed her hands. "How was it?"

Pansy fluffed out her hair. "How do you think? Draco is amazing- gentle and sweet, but so hot. And I wouldn't call it giving in. He initiated it. He wanted me. We were each other's firsts- isn't that incredible? We will be bonded forever"

Hermione started to tug at her arm, but Sarah put her finger to her lips. She wanted to hear this. It had been two weeks since the lavatory incident, where she and Draco shared a moment of their own. Since then, they had avoided contact with each other, which wasn't particular difficult as they were in different houses. But Sarah was too curious to back away, which is what she should have done instead of eavesdropping on the conversation.

"You think he is finally over Black?" Millie turned off the tap water. "He was so in love with her"

"I would say that Sarah Black was the furthest thing from his mind last night" Pansy laughed. "Plus, she isn't even pretty. Her breasts are way too small and her hips are huge. And Draco always said she was so annoying with her moral superiority…really, I think he is glad to get rid of her"

Sarah's fist balled but she managed to stay put. It wasn't like Pansy was such a beauty herself…

"Now Pansy, I think Sarah is sweet…and regardless, rumor has it that she is with Fred Weasley now" Millie replied. "Don't be mean"

Pansy took lipstick out of her bag and applied some more. "And why would he want her when he was so obviously shagging Angelina Johnson last year? She is ten times prettier than her- at least she isn't fat"

"Sarah isn't fat" Millie protested. "Seriously, maybe she isn't thin like you, but she isn't fat at all"

Sarah fought the urge to go over there and hex the smirk right off of Pansy's face. Seeing Sarah's expression, Hermione grabbed her arm and dragged her out of the room. "Sarah" she began but Sarah rubbed her temples. "Oh, just forget it Mione. She is a bitch and we all know it. And so what if Draco and Pansy had sex? And about Fred, well I suspected it from Ron's comments last year…Fred has just never talked about it. It doesn't matter. Leave it alone" They entered the classroom and Sarah found her seat next to Harry.

She dropped down into it and rested her head in her hands, elbows on her table.

"What happened?" Harry turned to Hermione, but Sarah lifted her head and gave Hermione a small shake.

"Nothing. It was just too overcrowded. We decided we can wait until after class" Hermione said and Harry didn't question her further. But the more Sarah sat there waiting for class to begin- and the more she pondered Pansy's words, the more upset she got. She buried her head in her arms as she waited.

A few minutes Snape entered the classroom with his typical intimidating stride, slamming the door behind him. He glanced around the room. "Black, head up" He barked and Sarah immediately obeyed. One look at her face and he knew something was up, but he forced himself to continue.

"Today, we will be putting some of the skills we have learned this year to the test. Not only does this count as a test score-" Snape paused as the class groaned, "But you will also have the opportunity to earn your house points. We will pair up- Gryffindors verse Slytherins. The winner in each match up will earn the higher mark and their house the extra points. But be warned- you will follow the rules. Deviating from them, will surely result in a failing grade and loss of points…" he glared at them, specifically looking at Sarah and her group of friends..."and detention. And as you know" he swept over to rap the top of Sarah's books with his fist before growling, "some of you can ill afford more detention"

Pansy and a group of Slytherins snickered and Sarah glared back at Snape. His attitude was snarky as usual towards her, but his warning was clear. _Behave- you are still grounded from the lavatory stunt and step out of line again, and the consequences will be dire._

"Volunteers?" Snape asked. Sarah turned to Harry. "Might as well get it over with, right?"

"You will do fine" he said. "Stop worrying" His emerald eyes encouraged her.

Sarah smacked her hands against the table and pushed herself up. "I'll start, Professor"

Snape inclined his head, his fingers on his chin. "Very well. And who would like to challenge Black?"

Pansy stepped up. "I will, Professor" The Slytherins looked at each other wearily. House points were at stake and they knew Parkinson was not their best match for Black.

Hermione turned to Harry. "This could be bad" she muttered.

Blaise whispered to Draco. "Do something" he hissed. "She is your girl and Black needs to face someone like you or me…you know defense is one of her best subjects, but not so much Pansy's"

Draco was uninterested by Blaise's concerns, but after hearing whispers from other Slytherins, he decided he probably should act.

"No, I'm not sure that is a good idea" Draco stood up. "Pansy and Black hate each other. I'm not sure I would trust Black to play fair"

"Me?" Sarah's eyes grew wide and she put her hand on her hip. "Are you implying I'm a cheater, Malfoy?" She took several steps towards him, but Snape's hand shot out to grab her wrist.

"I'm sure Black will be fair" Snape let go off her. "if she knows what is good for her. Isn't that right, Black?" He thought for a moment. "But perhaps, Zambini would be a better alternative?"

The Gryffindors groaned and Sarah crossed her arms. " A challenge was made, sir. It is only fair. I can duel Blaise next if you would like"

Severus stepped back. "Go on then"

Sarah swept past Pansy to stand closer to her uncle. "Just a warning, Parkinson. I heard what you said in the lavatory before class" she whispered as she moved by her. "if Draco did have sex with you, it wasn't because of his undying love for you. And my hips aren't big. Draco always thought that they were just the right size"

Pansy's face whitened as she gulped. Severus gave the signal and they began. The duel was heated from the beginning, with hexes being thrown and dodged at every angle, though a few of Sarah's hexes hit right on and as Severus was grading them, he noticed a pattern. All of Sarah's hexes at to do with altering Pansy's physical appearance. Her teeth grew bucked. Her body broke out in splotches. Her hair even turned bright orange. And her hips grew abnormally large. Severus frowned, wondering what had brought this on. He knew that Sarah knew other more appropriate spells.

Pansy put up a good fight initially, but Sarah's training under Severus had made her no match. She quickly disarmed her, highly satisfied by her victory.

Severus quickly cast the appropriate counter spells to return Pansy to her normal appearance, but he knew she was humiliated, especially by the cheers and snickers from the Gryffindor side of the room. He attempted to ease it.

"Black" he snapped. "Honestly, do you not know any other spells besides those? Your choices were very weak…and suspicious. 5 points to Gryffindor for winning, but 10 away for lack of originality"

"Oh, I thought it was very original sir" Sarah retorted and in spite of the loss of points, the Gryffindors laughed again. "And isn't the purpose of defense to deflect the spells and keep hold of your wand? What did you want me to do- break something? I decided to be more creative" She returned Pansy's wand to her. "Good match, Pansy" She said, lightly. "It was fun. We should do this more often"

As Black turned to walk back to hers seat, Pansy's arm breaking curse, hit her straight on. Sarah screamed in pain, vaguely thankful it was not her wand arm. She was furious and through the pain, she uttered a curse to break Pansy's nose, but it was deflected by Snape. Pansy took the opportunity to curse her again and this time hit her wand arm with a curse that caused her bones in her wand arm to disappear. Her wand dropped to the floor as her arm grew limp. The pain in her left arm was so intense and radiated through her entire arm and into her shoulder. She wanted to grab it and cradle it, but she couldn't move her right arm as it flopped against her. She began to sway.

"Sarah!" Draco ran to catch her before she fell over and hit her head. His arms still around her, he looked at his girlfriend with fury, "Why did you do that for?"

"She had it coming, Draco" Pansy argued. "Look at how she humiliated me and on purpose. Do not take her side"

"Her back was turned" Harry helped Draco ease her to the floor and then knelt down beside her to take her hand. "That's disgusting"

"Yeah, she won the duel fairly" Hermione argued as she picked up Sarah's wand off the floor. "Maybe you should be practicing more, Parkinson"

"Shut it mudblood" Pansy responded.

"Enough" Snape bellowed and the class was silent. When he felt like he had control once again. "Class dismissed. Parkinson, Black and Malfoy you stay here. The rest of you go. But by next class, a five meter essay due on the etiquette of dueling"

The class groaned but began to file out. Hermione handed Sarah's wand to Snape, but Harry turned to Snape. "I'm not leaving Sarah here with all of you"

"Potter! You will go if I tell you to go" Snape gave him his most menacing stare, but Harry refused to budge.

Snape glared at him again, but finally turned to Pansy. "Miss Parkinson, 10 points from Slytherin and detention with me tomorrow night. Do not argue with me. That display was disgraceful"

"But Black" Pansy began to argue, but Severus cut her off.

"Do not argue with me" Snape hissed at her. "Unless you want our detention tomorrow to become decidedly more unpleasant" and Pansy grabbed her books and stomped out of the room. As Pansy left, Hermione slipped back in, unnoticed.

"Why did you have to humiliate her like that, Black?" Draco held her. "You know how she is about her appearance"

"This is not Sarah's fault, Malfoy!" Harry was livid. "Leave her alone"

"Sir, if I may…" Hermione said, but Sarah instantly protested. "No, Hermione, don't"

"I thought I told you to leave, Granger" Severus snapped at her. "Enough…all of you. Just be quiet" The teens instantly stopped. "Now, let's carry this conversation on in my office. Malfoy, help Sarah to the couch. Go" Severus felt a headache coming on and he still had to go through the process of healing Sarah. It was going to be quite the afternoon and night.

They followed his directions, but Harry grumbled to Hermione, "shouldn't he be focused on fixing her now?"

"Uncle Sev" Sarah leaned against Draco as he helped her get settled on the couch, mindful of her arms. "Can you call Fred, please? I want him here. It really hurts and I know that healing this is going to be painful. I need him…please?"

Draco stiffened as he propped her up with some of the coach pillows. He straightened and headed to the door, but Severus barked. "Not so fast, Malfoy. I'm not done with you" Severus walked over to the floo, threw some powder in and firecalled Fred.

Fred was over quickly once Snape explained that Sarah was injured. He took one look at Sarah's limp wand arm and her swollen other arm and he was livid. "What happened?" He sat down next to her and allowed her to snuggle up against him, her back leaning against his arm. "Pansy" Sarah muttered, disgruntled. "Thanks for coming"

"No problem" Fred said. "Can't you give her some pain medication?" he asked Snape and then turned to Malfoy, "and you, can't you keep your girlfriend under control?"

"Only if you can keep yours under control" Draco retorted, but Severus slammed his hand against his desk. "Enough. Really, this is beyond ridiculous. Silence unless I tell you to speak"

The arguing ceased and Severus spoke again. "Now, Granger, what is it?" Severus said as he stood behind his desk.

"Sarah overheard Parkinson in the lavatory. She was saying things about how she slept with Malfoy…"

"Granger!" Draco protested. "Who I sleep with is none of anybody's business"

"Then maybe you should teach your girlfriend some discretion" Hermione responded with shake of her head. "But she also said things about Sarah- hurtful things about her hips and her other areas…and how she didn't know how Fred could be with her because he had slept with Angelina who was so much prettier than her"

"I see" Severus said, his voice calm but the teens knew he had reached the limit of his patience. "Malfoy, a word outside…and Potter and Granger, inform Madam Pomfrey of what as happened and ask her to meet us outside my quarters with pain reliever and skele-grow."

They obeyed leaving Sarah alone with Fred.

"Sarah" Fred's voice was shaky, as he played with the ends of her hair. He was glad she wasn't facing him. "You know what she said isn't true"

"You didn't sleep with Angelina?" Sarah asked, not really wanting to know the answer, but feeling like Fred needed to tell her the answer.

"That part is true" Fred said, reluctantly. "But what she said about your appearance. You are beautiful…and your body is perfect" His voice turned low. "Actually, I can't stop looking at you. You do wonders for me"

Sarah blushed and cleared her throat. "Thanks"

Fred continued, "And I will never compare you to Angelina. I promise you that. You are the reason we broke up…because I was hopelessly in love with you."

Sarah smiled. "Thank you…and I'm not mad at you for sleeping with her. I was with Draco at the time…I was more worried that what Pansy said was right. I know I am not as beautiful as she is…she said I was fat" She was interrupted as Severus came back into the room.

"How are you feeling?" Snape asked, his face showing his concern.

"I really want that pain medication" Sarah said, shaking a bit.

Severus crouched down to her level. "I know you do, Black. But part of the delay is that I want to build up your tolerance. Do you think the Death Eaters will give you pain medication if you are captured?"

Fred bristled. "But she isn't captured now…and she is in pain. Give her some medication"

"Do not question my parenting, Weasley" Severus stared at him. "I've had enough of all this mindless teenage drama for one day" He stood. "Can you help her up? I want to take her to my quarters. We will treat her there"

"No hospital wing?" Sarah asked, hopeful…and Severus shook his head. "I sent for Poppy. She agreed to treat you in our quarters so you would be more comfortable. It will be painful, but Weasley and I will help you through it"

They walked back slowly to Snape's quarters and once there, Severus asked Fred, "I assume you took the time alone to tell Sarah that Pansy's words are a gross untruth …that she is beautiful and all that nonsense that comes across much better from a boyfriend than from a father…"

Sarah giggled. "Thank you, Uncle Sev. She said I was fat"

Severus grunted. "There is nothing fat about you, Black. Maybe you aren't as anorexically thin as other girls here, but most boys do not find that attractive, right Weasley?"

"Right" He assured her, somewhat disconcerted that they were just casually having this conversation with Snape.

"Oh, don't look so shocked, Weasley" Snape eyed his expression. "I can be sensitive you know"

And even though her arm was throbbing, Sarah snorted. "He is much better than he has been in years past. You should have seen the first time he tried to give me a hug"

"Hush, Black" Severus stopped to swat her leg. "You don't have to tell all of our secrets. I have a reputation you know"

Sarah frowned, a concern forming in her mind. "Fred, maybe we need to teach you occlumency too. We have to protect Snape's identity as a spy"

"I don't think you need to concern yourself about that now" Snape cut her off. "Let's get your arm healed, and we will talk about it later"

They met Madam Pomfrey in the quarters and Fred and Snape remained by her side as she healed her broken arm (causing Sarah to scream, much to the distress of both of the men) and administered the skele-grow. Growing back bones was a nasty business and both Snape and Fred showed a patience and gentleness with her that make Sarah truly thankful that she had such wonderful men in her life.

* * *

The semester passed in a daze. Sarah had served her punishment with Snape and was finally allowed to do some studying in the library. Winter break was fast approaching- less than a week away and she still had some major studying to do. She wondered if there would ever be a year where she wouldn't spend most of her time on restriction with Snape. Probably not…

Sarah was in the middle of her charms essay, when someone sat down next to her.

"Can I sit here?"

Sarah threw down her quill. "FRED!" She hadn't seen him in weeks, not since that night that he stayed by her side as her bones regrew in her right arm.

"Shhh, Miss Black, really?" Madam Pince gave her a severe look and Sarah lowered her voice. "What are you doing here?" she whispered.

"Guys, can you take it somewhere else?" Hermione asked, annoyed. "I'm about to lose it. I have so much work to do and I'm trying to look this up and I can't find it and…"

Sarah smiled. "Sure. Can you watch my stuff?" Hermione waved them off and Sarah took him back to a secluded corner of the library.

"What are you doing here?" Sarah asked again as they cuddled up on the floor against a bookshelf in the stacks.

"You know" Fred said. "Dropping things off for Ronald"

"And they allow you to do that?" Sarah asked.

Fred shrugged. "Let's just say, Professor McGonagall is glad that you moved on. She likes me"

Sarah looked skeptical. "She likes you? After all the trouble you caused her?"

Fred smiled. "Like you are one to talk"

"Ok" Sarah laughed. "Point taken. I'm glad you are here though"

"And why is that?" Fred asked her, his hand taking hers.

"Because I missed you" Sarah squeezed his hand. "And I have been thinking about you. Writing is just not the same as you being here with me"

"I missed you too, Sarah" Fred said quietly. Sarah pulled away from him, a smile dancing across her face.

She got up on her knees, her hands resting on Fred's shoulders. "So, you told me that when I was ready, I am supposed to make the first move" she said, her voice quiet. "I want to, Fred" Her heart was beating fast.

"Then stop thinking so hard" Fred advised her and put his hands on her waist to help balance her. "I know you are probably overana…"

Sarah's lips silenced him, lightly kissing him on the mouth. She pulled back slightly, and Fred knew she was teasing him. "How's that?"

"Sarah Black" he warned. "That is _not_ the way you kiss your boyfriend"

"I apologize, should I try that again?" Sarah's voice was light and flirty. She leaned in again and this time, the kiss was deeper and much more intense. Fred allowed her to determine the pace and depth of the kisses, and Sarah marveled at that new experience, used to Draco taking the lead in their snogging. But after a bit, he felt she was comfortable enough, and he took control by slipping his tongue into her mouth and deepening the kisses even further. She made a noise and he widened his legs to pull her closer to him so she could wrap her arms around his neck, resting her hands on the bookcase behind her. They spent the next several minutes this way, content to explore each other. Finally, Sarah pulled away, trying to catch her breath.

Fred grinned at her. "We have to build up your stamina, Sarah" he teased as he rubbed the small of her back.

Sarah chuckled. "I'm a bit out of practice, I suppose. But wow, that was great"

"Want to try again?" Fred asked, hopefully and Sarah responded, "Absolutely" and leaned in again, when they heard someone clear their throat.

"Sorry" Harry said quickly. "I didn't mean to interrupt…you know, but Sarah…I've been trying to catch up with you but we keep missing each other"

Sarah turned around and Fred allowed her to lean against him, his arms around her stomach.

"Something wrong, Harry?" she asked. "Why don't you sit down?"

Harry sat across from them, resting against the shelf of the bookcase and putting his books in the space in between them. His potions book laid on top of the pile.

"It's Snape" he said. "Have you seen him since last night?"

"No" Sarah responded, her brow creasing slightly. "You had occlumency lessons last night- did they not go well?"

Harry glanced at Fred and he took the hint. Fred gently pushed her to his side and grabbed the ratty potions book on the top of the pile. He turned his back to them, flipping through the book.

"I…" Harry grimaced. "Snape kept pushing, Sarah. He wouldn't stop. And he kept saying things…about how I was just like my dad…undisciplined, entitled. So when he tried to enter my mind, I panicked and cast a shield spell"

"I don't understand" Sarah responded. "What does that do?"

"I entered Snape's mind" Harry took a breath. "And I saw things…about what our dads did to him when he was our age and what he called my mum. When he finally pushed me out, he was furious. He kicked me out"

Sarah rested her elbows on her thighs as she covered her mouth with her hand. Finally, she said, "Snape mentioned to me before that our dads weren't particularly nice to him and that is why he was so pissed when Mum decided to marry Dad, but were they…"

"It was bad, Sarah" Harry replied. "Complete bullies"

"Ok" Sarah sighed. "We have to remember that our dads changed. They were good men. So what about Snape? He refuses to give you occlumency lessons?"

Harry nodded. "Yeah, I think those are over with"

Sarah frowned. "I can try to help you some with it, Harry. And maybe when Snape settles down…talk to him about it"

"Good luck with that" Harry replied. "But there is something else about Snape, I have to tell you"

Sarah waited and Harry continued, "I overheard him at Slughorn's party. Draco crashed it and Snape dragged him outside and he said he made the unbreakable vow to Narcissa Malfoy to help Draco"

Fred turned back around. "to help him? That's serious. You can't break an unbreakable vow- you die if you do"

Sarah shuddered at the thought of Snape dying. "Ok, wait…Snape makes an unbreakable vow to Narcissa…meaning, what game is he playing at?"

"You doubt his loyalties?" Fred asked her and Sarah shook her head. "Not really, but it is weird that he would do that. It kind of makes it seem like Snape is on Voldemort's side"

Harry watched her carefully. "And you are sure that Snape is loyal to Dumbledore? Put aside your relationship with him and how he acts with you. Is he on our side?"

"I really think he is, Harry" Sarah said. "He can't have faked these past 6 years. Not with me at least…I can't believe it possible"

They fell silent.

Finally, Fred put Harry's potions book on top of his pile of books and the motion caught Sarah's eye.

"I never did get a good look at this" She reached for the book.

"There is dark magic in there" Fred said. He took the book from her. "Look" he opened the page. "Have you seen this spell before? This person- the Half Blood Prince- created it"

Sarah took the book. "Sectumsempra. No, I haven't" She turned the pages, a frown coming over her features. Finally, she looked up.

"It's Snape's handwriting" her voice shook. "I can't believe I didn't see this sooner"

"What?" Harry snatched the book from her. "Are you sure?"

Sarah nodded. "It looks different, but it is his. And the potions and how they are altered. Well, look at this one here" She grabbed the book back and flipped the book around to show Harry. "Snape taught me how to do this like it is in his notes, not like it says in the book. It is his book. Not to mention- the name Prince. It was my grandmother's maiden name. It is his- no doubt in my mind"

"But it has dark magic in it" Fred pointed out, but Sarah interrupted him, "and Snape was into dark magic when he was our age. There is no getting around it"

"What are you going to do?" Harry asked, quietly. "You can't just let this go. Not with what you just learned about Snape and the unbreakable vow"

Fred took her hand and Sarah took a breath. "I will talk to him about it. Over holidays. And we will go from there. Merlin help me, it's going to be miserable" She turned around and wrapped her arms around Fred, wanting his closeness and comfort. She just hoped everything would turn out alright in the end.

**Up Next**: the confrontation…and when things get ugly, Sarah does something that Severus finds will test the limits of his forgiveness and his ability to be her parent…any guesses what that might be?


	9. Repeating the Past?

**A/N:** It has been a while, hasn't it? Sorry for the delay in updating, but real life has definitely become consuming. In the past month, I have finished my job and moved. In the next month, we are moving oversees for a year. Updates will probably be slower until we are settled in to our new home. Stick with me though, lots of more story to tell! And please let me know what you think! By the way, if the formatting is off, I apologize...I'm using a different computer that doesn't have MS Word.

**Chapter 9: Repeating the Past?  
**

Sarah was excited to return to Snape Manor for Christmas again rather than staying at Hogwarts. At the same time, she was also nervous about confronting Snape with what she learned from Harry. But that could wait as Snape had begrudgingly consented to let Hermione spend the first two days of break with her as her parents were on a brief business trip and Hermione didn't want to stay with the Weasleys given everything that had happened with Ron and Lavender. He knew that Sarah never really asked to have friends over, respecting his need for privacy, but that on occasions she just wanted to be normal-and normal was having friends over for holiday weekends. So he put up extra charms up to hide Hermione's presence and swore both girls to secrecy, a necessity considering Hermione's muggle status and to protect his often tenuous position as a Death Eater.

The first night Sarah and Hermione stayed up, catching up. Sarah missed her girl time with Hermione, having it only sporadically the past two years, as she was frequently grounded and confined to Snape's quarters and the other times, they were usually around Harry and Ron. They laid on their stomachs in their pajamas on Sarah's bed,lazily flipping through Hermione's muggle magazine, designed for older teens when they came across a very interesting article.

"Do you ever wonder what it would be like to have sex?" Hermione asked, curiously. "Hmm...this is really... thorough...there are definitions and everything"

Sarah nodded. "Yeah" She began to read the article and then stopped, her mouth gaping open slightly. "So, that is what that was. I was always too shy and unsure to ask him"

Hermione giggled at her amazed reaction. "For being the former girlfriend of Draco Malfoy, I would think that you would understand more"

Sarah shook her head, her eyes still fixed to the article. "Draco treated me differently than Pansy. I think he was afraid of Snape and I suspect he sat him down and threatened him when he saw that were were getting more involved physically. Draco backed off, the result is that we never got very far...and as for Snape, I told him when he tried to give me that 'talk' that I knew all about it from your magazines. I'm not sure he bought that story"

"Thanks for that" Hermione responded, elbowing her. "Those ones didn't really tell us much compared to this" She flipped it closed. "I know we are supposed to be grown up and know all about it with it seemingly like everyone in serious relationships are at least considering it...still, I just feel naughty looking at it"

Sarah giggled. "Yeah, me too but it is tempting to look at it further" She looked at the magazine somewhat longingly.

"You still committed to waiting until you are older?" Hermione asked.

"I know it might not be the popular stance and Fred and I aren't even anywhere close to even discussing that, but yeah...I'm definitely not ready for it...even if Draco and Pansy are...you know?"

They fell silent, before Hermione asked her, "So, do you feel that it is strange that you were so completely into Draco and now you are dating Fred?" Hermione paused and then clarified, "I mean you said you didn't feel this amazing connection with Fred and all the sudden you are dating him..."

Sarah turned onto her back to stare at her ceiling. "I know you guys are wondering how it happened- well, I'm pretty sure Harry and Ron are just relieved that I'm dating Fred and not Draco. I don't know if I can even explain what happened."

"Do you want to try?" Hermione asked quietly. "I just want to make sure you aren't settling"

Sarah swallowed and continued. "After Dad died, things changed inside me" She sat up to lean against the headboard, pulling her knees to her chest and rocking against them. "Things aren't the way they are in all those romance books that I used to love so much. I mean, just look at my mum and dad and what happened to them. And James and Lily...they had that beautiful romance and that didn't get them very far"

"Still, don't you want that romance?" Hermione asked, curiously. "To fall so deeply in love? To have your heart skip a beat when he walks into the room...that's awfully practical, especially since we are teenagers and are supposed to be driven by that romance"

Sarah shook her head. "But nothing has been for me the way it should has been, why should this be different? I should have had my mum and dad together for all those years and Pettigrew should have been the one behind bars. My parents should both be living...life just isn't like that. I just want someone who will love me no matter what- someone who is good and true. I love that Fred is one of my best friends and that I can tell him anything. Is it like what I had with Draco...no, but that doesn't mean it is not good...it's great actually. He gets me and I need that."

"So, when you guys snog..." Hermione trailed off and Sarah quickly jumped in, "I do feel something. I really do. I'm attracted to him. It's great and I mean, he is really sexy in his cute Weasley way...and I know at the end of the day, Fred will be on my side. I can trust him and that is really important to me right now"

"So you aren't settling?"

"Fred Weasley is anything but settling...you know that, Hermione. He is a great guy" Sarah argued. "And I am falling for him...I'm just controlling my feelings better..."

"Hmmm...I know Fred is a great guy...maybe he should talk to his brother about the proper way to treat woman" Hermione grumbled and Sarah frowned sympathetically.

"Ron is dense, Hermione. Lavender is a good snog for him, but he loves you" Sarah assured her friend. "You must know that"

Hermione sighed. "The problem is...I don't think he will ever realize it"

"He will" Sarah replied. "In the meantime, keep him at arms length. It will drive him crazy"

Hermione giggled and they heard a knock on the door. Sarah quickly sat up and grabbed the magazine to shove it under the covers, before lying back down on her side, her hand behind her head. "Yes, sir?"

Snape stepped into the room, but stood in front of the door. "It's late, girls" He frowned at them. "Lights out and go to bed"

"Sorry, sir" the girls responded and Snape waved them off. "You better get your rest because I decided to put you girls to work tomorrow. I have a list of several potions I need to brew for a few different suppliers and I wanted to get a quick start on them. Miss Granger is that agreeable to you?"

Hermione nodded enthusiastically. "I would love that"

Sarah rolled her eyes. "Oh Merlin, Hermione...it sounds dreadful" Sarah said dramatically, flopping onto her back and Snape smirked. "Goodnight, ladies" The girls said their good nights and turned off the light.

* * *

Hermione left and Christmas came and went. There was only a week left in break and Sarah knew her time to confront Snape was growing shorter. After dinner, Sarah was determined that his was the time to talk to Snape. Snape had told her to get her wand and meet him in the study. They had nightly training and Sarah thought this time was better than never.

"We are going to practice occlumency tonight" Snape announced as Sarah sat down on the coach. She moaned, having been thankful that Snape hadn't been pushing her with their occlumency lessons this break, but apparently the night she was the most unsettled, he wanted to try to get into her mind. She decided to be proactive.

"Before we began" Sarah folded her leg underneath her. "Can we talk?" her expression was almost shy and Snape inclined his head, his fingers tapping together as her surveyed her, trying to read her expression.

"What's on your mind, Black?" he asked finally.

Sarah took a breath, unsure of where to begin. She had practiced this conversation over and over again in her mind, but now confronted with it, she had no idea how to approach it. Snape sensed her uncertainty and narrowed his eyes. "If this is about what happened with Potter, I was wondering when you would have the nerve to bring it up, but" her growled. "we aren't discussing that"

"Actually no" Sarah replied, softly. "I mean, I know about that and think you are being unreasonable not to continue Harry's occlumency lessons given the advantage that gives Voldemort..."

"Unreasonable?" Snape fought to keep his temper. "How can you think I am the one being unreasonable when Potter is such an arrogant..."

"Enough, Dad" Sarah stood. "Harry is my friend. And I didn't want to bring that up. It is not about that. I want to know what unbreakable vow you made with Narcissa Malfoy"

Severus stilled, his eyes fixed on her. "How did you find out about that?" he said in a low voice and Sarah knew that this conversation was not going well, right from the start.

"Harry overhead you talking with Draco" Sarah replied. "So, it's true?"

Severus stood as well, crossing his arms. "I don't deny it. But as for explaining it to you, I don't owe you an explanation. It is none of your concern"

Sarah placed a hand on her hip, indignant. "None of my concern? You know what it looks like...it looks like you are betraying Dumbledore if you made the unbreakable vow to carry out Draco's mission as a Death Eater"

Severus realized her anger and even the legitimacy of her argument, but still held fast to his position. "I'm not discussing this with you, Sarah Grace. I told you that you will not question my role as a spy. Part of my role as a spy is to keep people wondering..."

"But NOT me!" Sarah snapped. "I'm your niece- your adopted daughter. I want to trust you, but you are making it hard for me, with your secret Death Eater meetings and your clandestine pacts with Narcissa Malfoy"

"Watch your tone" Severus warned. "I don't understand where your doubts are coming from...I've told you-"

"What's Sectumsempra...?" Sarah broke in, fiercely.

Severus blinked and then in one sweeping step, moved over to grip her arms tightly. "Where did you learn of _that_ spell?"

"How do you think I learned of it?" Sarah responded, her voice sharp and cutting. "Surely you must know. You created it, didn't you?"

"Where is it?" Severus shook her and Sarah fought against his grasp, trying to fling herself away from him. "Where is the book? Potter has it doesn't he?"

"That is none of your concern" Sarah retorted. "This isn't about the book. It is about the magic contained in the book. The Dark Magic threads through the pages of that book- dark magic that you created!""

"I don't need to answer you" Snape growled, gripping her steady to keep her from getting away from him but taking care not to manhandle her too much. "I'm the adult here. I don't answer to you"

"Just tell me" Sarah entreated, the edges evening out. "Tell me that you were different back then. Tell me that you have changed- that the pact with Narcissa hasn't sealed you to Voldemort. I have to believe that you are good. Don't you understand?"

Severus released her and turned away from her. Sarah stood shaking, not believing the way she spoke to Snape. The seconds drew into minutes when finally Snape turned.

"We are practicing occlumency now, Sarah" Snape's voice was low, but determined. "Pull your wand out"

"What?" Sarah backed up to where she almost feel against the coach. "No...you can't just ignore..." She protested, but Snape cut in.

"Pull your wand out now" Severus instructed, firmly. "Obey me"

Sarah studied his look and his firm stance and she realized she had little choice in the matter, so she obeyed.

"Legilimins" Snape pushed aggressively into her mind and Sarah felt completely out of control, her emotions spiraling, unable to defend herself. Snape pulled out.

"That is pathetic, Sarah" He snapped at her. "Have you forgot everything I have taught you?"

Sarah's angry took control now and she sat down on the couch, her attitude defiant. "I'm upset...I need time. We aren't doing this now"

"You think the Dark Lord will wait until you are more composed?" He responded, his voice deep, almost a snarl. He grabbed her arms and pulled her up to face him. "He will wait until your weakest, most vulnerable moment, and then he will invade. Again, Sarah"

"Legilimins" Snape again was aggressively dominating her mind and Sarah had to get away from him. Snape could feel her anger as he was weaving through her private memories until finally she pushed back, gaining control. "Protego" she practically screamed and caught Snape completely off guard as she invaded his memories.

Memories swirled about her- glimpses of Lily and Sev; of Grace; of the Marauders tormenting Snape. Then a memory settled in- it was hazy as Snape was trying to gain back control, but Sarah's shield spell was characteristically powerful, much more so than Harry's had been. And it caught him unprepared- he never dreamed Sarah would knowingly do the same thing Potter had unknowingly did.

"Just do it Severus" Lucius gestured to him. "Don't hesitate. You must prove your worth. She is only a muggle"

Sarah saw a girl crumpled up on the floor, her moaning. And she saw Severus, only a few years older than her, standing over her with a wand, Lucius coaxing him into torture.

Sarah could feel Severus's uncertainty, his hesitation. She could feel him comparing the girl to Grace in his mind, but then him dismiss all thoughts. She was only a muggle.

"No" Sarah's stomach dropped. "Don't do it" Her screams echoed the screams of the girl as Severus's signature Sectumsempra curse hit the girl, slashing deep, piercing cuts into her skin, mimicking his wand movement. She felt herself being pulled away, out of Severus's mind and thrown back onto the ground.

The horror of what she did, of what she saw overtook her as she laid on her back, trying to find the energy to sit up. She knew what would happen when she cast the shield spell and she also knew the privacy Snape treasured. But the memory of Snape torturing the girl would live with her forever.

She managed to sit up and swallow down the vomit that rose to her throat. She didn't know what to say or do. Snape was sitting on the floor a few steps away from her. He rose silently and walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

Sarah was unsure of what to do. Snape hadn't come out of his room all day. She had lounged around the house, trying to take her mind off of what had happened. But she couldn't. Even when she confronted Snape about the unbreakable vow, she never thought he was truly on Voldemort's side. It was more to prove it to the others that Snape was loyal to Dumbledore. But she couldn't deny at one time, he was a legitimate follower of Voldemort. She knew Lily's death and then much later her mother's passing had changed him, but what if he was being lured back? And what if her actions pushed him further towards Voldemort? She knew he would view her doubts as well as her invading his mind on purpose as a betrayal. Just as her mum betrayed him when she started dating her dad. And she saw how well that worked out. They were estranged for years and her uncle ended up taking the Dark Mark. She wasn't even sure why she did it. Snape was being so aggressive and condescending and she just wanted him to feel what she was feeling. But Snape would probably see his actions as necessary training in order to protect her and her actions as a smack in the face in light of all he has done for her. It would probably remind him of her father and how he bullied him and compare her to him yet again. And she knew that when Snape was betrayed, he became dangerous. Is that why he was avoiding her? Was he afraid of what he might do? She wasn't scared of him. Not really...but how to show Snape that she did trust him? How could she even begin to make it up to him? To apologize? She loved him and the fact that her actions hurt him, was unbearable.

Lost in her thoughts, she wandered into the kitchen. Snape wasn't there and nothing was being prepared for dinner. She called for Wiggles.

"Yes, Miss Sarah?" Wiggles responded.

"Has Uncle Sev eaten all day?" Sarah asked the house elf, who was looking quite distressed.

"No, none at all" Wiggles replied, wringing her hands. "I offered to bring him a breakfast and lunch tray, but he said he wasn't hungry."

"What is he doing in his room?" Sarah inquired, casually.

"He said that he is doing research and that he would be in there for quite a while. When I asked him about what to do with you, he said that you are capable of taking care of yourself" Wiggles frowned. "I haven't seen this way in a long time, not since before you came"

Sarah thought for a moment. "If I make him dinner, will you take it in there for me? Tell him that I made it for him and ordered you to take it to him?"

Wiggles nodded. "Master does have to eat something"

"Great, thank you!" Sarah began to start preparations for dinner. She made sure she gave him plenty of meat and vegetables as well as cookies for dessert. After saving a bit for herself, she sent Wiggles with the tray she made him and waited nervously as she tried to choke down her portion of the dinner.

Wiggles came back a few minutes later and Sarah was relieved to see she didn't have tray in hand. "So?" She asked.

"He was surprised that I told him you made it for him, but he told me to leave it" Wiggles began to clean up Sarah's mess that she made while cooking. "What has happened between you and Master Sev?"

"You don't have to do that" Sarah told her. "I can definitely clean it up. And as for what happened, it's long and complicated"

Tears formed in the house elf's eyes but she didn't press further. "I'll clean it, Mistress Sarah" Wiggles responded. "Finish your dinner and go play"

"I'm done" Sarah said. "Thank you Wiggles" She forced a smile at the house elf and went to cry in the sanctuary of her room.

* * *

Another day passed and Severus was still in his room, supposedly doing "research". Break was rapidly coming to a close and Sarah truly was at a loss. Snape never shut down like this- not at least how she was aware of. She wished her mum was here to give her advise. And she was frankly bored, without Snape's company. Bored and anxious. Not a great combination. Sarah went into the potions lab and took a look at the potions Severus still needed to brew before they went back to Hogwarts. There were five left to brew and Sarah saw that she could brew three, but the other two would need Severus's guidance as they were much more complicated and they wouldn't cover them until their 7th year NEWT. She spent the next two days in the lab working hard to brew the three potions for her uncle. This would surely show him how much she cared, right?

She finally finished and bottled and labeled the potions. They had turned out well and Sarah was sure that not even her potions master uncle could find fault with them.

The next morning, Sarah realized that they had three more days left in break and Severus was still hauled up in his room. She really needed her friends right now. She was sure the way that Severus was so mad at her that he wouldn't care of she made a quick visit to the Weasleys. In fact, she was beginning to think he didn't care at all...surely, he should have seen how much effort she was making.

"Wiggles" she called and the house elf appeared. "Would you mind telling Uncle Sev if he asks that I'm going to the Weasleys today and I will be back tomorrow morning...as if he cares"

"I'm not sure that is a good idea" Wiggles admonished, but Sarah dismissed her worries.

"Uncle Sev is upset with me and if he refuses to come out, obviously he doesn't care" She went to her room and packed an overnight bag, allowing hurt to dictate her actions. After saying goodbye to Wiggles, she flooed to the Weasleys to talk to her friends.

* * *

Severus finally came out of his room- the necessity of brewing potions took precedence over him not waiting to even talk to Sarah. He couldn't believe that she knowingly cast a spell to enter his mind- and then he was embarrassed and ashamed of what she saw. He knew that she would take it as how much he has changed, but still it must have disturbed her. How dare she do this to them when they had so little time left? Was this the little girl that he had chosen to raise for the past 6 years? And for the first time in several years, Snape found himself thinking of Sarah and comparing her to the Potter and Black. It was something they would do. "She is Sirius Black's daughter" Snape thought ruefully. Maybe he should just let the rift occur as it was happening naturally rather than confront her and punish. And he was awfully furious at her. He just wanted to shake some sense into her. Did she understand how much he was sacrificing...for her safety? And how painful it was for him to have her privy to those memories?

But he found himself leaving his room for the first time in several days. Looking around, he saw Sarah no where. He had to admit he felt somewhat relieved- hopefully she would stay in her room. He was frankly just not ready to deal with the situation.

"Wiggles" he called and the house elf appeared. "Is Sarah in her room?" he asked.

Wiggles shook her head slowly..."no" and Severus raised an eyebrow and gestured her to continue on...

"She told me to tell you" The house elf looked sorrowful "that she was going to the Weasleys for the day and she would be home tomorrow morning"

"She did, did she?" Severus was livid, all his frustration and anger from the past few days, boiling over. "Without asking permission?" he thundered and smacked the wall.

"Well" Wiggles was timid, "she thought you didn't care...and can you really blame her Master Sev...you have been in your room for the past three days and I think she is scared of you right now"

"Well, she bloody well should be" Snape muttered. "I have half a mind to go over there right now, and scare her senseless, but then I would have to talk to her, and I really don't feel like doing that...not when I have so much to do" He took deep breathes to try to calm down. And for the first time in a while, Severus was wondering what ever made him think that agreeing to Grace's request 6 years prior was a good idea. He wasn't cut out for this. He stalked into his lab, needing to get those potions brewed when he stopped in his tracks.

He walked over to the completed potions and examined their properties carefully. They were well made- it must have taken her two days to do it, but here they were-well brewed and ready to be sent for shipment. He would have to only do the two left and he was confident she would have attempted them, but she knew it was above her ability and knew he would have to redo them. She was trying, Severus knew that. But he wasn't sure her efforts were enough to get rid of the memory of her face when she had finished seeing those memories. And the feel of his adopted daughter- the person he now loved most in this world, willingly commit an act that harmed him. And knowing that maybe all of this was just maybe meant to be. Yes, he should go to the Weasleys and get her and sit her down for a long talk. He should censure her for her actions- allow her to explain and attempt reconciliation. He should assure her that no matter what he loved her and forgave her. He didn't want to repeat what happened with Grace, when all they had to do was talk it out and try to work through it. But he knew the past was destined to be repeated for he wouldn't do that- he would let the events fold as they would. Yes, the break came sooner rather than later, but maybe then the shock of him killing Dumbledore wouldn't be so great for her. She belonged with Potter anyways. She wasn't his anymore.

**Up next**: Back at Hogwarts, unable to bear the rift, Sarah further attempts to make things right and Dumbledore speaks his mind about the situation to Severus.


	10. Distance

**Disclaimer:** of course I don't own...

**Chapter 10 : Distance**

The floo in Snape's house allowed her direct access to the Weasleys. The house was bustling with activity as smells of cooking bacon and eggs greeted her. The family was having breakfast in the kitchen. She was surprised to hear the twins' voices, but then she figured they must have stayed the night to spend time with Ron and Ginny before they returned to Hogwarts. She knew that the shop was slow after Christmas and Fred mentioned that they may try to spend more time at the Burrow, leaving the store in the hands of the employee they hired. She was glad that Fred was here. Going unnoticed, she made her way to the kitchen quietly, shifting awkwardly at the door- her overnight bag heavy on her shoulder.

The first person to notice her was Mrs. Weasley, who upon viewing her pale face, approached her. The table fell silent as the other Weasleys and Harry turned to watch in surprise at Sarah's unexpected arrival.

"Sarah, dear" Molly touched her shoulder. "Everything, alright?"

"Can I stay here tonight?" Sarah asked, her voice uncertain and shaky. At the tone of her voice, Fred quickly rose from the table and Harry followed suit, looking very concerned.

"Does Severus know you are here?" She asked as she steadied her.

"I told Wiggles. I don't think he cares, Mrs. Weasley" Sarah replied, shrugging in hopes of appearing indifferent, but at the same time having to fight her tears. Molly touched her face in a knowing, motherly fashion that made Sarah miss her mum even more.

"I'm sure that is not the case. As long as he knows where you are, I know Severus well enough to know that he will come and get you if he wants you. In the meantime, you know you are always welcome in our home" She responded. "You can share with Ginny as usual. You look pale." her voice was gentle. "Breakfast is on the table. Fred- get Sarah some food, please"

Molly pulled her into a hug.

"Thank you, Mrs. Wealsey" Sarah said, gratefully.

"You're certainly welcome" Molly released her and smoothed down her hair tenderly. "If you need to talk, Sarah I'm here" she said quietly.

Sarah chose a seat next to Ginny and Fred made her a plate, putting it down in front of her, a quick kiss to her cheek as he did. The table was quiet and Sarah picked at her breakfast.

"Aren't you late for work?" Sarah asked, forcing herself to look at her plate. Fred, who sat nearby, was in conference with George, and while Sarah couldn't make out exactly what they were saying she had a feeling it had something to do with her.

"We were just talking about that" George said. "I'm going to floo over and check on the store and come right back and Freddie is staying here"

"I'm fine, you don't have to change your plans for me" Sarah's argument was feeble because everyone at the table could tell something was definitely wrong.

"Don't tell all until I come back" George instructed. "I don't want to miss it" Sarah nodded and George left them.

Sarah stared at her plate. Now that she was here, she wasn't sure that she wanted to be here and tell them all that happened. It would make it real. And she knew that she would have to tread carefully lest her friends question Snape's loyalties even further. She believed in Snape's goodness, even when the evidence seemed to contradict her beliefs.

Fred sensed her mood. Turning to Ron, he asked, "Should we firecall Hermione and have her come over?"

"Yeah...I guess...I suppose..." Ron fumbled, "if someone else asks her"

Ginny rolled her eyes. "I'll go do it". She stood up and Harry stood up after her. "I'll come with you, GIn"

Sarah reached to touch Ginny's arm. "Are you ok with me staying with you?"

Ginny smiled at her. "Of course. Why wouldn't I be?" She turned to her brother. "You just better not try to sneak in and snog with Sarah"

Ron groaned loudly and Sarah kicked him under the table. "Don't you start. I have seen you and Lavender quite a bit and in not all that private places"

Ron ducked his head, somewhat sheepishly. "Well, yeah, but it's different."

Fred poked at his brother's side and inclined his head towards the door. Ron, unable to ignore took the rather blatant hint, rose. "I'll just be in our room"

"Great. We are coming up there soon" Fred watched his brother leave. With an eye to his mum, who was cleaning up, he sat down next to Sarah. Molly smiled to herself.

"Take your time, Sarah. Leave the dishes when you are done. I'm off to do some wash" Molly said, casually. She loved the tender side that Sarah always brought out in her prankster son. On many occasions in the past years, she wondered if he had a conscious and how to keep him in tow. There was a roughness to Fred, that she didn't usually see in George, but those edges seemed to fade with Sarah. And she loved Sarah like another daughter- she just hoped and prayed that she didn't break her son's heart.

After Molly left, Fred reached to take her hand. He gripped it lightly, his fingers comfortably fitting through hers. "I know you want to tell the others what is going on too, but would it help to get it out now or tell us all at once?"

Sarah turned her body towards him as they sat on the long wooden bench that comprised the seating to the Weasley's table. She folded her leg, moving their hands to rest on her knee between them. Finally, she looked up at him. "I can't tell them everything...Harry and Ron would go bonkers and use it to perhaps unjustly accuse Snape" She met his eyes. He looked somewhat blurry as tears began to cloud her eyes. She blinked and cleared her throat. "I can trust you to remain calm and sensible, right?"

"Of course, you know you can" Fred replied firmly. "I take the confrontation with Snape didn't go well"

"That would be an understatement" Sarah laughed, ironically as she swiped her tears. "Snape hasn't left his room in three days"

"For real?" Fred asked, astounded. "He's in hiding? Bloody hell, what did you do?"

"He wouldn't talk to me about it, Fred. He insisted on practicing occlumency" Sarah looked up at him, showing him her distress. Fred squeezed her hand in response. "He kept pushing me. I got angry. I used the shield spell..."

"The same thing Harry did? Sarah! No wonder Snape is pissed" Fred interrupted. "What did you see?"

"You see that's what I can't tell the others..." Sarah leaned forward to rest the top of her head against Fred's chest. "I saw Snape torture a girl not much older than me- a muggle. It was during the first war and Snape was probably just out of school, yet he did it...it was awful" She lifted her head to look Fred in the eyes.

"Are you convinced that Snape has changed?" Fred asked, tracing his finger against her jaw and trying to keep his voice neutral. "Torturing someone can't just be glossed over, Sarah- no matter how much you love someone"

"I know that..." Sarah started, "And I know the others will use that as a reason not to trust Snape. I know that he once truly believed in Voldemort's cause, but things...things I can't exactly say, changed him."

"And do you think these things that changed him once are still there?" Fred asked.

"They are- I'm sure of it. And Headmaster Dumbledore believes in him and I trust Dumbledore. And my mother chose him for my guardian. If she thought that he was still a Death Eater, she would have never... she would have never asked Snape. I do have other family- on my Dad's side. The Tonks family...she could have asked them, but she asked Snape. She trusted that he had changed. And I do too..."

"OK" Fred let out a breath as he gently tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "So, this is more about you and what you did"

"I think Snape sees it as a betrayal. What if that pushes him closer to Voldemort? I feel like I'm losing my family- one by one. I can't Fred. I can't lose Snape. Not like this..." Sarah began to cry openly and Fred pulled her to him, squeezing her tightly.

"You won't. We will figure it out" Fred tried to reassure her.

"How?" Sarah responded, brokenly. "I've tried. I've cooked him dinner. I've even brewed potions for him. I came here without asking him. If he didn't follow me and drag me back home, it means that he has given up on me. He's done"

"Parents just don't give up on their kids, Sarah" Fred reminded her. "We will come up with something. Between all of us, we should be able to figure out what to do. Mione is good at things like this..." He kissed her tears before moving to her lips. But even as Sarah took comfort from Fred, they both knew that it didn't look good.

* * *

Sarah's friends didn't have any ideas either. They all knew that Snape had a difficult and stubborn side to him- one not to be trifled with. And if Sarah's efforts didn't work, they weren't sure what she could try next, besides going to him and demanding a conversation. The next morning, Sarah returned to Snape Manor to find Snape again in seclusion, much to her frustration and worry. When the day to return to Hogwarts arrived, Wiggles instructed Sarah to use the portkey to get to platform 9 3/4 and ride the train into Hogwarts, to Sarah's dismay that Snape continued to leave things unsettled. Since Snape took guardianship of her, he rarely delayed in doling out her punishments and the only time he did so was when mitigating circumstances interfered. This was not Snape and that worried her.

Sarah arrived at the train station and quickly sought out Harry- trying to juggle her trunk and bags and failing miserably. She should have shrunk them down before using the porkey, but she was afraid to anger Snape by using underage magic outside of school. Normally, he would have encouraged her with small spells such as these, but those were different times. Her bag had bonked her on her head as she entered the train platform- she was just thankful it wasn't her trunk.

"Here let me help you get those aboard- mine are already there" Harry reached for them and Sarah was thankful for his help. They boarded the train and found the compartment. "Where is Snape?" he asked her.

"Who knows?" Sarah replied as she flung herself on the seat, rubbing her head.

Harry lifted her bags and attached them to the overhead. "Well, he can't avoid you forever. You are his student. Why don't you seek him out as his student and go from there? I'm sure you could come up with a reason in the next few days to see him during his set office hours."

"That's an idea" Sarah responded. "It's just- well, to be honest, I'm kind of scared to" she admitted.

Harry grimaced. "Can't say I blame you in the least"

* * *

Snape didn't appear that night for dinner. The following day was Defense class and Sarah's stomach was in a knot as she waited outside the room.

"What's wrong with you, Black?" Draco paused while the others entered the classroom. He couldn't help but be curious about the cause behind her distraught expression and nervous demeanor. While things had been extremely tense between the two of them for some time now, the look on Sarah's face compelled him to break his silence.

"Long story" Sarah replied, shuffling her feet.

"Are you coming inside?" he asked, holding the door and trying to get a handle on the situation.

"Is Snape in there yet?" Sarah met his eyes. She tried to erase the panic from her voice.

Draco peeked his head in the classroom and nodded. "Yeah..."

"Then I'm staying here for a bit" Sarah replied. "I can't go in there right now"

Draco's eyes narrowed. "Did you and Uncle Sev have a fight or something?"

"Be careful, Draco...you are bordering on being nice here" Sarah's tone turned light, trying to distract him.

"I wouldn't want to be accused of that, Sarah" he retorted sarcastically. "I better go inside now. Just don't be late. You know what happened the last time"

"Yeah, that was pretty unpleasant. I'll be on time" Sarah assured him as she remembered that time in fourth year when Snape outed her crush on Draco in front of her entire class. She wasn't sure what Snape would have to embarrass her with, and at this point, she wasn't even sure he would care enough to do so. With one last probing look, Draco went inside and Sarah waited until Harry came.

"You haven't gone in yet?" Harry asked, incredulously. "I told you to go ahead and I would be right there. Did the others go in?"

"Yep, but I wanted to wait for you" Sarah replied. "Um, I might need you to drag me in. My Gryffindorness is hopelessly failing me right now..."

Harry smirked and grabbed her wrist. "Let's go, Sarah" He practically dragged her into the classroom and pushed her into her seat.

"We will begin" Snape started "with an assessment. I do hope that you did your reading over break because if you did not, I will surely know about it"

With a flick of his wand, the papers began to pass themselves out. "When you are done, you may leave. And yes, Miss Granger" he looked towards Hermione who had flung her hand in the air, "this does count as part of your grade, but it will also enable me to know what further work we have to do, at least as far as defense theory goes...I am fairly confident that there is much to be done"

He waited until everyone had their parchment. "You may begin"

Sarah tried to remain calm at this surprise test. She hated surprises and she did not benefit from Snape's extra coaching this past week. She just hoped she would remember all her reading. She was determined to do as well as possible to show Snape that indeed she was competent. At least, he could be proud in that, right?

She was so engrossed that she neglected to realized that all the other students had finished leaving her alone with Snape, until Snape came up behind her causing her to practically jump out of her seat.

Snape stilled. He had hoped that he could sneak behind her to check on what number she was working on without her noticing. Now he was forced to talk to her. And the look that she was giving him was a true mixture of fear, nervousness, uncertainty and...even hope.

"I was just checking on your progress" Snape said smoothly and professionally. "The others finished way earlier than anticipated so you still have about 15 more minutes. Take your time"

Sarah nodded, finishing her work. She walked to the front of the room and handed him the parchment. Gathering nerve, she asked,"Sir...?"

"That is all" Snape replied, somewhat curtly- effectively dismissing her. Sarah quickly left before he could see her tears.

* * *

"Come in, Severus" Dumbledore instructed. "Have a seat"

Severus swept in, disgruntled. He had been summoned to the Headmaster's Office and somehow he felt like a schoolboy about to be disciplined. But how would Albus know about what happened with Sarah? He certainly did not tell him, did Sarah? Surely not...

Albus wasted no time. "I got a visit from Molly Weasley today- she needed to bring Mr. Weasley some books he left behind mistakenly. Is there something you would like to tell me?"

"Not particularly" Severus answered smoothly. "If that is it, Headmaster, I best be going. I have much work to be done" he stood.

"Sit back down, Severus" Dumbledore told him, piercing him with his gaze and Snape complied, begrudgingly. "She said that Sarah came spend a day with them over break- not abnormal, but she said it was clear that something was wrong. Sarah was quite upset. When Molly questioned her, she implied that you didn't care about her. Why would she say such a thing?"

"Molly Weasley has no right to meddle in the affairs of my household" Severus retorted. "Nor do you" Snape rose again and Dumbledore stood as well.

"Sit down, Severus" his voice, firm and unyielding. "I will use a sticking charm if I need to"

"Fine" Severus sat and crossed his arms. "But I still don't have to talk to you"

Dumbledore raised an eyebrow. "You do realize that you are acting more like a boy of eleven than a man of thirty-seven?"

Severus grunted, but did not argue further and Dumbledore pressed ahead. "Did something happen with you and Sarah? Molly also mentioned that Sarah took the portkey to the train station and failed to shrink her luggage"

"Well, she certainly knows how to shrink her own luggage, if she decided against that, then it is not my responsibility if my niece is an imbecile"

"Excuse me?" Dumbledore was shocked by Severus's attitude towards his niece. "What has happened? And do not lie to me, Severus. I want the truth and I want it now"

"Fine" Severus responded. "Do you want to know what happened? Well, let me tell you Headmaster and afterwards, you can see if your precious princess is as saintly as everybody makes her out to be"

"Well, I seriously doubt that anyone would characterize Sarah as saintly, but she is a sweet, intelligent, agreeable child..and growing into a lovely woman...a thought that not too long ago you would have agreed with. Go on"

Severus told recounted the last few days, omitting few details. Albus listened attentively before asking, "And what did you do to her? Clearly, she wronged you by entering your mind deliberately and without consent...so what was her consequence?"

"She doesn't need one, Headmaster" Severus stated. "We're done. She and I...it's over"

Albus shook his head. "What are you talking about? Of course, you're not done with her. She's your niece- your adopted daughter. You love that child more than anyone now and perhaps even more than you loved Lily or Grace."

Severus stood, his fist balled. "I am about to kill you upon your orders. The rift happened naturally...let her deal with it now, that way it won't be so much of a shock to her. I'm avoiding her for _her_ benefit. I can't make amends with her and then go through this again. And she did wrong me. If that child cared for me-"

"Oh Severus" Albus's tone turned gentle. "you can't see how much Sarah adores you? I know she regrets casting that spell. You know she regrets it. Punish her and let her heal"

"I can't do that, Headmaster" Severus argued. "I will find the strength to be your man- your spy..I will do the unthinkable and end your life for you...and for Draco...but you have to allow me this... it is easier for me to complete your mission for me if I distance myself from her"

"Easier for _you_" Albus stood, his hands upon his desk. He swept around the desk to stand next to Severus, a hand on his shoulder. "But not for _Sarah_. Do you realize what she will think when you kill me?"

"She will think that I was the Dark Lord's man all along" Severus responded, swiftly. "It is the most logical conclusion"

"Maybe to one who thinks primarily with their mind, not their heart..." Albus replied. "No, Severus" Albus continued. "by ignoring her, you have left her with another alternative- she will think that she drove you to Voldemort with her actions. You would let her live with that guilt to think that this was her fault?"

Knowing the truth to his words, Severus backed away. "I can't deal with this right now. I'm sorry, Headmaster. I must go"

"I will let you go" Albus sighed. "Just promise me one thing and I will leave you alone with it. Promise me that if Sarah comes to you, you will not turn her away. When you do this for me, she mustn't even consider that her actions might have pushed you in that direction. She knows what happened when Grace married Sirius. She mustn't think the past was repeated. That might be too much for her to handle"

"Are you really concerned about Sarah?" Snape asked, "or are you just worried that Harry won't be able to defeat the Dark Lord without Sarah's help?"

"I care about Sarah...she isn't some pawn in a game" Albus argued. "You know that..."

"We are all pawns in some game..." Snape retorted. "Good night, Headmaster" With that, he swept out of the room and back to the blessed solitary of his quarters.

* * *

Another week passed and Snape remained silent towards her. The only thing that kept Sarah sane was Harry and Hermione's friendship and Fred's letters. Finally, Fred made a suggestion that Sarah couldn't believe came from him, but made perfect sense. _Ask Draco. _At this point, Snape's godson would maybe be the only one to have an idea to heal the rift. But it was tricky- could Sarah truly trust Draco? She knew he was a Death Eater- but he was also Draco. Maybe not her Draco anymore, but she refused to believe he was truly a Death Eater. Still to approach Draco in front of his Slytherin friends was dangerous. She would have to be sneaky about it.

She waited for the opportunity to sneak the note into Draco's things, but so far it had been a few days and she hadn't found the right moment...until she entered Defense class a bit earlier to find Draco studying. Snape was preparing in the front of the room and others were also there, but Draco was at the end of his table and away from other Slytherins. Feeling like she was in a 50s movie, she clumsily knocked Draco's stack of books off the counter spreading them on the floor.

"Black!" Draco snapped. "Watch what you are doing!" Snape lifted his head to watch, but Sarah's back was turned to him as she scooped down to help Draco with his books.

"I'm sorry, Draco" Sarah said as she handed him some books, slipping a note into his hand as she did so. Draco didn't miss a beat.

He gathered his books and piled them back on the table. Sarah went to her seat and opened a book and Snape went back to his preparations. Draco slowly opened the piece of parchment under the table.

_Meet me- astronomy tower-11 pm. We have to talk. SB_

Sarah met his eyes and Draco nodded once his agreement. Now, she just hoped Draco wouldn't rat her out to her professors. Otherwise she would be in humungous trouble once again.

* * *

Sarah had forgotten her gloves and it was frigid in the tower. She pulled her wool cape around her, trying to get warm as she waited for Draco. Would this be a trap? The full moon shone through the tower providing much needed light.

Draco arrive promptly about 11 pm, thankfully alone. "What is this about, Black?" he asked, wasting no time.

Sarah rubbed her hands together anxiously. "I didn't know where else to turn. It's about Snape. Since you are his godson..."

"You think I might be able to help" Draco finished for her. "You must be really desperate to come to me for help. What makes you think that after everything, I will still help you?"

"I am desperate, but I came to you because I know in spite of everything, we can't just erase our shared history" Sarah replied. "And frankly, I do trust you..."

"You trust me?" Draco asked incredulously. "Even with what you know about me?"

"But you are still Draco...you will always be Draco, not some Death Eater" Sarah shivered and Draco came to grab her hands. "Black, why do insist on always forgetting your gloves? You've done this too many times" he scolded lightly, but removed his own gloves and handed it to her. "Here take these. The inside of my coat is lined. You're shivering"

Sarah took them gratefully and put her cold hands in the oversized gloves, thankful for the heat they provided. Draco stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"Now, tell me what happened between you and Snape" Draco instructed. Sarah told him just about what she did, through not about how she questioned Snape about his true allegiance, taking care to protect both Draco and Snape.

"Snape values his privacy more than anything, Sarah. It's one thing for him to enter your mind as part of your instruction and with your consent, it's another for you to invade his like that, knowingly"

"I know I was wrong, Draco. I get that" Sarah twisted her hands, the gloves making the habit awkward. "He was just being so aggressive. I got frustrated"

"That isn't going to matter to him right now, especially if he sees it has you breaking his trust" Draco argued.

"He still doesn't have the right to ignore me for weeks on end...he is my guardian, my adopted father..." Sarah insisted. "How can he just shut down on me like this?"

"I think you have to realize that Snape is generally different with you than with others..." Draco began, but Sarah interrupted.

"He's hard on me, Draco. He has been strict and tough and at times, not all that understanding"

Draco held up his hand to silence her. "But compared to others...Snape doesn't let people get close to him. My mum is an exception and by extension me...you are an exception. You hurt him by doing this. Not to mention things are complicated with me and mum and his role as a spy. He probably feels like distance is wise right now"

"I can't be distant from him. He is all I have left, Draco. My family is dead. He is my family" Sarah rubbed her face. "Please tell me what to do"

Draco thought for a few moments, then responded. "Have you tried to go to him? Tell him that you will consent to any punishment that he deems necessary to fix this. Tell him how you feel. Make him listen to you"

"And if he doesn't?" Sarah asked. "I tried that first day of class and he shut me down, quickly"

Draco frowned, then continued. "I have an idea, but you aren't going to like it...it will be humbling to say the least"

"Go on..."

"Ask him to treat you as one of his house members"

"Meaning?" Sarah asked curiously. "Snape is definitely preferential towards his house..."

"In public" Draco pointed out pulling his coat closer to him, "Have you ever wondered how Snape commands control of his Slytherins without taking points or giving many detentions?"

"Not really" Sarah shrugged. "I know you guys respect him, but then again, I do too"

"But it is different" Draco argued. "There are different expectations for discipline, not only by Snape but by pureblooded families who believe that the old way of doing things is the best way of doing things..."

"Old ways?" Sarah asked. "Like physical punishment? Dumbledore or the board would never allow that..."

"But the Slytherin parents do give consent- often demand it as consequences" Draco replied. "It's how we do things in Slytherin House...and let's face it, we don't cross Snape often"

"But...still...aren't you too old for that kind of punishment?" Sarah asked. "Snape would spank me occasionally when I was younger, but not now"

"No, no...older students, he more takes a ruler to our hand...granted, not often...the threat in itself is enough" Draco replied. "You look doubtful"

Sarah shrugged again. "I just can't believe this is all happening without me knowing about it...if he believes in that kind of discipline, then why hasn't he tried it with me now that I'm older?"

"Say what you will about Snape" Draco said, "but he is soft when it comes to you..."

"It doesn't feel soft" Sarah mumbled. "Not with all the groundings and scoldings..." Sarah crossed her arms to warm herself. "So what you are telling me is that I should go to Snape and ask him to smack me on my hand? You seriously think that will work with him?"

Draco gave her a grin. "Well, I think it will shock him out of his silence. And then you go from there..."

"Oh Merlin" Sarah responded, with a roll of her eyes. "I just think it might work to get Snape talking...lucky me"

Draco laughed with her and then they were silent.

"We should get back" Draco said. "Before anyone catches us out on bed or each of us will be receiving discipline, whether we want to or not"

Sarah agreed, but as they were leaving, she shot out her hand to grab his arm. "Listen, Draco...I know things are hard for you right now. You didn't have to come and help me, not with everything going on"

Draco turned towards her. "I'm always here for you, Sarah. I want you to know that" he reached to gently touch her hair then dropped his hand abruptly. "Things are hard. I have to do things I would never imagine doing...things that will be impossible for me to recover from"

Sarah's heart quickened. "Are you sure there is nothing I can do to help you, Draco? You aren't a Death Eater...that's not you"

"I have the mark to prove that I am just that" Draco replied. "Its who I have to be. For my family's sake..."

"Why do things have to always be so complicated?" Sarah asked. "We are teenagers. We shouldn't be worrying about stuff like this- whether or not we will live to become adults. I want to be eleven again at Snape Manor, fighting with you...not having these grown up worries. Some nights, I lie awake just wondering if at the end of it will I even see twenty five or thirty?"

"You will live" Draco assured her."I know it"

Sarah's throat was dry. "How do you know?"

"Because you have men who would die to protect you" Draco responded, quickly and with a confidence beyond his years. "And I am one of them..."

She swallowed hard. "Thank you, Draco" she managed to get out before breaking into tears. She was with Fred now and was confident about that decision, yet still...Draco pulled at her heart. She was worried about him. Whatever Voldemort tasked him with, she knew it was bad. Would Draco be lost forever? And Snape was being pulled into it. What did that mean for him? She wished she could go back to that time where things just seemed less complicated. Snape ruled her with a firm hand, but all in all, a soft heart. He set forth expectations and consequences, but also gave her all the support and guidance she needed. She just hoped that Snape and her could recover...they had to. She had to make sure. She had already lost one father by her mistakes, she wasn't going to lose another. Even if it meant a few minutes of humility and pain...she would have to summon all her Gryffindor courage to approach Snape. But she would...and soon.

**A/N**: do you think that will shock Snape into talking to her? Or will he remain silent? It's different, but I think it fits with Snape and Sarah's character... she is desperate...Hum...and I hope the sweet scene between Sarah/Draco didn't seem forced. Thoughts? We move oversees in a week. I want to get the next chapter up and written before I leave, but we'll see.


	11. Amends

**Disclaimer**: Do not own...etc

**A/N/Warning**: Some CP (ie: smacks to the hand), but I don't think it is over the top...if you don't like, skip that part. :)

**Chapter 11: Amends**

"Come on in, Sarah" Dumbledore called to her, instructing her to enter his office. After dinner, Professor McGonagall had informed her that the Headmaster wanted to see her in his office in 20 minutes. She couldn't help but wonder what this was about, but deep down, she knew. The Headmaster had talked with Snape and he knew all about it.

"Professor McGonagall said you wanted to see me, sir" Sarah entered, somewhat shyly. "Hi Fawkes" Sarah turned to the phoenix who was trying to get her attention. She petted him gently.

"Yes, I would like to know what my great-great-great granddaughter has done now?" The portrait of Phineas Nigellus Black asked, giving her a severe look. "The male line might have ended with your father, young lady, but I expect you to carry yourself in a manner worthy of the Noble House of Black. And what you did to your uncle was disgraceful. You are supposed to treat your elders with respect. In my day, we would have..."

"Now, now, Phineas, leave Sarah alone" Dumbledore firmly intervened on her behalf, but Sarah didn't think it could get much worse. A portrait of her great-great-great grandfather was scolding her. She was a disappointment to the entire House of Black...On the other hand, if Sirius was alive, he would have probably thought it was hilariously funny. Still right now, in Dumbledore's office, it was anything but amusing. "She and I would like some privacy to this conversation, please"

"Alright" he responded. "But if you need help, just call" He left, presumably to go to the house on Grimmauld Place.

"Now then, have a seat" Dumbledore gestured to the seats in front of his desk. "Lemon drop, my dear?"

"No thank you sir" Sarah responded, sitting and crossing her legs, smoothing down her skirt. She shifted slightly in her chair, feeling that she was awaiting Dumbledore's judgement...and that was an uncomfortable feeling indeed. While Dumbledore often seemed like a grandfather to her, he was intimidating at times.

"I had a hard time sleeping last night, Sarah" Dumbledore folded his hands on his desk. "I took a walk. I went as far as the astronomy tower and imagine my surprise when I heard voices floating down from the top of the tower. Familiar voices...yours...and Mr. Malfoy, I presume"

Sarah gulped. This situation was going from bad to worse. Dumbledore knew about her and Draco after hours. "Sir, I can explain..."

Dumbledore's gaze was stern. "Then do so"

"You are aware of the situation between Dad and myself?" Sarah asked and Dumbledore nodded.

"We will talk of that in another minute" Dumbledore instructed. "Continue"

"Well, I figured no one knows Dad better than Draco. But I had to talk with him in secret with...well, you know his situation..." Sarah's voice trailed to a whisper.

"Your uncle has preformed his duties as a spy well...though, we have decided to keep that secret from the other Order members..." Albus informed her. "I expect discretion from you in that regards"

Sarah nodded. "It would have been dangerous for both of us if his family got wind of it" she felt very much like she wanted to cry because of the disapproving look Dumbledore was giving her. "Are you going to take house points? Are you going to tell Snape?" Sarah tried not to show him the panic she felt.

"No, I don't think so" Dumbledore responded, eyes on her. "It will remain between the two of us. I understand your motives behind needing seclusion"

Sarah breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you"

"I assume you got the information necessary to make amends with your uncle?" Dumbledore asked. "I would like to see this situation resolved between the two of you"

"I hope it will work, sir" Sarah twisted her hands. "I will try...I know I should have never used that spell" She hung her head, embarrassed.

Dumbledore rose to sit in the chair next to her. He patted her knee. "Maybe it would help if you told me why you think you did so"

"Snape was being overly...aggressive in his training" Sarah admitted. "I lost my temper. I just wanted him to feel what I was feeling at that moment"

"And did that satisfy you?" Dumbledore asked, calmly.

"No far from it...I feel terrible about it. I love Snape as my father. And I know my actions hurt him. I will do anything to make it better" Sarah said, adamantly.

"I'm glad to hear that" Albus responded. "I know you will do your best to amend the situation. But when you go to Severus for discipline, you must be prepared to stand up to him, especially when he tries to shut you off"

"I know" Sarah sighed. She paused, "Is there a reason you can think of why I shouldn't trust my uncle, Professor?"

"I trust Severus Snape with my life" Dumbledore's voice was quiet and soothing. "He is a changed man from those memories, Sarah. I believe in him"

Still, Albus could tell Sarah seemed disturbed. "And Draco?" Sarah bit her lip. "Do you know of his task?"

"That I cannot discuss with you" Dumbledore answered gravely. "Your uncle and I have the situation in hand, child. Do not interfere."

"Draco is not bad, Professor. I hate that he is being pulled in" Sarah slumped slightly.

"Do you still care for Mr. Malfoy?" he asked gently.

"I do care for him...as a friend" she replied. "I will always see him as the boy who found me and consoled me minutes after Snape told me my mum had died. That Draco is still in him...Voldemort's mark has not taken that from him..."

"I hope not" Dumbledore replied. "As long as Draco has friends, who will stand next to him..."

Sarah grew quiet and Dumbledore could tell she was processing the information. He stood. "Well, Sarah, did you bring your wand?"

"Yes, sir, why?" she asked, curious.

"Your uncle told me before break that you were close to achieving the summoning spell using wandless magic. Let's see if we can work on it together"

"Really?" Sarah's face brightened up and Dumbledore chuckled at her enthusiasm.

"Indeed. It is a good idea...and while you are here for a visit, might as well practice for a few minutes..." he told her.

And they did. After a few minutes with Dumbledore's instruction, Sarah accomplished the task, much to both of their delight.

* * *

Sarah took deep breaths. She knew this was insane, but she was a mess. Snape's silence spoke words to her about the hurt and betrayal he felt. And he had been so good to her. He had been her father in every way for the past 6 years. She couldn't stand the distance- not any longer. She knocked on the door to his office. It was a quiet knock, but Snape heard it anyway.

"Enter" Snape's voice barked. His tone was not inviting, but she was stuck now. Sarah turned the door handle and stepped into the office. She walked the few steps to stand in front of Snape's desk, piled high with parchments. She could tell he was grading the essays the NEWT students had turned in...if grading was the appropriate term for the parchments that bled with scribbles and comments. No, he was destroying their essays one by one, with a flourish that only Snape could pull off. This was not a good sign for his frame of mind. But she knew she couldn't run away. Otherwise, she might never attempt this again.

"Sir- might I have a word with you, please?" She forced her voice to remain calm though her heart was pounding fiercely. It felt like it would beat right out of her chest.

Snape didn't look up from his parchments he was grading. "I'm busy, Black" he answered stiffly and continued scratching comments on the essays, a deep frown upon his face.

Sarah balled up her fists in determination. She couldn't let Snape ignore her any longer.

"Too busy for your daughter?" Sarah challenged. "Or just too angry to talk to me? It's been weeks. Haven't you ignored me long enough?"

Snape continued writing.

"Look, I'm sorry. But I'm the kid here and you are the adult, so start acting like one instead of sulking"

The quill stopped writing, but Snape still did not look up. "You are less than a year from being of age" Snape said, darkly. "You are old enough now to know right from wrong"

"Yes, sir, I know that" Sarah took another breath. "And I am trying to make it right"

Snape remained silent, but did not move. Sarah realized that Snape was giving her the slightest of openings or perhaps he was still debating what to do. She had to find her courage and now.

Another deep breath. "I want you to treat me like your Slytherins" her voice was quiet, but firm. "If you can't treat me as your daughter now, treat me like a student from your house that you have given so many chances to and kept messing things up"

Severus slowly sat down his quill, laying it as well as the essay he was working on aside. Sarah's heart jumped as he raised his head to look at her. Draco was right. That got his attention. He searched her face and waited for an explanation, still not speaking, but his message was clear. _Where did you learn of that?_

"I had a discussion with Draco" Sarah explained, somewhat tentative as she knew she had to protect Draco in this discussion as well.

Snape spoke. "_With Draco?"_ The question was sharp-edged and Sarah could feel his disapproval as if he was saying to her: _That was risky & could have compromised everything. _Still, he didn't vocalize his concern with it and she almost wished he did. She had quickly learned that Snape holding back his thoughts and feelings meant trouble for her.

"I was discreet" Sarah defended her actions. "And I only told him what I did after I questioned you. I was careful to protect both you and Draco. And...really, I didn't know who else to turn to. He is your godson and he has known you longer. I felt I could trust him. Is that wrong?"

Snape remained silent and Sarah had to lean against the back of the chair to stop her legs from shaking. She held onto the top of it, gripping it tightly. She took another breath and forced them back to the topic at hand, "He told me your Slytherin code of discipline. So treat me like a Slytherin" She shrugged, but tears sprang to her eyes. "If that will make you forgive me and help us move on, then please just do so..I'm willing to try anything. Just get on with it"

Snape tapped his desk, almost impatiently. "You are not a Slytherin and as such must be treated differently from them"

Sarah, once again, had to fight back the deep hurt she was feeling. She was bring to the forefront what has always caused a bit of tension between the two of them. Some of it came in the form of teasing, but Sarah knew that Snape had always been a little sore by the sorting hat's decision. And Sarah had always been more than sensitive about Snape's prejudice against her house. She knew some of it was due to his role of a spy, but she also knew that was also a convenient cover for him.

"Oh, come off of it, Dad" Sarah snapped, momentarily forgetting her determination to remain calm and respectful as the hurt and frustration she had felt in the past weeks coming to the surface. "What could they have that I don't? Do you really see them as so much superior to me? The sorting hat considered placing me in Slytherin, for Merlin's sake. If there was any debate, then clearly I'm not all that different than them"

"Well, for one" Snape growled, placing his palms on his desk and pushing himself up. "they have been taught to respect their elders and those in authority. You are being awfully bold for one determined to be chastised"

"At this point, what do I have to lose?" Sarah tried to even out her voice, but it tremored slightly.

Snape straightened and walked around his desk to stand closer to her. "Before you get yourself too riled up, do allow me to finish, Black" He crossed his arms and leaned against the front of his desk. "You misunderstood my words. While you would have thrived in our house, you still remain, in your very nature, different from them-they are a proud lot, from families used to the old ways. And while I have spanked you before and am firm with you, you also require more than just discipline. As their head, I can be distant, objective with them- with you, it's personal…my discipline techniques are tailored specifically for your needs, I will not sway from them"

"Yes" Sarah met his eyes. "But you are reluctant to do _anything _now"

"Clearly endless groundings have been ineffective" Snape told her. "You continue on making the same poor choices"

"Oh, clearly" Sarah retorted. "If you really feel that way, then why not try this? You often tell me that you never want me to be consumed with guilt, but I am…I know I hurt you, but what you are doing right now is not right either"

"You think so?" Snape scowled. "Do tell me, Black. How do my actions displease you?"

"You really need me to tell you?" Sarah shook her head. "I don't think you do. You promised me six years ago that you would be my dad. You promised me a few months ago that you would never give up on me so I'm asking you to please help us get past it. Scold me, discipline me, just do not ignore me any longer" her voice grew stronger as she placed a hand on her hip, "If you don't help me, I swear to you- I will go to Dumbledore for it….and if he doesn't, I will go to freakin you- know- who if that would make you talk to me again. Though I'm sure Voldemort won't just smack me on the hand with a ruler, now will he?"

"Well, now…" he chided, fighting to maintain his firmness when he really wanted to laugh at the scowl upon her face, "you don't have to be so theatrical about it"

"Well, if I am being theatrical" the scowl grew deeper, "I come by it honestly, Mr. 'I'm going to stay in my room for a week without coming out'"

Now, Snape's scowl returned. "Watch yourself, Black"

Sarah let out her breath slowly, fighting the urge to stomp her foot at his attitude. Taking another one, she managed to calm her temper. "I'm sorry sir, but it's been difficult...this..." she waved her arms, "tension between us"

He studied her carefully for a few moments, touching his fingers together. "However, you are correct in some regards…you do deserve punishment. You knew of the incident with Potter and you knew that the spell would result in you invading my mind without my consent. And you chose to do it anyway. Completely unacceptable, Black. I have been so angry and frustrated that I felt that I couldn't move past it. The Headmaster advised to punish you and move on…but even punishing you, that was an act of a father…and I didn't know if I wanted to be the father to someone who could behave in such a reckless and insensitive way"

Sarah knew she deserved that comment, but still it stung her more than anything else he could ever say to her. She squeezed her eyes shut briefly as she turned her head away from him and took a deep, shuddering breath. She would let him speak and not argue back.

Snape saw the intense look of pain on her face from that comment. She turned her face away as if he had struck her. This was the moment when he had to make his decision. Turn her away now forever or be her father for a few months longer.

But as he was trying to find the words necessary to turn her away, he remembered Grace's face as she asked her to care and love her daughter in her absence. He remembered the moment when after Sarah's nightmare that first summer he first told her that he loved her. And Sarah's smile as she drifted into sleep after her telling him that she loved him too. He recalled the night last summer when Fred brought her home and he vowed to his distraught daughter that he would never give up on her no matter what darkness she found herself in. He promised to help her. And here he was only a few months later standing here considering breaking that promise and severing their relationship for good.

Then he realized that while there was truth to his words, he couldn't destroy her. When he ended the Headmaster's life, Sarah must be sure of one thing: his actions had nothing to do with her and his regard for her. He loved her as his daughter and he always would.

"Sarah, look at me" Snape's tone momentarily eased in harshness. Her head turned back towards him and once she did, he gestured to her to sit.

"However grievous your behavior" he added quietly and held her eyes with his, " I _am_ your father and this conversation has been long overdue, so sit, Sarah Grace and we will talk"

Relief flooded her. The silence on the subject was broken. _Finally_...

"Don't act so relieved. I'm angry with your actions" Snape told her, matter-of-factually, as Sarah sat on the couch in his office. "This won't be pleasant. Are you prepared to take my censure?"

Sarah bit her lip, knowing from experience that Snape's words were true. "It has to be better than the weeks of silence, right?"

Snape raised his eyebrow and Sarah grimaced. "Go ahead, Dad...I deserve your worst."

And Snape was determined to oblige her. He began pacing as he spoke his mind to her. "When Potter used the shield spell, he was unaware of its effects. He told you of the memories that he saw- memories that are highly painful not only for me to relive, but to have other people be privy of them. And what you did by casting that spell- knowing from Harry that it would invoke those memories- was cruel and heartless. I'm thoroughly…" Snape punctuated the word, "…thoroughly ashamed of you"

Sarah hung her head, embarrassed to the core by Snape's censure and herself ashamed of the darkness that lied in her heart.

Snape continued, "After the incident with Draco, I could have come down hard on you- I could have degraded you for it. I knew very well that you didn't have sex with Draco and believed you fully when you said you wouldn't, but maybe I should have made you take a pregnancy test every day until you had your cycle again just to prove to me that you were not sleeping around. But I chose to be sensitive to your feelings. I foolishly expected the same out of my daughter"

Sarah rubbed her hands on her face, focusing on her temples as Snape continued on, laying on the guilt like only Snape could. "You are the one person I love most in this world. You know that I am not an affectionate person. You know that I hold things in- that I keep people at arms length. But I allowed myself to become attached to you. And this is how you repay me?"

"I wasn't thinking" Sarah knew her excuse was feeble. Of all the lectures in the past six years, this one was by far the worst and the most painful to get through- and that was saying something.

"Still you created quite a few accusations beforehand as well, which lead to that moment. Did it surprise you that some of your accusations hit the mark? Yes, I was ashamed of your behavior, but my silence is also the result of being ashamed of the darkness that you also saw in those memories. I am a Death Eater, Sarah. The Dark Arts are an allure to me- they always have been"

"No!" Sarah's head shot up as she rose to her feet. She knew she was supposed to be silent and take his lecture, but she couldn't be silent to what he just said. She stopped his pacing, reaching to grasp his arm tightly. "You are a _spy_ for Dumbledore. Your obsession with the dark arts is long past…"

Even though he was surprised that Sarah would touch him at that moment while giving her perhaps the sternest, most scathing scolding of their relationship, he didn't shrug her off.

"You are so extraordinarily like your mother in your devotion to maintaining my goodness" Severus remarked dryly. "But this is not about me. My sins- past, present and future will have to be dealt with later. This is about you. You were right- I promised six years go, to be your father. I promised to hold you accountable for your actions in hopes of developing your character into a honorable, intelligent, lovely woman. And I promised I would never let you be consumed by your guilt. So, Sarah Grace..." Sarah dropped her hand and Snape crossed his arms. "I want you to tell me how you think I should proceed"

Sarah's stomach dropped. She wanted it over and now, but she _really _didn't want Snape to smack her. That sounded horrible now that she was confronted with it...Draco and his brilliant ideas...yes, she got Snape's attention, but now he was waiting to see if she would follow through. She remembered Dumbledore's words not to back down.

Her voice was hoarse and her throat felt parched as she licked her dry lips. She rubbed her hands over her face and sighed. "Do you really feel like groundings and essays and such have been ineffective or were you just trying to make me feel bad?"

Snape raised an eyebrow. "You are still doing things to get you in trouble, are you not?"

She sighed, knowing if Snape truly believed that, then a new grounding and more essays weren't a viable choice. But she didn't want to be the one to decide. She just wanted things to be over with.

"I deserve what you decide to give me. I just don't want to drag it out any longer. I want it dealt with now and over with" Sarah wanted very much to lean in for a hug right now, but she knew she would have to wait. Tears stung her eyes. "I am so very sorry, sir…" her voice cracked and she felt thoroughly chastised by his words- them perhaps hurting her more than any physical punishment, "you know I love you very much. I can't take the rift between us, knowing that is my doing. Please do what you think is best to make it better"

Snape studied her face. He knew she was struggling and she knew that the words she spoke was true. He had promised her that he would never let her dwell in her guilt and here they were weeks later. It was time to end this and end it now.

"Very well" he sighed, resigned. "You asked to be treated as a member of my House and I will honor your wishes. Go to my desk. Top right drawer. Bring it back here to me"

Sarah obeyed, knees shaking. She handed him the blasted ruler and held out her hand, trying to be a Gryffindor. If those Slytherins can do this, than certainly she can do. She prayed it would be quick and that Snape would offer her his comfort in the end.

Snape's seven smacks across her hand smarted terribly. She tried to be stoic, but just ended up crying anyway. Each smack was proceeded and followed by a lecture- stern and unyielding questions that expected an answer.

_Did you know that casting the spell would result in seeing those memories?_

"Yes sir"

The crack vibrated off the wall and initially startled her more than the pain. Then the stung struck and before she could stop herself, Sarah hid her hand behind her back, shaking it out. Damn it, why did she have to do that? She had been determined to take it bravely.

"For Merlin's sake, Black" Severus chided, his eyes meeting hers that were clouded with tears already. "You have been cursed with the cruciatus and faced the pain bravely. Are you telling me that one smack to your hand with a ruler is too much for you? If my Slytherins can take it with dignity, then so can you"

"Don't do that" Sarah's eyes flashed.

"Do what?" Severus asked.

"Don't degrade me" her voice became stronger as Snape's words made her angry.

"I'm not, Sarah" Severus answered her firmly. "I'm merely trying to encourage you. Now, be a good girl and put your hand out again before I decide that you are acting more like a first year and turn you over my knee"

"You wouldn't do that" Sarah looked at him skeptically.

"Oh, try me" Severus answered.

"Alright, alright" Sarah managed to snake her hand to her side. "How many more?"

"Six, I think" Severus warned her and Sarah grimaced. "Six?" she asked. Who knew that one could sting so badly?

"Seven total" Snape explained. "For each year of trust you unraveled with that one action and one extra to remember it by"

Still, Sarah hesitated and she gave him such a pathetic look that Snape had to strengthen his resolve as well.

"Now, Sarah Grace" his voice was compelling firm, but not overly harsh.

"I know, I know" she responded. "I'm sorry. I'm trying to be brave, but I'm failing right now...give me a second"

Snape frowned. "You'll be fine. This is punishment- it isn't supposed to be easy for you. It will be over soon"

"And can I have snuggle time afterwards?" she asked. "My hand is not going up unless you promise to hold me"

At that, Severus rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically. "Snuggle time, indeed. My Slytherin sixth years _never_ ask to be hugged"

"Well" Sarah shot back, a toss of her head. "I'm your daughter. And I like to be cuddled"

"Yes you are. You will get what you need afterwards, I promise" Severus's eyes held hers and in that moment, Sarah saw a flash of pain and hesitation and for a moment, she wondered if this was hurting Snape as well. But from his words, she also knew his acceptance was coming and that helped her conjure her determination again.

She forced her hand out, her Gryffindor pride smarting more than her hand right now.

He continued with his lecturing.

_And you chose to do so anyway?_

"Yes sir"

_Does it make you proud to behave in a way that is such a degradation to your character- the character I have spent the past six years trying to develop?_

"No, of course not"

_Would you want me looking at your most private memories?_

"Well, technically you have…and that is what you were trying to do when I cast the shield"

_By training you…should I stop preparing you in your fight with the Dark Lord?_

"No, sir"

_Do you understand how much I love you? Do you understand what I would do for you- what I am going to have to do for you?_

Sarah couldn't bring herself answer the last question- the shame was so intense and painful- more painful than if Snape smacked her 100 times with the stupid ruler. Snape viewed her expression and knew his message came across loud and clear. He stopped and forcibly threw the ruler across the room, it hitting the wall with a thud.

"Damn it, Sarah…don't ever, ever do anything like that again…you are better than that."

"I'm sorry" Sarah sobbed, swiping her hand against her tears. "I should have never cast that spell. I knew from Harry what the results would be-I just got so angry with the way you were acting" She bent forward to rest the top of her head on his chest- still an arms length from him. "Please, please, please forgive me" She begged.

"Don't I always say once it is over, it is over?" Snape sighed and lifted her head up so he could pulled her into him, wrapping his strong, steady arms securely around her.

"Shhh, I have you" He patted her back gently. "Don't carry on so"

"But I'm a horrid person" Sarah moaned. "I hate myself, I do"

" I don't think you are a horrid person" Snape responded as he gently distangled her. He wiped the tears from her face and squeezed her shoulders.

"Come" Taking her by the arm, he lead her to the couch. "Let's sit for a while. Rest your head on my shoulder and let me attempt to put this in perspective for you"

He let her snuggle up against him. He knew that regardless of how he felt of her actions, her ego had taken a hit right then- his form of discipline had been humbling. While Potter would have and many of his Slytherins have benefited from being taken down a notch or two, Sarah had always been insecure- perhaps a result of years of growing up without a father and losing both her parents at such a young age.

"Now then" Snape reached his hand around her shoulders and lifted it up to stroke the side of her head, comforting her gently. "while you were in the wrong, I do have to admit, I pushed you too hard in your occlumency lesson...granted, that does not excuse this behavior, but I was rougher with you than I should have been"

Sarah stifled a sob, hitching her breath, trying to compose herself. At sixteen, it was kind of embarrassing that she did need this to get herself together again, but she did. "Thank you for that"

Snape nodded. "And I suppose while I'm being completely honest with you, I shouldn't have ignored you for so long. I should have walked away, gotten my temper under control and went back to deal with you that night. I'm sorry, I let things go for so long. I wasn't behaving in a way that a father should, and I am sorry"

"So" Sarah pulled away slightly, "Can I smack your hand with the ruler?" she asked impishly.

Snape chuckled. "I think not, though I think the Headmaster was sorely tempted to do so"

"Really?" Sarah dropped her head back and smiled at that thought.

Snape nodded. "He was quite frustrated with me"

Sarah lifted her head. "Speaking of Dumbledore, he summoned me to his office to talk"

"Really?" Snape asked. "What did he say?"

"He encouraged me to make things right with you" Sarah explained.. "And he helped me with something. I have something to show you. But I need to get myself together first so I can focus"

"Take your time" Snape's voice remained gentle and Sarah was thankful that while Snape could be so stern and unyielding, after it all, he comforted well. All those times after punishment, Snape really did border on sweet, but she would never dare tell Snape that. The ruler might come back out again...

"OK, I'm ready" After few minutes, she jumped up and pulled out her wand from her pocket and threw it on Snape's desk.

Sarah wiped her eyes, determined. Snape watched her, curiously.

"Accio, wand" Sarah's wand flew towards her. She threw it back behind her on the couch. "Accio, Sarah's essay"

Sarah's graded essay flew to her hands and Snape reached up and snatched it from her. "I see the Headmaster coached you well. Nicely done, Sarah Grace. We will continue to work on your training"

"Can I see my essay?" Sarah asked, giving Snape her best "daddy's little girl" look.

"Tomorrow" Snape responded firmly, "When I return them to the class. However, I will say...compared to your classmates, if was definitely a strong piece of work"

"Alright" Sarah flopped back on the couch, resting her head back on Snape's shoulder. They stayed silent for several minutes before Sarah spoke.

"Can I ask you a question, sir?" she asked and Snape grunted his consent.

"If this is how you discipline your Slytherins, why did you never threaten me with it before?" she asked, curiosity getting the better of her.

"Do you prefer this discipline over groundings and essays?" Snape asked, amused as Sarah adamantly shook her head.

"Well, for one, the occasions which warranted it in the past three years-"

"You mean Umbridge, Department of Mysteries, and Draco" Sarah supplied for him...

"your natural consequences far outweighed that type of punishment" Snape told her seriously. "I wasn't about to smack you on the hand that Umbridge made you cut into time after time...and you were so broken up over your father's death, it didn't seem warranted either. Your punishments needed to help you process the events, which made groundings which kept you close by me and essays which helped you work through the events, fit better with what I wanted to accomplish"

"So, Draco's explanation of you being soft..."

"Is ridiculous" Snape finished for her, though while he would have never told Sarah this, was actually close to being correct. Her face while he was punishing her was almost too much for him to bear.

"I thought so" Sarah replied. "I'm sorry I didn't take it as well as your Slytherins. That must have been somewhat of a disappointment for you" She sighed.

Snape had to bite his tongue to keep himself from laughing. "I only said that to spark your temper so you would put your hand back up and we could continue. Actually, you did quite well. Even the most stoic tend to fall to pieces before it's all over. I didn't have to use a staying charm to keep your hand up there"

Sarah laughed. "I think we might have been headed there until I made you promise to hug me"

"Indeed" Snape put his hand up to smooth down her hair. "Actually, I must say I was proud of the way you carried yourself. I scolded you quite harshly and you bore it well"

"So" Sarah stretched her legs and then crossed her feet. "I could have been a Slytherin..."

"Absolutely" Snape assured her. "I don't see you as lessor just because the sorting hat placed you in Gryffindor. In fact, I'm starting to see the benefits in it. You are quite the handful...let Minerva deal with it. I can only imagine the type of trouble you would have gotten into if you had Zambini and Malfoy conspiring with you. I would have gotten so many more gray hairs"

Sarah rolled her eyes. "And you told me I was theatrical earlier..."

Snape smacked her knee and Sarah giggled. They fell silent once again. Sarah's mind wandered to the conversation she and Draco had, trying to process it.

"You seem troubled, Sarah" Snape sensed her mood change. "What is it?"

"Draco said he would die protecting me" she whispered. "he was really sweet to me"

"I see" Snape responded, quietly. "And how did that make you feel?"

"Confused" Sarah sighed. "How can someone be really kind and caring, yet still follow Voldemort's orders?"

"I'm not sure, Sarah Grace" Severus replied, his arm back around her shoulders.

"I'm just thankful that you are really on our side, Dad. And that things are made right between us. I wouldn't know what I would do if things were different. You are really all I have left"

Snape's throat felt dry as he stroked her hair. "I love you, Sarah" They sat there for a good long while, Snape's arm around Sarah. She eventually nodded off to sleep, but Severus made no attempt to move her.

But as Snape sat there, he had a powerful, gripping thought. He was a hypocrite. He punished Sarah for her betrayal to him when his betrayal to her would be much more powerful and much more damaging. And when that happened, her reaction was sure to be one for the record books. He would have to brace himself for he knew that Sarah would be angry...and rightfully so.

A/N: Hopefully this read well! I'm glad they got it all sorted out for at least now..what did you all think? Snape was awfully tough on her...which might just come back and haunt him. And while, it might be a month or so before I can start writing again, there is much more to write, so I won't give up on it. Up next: Harry and Draco's fight, and Snape has a special gift for Sarah...And after that: Dumbledore, Draco and Snape...:( :( Sorry it might take a while, please stick with me...and in the meantime, let me know what you think!


	12. The Relative Calm Before the

**A/N: **So we are officially on the other side of the ocean and settling in. Sorry for the long delay, but hopefully this chapter will make up for it! It feels great to be able to write again...Let me know what you think!

**Disclaimer**: Don't own...at all! Just write to amuse myself...

**Chapter 12: The (relative) calm before the...**

After a while, Snape cleared his throat rather loudly. The noise startled Sarah, forcing her awake.

"Did I fall asleep?" she asked, somewhat sheepishly.

"You did" Snape responded. "You were so peaceful, but it is still early and I want you to sleep tonight"

With another gentle stroke of her hair, he pulled away. Gripping her shoulders, he turned her towards him so he could study her face. He searched it for reassurance that she was calm and comforted and ready to move on. The anguish was gone, but he could still tell she wasn't quite herself.

"Are you alright?" he asked, kindly.

"I think so" Sarah replied, her voice a bit shaky from the events that proceeded. Snape was tough. She thanked Merlin that she wasn't sorted into Slytherin. McGonagall was strict in her own right (her disapproving looks and purse of her looks were enough to force most Gryffindors into repentance), but nothing like Snape. And Snape was right. The way he disciplined her previously had taken on a different tone than the way he treated his Slytherins.

Snape grunted and stood up. He reached down to grab both of her hands and pull her up beside him. "Let's go"

"Where are we going?" Sarah asked, curiously.

"Back to our quarters" he answered and at her concerned look, he quickly clarified. "You aren't grounded, it's done. I just want you close by tonight"

"Are you concerned I'm going to fall apart once I leave you?" she asked. "I'm sixteen years old. I'm not helpless"

"Careful, Sarah" Snape retorted. "My wishes imply no such thing. After weeks of sending you away, I'm not inclined to send you away tonight. Does that explanation suffice?" He paused. "Since you are not grounded, however, you may choose to go back to your dorm if you would like"

"No, no" Sarah quickly responded. "I want to stay with you."

"Good" Snape gestured for her to lead the way. Once there, Snape called for Wiggles, who saw Sarah with him and started beaming not even attempting to hide her pleasure.

"Wiggles, can you bring Sarah's work- her texts..." Snape looked at Sarah for clarification.

"Transfiguration and Potions" Sarah requested. "Books and notes...and pajamas for tonight, please- oh and maybe that novel that Hermione loaned me. It's on my nightstand"

"Gladly, Mistress Sarah" Wiggles replied. "And can I just say that I am so thankful that you two have made things right? I was so worried. I was telling Dobby that you never are silent for that long. I was sure something terrible must have happened. And you are both so dear" Wiggles shook her head mournfully, before swiping her hands. "It's about time. It seems that you both have the same stubborn Prince streak. Miss Eileen and Miss Grace had it too, you know"

"Yes well" Snape cleared his throat and Sarah tried to suppress a giggle."I'm glad this resolution makes you feel better" He nudged Sarah forward and she took a seat on the coach.

"And if you wouldn't mind...Sarah needs some food. More than a snack- could you go to the kitchens and find her leftovers from tonight's dinner?" He asked.

"Dad" Sarah protested. "I'm not really hun..." she stopped talking at Snape's silencing glare.

"Maybe some tea and bread pudding too, Miss Sarah?" Wiggles suggested, intervening quickly. They had just made peace, she didn't want them to squabble again.

Sarah nodded. "Yes, thank you" Wiggles left to do their bidding and Snape sat in his chair.

"You have been picking at your food for the past two weeks" Snape raised an eyebrow at her. "Even if you are distressed about the events of your life, you still have to eat. It will help you to keep up your strength"

"You noticed that?" Sarah asked, incredulously.

"You don't think that I was still watching you?" Snape asked, his eyes set on hers. "Just because I was angry at you didn't mean I stopped caring for your health and well being. I will always look out for you, Sarah Grace. _No matter what_" he punctuated the last words with such emphasis that Sarah's stomach twisted in knots. She pushed down those feelings quickly though. Snape and her had just made peace, she wasn't going to go there, questioning Snape's loyalties. Not tonight.

Wiggles brought food and her books and Sarah found her appetite again, eating all the food Wiggles brought her. Then they spent the evening in their quiet rhythm- Snape in his chair grading, Sarah studying from the couch, breaking the silence to ask him a few questions and looking up from her work occasionally just to smile at him. She was so pleased that she had her Snape back. She hadn't fully realized how attached she had become to him- how much she viewed him as a father and how much his presence was ingrained in her life. She never wanted to fight like that with Snape again- _ever_. She needed him. It was as simple as that.

* * *

"Come now, wake up" Snape forced sternness in his tone. Sarah opened an eye to look at him, a Snape-ish scowl forming. She was sorely tempted to throw a pillow at him for the disturbance, but she didn't think his good will after their make up extended _that_ far.

A small smile escaped before Snape could contain it. "Did you not wish to go to Hogsmeade today?" he asked, changing the smile quickly to a smirk. "Or would you prefer to go without a shower with your hair sticking up..."

Sarah bolted upright in bed. "Why didn't you wake me up sooner?" she fought to keep the whine out of her voice, but didn't quite succeed. "Of course I need a shower. And I have no idea what to wear. And my clothes are back in the dorm. And..." She stopped when she realized that Snape was laughing at her.

"I don't find it funny Dad" Sarah responded, stiffly.

Snape leaned to kiss her head. "Of course not, Sarah Grace. Tell me what you want to wear and I will call Wiggles and have her retrieve those clothes. you can shower here. Your clothes will be here when you get out"

Sarah thought for a moment. "Jean skirt, brown tights, knee high brown boots, pink turtle neck sweater...blue peacoat with bright pink knit set"

Snape shook his head. "Wear pants, Sarah. It's cold out. That skirt is short for this weather. Or at least, I'm pretty sure, it is" He inclined his head and Sarah became aware of his implications.

"I don't shorten my skirts behind your back, Snape" Sarah crossed her arms and Snape glared at her. Sarah withered under his stern look."Ok, at least not often...and it's not like I make them all that short..."

"We will talk about that later when we have more time...still, it is chilly and I think since you will be outside jeans or corduroy pants would be better choice. I'm insisting this time"

"Are you going to try to choose all my outfits now?" Sarah glared. "I'm not a little kid!"

"No, I'm simply providing fatherly guidance" Snape retorted. "And I'm sure you will look fine for your date with Mr. Weasley without your short skirt. Best not to let him have any ideas..."

Sarah raised an eyebrow. "What makes you think Fred will be able to meet me?" she asked, trying to sound casual.

Snape chuckled. "You wouldn't be nearly as frantic if you were simply going around with Potter and Granger nor would you consider wearing a skirt in freezing weather with snow on the ground..."

Sarah placed a hand on her hip. "Are you saying that I normally look like a mess?" Hurt crept into her tone, causing Snape to quickly backtrack in attempts to soothe her pride, knowing well how sensitive her teenage feelings could be- got that from her mother.

"No of course not, Sarah" Snape quickly replied, contrite.

Sarah smirked. "Got you...You're right..I normally wouldn't care"

Snape swatted her. "Go on, now before I decide you are getting a bit to cheeky for your own good..." Snape warned. "I might be sorely tempted to treat you as I would my Slytherins again..."

Sarah turned at the door to her lavatory. "But you wouldn't. I saw your face when you were disciplining me"

"Yes, much to my displeasure after 6 years as your guardian, you have finally succeeded in making me soft, Black" Snape responded, dramatically. "Perish the thought..."

Sarah swiftly shook her head. "Not really. I still wouldn't want to cross you. I'm going to be good from now on...no reason to even think about that...that way you can maintain your image and I wouldn't have to worry about that blasted ruler"

"We'll see" Snape responded, with a wave. "You better get moving. You have about 30 minutes until you leave"

Sarah let out a shriek. "Why didn't you say something?" She rushed into the bathroom and closed the door. Seconds later, Snape heard the shower turn on. Even with Sarah's teenage girl habits, he was glad she was back. At least for a while...He grimaced. This was only getting harder and harder. However, he was determined that Sarah would be prepared- he had a potion to make today.

* * *

Sarah shrugged off her coat and twisted off her scarf, draping both on the back of their chair. Hermione, Harry, Fred and George and her were clustered around a table in the Three Broomsticks.

Fred squeezed her hand, then dropped it to move his hand up along her leg.

_I guess that was the reason Snape wanted me to wear pants_. Sarah thought to herself with a smile.

The others were chatting about what to order, when Fred leaned over and whispered into her ear. "You look better"

"Hum" Sarah shivered slightly at the attention, a blush creeping up. "I have alot to tell you" She had filled Harry and Hermione in on some of it, giving them a vague version of the story leaving out the main details...but really wanted to tell Fred everything. She always wanted to tell Fred everything.

"You okay still staying here for a drink?" Fred asked. "Then we can go off on our own...or we can leave now if you want"

"Absolutely" Sarah replied, "but I need to go visit the loo. Order for me, please?"

Fred moved his hand out of her way. "Butterbeer for you?" he asked as she rose.

Spontaneously, Sarah leaned down to wrap her arms around his neck, leaning over his shoulder to kiss his cheek. "Yes, please. I'll be back" Fred reached for her hands and kissed them, before Sarah straightened, squeezing his shoulders once before leaving. The others nodded at her.

She went and used the facilities. It was crowded outside the entrance to the lavatories and Sarah bumped into a body on her way out.

"Sorr- Draco" Sarah stopped and Draco pulled her into the corner, away from the view of the tables.

"Black" Draco studied her face. "I just wanted to make sure you were OK. You saw Snape last night, didn't you?"

"I did" Sarah made a face at him and leaned against the wall as Draco moved closer to allow people to squeeze past them.

"And?" Draco smirked at her look. "How is your hand this morning?"

"Better, Mr. Malfoy" Sarah admitted. "But it makes me bloody glad I'm not a Slytherin..."

"You would have been fine, Black" Draco responded. "Still, I didn't half think you would go through with it, but then I remembered it was you and pretty sure you would...Snape was shocked, I'm sure"

"He was...and it surprisingly took a bit of convincing for him to actually treat me that way...apparently, I'm different. I think I was quite the mess"

"We all are when it comes to Snape's discipline, though we all try to hide it well. I'm sure you weren't worse than any of us" Draco reassured her, pushing a piece of stray hair out of her face. The intimate gesture startled her and Draco quickly dropped his hand.

"I'm sorry" he mumbled. "Habit"

"Don't worry about it" Sarah responded quickly, pushing her hands against the wall. "So, your idea worked and Snape and I are back to normal. He is back to being all Snape like- know it all, surly and commanding. I missed all his questions and scoldings" she shook her head in disbelief. "Who would have thought? Thanks for helping me, Draco"

"You're welcome" Draco shuffled. "Anyway, I'll let you get back to Weasley...I just wanted to check after you- I know how difficult it can be"

"Thank you" Sarah bit her lip as she studied the shadows under his eyes. She was suddenly taken with the overwhelming urge to reach out and touch his face- to trace the shadow with her finger. She balled her hands behind her back, pounding her fists into the wall. She knew she should walk away and leave it at that, but...old habits, as Draco called them, were hard to let lie.

"Are you sure I can't help you with something?" her voice was low and almost sounded like a plea.

For a moment, Draco looked so conflicted and almost...tormented. Sarah's heart quickened. She knew that Draco was in agony over his task. She wanted to help, but how? Should she approach it with Snape again? That didn't seem like a good idea after all that had happened. And if Draco told her of what Voldemort required of him- did she really want to know?

"Nobody can help me now, Black" Draco muttered. "Especially you. I'll catch you later" He left quickly leaving Sarah, shaken, trying to gather her thoughts. After a few moments, she made her way back to the table.

"The loo crowded?" Hermione asked, innocently as Fred handed her a butterbeer.

"Yeah" Sarah took a swig. "Something like that"

They began to talk about Fred and George's successful business venture and how they were wanting to expand to Hogsmeade. They all thought it was a good idea. With Voldemort's return, the world needed the twins' humor. Sarah knew she did at least.

Finally, Harry stood up. "I think I want to Honeydukes. Want to come Hermione?"

"Sure" Hermione pushed herself up, reaching to put on her coat and fasten the buttons. "You do know that too much candy-"

"Can rot your teeth. Got it" Harry grinned and shot Sarah a look. She made a goofy face in response. Hermione tended to be more of a mother hen than a friend at times.

"And I want to head back to the store" George stood with them, leaving some money on the table. He winked at Fred. "Leave you two lovebirds alone. I'll see you all later"

The three left leaving Sarah with Fred.

"Want to go? Or want to stay?" he asked. "We have quite a while still- or it looks like it is settling down- might be a good place to talk" He picked up her empty drink. "Want another?"

"Yeah, that sounds good" Fred went to the bar to gather another butterbeer and Sarah leaned over, her face on her hand. Between the drama with Snape and that look Draco gave her imprinted in her mind and Fred's closeness, she almost felt weak.

"You okay?" Fred handed her another butterbeer and Sarah lifted her head.

"It's just been a tough couple weeks" Sarah responded as she took another drink. Fred sat and put his arm around her waist. She leaned closer to him, her mood lifting at his closeness.

"So, tell me about it" Fred instructed. He took a sip of his drink.

"I made up with Snape- only after letting him smack my hand with a ruler- the Slytherin way...at Draco's suggestion..." Sarah replied casually, just as Fred took another drink. He choked and sputtered, drink flying. Sarah handed him a napkin. "You alright there?" she asked, innocently.

"Way to fling that on me" Fred muttered as he released her and sopped up his mess. Sarah giggled, feeling much lighter now. She loved being around Fred.

He poked her, tickling his fingers into her side. "Start at the beginning...this I can't wait to hear"

And Sarah told him _everything_. Fred listened intently. Finally, she finished and waited to see what Fred would say.

"You are the bravest, craziest girl I know" Fred said approvingly. He leaned so his face was close with hers. "I can't believe you did that. I'm glad you made up with Snape, though" His forehead touched hers and she could feel his breath against her cheek, smell the butterbeer that he drank. "You look much happier"

Sarah's heart quickened. "I don't think I want to talk about Snape anymore, Fred" She stood and grabbed her coat.

Fred smiled. "And what do you want to talk about, Sarah?" He took it from her and put it on her. Starting at the top, he buttoned each button for her. This simple, but sweet act caused Sarah's stomach to flutter in anticipation. She tugged her hat on and Fred reached down to retrieve her scarf, wrapping it around her neck. Tugging slightly at the ends, he pulled her to him and kissed her firmly.

"I've been quite the mess these past few weeks" Sarah told him. "I'm doing better, but I know something that will _really_ make me feel better"

Fred traced circles on her palm before pulling on her mitten. "Please say you are thinking what I am thinking" He reached and pulled on his own coat. Pulling out change from his pocket, he flung it on the table.

"A visit to the bookstore?" Sarah asked, attempting to contain her giggle, but failing.

Fred turned her around and pushed her in the direction of the door. Swatting her with his gloves, he replied. "Exactly"

"What...? Wait" Sarah tried to turn around but Fred was right against her continuing to push her out the door. They finally reached the entrance and Sarah turned around to face him.

"I didn't really mean I wanted to go to the bookstore" Sarah informed him, attempting to lead him back to what she really wanted to do without saying it. _Really, trying to flirt with guys was so complicated at times... _"I was just joking"

"But I _do_ want to go to the bookstore" Fred replied, with a wink. "I know just the perfect hidden corner"

Sarah laughed and even in the cold, she could feel the heat of her blush. And she was right- a good snog later and she was feeling much better.

* * *

Another few weeks passed and Snape knew it was time to talk to Sarah about the potion he made and the spell he had been avoiding. On her weekly visit, upon viewing her grades and having her catch him up on her week, and practicing occlumency, and simulating a duel with her, he decided that he had procrastinated long enough. Dumbledore's time was drawing near and he knew at anytime, Draco would succeed in his task. Or at least attempt it more forwardly, instead of the half-hearted attempts he had been making.

Sarah drank the water he had offered her. "My reaction times were better this week, don't you think?" she asked.

"You did well' Snape admitted, folding his hands. "Sarah, I need to talk to you, but I don't want you to get upset by it"

Sarah sat down the glass. "I'll try not to. Is everything ok?"

"Your training is going very well" Snape drummed his fingers on his knees, before giving up trying to remain impassive and began to roam around the room. "Your have conquered the charms necessary to create shields and wards to hide yourself. Your fidelius charm is coming along rather well, considering your age. As far as dueling, your deflections and defense is where it needs to be, but you lack aggression that you need to survive a fight with a death eater"

"Aggression?" Sarah tugged her pony tail, twisting it in her hand. "As in curses?" Her voice caught.

Snape stilled and then turned to stare at her, gauging her reaction, his hand in his chin, fingers on his mouth. He lowered them slightly to speak. "Are you opposed to learning curses? I know you know a few more innocent ones, but you need the stronger ones...one in particular"

Sarah blinked and shook her head slowly as she perceived his meaning. "No, I'm not killing anyone. That's not me. We have to be different"

Snape walked over to the couch and pulled her up by the arms. He knew she would react this way and he was determined not to let her. "Look at me, Sarah Grace" His voice was firm and unyielding. "Look me in the eyes, so you know how serious I am. I'm not shielding any of my emotions from you right now"

Sarah sighed and met his eyes, seeing his determination and seriousness, but more. Snape was worried, but more than worried. Snape was scared. Snape never looked scared, but he did now. And it was because he _cared. _

"You meeting a Death Eater...you meeting the Dark Lord is _inevitable_. Your association with Potter marks you. _You are known_" Snape paused. "You look scared" He squeezed her arms. "You should be. I'm scared for you. They won't hesitate to kill you to get to Potter. They will be aggressive. And they will pursue you until they catch you and then they will torture you for information and whether or not you have it, the result will probably be the same.. if they don't need you, they will kill...kill you, Sarah Grace. They will kill you without hesitation...unless you see an opening and kill them first"

Sarah turned her head from him, but Snape released an arm to grab her chin forcing it back. "Look at me, Sarah"

She bit her lip and looked again. Snape's voice was a bit softer, but still serious. "I've been stern with you. Unyielding. I've pushed you so hard, harder than I should at times. But it is because I love you: You should have the brightest future. You should be a professor here- head of Gryffindor one day"

Sarah looked at him skeptically, but he pushed forward. "Don't look like you doubt its possibility...it's within your reach- even being Headmistress if you put your mind to it. And you should marry Fred Weasley or any other worthy man of your choosing and have lots of children and grandchildren. All your dreams should come true. But they will not unless you take control. They will not hesitate, you mustn't either. You must choose to _live_"

"But if that makes me like them...then I don't deserve that future, Dad"

"Like them?" Snape laughed before he could help himself. "They kill for amusement. You will kill to protect yourself and _others_-to stop them. It's not the same thing. It's about motives"

Sarah rubbed her face with her hands, "Teach me then. I can't promise you that I will use it. But teach me anyway"

Snape sighed. "I suppose that is enough for now. We will start with bugs. I see you kill them if they are in your room, so I know you don't totally object to it"

She crinkled her nose. "Let's get this over with"

When Snape was satisfied with her ability to kill the bugs laid in front of her, he gestured for her to sit again. "There is something else"

Sarah groaned before she could help it. Usually she loved her weakly time with Snape, but this week was just painful.

'It's not entirely terrible" Snape went to his desk, opened a door and retrieved a small box. He banished it towards her and Sarah caught it.

"A present?" Sarah asked, quizzically.

"If you'd like" Snape responded. "Go on. Open it."

Sarah opened the box and pulled out a necklace. It looked like a vial containing a blueish substance intricately intertwined with gold which served to encase it and attached to a gold chain.

"It reminds me of what I envisioned Lucy's necklace to be in the Chronicles of Narnia" Sarah mused as she fingered it.

"I fashioned it after it" Snape admitted. He went to sit next to her and patted her knee. "Do you remember we read that the first summer you came to live with me? It is one of the means in which we formed a closeness- it was one of the few ways I could reach you, was to read with you. I was simply your unyielding, harsh professor turned guardian who made too many rules and held you too accountable"

Sarah nodded. "You were Snape...but that summer you became my uncle...actually, my dad"

"I want you to wear this always" Snape reached to put the necklace on her. Tapping his wand against it, he uttered a concealment charm. "Use a concealment charm that will conceal not only from sight, but from touch. That way if you are captured, it will not be taken from you"

"And in the vial is...?"

"Do you know what the Dark Lord's favorite method of killing is?" Sev asked. Sarah shook her head no and Snape continued, "Nagini. He loves his snake. This is only enough anti-venom serum to last a few hours. After that, there is a stockpile in my stores at Snape Manor and in my quarters. You will need a few doses. But this first dose will buy you...or your friends time. Keep it safe"

"I will, I promise" Sarah reached to wrap her arms around him. "Thank you..."

Snape squeezed her. "For?"

"Being one of the good guys"

Snape pulled away. "Yes, then..enough of this sappiness" Snape replied, gruffly. "You better go. Hogsmeade is tomorrow. You can save your sappiness for Mr. Weasley. I'm sure he appreciates it...or least pretends to in order to get close to you"

Sarah rolled her eyes in response. Snape had gotten better, but he was still hopeless when it came to his emotions.

* * *

For the first time in a while, Sarah could characterize herself as happy. Sure Harry and Draco were both stressed and tormented, but Snape and her were getting along better than ever. She hadn't been in trouble once in the past several weeks and the last two Hogsmeade dates with Fred and the letters in between had just left her feeling like maybe things were going to turn around. Ron had broken up with Lavender after his bout with poison so even Hermione was happier. Yes, Voldemort was still out there, but she would prefer rather to think about classes, the DA, and Fred than that. She was confident that Dumbledore would have it in hand soon.

But one afternoon in late Spring, Sarah's sense of peace shown its first signs of unraveling. Sarah. Hermione, Ron and Harry were on their way back from the library, when a visibly upset Draco pushed past them and into the boy's lavatory.

Harry started after him, but Sarah quickly grabbed Harry's arm, trying to pull him back. "Leave him be, Harry"

"Look" Harry shrugged her off. "Whatever is bothering him, maybe if we push a little, we can get to it. It may be the only way"

"Harry!" Sarah called "I don't think you under..." but Harry had already made his way into the lavatory and soon they heard loud voices.

"They are going to kill each other" Ron mumbled, groaning. "Bloody hell"

"We should really go get help" Hermione responded.

"I'm going in..." Sarah announced, firmly. Things were going so well, but she wasn't going to let Harry and Draco kill each other in her attempts to make her life completely drama free.

"Oh not again" Hermione put her hand on her forehead and smacked it. "Sarah! Remember the last time you and Draco were in a lavatory together! It's never good"

Ron looked at her incredulously as he watched Sarah enter. "What did happen then?"

Hermione immediately grew quiet. "Uh, nothing" she mumbled. "I'm going to find a professor. Things sound bad. Come on-"

Sarah entered the lavatory to find tempers heightening almost to a breaking point. So much for her drama free existence. She quietly moved her wand out of her bag, she dropped her bag on the floor and got ready for what might happen.

"You don't know what you are talking about, Potter" Draco sneered. "As usual"

"Don't I? I don't have to see the mark to think I know what is going on. I know what you are"

Draco laughed. "Don't be ridiculous. You don't know anything about who I am, as you say. You think you are so much better than everyone else. The boy who lived- the savior..."

"Harry!" Sarah admonished, loudly. She had planted her body in between them, though not directly in front, but to the side of where they were standing. "Draco!"

For a second the boys stopped their arguing to look at her, surprised.

"Go away, Sarah" Harry's eyes returned to Draco's and remained firmly fixed on him, his wand twisted in his hand. "It's time for the truth- and since you have been sworn to secrecy, well, we all know what that means"

"Oh, really?" Draco replied, his eyes left Harry's to glance at Sarah's white face. "Step back, Sarah. Don't get involved." Seeing her take a step back, he was satisfied that she was safe in case things got worse. " What _does_ that mean Potter?"

"You are a Death Eater and somehow Dumbledore wants to protect you. What does that tell you?"

Draco snapped. "I don't need protecting from _Dumbledore_" Draco yelled. "From _anyone_"

"Oh, really...because the way I see it, your dear old dad screwed up. Voldemort was probably pretty pissed off about it, huh?"

Sarah's heart quickened. Harry had hit his mark and she knew Draco. He would explode.

"Crucio" Draco yelled and Sarah quickly deflected the curse away from Harry, but then in the confusion...a twist of events occurred- Harry did something completely unexpected that toppled Sarah's sense of the way the world was supposed to work.

_"Sectumsempra"_

Sarah's deflection had allowed Harry's curse to hit straight on. She screamed as Draco feel to the floor, blood pooling in every direction. Harry stood, mouth open, horrified at the result of the curse.

"_Draco_!" Sarah rushed to him. "No, Draco, no" Seeing Draco's blood flow from him, the result of Snape's curse he had created, Sarah's world felt like it was collapsing.

"Draco, oh, Draco!" Sarah tried to stop the blood with her hands. There was so much blood coming especially from his chest. "Don't die" She looked wildly at Harry, through the tears that were flowing down her face. She pulled off her sweater and tried to staunch the blood, but it was too much. She knew she should do more. But she couldn't act-everything was twisted. Harry wasn't supposed to curse Draco.

"What did you do?" Sarah yelled at him. "You should have just left him alone!"

"I didn't know" Harry's voice was agonizingly painful. Her heart softened towards him.

"I know. I should have told you. I never expected. I never thought..." Sarah shook her head, sorrowfully. "We have to do something. A spell. But I don't remember the spell! How can I not remember it? Snape taught me...Merlin...I should know this" She struggled to get her breath. She pressed her hands harder on his chest, but blood was flowing from everywhere. She watched Draco become horribly still as he lost consciousness.

"Potter, out of my way" Snape flung him aside, roughly. A sharp intake of breath and Sarah know that Snape figured it out. Snape stooped down and gripped Sarah's hand, saturated with Draco's blood, in her hasty attempts to try to stop it's flow.

"Pull yourself together, _now_" He commanded, his voice firm, but it's harshness served it's purpose. It snapped her out of her panic. He removed her hand from Draco's chest. "Not like that. You are a witch, not a muggle" He picked her wand up from the floor and place it firmly in her hand. "Take your _wand_. There is still time, but we must act quickly. _Vulnera Sanentur_. Just as I taught you, Sarah"

"Of course" Sarah scooted to start by Draco's head and Snape moved to his feet. With Snape and Sarah uttering the healing charm, the blood flow staunched and finally stopped, but Draco was still way too pale.

Snape squeezed her shoulder. "Well done."

"I panicked" Sarah frowned. "It was Draco and I panicked"

"I know" Snape grabbed her forearm. "We will talk tonight. Hold out your hands in front of me" Sarah looked so concerned that Snape couldn't help but grunt sarcastically, "For Merlin's sake, I'm not going to smack you, child...they are all bloody. I want to clean them"

"_Tergeo_" Snape cast a cleaning charm on her hands and Sarah began to stroke Draco's face, needing to give in to the desire to touch him. With her touch, he stirred and began to gain consciousness.

"I'm going to put him back to sleep" Snape told her. "Take a minute with him. Potter, outside, now" Snape tone was deathly.

"Dad, it wasn't really Harry's fault. I never told him about the memory" Sarah quickly intervened. "Not the specifics. He didn't know its effect. And Draco was going to use the cruciatus...I deflected the spell- otherwise it would have hit him"

Snape stopped. "You never told him?" Clearly, he had not anticipated her keeping the source of the spell and the memory of him using it on the muggle from her best friend. "Why ever not?"

"I wanted to protect you" Sarah responded, softly. "He would have thought the worst and...it's my fault"

"Oh, Sarah Grace" Snape groaned. "Potter, you and I will have a discussion. Wait outside. Accompany Sarah to my quarters. Wait on the couch. Do not touch anything. I will be there in due time" his tone was sharp.

Draco began to moan and Sarah continued to stroke his head.

He opened his eyes, meeting hers. "You look ghastly, Black"

Sarah laughed at his bluntness, knowing that must be an understatement. "Where are your impeccable Malfoy manners?"

"They must have left with the massive blood loss" Draco whispered. "I feel tired. It was Snape's curse, wasn't it? Mum had told me of it"

"I'm so sorry. I left you vulnerable. I wasn't taking Harry's side. It wasn't so he could get the advantage and curse you"

"Don't be daft. I know that" Draco shifted and the sweater that Sarah had placed on his chest fell next to him. "Your sweater. You love that sweater. What were you trying to do?"

"Apparently, I forgot I was a witch for a while and it was the only thing I could think of doing" Sarah shrugged and even in his pain, Draco chuckled.

"Clearly, Black" Draco tried to reach for her leg, but only managed to swipe it. "I'll buy you a new one. I'm tired" Draco closed his eyes. "Go take a shower, Sarah and rest. You really do look bad. I will be fine. Don't worry"

"He's right, Sarah" Snape interrupted their moment. "You need a shower. And I need to take care of Draco. You have at least a week of healing in front of you. And I have to tell Narcissa. And deal with Potter"

"Take care, Draco" Sarah whispered and reached to squeeze his hand. Draco squeezed back ever so lightly before falling back into a sleep.

Snape reached down and helped Sarah off the ground. "He will be weak for quite some time. Potter's curse was strong and he lost so much blood. It was almost too late. I must get him to Poppy. You will be ok to go with Harry?"

Sarah nodded, but her face was pale. Snape spoke quietly. "I need to sort things with Draco out, inform the Headmaster and Narcissa and I need privacy to deal with Harry. Shower and stay in your room. I'll send Wiggles to sit with you until I can arrive"

"Alright" Sarah agreed. "But Dad, Harry is...you didn't see his face when Draco fell on the ground. He was horrified. That must be considered"

Snape eyed her sternly. "When you are Head of House, you can make those judgment calls. Go ahead"

Sarah wanted to point out that he wasn't Harry's head, but wisely dropped it and went to find Harry, who was waiting for her, shoulders slumped and his back against the wall.

And Sarah was beginning to understand more of how what Sirius said a while back was true. There is darkness and light in all of us...they just have to be determined to fight for the light.

Harry raised his head to look at her. "Don't be mad at me"

"Of course not" Sarah met his gaze. "You are my best friend- a brother to me. And I know you didn't know. And if you did..." she swallowed hard.

"I wouldn't have done it, Sarah, I swear to it"

"Of course you wouldn't" Sarah soothed and reached out her hand. "Come on. Let's go." Hand in hand, they went to Snape's quarters.

"I've been instructed to stay in my room" Sarah apologized. "Otherwise I would sit with you. Snape has a few things to take care of, but he usually doesn't make you wait too long. Just a warning, though, he is pretty pissed. I would be contrite...and honest"

Harry grimaced. "I feel bad as it is. I deserve it"

Sarah reached to hug him. "We need to dispose of the book, Harry. I know things about it- things I can't tell you. Maybe Snape will, but I can't. The magic in it is dark"

Harry studied her. "It's Snape's isn't it?" he asked, quietly.

"It is" Sarah bit her lip, concerned of his reaction.

"What does that mean?" Harry asked her.

"I don't know, Harry" she shrugged. "All I know is when I tried to find out, it was horrible. The memory I invaded- I never told you what it contained. Snape, using that spell on a muggle girl. But I have to believe that was Snape of the past. _This_ Snape is good. I trust him. Dumbledore trusts him. Maybe that was him in school, creating those dark curses, but that is not him now"

"You kept this all to yourself- all these months? You have been giving us bits and pieces of information...half stories"

"I know and I'm sorry" Sarah put her hand on his shoulder. "You would have thought the worst"

"I understand that. But did you tell anybody?" Harry asked. "How could you have kept that to yourself? Who helped you with it?"

"I told Fred" Sarah admitted, her face coloring. "I tell him everything. He helps me through it"

And for the first time that night, Harry smiled.

"What?" Sarah shrugged again. "He is my boyfriend...you know that. Why are you smiling? This is _not _the time for smiling, Harry James"

"You love him" Harry grinned wider. "That's brilliant. Congratulations."

"What are you talking about? Have you completely lost your senses?" Sarah groaned. "These events must have traumatized you"

"You wouldn't have kept this from me, from Mione, from Ron and told Fred...unless you loved Fred in a different way than all of us"

Sarah stopped and covered her mouth with her hand. In spite of the intensity of what she felt tonight with Draco, she knew Harry was right. Fred made her happy. He lightened her mood. She wanted to share everything with him because she knew that he would handle it- handle her feelings and emotions and walk her through it. He had become her best friend. She did love him in that way. She couldn't wait to see Fred's reaction when she dropped that on him. And once again, with that revelation firmly in hand, she felt hope rising in her once again.

Up next: Snape makes the final preparations...&...Sarah's world comes crashing down around her...boooo!


	13. Storm

**A/N:** So we come to it. I feel very much like the whole story has been building to this moment. In one way, the chapter just flowed out. In another, I'm not sure I'm completely happy with the way it turned out...I can't decide if it the writing or just the subject...maybe I'm not supposed to be happy about it because, just a warning: it's not a happy chapter. But be kind and leave a review if you so wish. It does encourage me to keep going! Hopefully happier days will be ahead for our characters...after a while at least. :)

**Disclaimer**: Don't own...

**Chapter 13: ...Storm**

Another few weeks passed. Draco was healed and returned to normal. He informed Severus that he was almost done repairing the vanishing cabinet, so Snape knew it was only a matter of time now. Sarah was doing well, at least as far as he could tell. She had a bout with a virus that kept her from the last Hogsmeade visit. She was disappointed to miss her date with Fred, but seemed to take it in stride. Actually, she was as happy as he could remember her ever being. And this concerned him greatly.

This concern he carried to the Headmaster. This was Albus's brilliant idea- he should help him make sure that Sarah isn't completely devastated by the turn of events that was to follow.

"What exactly is your worry, Severus?" Albus asked, setting aside his spectacles to rub his eyes. The curse was beginning to take its toll, leaving the Headmaster feeling weary.

"If you are dead...and I am indisposed...and the ministry falls and Hogwarts is not safe for Sarah to return to, then where will she go?" Severus crossed his arms smugly as if this would be the moment that the Headmaster realized the folly in his plan.

Albus waved him off, dismissing his worries. "I'm sure the Weasleys would take her in"

This did not satisfy Severus. "If the ministry falls, there is no protect there. The Order safe houses will be compromised. Sarah will still be under the trace until September. She won't be able to join Potter to hunt for the horcruxes until after then. If she is not with Potter, then she will be vulnerable. They will capture and try to pry information from her. They will assume she knows Potter's whereabouts"

"I see your concern" He thought for a moment. "The magic of others around her cause interference with the trace, but I suppose it is plausible that they could use it to pinpoint her whereabouts. However, it has always been a rather ineffective"

"I know that" Severus responded. "But if it _could_ be used-"

"Then it is best that Sarah does not follow Harry until after her birthday" Albus agreed. "Hopefully Hermione and Sarah will work through the particulars that would allow her to join them later on-"

"Are we depending on them to figure that out?" Severus asked, with an annoyed grunt.

"With a few hints" Albus replied. "Discreetly given of course- I think you could manage that somehow"

"Hum" Severus crossed his arms. "That still does not account for where she will go. I will not abandon her, leaving her open to capture and torture. A place offering blood protection would strengthen the wards, but I can't take her and with Sirius dead, her closest relatives are Death Eaters or are married to them"

"Andromeda Tonks is not" Dumbledore suggested. "But with her married to a muggle- she is particularly vulnerable as long as long as Ted is physically with her...however, Lupin and Tonks are marrying soon- the blood protection would not be as strong, but I know they would be take Sarah in...and if she is under the fidelius charm, then she would be safe"

"I don't feel comfortable leaving Sarah's safety in the hands of others" Severus swept around the room, before turning abruptly to face him. "But as you have said before, I have little choice but to do so"

Dumbledore looked down at his withered hand. When he looked back up, he was solemn. "The best way you can ensure Sarah's safety is to cement your dedication to Voldemort- and for that to happen, Sarah has to be convinced that you are his- and have always been"

Severus swept over to his desk. Leaning over the edge, he slammed both of his hands on it, allowing his frustration to overflow. "And how am I supposed to do that when we are closer than we have ever been before? She sees me as her father- _I have been her father for the past 6 years_. She won't want to believe that I am a legitimate Death Eater even when confronted with the evidence that supports it-"

"You can't have her still defending you as a spy, creating doubts. It will be _your_ task to make her believe it- that it was _all_ a lie, at least for the time being" Dumbledore replied, his head in his hands.

"You are asking me to completely shatter the one person I have left in this world? The child you encouraged me to take in and love, saying that love was enough to fight the darkness?" Severus growled at him. "Well, apparently it is enough for everyone, but me..."

"I'm sorry Severus, but if Sarah's safety, Harry's safety, your safety is dependent on it..." He raised his head to look him in the eye. "Do you know how you will do it?"

Severus was silent for a few minutes, before speaking. "There is a way" he whispered, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. "But I will need your assistance"

* * *

It started out as a beautiful night. The common room was deserted as others were out enjoying the weather until the darkness fully rolled in and they had to return inside. Sarah had the window in the tower open, so she could feel the breeze blow in, ruffling her hair as she studied. She looked up and out the window. It almost seemed as if a storm was brewing out in the distance. Little did she know, it was approaching faster than it first appeared.

"Sarah!"

"Agh" Sarah struggled to catch her breath. Harry had startled her. She must have jumped out of her chair because she was standing now.

"You scared me. Geez, you could have given me some warning you were here" She turned to face him and what she saw in his face made her heart skip and her to fall silent. She had never seen him quite this angry, which was something considering he seemed to be angry alot these days.

"Where are the others?" he asked as he searched the empty room to ensure they were alone.

"They should be on their way back from the library shortly" She crossed the room to stand in front of him. Reaching for his arm, she touched it lightly- tentatively.

"Harry, what is it?" her eyes met his and she could see for a moment he was conflicted.

"The prophecy-" he stopped and looked away from her, balling his fists.

"What about it?" Sarah tugged at his arm.

"Snape was the one who told Voldemort of the prophecy- he was there that night that Dumbledore interviewed Trelawney for the divination position. He overheard it and went straight to his _master." _

Her stomach constricted as if she had been punched there. She let go of his arm and put her hand over her mouth.

_The prophecy_- the one which talked about a baby being able to vanquish Voldemort. The prophecy which caused the Potters to be hunted- which ultimately led to the death of Harry's parents. Snape was responsible for Voldemort knowing about it? Without the damning prophecy, her godparents would be alive- Harry would have his family. Sirius would never have gone after Pettigrew. She would have grown up with a father. They could have had a happy ending- and Harry said that Snape was the one to put these events in motion? But it still didn't make sense to her. Snape loved Lily, would he really do something that would lead to her death?

Shaking her hand swiftly, she lowered her hand. "No, that's not right. He wouldn't have" Her mind was racing, trying to find some possible explanation. "_he wouldn't have. _He cared for your mum. They were friends"

"He's the reason my mum is dead!" Harry turned around and slammed his hand against the wall. She couldn't respond to that. She wouldn't defend Snape now because if he did tell, he was partly responsible for Lily's death...and that turned her stomach.

"What will you do?" Sarah asked, softly. She didn't know what she should do herself. Confront Snape? She knew his past was dark, but _this_? Would he really have put in danger the life of the woman he loved? And an innocent baby? And then she _knew_. The _Half Blood Prince_ would. It was very plausible.

"Go to Dumbledore" Harry responded. "Demand an explanation. But there is more"

"More?" Sarah's voice was strained and she dreaded what came next.

"Trelawney said she couldn't get into the Room of Requirement. She heard a voice saying that it was done. Whatever is happening very well might be happening tonight"

"Oh, Merlin, it's Draco!" Sarah ran her hand through her hair anxiously. "What will we do?"

Harry reached in his pocket and took a drink of his liquid luck potion. He reached for Sarah's hand. Taking it, he put the vial in it and closed her hand over it. "Take this. Share with the others. Alert the DA. Guard watch over the entrance to the room of requirement" he paused and continued firmly, "And Snape's office. If there is any trouble alert the Order" he pulled her into a hug.

"I will" She assured him. "Room of Requirement and Snape's office. Oh, Harry be careful" her throat felt dry and she added hoarsely, "I do love you, Harry"

"I love you too, Sarah" He squeezed her slightly in his arms. "Whatever Snape did or is doing, is _not _a reflection of you"

Sarah bit her lip and nodded. She kept trying to reassure herself with the fact that it was _old Snape_. _This Snape_ was good. _This Snape _was her father- the best father a girl could ask for.

Harry released her. After patting her arm, he left in a hurry. Sarah unclenched her hand to stare down at the vial in front of her. The windows rattled under the force of the wind. Sarah pulled her wand out of her pocket and absently closed them. The storm was getting closer outside, but to Sarah, it felt like it was already here.

* * *

Sarah, Ginny, and Neville paced around the entrance to the room of requirement. A few other DA members were stationed down the hallway, ready to provide a second layer of defense. Ron, Hermione, and Luna were keeping watch with more DA members down by Snape's office. Hermione had insisted that Sarah not be the one outside of Snape's office. She doubted, and Sarah begrudgingly concurred, that Sarah would use force against her uncle at this point until they knew more. Ron, on the other hand, had no problem with hexing his loathsome professor to make him stay put.

Time passed slowly, when finally the wall started to creak and shift. And with that first noise indicating something was about to happen, Sarah knew what she had to do. The pieces were beginning to fit together. Voldemort had given Draco a mission. Draco was a Death Eater and this was his time. Whatever was coming through that wall, she would bet money on it that it signaled trouble.

"Everyone, quickly. Cast a patronus. Let's alert the Order members who are patrolling here"

"Are you sure?" Ginny asked as the wall continued to shift. "We don't know for sure what is happening!"

"Just do it!" Sarah instructed quickly. "While we still have time!" The three cast their patronuses and set them to various Order members, just as the door opened.

Abruptly, darkness fell. Neville and Ginny tried several charms but none worked to abate the darkness. Sarah's stomach plummeted and she tried to clear her mind away from her fear. She felt a rush of wind past her and she knew that people were moving past them.

"Quickly come with me" She ran in the direction of the wind, around the corner and down the hallway. She wanted to scream out Draco's name, but she knew it would just alert the Death Eaters to her whereabouts in the darkness.

"Sarah! Sarah, where are you?" Remus Lupin called for her. "Sarah, answer me please"

He and Tonks had been patrolling and received her patronus. They were with several other order members ahead. "Lupin!" Sarah answered back. "Trouble!"

And just as quickly as it descended, the darkness ceased. Draco had run out of his darkness powder. And what it revealed, made Sarah's heart stop. Death Eaters in every direction with Draco leading the pack. The storm had just gotten worse.

* * *

Death Eaters all around, waiting for someone to make the first move. More order members joined blocking the path, including Fred, George and Bill Weasley. But Sarah was on the opposite side with Ginny and Neville. She knew she had to act fast before chaos set in and she was stuck.

"Can you handle this?" Sarah whispered in Ginny's ear, only so she could hear. "Go back to the other DA members around the corner. Get them to block this side of the Death Eaters path. I'll follow Malfoy. He's up to something- oh and deal with Fred for me. Don't let him come and rescue me"

"Uh huh" Ginny responded almost inaudibly. "Be careful"

She took a breath. She moved behind Ginny, shielding herself from view. Turning her wand towards herself, Sarah hoped that the few lessons in nonverbal magic she had just started with Snape would bear fruit. She tapped her head and cast a silent disillusionment charm. Gathering her nerve, she barreled past the group of Death Eaters to stand beside Draco. And as she did, chaos followed. Spells fired in every direction and in the confusion, Draco managed to slip through, Sarah on his heels.

Draco ran outside, wand tightly in hand, glancing back every few seconds as if he could sense her presence. It was beginning to rain- lightening lit up the sky, thunder rumbled. One of the Death Eaters must have cast the Dark Mark, which meant that at least one had broken through. Sarah followed him to the astronomy tower and up the winding stairs. She was thankful for her padded shoes that barely squeaked as she went up the tower. She looked down to see that a Death Eater was now blocking the entrance. She was trapped.

She reached the top, just as Draco disarmed Dumbledore, his wand dropping to the ground. _Dumbledore without a wand? _This was not good.

"I was wondering when you would come" The Headmaster told him and Sarah quietly entered the room to stand and watch, her wand fixed in Draco's direction.

Draco's hand shook as he held his wand- pointed straight at the Headmaster.

"Forgive me for saying but your previous attempts at your mission have been rather half-hearted"

"What do you know of my mission?" Draco stiffened his hand around his wand.

"I know that you have been sent to kill me" Dumbledore responded gravely. "And I know you don't want to"

"Don't you see? I have to!" Draco's voice was frantic. "He said he would kill them- my mum and dad unless I killed you. I mustn't fail. I have to. _I have to kill you_"

That was Draco's mission? To kill Dumbledore? Sarah's stomach twisted.

"Oh, Draco, no!" The words slipped out before she could help it, causing Draco to whip around. He reversed her charm, revealing her presence.

Draco turned his wand on her, but Sarah's wand was firmly in front of her as well.

"Let's not panic" Dumbledore's voice was soothing as the two stared each other down. The tension in the room was almost overbearing and Albus feared it would cause an already unstable Draco to unravel.

Sarah's gaze gentled as she saw his pain. "Lower your wand, Draco" she said quietly. "We will find another way. We have to. You don't have to be this person."

Draco squeezed his eyes shut for a few seconds, unable to bear her scrutiny. But at the sound of shouting in the distance, his eyes flew open. "Leave now. I'll kill him right now if you don't, Sarah" Draco began shaking as he pointed his wand back at Dumbledore. "They are coming"

Sarah inhaled sharply at the voices coming closer. She knew that he was right- that Death Eaters would be here and soon, but still she couldn't leave. In spite of her moving on and falling in love with Fred, Draco still captured her. And standing here, pleading with him as he faced the greatest decision of his life, she knew that she would always love him- maybe not always romantically, but she couldn't completely stop loving him, not after all they had been through.

"I'm not leaving you. We can work through this- together. I promise, Draco" Sarah pleaded with him. "This is not you. You aren't a killer. Merlin knows you are a prat at times, but you are my friend. You are a good man. You have a good future ahead of you, but not if you do this. It's not too late, but if you kill him, you will become one of them. Don't do it"

"Don't" Draco's eyes clouded with tears. "I can't be that person anymore- I'm already ruined. You can't save me. I have to do this" He looked at Dumbledore, his eyes wild with fear when he saw that she had yet to move. "Tell her. You have to tell her to leave! Convince her! They will kill her. She has to go now. This has nothing to do with her"

"He's right" Dumbledore responded, his voice gentle. "You must leave now"

Sarah's mouth dropped open in shock as her eyes left Draco's. "I'm not leaving him to kill you. I'm not leaving you defenseless"

"Sarah Grace" Dumbledore's eyes bore into hers and Sarah stilled. The Headmaster had never called her Sarah Grace for as long as she could remember... her mum did, Sirius did, and Snape often did, but not Dumbledore. It was personal, it was a voice of a person who cared. It captured her attention fully and with the look she saw in his eyes, she knew she had to obey. "I will be fine. Go down a bit and hide yourself there- you will find that you might be needed"

Dumbledore was being cryptic, but there was a message there. And then Sarah remembered- Dumbledore wasn't alone tonight- Harry was here. He was telling her that her place was with Harry. He needed her.

And though it was contrary to everything she believed in, every instinct she had as a Gryffindor, she lowered her wand. She heard footsteps at the bottom of the tower.

"Shit" Draco swept over to her. Pointing his wand to her head, he cast a disillusionment charm. "Hurry. Go. You can make it to the lower landing before they get there"

With one last helpless look at Dumbledore, Sarah left. It would be the last time she would see him alive.

* * *

Sarah felt around on the landing in search for Harry. She finally touched what she thought was his arm. Dumbledore had immobilized him standing up against the wall- probably to keep him from doing what she wanted to do right now. Run back in there and fight some Death Eaters. She knew Harry couldn't speak and also needed to be covered by the invisibility cloak. She leaned back and snuggled up against his arm as the Death Eaters made their way past. Bellatrix Lestrange stopped to look back in her direction. Sarah held her breath until she turned and continued up the stairs.

She listened as the others, especially Bellatrix, encouraged Draco to complete his mission and even argued amongst each other with whether or not they should just do it themselves.

She heard Dumbledore plead for his life as Draco's wand remained fixed on him. "I once knew a boy who made all the wrong choices-"

And then she heard more footsteps and she watched as Snape came up the stairs. Relief flooded through her. Snape was here. Snape would save the day. Dumbledore was safe! Snape stopped and turned in her direction. He stared and frowned. Sweeping over to her, he hissed. "Do not move. Do not attempt to do anything. I will take care of it" He left and continued up the stairs, squaring his shoulders.

Sarah was nervous. What if the others turned on Snape? Draco would defend his godfather of course. Snape was the key to saving Dumbledore and convincing Draco not to do this terrible act. All was not lost. And then Snape was forced to show his true loyalties- he wouldn't be subject to Voldemort anymore. They could be a family- for real with everyone knowing how they felt about each other. He could explain to Harry that he had truly changed. He wasn't that same man. Hope sprung up in her even as the thunder crashed around her. She clenched her fists and closed her eyes. _Please let them get this under control quickly and for Snape to be Ok._ she thought as she opened her eyes once again to watch the scene unfold.

Draco lowered his wand. Sarah felt as if she could breathe again, knowing that Draco couldn't go through with it.

"Severus please-"

"_Avada Kedavra'_

Sarah watched Dumbledore's body fell from the top of the astronomy tower. Her mind tried to process what was happening, but she felt dull, like she couldn't catch up. And then the truth came smashing down on her as she realized what had transpired, the weight of it crushing her. Snape had just killed Dumbledore. Her father- the same man who stroked her hair, who tucked her in at night, who gave her potions when she was sick. The same voice who told her that he loved her time and time again, uttered those words that ended the Headmaster's life. He turned on his mentor, his friend. Her stomach revolted and her knees buckled forward. Harry felt her move and bent down. He reversed her charm so he could see her. He quickly pulled her back towards the wall, holding her against him- and shielded them with the invisibility cloak, hidden from the descending Death Eaters.

Once they passed, Harry dropped his cloak. He gently pushed her aside and then ran down after them.

"SNAPE!" Harry shouted.

Sarah snapped out of her trance. "Harry, NOOOOO!" Sarah screamed and ran after him, tightly holding her wand. As she ran, anger gripped her, taking a stronghold in her heart.

Bellatrix was dancing around gleefully. She set fire to Hagrid's Hut. "So pretty, so pretty" she sung as the fire lit the night sky. It was still lightly raining, but the storm seemed to be passing. _How ironic _Sarah thought bitterly.

Draco stood stunned. Severus looked determined, even as Harry was chasing him, firing curses at him.

"Potter" He growled disdainfully, as if he was an annoying pest who needed to be squashed.

"Hum" Bellatrix spun around and cast a spell that forced Harry to hit the ground in pain.

She aimed for another curse. "Protego" Sarah's shield blocked it forcefully, causing Bellatrix to pause and smile, her fingers on her lips.

"Well, now look who we have here. Sarah Black, daughter of my dear departed cousin" Bella mocked as she swept towards her. "My, you _have_ grown up this past year. You do look rather pretty these days. I never really understood what my nephew saw in you- until now. I think the Dark Lord might like your prettys- he has been asking after you" Bella raised her wand again. "That will _never_ do" she hissed darkly.

Out of the corner of his eye, Snape saw Draco make a move to raise his wand, but Severus snapped at her before Draco could take action.

"Leave her alone, Bellatrix. I made the unbreakable vow to her mother to protect her before she died. I would hate to have to take action against you" Severus sneered at her impatiently as if addressing a wayward child. "As for Potter, the Dark Lord's wishes are clear. Leave him"

Bella gave a short laugh. "Ok, Ok, come along then. As for you, my dear, we are not finished."

"You can depend on it" Sarah retorted angrily, but she made no attempt to curse her. No, she was saving her energy for another.

"Such a pretty night" Bella sung as she apparated with the other Death Eaters, leaving Snape and Draco behind.

"SNAPE" Harry yelled, fighting to get off the ground, weakened by Bellatrix's curse. "HE TRUSTED YOU AND YOU KILLED HIM" He raised his wand "FIGHT. FIGHT BACK YOU COWARD! CRUCIO"

The spell had little power and Severus rolled his eyes. "Nice try, Potter- haven't you realized yet? " his voice was cold, "you don't have it in you to use an unforgivable"

Harry still struggled. "_Sectumsempra"_

Snape flicked his wand and Harry fell back to the ground.

"You dare use my spells against me, Potter? You aren't fit" Severus kicked Harry.

"Stop it" Her voice was quiet at first. She raised her wand towards him. Then her voice grew stronger as Snape kicked him again. "I said _stop it_"

Snape paused and slowly turned towards her, his face devoid of the emotion that had been rampant a few moments before.

Confusion was replacing the anger as Snape looked at her without any emotion like they were strangers meeting for the first time. The gentleness towards her, the love- it had vanished. She felt like she was in a dream, that this could not be real. She had to know what was happening. She had to be sure.

"Uncle Sev?" Sarah rushed over to him, and grabbed him by the arms. Snape's look was hard as he jerked out of her grasp. That opened the floodgates and Sarah didn't fight the tears, streaming down her face. "You must tell me" She whispered frantically. "Is this where your true allegiance lies? All this time?"

Snape stared at her for a moment, before turning his head to look at his godson. Draco adverted his eyes, shame coursing through his expression. Shame at the one he still loved witnessing his sin- his betrayal. He knew the feeling all to well. He was living that feeling. Forcing his gaze back upon her, he surveyed her tear stained faced. He could read her expression clearly and in her eyes she saw pure agony, yet in spite of it a hope. A hope that this could all be some sort of twisted mistake. Some say that a broken heart is a figure of speech, but in that moment he wasn't so sure of it. He was pretty sure both his and Sarah's hearts were breaking. In the past years, a bond had been formed between the two, a special one that only belongs between a father and his precious daughter. It didn't matter that Sarah wasn't his biological daughter. She was his daughter. And yet, he had to do this. He had to let her go. She belonged to the light. Harry needed Sarah to face his destiny, and in doing so, Sarah needed to face her own. There is a moment in every parent's life when they have to let their child live their life- make their own decisions. It is the natural progression of growing up. But this didn't feel like that. This felt like Sarah being torn away from him. Still, he had to do this…but could he bear what would follow next?

"Indeed" Snape forced harshness into his tone, when really what he wanted to do was pull her to him and erase all the hurt that she had just lived, all the hurt that she was about to live. "_Look at me_"

Sarah met his eyes and was drawn into his mind- into a memory, but it was not an ordinary memory. Sarah could hear his thoughts and feel his feelings.

_"What can I do, Gracie?" Snape clasped his sister's hand. Grace looked frail, propped against the pillows, her face white and drawn. Her time was near._

_He was distraught- his beloved sister was dying. He wanted her comforted in the end- at peace, but something was holding her back. _

_"Take the child" Grace whispered, squeezing his hand. "For me"_

_"But she's such a brat" Severus groaned. "It wouldn't be the way you want it to be. She is her father to me. She will always be her father"_

_"I will have no peace" Grace's voice grew a bit stronger. "until I know she is cared for. You must protect her. Promise me you will...please Sev"_

_"I suppose if I must" he wiped her brow with a cloth. "For you-"_

_"You will make the unbreakable vow?" Grace pressed him still. _

_Severus stilled. "Do you not trust me?"_

_Gracie laughed. "With me, yes. With the child of your enemy, no. But as you can see, I have no other choice. Who would take her?_

_Snape smiled at his sister's understanding. She knew him well. "You are a wise woman, Grace Snape. I will cast the spell for us, you can create the terms"_

_Snape linked his arm through hers and pointed his wand towards them. _

_"Will you promise to protect the child from Voldemort or any harm that comes her way?"_

_"I will"_

_"Will you train her to fight Voldemort? Give her the skills and attitude or any other means necessary to be able to survive this war?"_

_"I will"_

_"Will you counsel her and discipline her? Take her into your confidence from time to time?"_

_"I will"_

_"Will you attempt to love her to the best of your ability?"_

_Snape grunted and shook his head no. Absolutely not. That was ridiculous. How could he love Sirius Black's daughter? _

_Grace rephrased. _

_"Will you make it so she thinks you love her and care for her at least until she becomes older? Make her believe that she has a father again?"_

_Snape was incredulous. "Fake being a father, Gracie?"_

_"You are a master occlumens- you could do it." Grace insisted. "Please- it has to be this way. Will you?"_

_Severus nodded. "I will- for you, but only for say...a few years. That way I am bound to it a bit, but not completely if I cannot bear the hardship anymore"  
_

_"Deal" Grace responded. She was sure that Severus would change his mind when he got to know her daughter, but Sev knew that he would never love her. Impossible. _

_The vow was finished, but there was one more step. "How will I pretend to be a father, Gracie?" Severus was perturbed and disgusted. _

_"Hand me some parchment" Grace told him. "I'll help you. When you feel that Sarah thinks you are getting closer, give her this. Act excited. It will work"_

_"If you say so" Severus chuckled at his sister's confidence in his abilities. He just wondered if she knew truly how far his deceptive abilities extended, if she would ever want him to take the brat in. _

Sarah was thrown from the memories, but from years of occulmency training, Sarah landed on her feet.

"Nobody is _that_ good" she said as she shivered, perhaps a result of the rain, but mostly from the memory she had just witnessed. "That cannot be true."

"Except me" Snape stalked over to her and spoke in a low voice to her. "It was really quite simple. I found out your preferences, what made you feel...all warm and cozy inside..." he paused with triumph, "... and then I manipulated them"

She felt like she was going to sick up right then and there. Draco moved towards her, but Snape snapped back, "Stay where you are Draco" He froze at the harshness of Snape's voice.

"Don't feel bad about it, Sarah. I have fooled everyone. Your mother, your wretched father...even one of the greatest wizards of all time. But my _true_ allegiance was made known tonight. No more pretending. Sides have been drawn, Sarah. _It is finished_"

Sarah's eyes grew wide. "IT'S NOT FINISHED, SNAPE!" she screamed at him with every emotion spiraling into her words, but Snape had side-swept her and reaching Draco, they apparated away from her, leaving her shaking.

* * *

"What was that?" Draco struggled to shake off Snape's firm grasp. "How could you do that do her? Did you see her face? You destroyed her"

"I did what I must" Snape responded, brokenly. "Do not make me feel worse than I already do"

Draco stopped struggling at Snape's weary tone.

"Go back" Draco turned his head towards his godfather. "Screw the Dark Lord. Go back and tell her that you didn't mean it- that you made whatever you showed her up to protect her. You did make it up didn't you- whatever memory you showed her? It wasn't real?"

"Of course I did" Snape snapped. "But I just killed Albus Dumbledore. I can't go back. We are on opposite sides. It is the way it must be" He entered Malfoy manner, his godson in tow.

"Come now, he will wonder where we are. Be prepared" Snape instructed him. He was greeted by the Dark Lord.

"Severus, well done" Voldemort praised. "What kept you so long?"

"Family matters" Severus bowed to him.

"I see" Voldemort laughed, gleefully. "And how did young Miss Black take her uncle's betrayal? Was she shocked to learn that you were mine all along? Was she heartbroken over the fool's death?"

"I dare say she will get over it" Snape responded dryly. "for my part at least..she was never fond of me...though she was hopelessly fond of the old man...it really does feel well to be rid of those obligations to care for her- let her be someone else's problem"

"Such a feisty one, though..." Voldemort replied, thinking. "When it is all said and done, it will be a pleasure to convert her to our side. I won't kill her though, no, I know that you promised your sister that her daughter would live..." He turned to Draco. "And you- I heard Snape beat you to it. Bellatrix was telling me he was a bit overeager to prove himself. But you did well- you found a way in. Keep proving to yourself to me" He laughed again, but it wasn't a happy laugh. "Maybe I will even give you that Gryffindor prize you love so much one day- that would be the ultimate repayment for your father's misstep, eh Lucias?"

Lucius shuddered at the thought.

* * *

Taking a tremulous breath, Sarah walked over to where Harry was lying on the ground. Reaching down, she offered him her hand and helped him up. "Are you hurt?" She asked quietly.

"No" Harry responded. "Not physically. You?"

Sarah shook her head. "Not physically". Harry tightened his grip on her hand and together they walked back to the castle where the students and professors and members of the Order were gathered around Dumbledore's body. Harry let go of her hand and knelt beside Dumbledore.

"It was Snape" He announced, loudly for all to hear. "Snape killed Dumbledore" The crowd gasped.

Sarah knelt on the opposite side of Dumbledore and gripped his hand. It felt so cold already. She frowned as she saw how blackened and withered it was, but she dismissed it. Leaning over him, she whispered in his ear. "I'm so sorry, Headmaster. I'm so, so sorry" She buried her head in his shoulder. She felt a hand grip her shoulder and pull her backward, away from the Headmaster.

"Sarah" Fred's voice was as gentle and tender as she had ever heard it. He sat down behind her, wrapping his arms around her stomach.

Sarah sighed gratefully and leaned back into Fred Weasley's arms as she continued to hold the Headmaster's hand. He had come to help fight the Death Eaters and now he was here to help her fight her own battle.

"It was all a lie. Even when he said he loved me. He promised mum he would make me think that. He never really wanted me. He was Voldemort's all along"

"Shhh" Fred rocked her back and forth. "Don't think about it right now"

Remus Lupin knelt down on one side of her and Tonks on the other.

"You could not have known, Sarah. He fooled us all" Lupin gently untangled Sarah's hand from Dumbledore's and grasped it tightly. "Come away, dear one. Come away from here" He nodded to Fred as Fred helped her up.

"Harry" Sarah whispered to Fred. "Dumbledore sent me back to protect Harry. It was his last instructions to me. I can't let him down"

Harry looked up and met her eyes. He had overheard their conversation, and knew that Sarah wouldn't leave him until he assured her that he would be fine without her.

"Go on, Sarah. I'll come and find you with Hermione and Ron. We will be there soon" He nodded at Fred as he continued to sit by Dumbledore's body, Ginny by his side.

She allowed Fred and Lupin to led her inside to the hospital wing, Tonks close behind them. Bill Weasley was in a hospital bed at the other side of the room, Fleur next to him.

Molly rose quickly when she saw her son and Sarah. "Are you hurt?"

"Molly, Poppy" Lupin inclined his head and they went into the hallway.

Fred pulled the covers back and Sarah climbed into bed. "Do you want me to go get some of your things?" he asked. "Pajamas maybe?"

"No, please don't go. Don't leave me" She begged, not even caring how pathetic and needy she sounded. Everybody left her-Grace, Sirius, Snape, Dumbledore...

Fred quickly reassured her.

"I'm never going to leave you when you need me here" He climbed into bed with her as Lupin and Tonks spoke in hushed tones with Poppy and Molly in the hallway. "I love you"

He uttered those words with such a sweetness that Sarah wept and buried her head in Fred's chest.

"Oh, I thought I knew what that meant" she sobbed as Fred rocked her. "But they all manipulated me and then left. Mum...Snape...it's just" she struggled to catch her breath. "I wanted so badly to tell you that I love you too...I realized it weeks ago, but I got sick and...now I can't say it anymore. I'm broken- I'm incapable of it. How can I love you the way you need when all I have been taught about how to love has been a lie?"

"Because you aren't them" Fred responded, raising her head off his chest up to meet his. He gripped the sides of her face, their faces touching. "And I'm not them. I won't let them do this to you. You do love. You love with a fierceness, that makes others not want to cross you. It's why you follow Harry into those dangerous situations. It's why you opened yourself up to Snape, even if we all knew him to be a bastard. This won't break you. Go on and say you love me. I want to hear it"

"I love you" Sarah whispered as she threw her arms around his neck. "Don't leave me"

"Never" Fred promised. "We are going to help you. Lupin...Harry...Hermione...even Ron will manage to help somehow. It's not over"

"But it feels like it is" Sarah whispered. "Snape said it was...and it feels like it is"

"I know it does" Fred just continued to hold her tightly in his arms until the adults joined them, their faces creased with worry.

Molly transfigured her clothes into pajamas. Lupin pulled a chair up by Sarah's bed, intending to keep watch over her through the night. Tonks guarded the doorway. Harry, Ron, and Hermione came soon afterwards and Poppy didn't have the heart to kick them out. She made beds for them next to Sarah's.

And Sarah didn't fight when Poppy prescribed a strong sleeping drought combined with dreamless sleep. She wanted to forget, but how could she not remember?

**Up next**: Sarah moves in with the Lupins, she and Fred make an important decision, and Sarah visits Snape Manor for one last confrontation...


	14. Aftermath

**Chapter 14: Aftermath**

Sarah's body felt heavy, so weary even after much sleep. Sunlight filtered through the curtains and she heard voices whispering. She groaned, turned to her other side and opened her eyes.

"You ok?" Fred asked, supporting himself on his elbows, his hair adorably tousled from sleep. He reached to trace the side of her cheek.

His presence and his question initially startled her, but then she remembered- she was in the hospital because _Snape_- her Snape killed Dumbledore while she watched, hidden from view. But he was never _her Snape _to begin with. A torrent of emotions followed- anguish, anger, frustration, bitterness, and a deep sense of loss...She struggled with them as she closed her eyes.

When she opened them, she saw compassion in Fred's face.

"Not really" She bit her lip as she pushed herself up, looking around the room. Bill Weasley was in the hospital bed, covered with bandages, but otherwise the hospital room was deserted.

"Where is everyone?" she asked.

"Getting breakfast" Fred told her. "Well, Hermione, Harry, Ron...Lupin, Tonks and my parents are in conference with Professor McGonagall."

Just then her friends returned, take away bags in their hands.

"Oh good, you're up" Hermione said. "We brought you food"

Sarah frowned, but Hermione held up her hand. "Before you tell me how you don't feel like it, you have to eat so don't even argue"

"Bloody hell, Hermione" Ron mumbled. "She doesn't need you to be so bossy"

"I'm not being bossy, Ronald" Hermione retorted, "I'm being caring...there is a difference"

Sarah and Harry exchanged a small smile. "Well, then" Harry said, "are you hungry, Sarah?"

Her stomach rumbled on cue. "I suppose I am" she responded with an embarrassed look towards Fred, who chuckled in response.

Harry handed a bag to Sarah and Hermione gave the one in her hand to Fred. Sarah opened it and began to eat the toast and jam...

As they ate, Harry sat on the edge of her bed. "How are you doing?"

"Not completely falling apart" she responded with a tilt of her head. "And I suppose, all things considered that's good, right?"

Harry reached to pat her hand. "Absolutely"

They ate in silence, somewhat awkwardly until they were interrupted by Professor McGonagall, followed by Remus and Tonks and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley.

"Oh good, Miss Black, you are eating" McGonagall approached the bed. "Excuse me, Mr. Potter" She tapped Harry on the arm and he rose and she took his seat on the edge of her bed. Remus sat next to her bed as the others hovered nearby.

"Trying to at least" Sarah told her Head. "Have we learned any new information of...of what happened?"

McGonagall shook her head. "Only what you know. Unfortunately, the ministry refuses to arrest Snape on the word of two teenagers"

Sarah frowned, trying to sort through that new information. "I know I should be upset by that...but I don't want Snape in Azkaban"

McGonagall reached to pat her knee, in a rare display of her affection. "It is natural that you still have...an...attachment to Snape, even with what you know now. We don't expect you to completely erase the past" she paused and changed the subject, "We are also trying to make arrangements for Professor Dumbledore" McGonagall's voice hitched slightly. "He always wanted to be buried at Hogwarts so that's what we shall do- Mr. Potter helped me make that decision"

"Who will speak at it?" Sarah asked, folding her hands- twisting them together on her lap. It was painful to talk about Professor Dumbledore being gone, not even to think about why he was gone.

"I will" McGonagall responded..."And it would be nice if a student spoke, but I'm not sure who to ask. We are all quite emotional"

"I will" Sarah and Harry both said at once. McGonagall was shocked into silence. These were her Gryffindors, brave to almost a fault, but still their willingness made her proud.

"Sarah" Lupin interceded, his voice gentle. "Given the circumstances, wouldn't you feel that perhaps it would put too much of a strain on yourself to do so?"

Sarah clenched her fists as she examined her hands. "Professor Dumbledore was so kind to me...and in the end, he instructed me to save my life, instead of trying to fight for him. I want to honor that and if Harry and I" she met Harry's eyes, "do it together, than we shall be fine..." she paused before adding with a bitterness so unlike her, "I was never supposed to like Snape anyway, so people won't expect me to be distressed at Snape's betrayal, even if he is family"

"But you did" Lupin argued. "I just don't want you to unnecessarily do things to make things harder for yourself when it could be avoided"

"Things are hard, unbelievably hard" Her voice was quiet. "The past 6 years of my life have been a lie. My father who we thought was a murderer was actually innocent and is dead. But I had my adopted dad...except my adopted father who we thought was good is a murderer and is still alive.. I feel shattered- I don't even quite know who I am anymore" Fred scooted closer to her and reached for her hand. Her voice grew stronger. "It's something I feel like I need to do, Remus. Please don't convince Professor McGonagall not to let me"

Remus sighed. "Of course, if you feel you must"

"Well then" McGonagall cleared her throat. "There is another matter we must discuss. After the funeral, we are sending students home. Of course, Mr. Potter will go back to his relatives until his birthday...but you...the ministry requires you to be sent home to your guardian, but obviously, I don't care what the ministry thinks on that matter."

"We would love for you to stay with us, Sarah" Molly Weasley stepped forward, "but there is some concern that given the circumstances, you might need stronger protection than we can provide for you or Harry at this time"

"Protection?" Sarah frowned. "Do you think Snape will come after me?"

"Probably not, but we cannot discount the possibility" Tonks told her. "So, Remus and I want you to come and live with us"

Sarah was shocked. She never considered this option before.

"With you?" Sarah ran her hand through her hair. "You guys will be newly married, you don't need me to complicate things..."

Tonks waved her arm as her hair turned bright pink. "No, seriously, we don't mind. We would actually like it. We could get to know you better and since we are cousins, we could put a bit of blood protection in the wards. It would be fun"

Sarah glanced at Professor McGonagall, who nodded encouragingly..."Um, I don't know if you know this but I have been told I am a bit of a handful..."

Fred snorted and Remus chuckled. "So is Dora, Sarah" Tonks smacked him, but he continued on. "For you, there would be rules- only a few for your safety...it wouldn't be for long, unless Hogwarts is unsafe to return to next year...we shall see. Do say yes"

"Could Fred come to visit?" Sarah asked, worried. "He has to be able to..."

Remus cleared his throat. "We would work something out...with a few guidelines" He glanced at Molly, who gave him a meaningful look. "We want you with us, Sarah. It's what Sirius would have wanted too...and Grace, of course"

She knew he was right. Lupin was her dad's best friend. He was who her mum called on when she was dying. They trusted him and Sarah knew from her third year as well as her time spent at her dad's house that Lupin was sincere.

"Thank you" Sarah nodded. She got up to give him a hug. "I don't deserve people to be so kind to me..."

"Yes you do" McGonagall responded, rising from her bed. "You are not your uncle" she pursed her lips. "Now, then I best be off. Lots of arrangements to make"

Remus and Tonks excused themselves too and the Weasleys made their way down the room to check on Bill, not before Molly gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Sarah looked at her friends. "Do you think I made the right decision?" she asked.

Hermione nodded thoughtfully. "Of course. The blood protection would offer a higher measure of safety than staying with the Weasleys"

Sarah rose. She reached for a folded pile of clothes at the foot of the bed. "I want to get dressed...and then, will you guys come with me?"

"Sure, where are we going?" Harry asked.

Sarah forced her emotions down as she twisted the clothes in her hand. "Snape's quarters. I have to go back there. I need to go back there. But I need my friends to do so"

"Of course we will go with you" Ron responded. He put his arms around Hermione's waist. "We aren't going to let you do that alone"

Sarah's lip trembled. "I don't know what I would do without you guys...thank you"

* * *

Sarah did know what it was, but she felt compelled to return to Snape's quarters one last time. Fred's hand firmly engulfing hers, she said the password and the door opened.

She stepped into the sitting room. She almost expected Snape to come out and greet her, peppering her with questions about her classes to ensure that she was listening to the lectures. She never realized how much his presence filled this place or how much this place represented safety to her.

"It feels the same" Sarah murmured. "Like nothing has changed, when everything has changed. How is that possible?"

Harry put his hand on her shoulder. "You couldn't have known what he was capable of"

Sarah turned towards him, facing her friends. "But I did know...I knew he had a past. I knew he was drawn to the Dark Arts. I knew he was the Half Blood Prince. I knew Draco had taken the Dark Mark. But things were so complicated. And I believed in Draco's goodness just like I just believed that Snape had changed...obviously, I was mistaken"

"Sarah, Dumbledore believed he was good" Hermione pointed out. "If he believed it, then why should you have doubted?"

"Harry doubted. Ron doubted" Sarah shrugged, defeated. "I should have put pieces together..." she glanced around the room. "anyway, you guys should go through Snape's things. Look for clues that could help us"

"You are giving us permission to ransack Snape's place?" Ron asked her, a bit eager.

"Absolutely" she replied as she squeezed Fred's hand. "Fred, can you come with me? I want to go to Snape's room"

"Are you sure?" he searched her face. "I could go for you..."

"I need to" She responded, quietly. Fred stopped protesting, but his hand remained tightly around hers as she led him to Snape's room.

She opened the door. "This feels strange. I haven't often been in here- once for discipline after the whole polyjuice potion incident- a couple times when Snape was recovering after Voldemort's return and then some random times that I needed him...but I could probably count the number of times on my hands"

They stepped into the room. It looked just the way Sarah thought it would be, but the bed was unmade.

Sarah frowned and pulled the navy blue sheets back up on the bed. "I guess Snape didn't have time to make the bed when he was called last night. So unlike him..."

An open potions journal lay on the bedside table...Taking a deep breath, she closed it, stacking it on top of Snape's other books.

She walked over to the closet. She reached to touch one of the hanging robes. "It smells like Snape" Tears formed in her eyes, which she quickly tried to swipe away. "Oh, bother..." She leaned her elbow against the open closet door to rest her head in her hand. "it isn't like he is dead"

Fred came up behind her and put his hands on her hips. Turning her towards him, he thumbed the tears away. "But in a way, he is dead...the Snape you knew and loved- he's gone. It's alright to be upset about it"

He led her to the bottom of the bed and they sat down, Sarah resting her head on his shoulder as she sniffled. "I just don't understand, Fred. How could it all of this" She waved her hand widely around the room..." be a lie? Everything I have known?"

She couldn't stifle her sob quickly enough. "He's been there for me through _everything_ these past 6 years. He has disciplined me when I have gone astray, he has comforted me through the highs and lows of growing up...I mean he even" she smiled slightly as she remembered."...even had to tell me about girl stuff that first time"

Fred laughed as he pictured that conversation. "Oh, I can just imagine that. How awkward..."

Sarah bit her lip. "You would think it would be...and it was...but Snape was sweet about it...actually quite lovely after I had been terribly beastly to him...but I suppose he had to act that way"

"You beastly during your time of the month?" Fred turned to face her, raising an eyebrow. "I can't imagine that" he said, with a bit of sarcasm.

"Now, now" Sarah went to smack him, but Fred grabbed her arms, restraining them before her hands could meet its target. Not to be bested, Sarah tried her hardest to wiggle out of his grasp, starting a wrestling match between the two of them. Eventually their efforts toppled them back onto the bed, Sarah landing on top of him.

They stilled and locked eyes, slightly breathless. They were silent but the tension between them overwhelmed the room. Fred stiffened, trying to control himself. "Sarah, I don't think-"

"Shh" Sarah reached to run her fingers through his hair as Fred tried to double his efforts to fight his teenage hormones which threatened to erupt.

"We aren't going to do anything rash" Sarah assured him. "I'm not asking to have sex with you in Snape's bed if that is what you are thinking...although, Merlin knows that would get infuriate him more than anything else...or" she paused, "old Snape- it would have"

She leaned down and kissed him gently on the lips. "But I am not opposed to a good snog...the others are busy in the other room...just for a bit...help me forget, please?" she looked at him so hopefully that Fred couldn't refuse her. He grabbed her face and pulled it into his. And when she kissed him back, it was with all the emotion bottled up inside of her. She needed to be close to him.

They snogged for quite a while, it growing in its intensity...Fred's hand reached to slip down her shirt, playing with her chest tenderly- Sarah offering no objection to them taking their snogging a step forward as she tried getting a handle on the sensation of Fred's hand on her chest as they kissed. This was new but felt so wonderfully good.

Suddenly, Fred pulled his hand away, taking a shuddering breath.

"We shouldn't" he sat up and moved away from her to the end of the bed again. "I'm unraveling quickly...and we should stop while we feel like we can...and we shouldn't do so when you are so vulnerable"

Sarah sat up as well and scooted to the end of the bed with him. She leaned against his arm. "I know...thank you"

"For?" Fred took some breaths. "I feel horrid that I pushed us ahead when you are clearly not doing well"

"Don't. Let me finish" Sarah reached for his hand. "Thank you for...starting" she kissed his hand. "and thank you for stopping..." she kissed his cheek. "and thank you for loving me..." and kissed his other cheek.."and finally, thank you for walking me through this..." she kissed his lips softly.

"You're welcome" Fred grinned, turning his head to stare into her eyes for a few moments. "I do love you, Sarah Black. I always have...I always will..."

Sarah opened her mouth to respond, but they were interrupted by Harry.

"Sarah, Wiggles is here wanting to pack up Snape's things" he called a bit too loudly from the hallway.

Sarah groaned, smacking their intertwined hands against her forehead. "I suppose it was too much to pretend all of this hadn't happened for just a few minutes?"

Fred rose, pulling her up. "Come on. Let's go"

They went back to the living room, where they found a distraught Wiggles being lectured by Hermione.

"Of course, Wiggles, you don't have to return to Snape" Hermione patted the house elf on the shoulder. "Sarah can give you socks right now if you wish"

"Hermione!" Sarah scolded her friend. "Leave her be. Wiggles, what is it?" She approached the house elf and reached for her hand.

"Oh, Mistress Sarah is too kind" Wiggles sobbed. "Always such a good girl...is what they are saying about Master Sev true?"

"Oh Wiggles" Sarah's lip trembled. "I'm so sorry...I saw it myself"

"You saw him kill Headmaster Dumbledore?" Wiggles grew more distraught, if that was possible. "It's that horrid man's influence. Master Sev is not this terrible person that everyone is saying him to be"

"Well, he did kill somebody" Ron pointed out, but Hermione shushed him..."not helping, Ronald"

"I knew him since he was a baby...he and Mistress Grace" Wiggles reached for a handkerchief, still holding onto her hand. "they were such lovely children" she looked around. "I need to pack his things..."

"Wiggles" Sarah squeezed her hand. "I will give you clothes right now so you won't have to go back. I'm a Prince and you are bound to my family...so it's within my right. You shouldn't have to go back to Snape"

"Oh, I'm not afraid, Mistress Sarah" Wiggles shook her head. "Master Sev needs me more than ever now. Do not worry for me...but" She sniffled, trying to compose herself. "I am still bound to you...so wherever you are, if you need me, just call and I will come and help you"

"Thank you" Sarah squeezed her hand again. "I'll let you go on now..."

"You are such a sweet girl" Wiggles released her hand to go towards the bedroom.

"Oh Wiggles" Sarah said, "Uncle Sev's potions journals are by his bed. He probably will want them..."

"Sarah!" Ron admonished and she stopped and looked guiltily at her friends. "Habit, sorry guys..."

"Don't mention it" Fred said, pulling her to him, glaring at his brother for his censure.

"Did you find anything?" Sarah asked Harry, trying to cover up her embarrassment.

"No...did you guys?" Harry asked, innocently but his slight smirk gave him away as Sarah's face grew very red.

Hermione shifted. "Wiggles had been here for a while..." she admitted, "but we thought we shouldn't disturb you...honestly, snogging on Snape's bed?"

"I think it is bloody wicked, Sarah" Ron retorted. "Make sure you mention it the next time you run into him..."

Fred grinned. "I have no doubt that she will"

* * *

The day of the Dumbledore's funeral was bright and cheery, a stark contrast to how it felt. Sarah supposed that it was fitting- after all, Dumbledore was often full of so much light and humor. She sat between Fred and Harry, Hermione and Ron close by. McGonagall gave a lovely tribute followed by Remus and Shacklebolt. It was their turn next. Harry stood and offered Sarah his hand. She took it and he led them through their row and up the aisle to the podium. Her heart quickened as she grew nervous. She focused on clearing her mind as Harry spoke first. She didn't really quite listen to what Harry was saying. She was afraid if she did, she would fall apart and she needed to be strong for this. Harry had finished and turned to look at her. Sarah took out her notes from the folds of her robes and with shaking hands, she unwrapped the folded paper. Placing it on the podium, she took a breath.

"I have had the privilege of being a student at this great institution for the past 6 years under who has been called by many people the Greatest Headmaster in its history...I remember when I came here the first night. I know many of you remember how it felt- a bundle of frayed nerves wondering what exactly the sorting hat would do or say, where we would end up, how it would be like to be away from home. I remember stepping up to the stool and I met the Headmaster's eyes and he smiled, putting me instantly at ease. I mention this because what I want to remember about the Headmaster is not that he was one of the strongest, most powerful wizards in history...but that he was very much one of the kindest, most patient, most giving wizards in our history" She took another breath and looked up.

"Many of you know that in the past, I have gotten in a bit of trouble from time to time" the students chuckled remembering well some of the pranks Sarah aided the Weasley twins in..."and while the Headmaster was quite stern with us at times, he also had this wonderful sense of humor. He understood that we were kids and that we would do things like that from time to time...he even encouraged it once or twice...but he also knew that there was a line between playful pranks and bullying. I remember him sitting me down after one of those pranks and talking with me about that line- not like I was a child but treated me more like he would an adult, knowing I was capable of understanding and applying what he was trying to teach me. And the result was- we often didn't want to disappoint the Headmaster. He commanded our respect- but not by asserting his authority, but achieved this through his kind, patient demeanor. Don't get me wrong. I have seen Professor Dumbledore mad...I was there at the Department of Mysteries last year with Harry when Dumbledore fought Lord Voldemort..."

The crowd shuddered, but Sarah continued, "and he was angry. He saved our lives that night. And when it was all said and done, he never once scolded us for going there in the first place, but comforted us knowing that we had unfairly lost someone close to us...And the Headmaster... he also saved my life the other night. You see, I was there with the Professor. I had followed Draco up to the tower to try to reason with him not to do this terrible deed. But the Death Eaters were coming" Sarah paused trying to compose herself. "and he urged me to go hide myself...well, he commanded me in a way that left me no choice but to obey him. I don't think I would have done so for anybody else but Dumbledore. I was there when Snape killed him" Sarah wiped at her eyes. "I know...I've read that some of you...might find it inappropriate given my ties to Dumbledore's killer that I am giving this tribute...that Professor Dumbledore would somehow be offended by Snape's niece speaking at his service..." she strengthened her voice, pulling on a strength she wasn't sure where it was coming from- maybe after years of loss, she had finally learned to compose herself with it, "but then if you think that, you didn't truly know Professor Dumbledore. Because if he was here, he would have sat me down and sorted this whole mess out with me in the kind, patient way that only the Headmaster could. He was truly one of the greatest men I knew...and he will be missed greatly. I feel like his presence will be here forever, guarding this school. I wish it to be so" She looked around the room, tears clouding her eyes.

"May it be so" she murmured.

* * *

"I can't return here next year" Harry told Sarah, Ron, and Hermione as they sat by the lake, comforting him after he broke things off with Ginny. Even Ron was understanding, even if Harry hurt his baby sister- he knew he did it to protect her. "We have to hunt for the horcruxes...and destroy every last one of them. That is the only way to defeat him" he held up the locket. "this last one was a fake"

Sarah reached for it and he handed the locket to her. "RAB" Sarah muttered, frowning as she read the note. "Who do you think he was?"

Harry shrugged and Sarah handed the locket to Hermione to examine.

"Well, what wizarding families have the last name that start with a B?" Hermione asked. "Of course there are the Bones, Bagmans, Brands...Bla..."

"Blacks- our favorite B family" Sarah continued for her. "Full of Death Eaters we are...but could he have been related to me? Harry, do you remember what Sirius's brother's name was?"

Harry shook his head. "I don't...It could have started with a R though...I'm not sure"

"We'll sort through it" Hermione handed the locket to Harry, who put it in his pocket. "And we know you can't return...we aren't either"

"No, it's too..." Harry began but Sarah cut him off. "You always say that...and we always come along anyway. Face it Harry, you are stuck with us. It's what friends do, remember?"

Harry sighed. "Alright, I do need your help. I feel hopelessly over my head here. I don't know where to begin"

"I think the locket seems like a good place to start" Sarah looped her arm through Harry's as they looked at the lake. "Hermione, you and I need to sort through when I can join you all if I am still under the trace when the ministry falls"

"I'm working on that" Hermione said. "A portkey would be an obvious choice, but if you are captured..."

"Don't worry about that" Sarah retorted. "They will torture me regardless...if we could charm it to explode if anyone tries to activate it besides me..."

"That is an option" Hermione replied, thoughtfully. "I will have to do some research before we leave" She tugged Ron's arm. "Come along, Ronald" Ron started grumbling, but he allowed Hermione to lead him back towards the building.

"Will you be ok at your relatives, Harry?" Sarah asked him.

"I'm used to it" Harry replied, grimly. "By the way, that was a nice speech you gave up there. Dumbledore would have been proud of you, I think"

Sarah bit her lip. "I want to think he would have been. I wish he was here. I would give anything to talk to him one last time. I need his wisdom"

"I know what you mean" They fell into a comfortable silence as they sat by the lake.

* * *

Severus threw down the _Daily Prophet_. Narcissa took a sip of her coffee. She and Draco had come to Snape Manor for breakfast, but so far Severus had been engrossed in the paper he had been reading to really carry on a conversation.

"Problem, Sev?" she asked, keeping her tone light. Since Severus returned from killing Dumbledore, he had been quite sullen and withdrawn. Narcissa had pressed him several times to talk about what happened, but Severus outright refused to discuss it with her. She was worried about him, but knew she could only push him so far.

"They allowed her to speak at Dumbledore's service" Snape growled. "Are they mad?"

Draco reached for the paper that Snape had discarded. He read the title aloud:_ Harry Potter, Boy Who Lived and Sarah Black,Niece of Dumbledore's Killer Speak At the Headmaster's service. _Merlin, what did she say?" He scanned other titles including: _Dumbledore: The Man behind the Mystery; Ministry Officials Refuse to Arrest Severus Snape, citing Lack of Evidence, Professor McGonagall takes on Headmistress Role As Hogwarts is in Mourning..._He studied the picture of Harry and Sarah at the funeral, trying to get a glimpse of how she was feeling from her picture.

"Apparently, she gave quite the moving tribute" Sev pushed his plate away.

"And that's a problem?" Narcissa eyed him. "That means she is handling the situation well...you should be thankful"

"Thankful, Narcissa really..." Severus glared at her. "And it means not so much that she is handling it well...more like bottling up her feelings"

"Must be a hereditary trait" Narcissa retorted back. Draco looked up from the paper to watch his mother and godfather. His mother was the only one, besides Sarah, who would dare to speak to him in such a fashion.

"What do you want me to do, Cissy? Break down here at the breakfast table?"

"No, I just want to know you are ok" Narcissa replied, quietly as she laid aside her fork.

"Of course I'm not ok" Severus threw his napkin on his plate. "I killed a man I respected and admired- a mentor to me. I shattered the one person I love most in this world and I can't even be there for her to help her with it. I have to trust other people to take care of her-and obviously from the looks of it, they are letting her do as she wants even if it causes more emotional damage. I have to answer to the Dark Lord...and the ministry looks like it could fall any day now, further placing Sarah's life in danger. So no, Narcissa, _I am not ok_"

"Alright then" Cissy picked back up her fork. "As long as you are sorting through it..."

Severus groaned and rolled his eyes at her. "You are really the most exasperating woman I have ever met"

Narcissa simply smiled sweetly at him in response.

Draco cleared his throat. "Do you think Sarah will return to Hogwarts next year?" he asked, putting aside the paper.

"No, I don't" Severus replied, quietly. "And that would probably be for the best. Things are about to get much worse, Draco. We need to be prepared"

* * *

Remus and Tonks married the day after Dumbledore's funeral. After a weekend away, they returned to their home and Sarah moved in with them. They were both unfailingly kind and understanding- patient with her changing moods and her need to either be in their company or in the sanctuary of her room. Sarah was comfortable with them and Fred came to visit almost every night. They would curl up and watch muggle movies together (Tonks having grown up with a muggle father had to have a television in her home). The only bit of tension so far happened when Lupin tried to set guidelines for Fred's visits. It was horribly awkward to have her former professor try to talk to her about appropriate behavior with her boyfriend, even as Tonks snickered behind her hand at all of it.

He had sat Sarah and Fred down on the first visit. "Sarah, I know you are almost of age" he began quietly. "and I know this is a bit uncomfortable, but I don't want to be the one who is lenient enough to create the situation that leads to other situations if you know what I mean"

Sarah glanced at Tonks, who was trying to suppress a giggle. "That's probably enough said, Remus. I understand your point" Sarah turned to Fred. "We'll behave, right Weasley?"

Fred nodded. "No worries there, Lupin"

"Still" Lupin persisted. "I don't want you alone with him in your room...and watch your hands, Weasley"

"Remus!" Sarah was becoming horrified at where this was be leading. "Really, I _am_ almost of age..."

"Now, Sarah. I was once a teenager myself...and you are not of age yet" Lupin fought a smile. "I promised your parents that I would look out for you...they would never forgive me if I allowed you to lose your virginity in my home" He told her bluntly.

Sarah threw a pleading look at Tonks and she stepped in. "Remus, love, Sarah understands that. I think we can trust her to follow those expectations..."

"I hope so" Remus reached for Tonks arm to pull her down on his lap. "If you don't mind me asking, what rules did Snape have in place for you?"

Sarah stiffened slightly, but responded anyway. "The same basically...and he was Snape. I knew if I did something like that, he would find out...and he would make me pay. That wasn't a conversation I wanted to have with him...nor you, for that matter. Don't worry, Remus, I'll be a good girl"

Lupin grunted, but dropped the subject. Sarah and Fred settled into their routine...Lupin and Tonks often joined them, but sometimes would leave and go upstairs to give them privacy- Lupin, reminding them quite forwardly, his door was open and he liked to often have nighttime snacks that would take him back right through this room. Sarah wasn't annoyed by it- she really did adore her parents' friends and it was kind of nice having someone to look after her again. They didn't put pressure on her to be someone she wasn't or feel things she didn't. And she knew that even though Lupin was a werewolf, most days there wasn't a menacing bone in his body- unlike her uncle.

* * *

Two weeks had passed and Fred and her were growing closer each day. One night, Remus and Tonks had gone upstairs early, leaving Sarah and Fred on the couch, talking.

Fred was playing with her hair gently, while Sarah leaned against him, his arms around her.

"You are planning to run off with Harry after your birthday, aren't you?" Fred asked her, fighting to keep his tone neutral. "I heard Hermione and Ron talking about it"

Sarah shuffled to try to turn around to face him, but Fred held her tightly in place. "Let's stay like this"

"I am" Sarah tensed in his arms. "I'm sorry, Fred, but I have to. I don't want to leave you, but it isn't for another couple of months"

Fred continued to fiddle with her hair. "I know you don't and I know you have to...but I love you and I want you safe. I don't want to lose you"

Sarah struggled to snake out of his arms. "Let me look at you, please" She put her hand on his face and saw the tears. "Oh, Fred...I am sorry, I love you so much it hurts at times. I have to do this- I don't know what it is, but I'm tied to Harry. Every adult in my life has told me that very thing. He needs me to fight Voldemort. He can't face this alone"

"I know all of that, Sarah" Fred put both his hands on her face, squeezing it. He kissed her gently. '"Doesn't make it easier- but one thing will..."

"What is that?" Sarah's voice caught and they were wrapped up in this intense moment together.

"Marry me" Fred whispered, his voice sweet and tender. "Say you will...not now, after the war...but if I know you will come back to me" He reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring. "I can handle anything- we can handle anything"

Her heart quickened. This was so _unexpected_. She knew wizards of pure-blooded families married young, often just when they turned of age, but she didn't expect this so quickly. And while she knew she was young, the events of the past weeks had forced her to grow up in ways she never would imagine. She wasn't being shielded from life anymore, she was living it- even the nasty, hurtful parts of it. She wanted to live the sweet, wonderful parts of it too...live them with Fred. It would give her a hope to hold onto in the midst of the darkness- that there was light for her.

She didn't hesitate. "Of course I will" Sarah leaned into kiss him as Fred slipped the ring on her finger. Fred's mouth captured her and they kissed for a few moments before Fred called out, "Remus, Tonks, she said yes!"

Tonks squealed as they opened the door to their room and came bouncing down the stairs. "I knew she would!" she exclaimed, her hair bright pink in celebration.

Lupin approached them- he shook Fred's hand and planted a quick kiss on Sarah's head.

"I know many should say I should lecture you..that you are still a child" He patted her shoulder. "But you have demonstrated that you are capable of making your own decisions" He smiled at her. "Your parents married young and they were quite happy...and would have remained so if circumstances didn't interfere. I hope you do too"

Sarah grinned. "Thank you, Remus- Tonks. I am happy" Sarah turned to her future husband..."now all we have to do is take care of that pesky matter of an evil wizard trying to dominate the world, kill all the muggles, and murder my best friend..."

Remus grew serious. "Don't make light of it, Sarah. Things are bad right now"

"I know that" She snuggled up against Fred's chest. "But we have to hold onto the light in our lives...Dumbledore taught me that. And this just gave me a whole lot more light to hold onto"

Lupin chuckled, as he threw his arm around his wife. "I think they are in love, Dora"

"That they are" Tonks replied, turning her head to kiss her husband gently.

* * *

The next day, Sarah sat on her bed, twisting her ring. Tonks was at work and Remus was out picking up some groceries. Fred was coming over later, but for now, she was all alone. A deep sadness filled her- in the happiest moment of her life- the adults she wanted to share it with...were either dead or never really existed to begin with. Sure, she had floo called Hermione, who scolded her mildly that she was too young to marry. After Sarah assured her it was to be after the war, she squealed and asked to come through to see the ring. That morning, she and Fred also went to the Weasleys for breakfast to tell his family. They were thrilled that Fred was bringing another girl into the family to even things out a bit more. She was practically family anyway, so it wasn't wholly unexpected for them. She owled Harry, really wishing that she could see him in person...and she wanted to talk to her mum and dad. Thinking of her mum, she remembered that Snape had gotten her mum's wedding dress from her flat after she died. She would really like that one day. And actually, all of her other things. Snape Manor was filled with her clothes and she wanted the pictures of her parents that were lining her dresser.

Frowning, Sarah hopped off the bed. She knew Lupin would be furious...and actually, Fred would probably be rightfully angry too, but she also knew that Snape was bound to his vow not to hurt her. It wouldn't harm her to go and get her stuff, would it? As long as Voldemort or other Death Eaters weren't visiting, she should be protected.

She had a thought. "Wiggles" she called, feeling downright silly that her house elf so far away could hear her. But soon Wiggles appeared.

"Mistress Sarah need me?" she asked.

"Yes, is Snape alone today?" Sarah asked. "No evil Dark Lords or Death Eaters there?"

Wiggles shook her head. "Besides Mrs. Malfoy and Draco visiting occasionally, he has been by himself. We are expecting no visitors today"

Sarah smiled. "Excellent. I'm coming over. I want my things"

Wiggles frowned. "I'm not sure that is wise. I could fetch your things for you"

"No need" Sarah assured her. "Snape made a vow to my mother to protect me from harm- he can't hurt me- physically at least. I'll be fine...Is he in his office right now?"

"No, he downstairs brewing some potions" Wiggles responded. "He should be busy for some time"

"Great" she swiped her hands and grabbed a sweater. "I'll use the floo. Thanks so much" she said, dismissing her. Wiggles gave her a sorrowful, worried look before disappearing.

After writing a quick note to Remus telling him she was running an errand and would be back soon (keeping the note as vague as possible), Sarah flooded over to Snape Manor.

When she arrived, she had to fight the nostalgia that hit her. This was her home. She knew it wasn't really home, but in a way, it would always feel like home. And again, she wondered how it could have all been a lie. She made her way quietly up the stairs to her room. Pushing open the door, she stepped in. It was just how she had left it. Snape hadn't touched it. She had thought he would have cleaned it up, moved her things, changed it somehow...but he hadn't.

Standing in her room, her lip trembled. She tried to will it to stop, but it wouldn't. She went over to her dresser to study the pictures. Her mum and Dad...her friends. She picked them up and folded the stands down, placing them carefully in the bag she brought. Then she saw the picture of her and Snape, taken the night of the Yule Ball. Sarah had insisted on a picture with her dad.

Embarrassment and pain filled her. How could she have been so stupid?

"I'm such a fool" Sarah said, as she threw the picture to the floor, it shattering into a million pieces. Whipping around, she came face to face with Snape, standing at the door.

"What do you think you are doing here?" his voice was steady, but Sarah recognized his tone. He was angry. She reached in her pocket to grab her wand, just in case, then she realized that she had left it at the Lupins.

And Sarah knew things were about to get worse.

Up next: Unable to restrain himself, Snape and Sarah have words over her choices...and her future. And Sarah's anger finally reaches a boiling point as she tells Snape what she really thinks of him...

A/N: Let me know what you think- what should Sarah say to Snape? I triple dare her to tell Snape she made out with Fred in his bed...:) And...I'm thinking of writing a oneshot about the scene of Snape handling Sarah's girly issues...I was going to include it in this chapter, but decided against it...so should I write the oneshot? I want to write Sarah and Snape father-daughter sweetness again! :)


	15. Confrontations

A/N: 9 reviews for the last chapter- yaaay! Thank you to all to took the time to drop a line...and please continue to do so- I need the encouragement! :) Yes, I left you all with a cliffhanger, but hopefully the quick turn around helps with that.

**Chapter 15: Confrontations**

Sarah struggled to breathe evenly as she came face to face with her uncle. He was scowling at her, clearly infuriated by her presence in his house.

Severus, ever astute, saw her reach for her wand and come up empty handed. He knew he had to tread carefully, yet he couldn't believe that she would be so foolish to come here- and on top of that, come here without her wand. How many times had he drilled into her that she was _always_ to have her wand with her? He felt like the past 6 years were for naught- she was as careless as ever. Frustration pulsed through him as he knew he had to control his temper. He must appear apathetic- withdrawn, but it was difficult as ever. Sarah had braided her hair like she did when she was younger, when he first took guardianship of her. A wave of nostalgia hit him- he missed his little girl. Gathering his strength, he stiffened his stance and forced a stony gaze upon his niece.

"Missing something?" Severus raised an eyebrow at her.

Sarah's throat felt dry. "No, not at all" she croaked as she turned around to open the drawers to her dresser. Shuffling around, she began to pull out piles of clothes and throw them onto the bed.

Stepping into the room, Snape crossed his arms. "You never did answer my question" his voice was low.

"Oh, really? I thought I just did" Sarah crossed the room to the closet and pulled out some sweaters. "I'm not missing anything, are you?"

"Not that question" Severus growled at her. "What are you doing here?"

Sarah paused to look at him, tilting her head to the side. "I thought that much would be obvious. You are smart. Figure it out" she glared at him before she continued with her packing efforts.

In two giant steps, Snape glided across the room and grabbed a hold of her wrist. "My my, only a few weeks away and you seem to have lost all your manners"

"Or maybe someone didn't do a good enough job raising me in the first place" Sarah retorted and Snape's grasp on her wrist tightened significantly, causing her to wince.

"You enter my home unannounced and you act like this?" Severus shook his head at her, dramatically. "You are awfully bold"

"I'm still technically the Prince heir, so it's my home too and I can act however I want" Sarah struggled to free her hand. Gritting her teeth, she added, "And you are under the unbreakable vow not harm me and my wrist is hurting now, so _let go" _She struggled more forcefully.

Snape released her as quickly as he grabbed her and the momentum caused her to fall back against the bed, clumsily. "Ever the graceful one, Black" he chided. "You took a big risk coming here"

"Hum" Sarah turned her back to him and began to swiftly and not so neatly fold the clothes on her bed, her braids bouncing. "Not really...you can't harm me, so really I don't believe it was a risk at all"

Snape swept up behind her to whisper in her ear. "Yet, I could keep you here if I wish...I am still your guardian and according to the ministry, you belong with me"

"And why would you want to do that?" Sarah shrugged, as she plopped a pile of clothes in her bag. She was trying to act nonchalant, but Snape immediately recognized the telltale trembling of her hands as she packed- she was nervous and unraveling. Clearly, she thought he could force her to remain here- and he could. She gave a short, nervous laugh, "Honestly, you never wanted me to begin with...it's no risk"

Snape grabbed her arm and turned her to face him, them close in proximity. "This attitude will cease immediately" he growled at her. "I don't have to tolerate it"

Sarah's temper flared. She would not have him treat her like a child, not now...not ever again. She wasn't his child, he had made that abundantly clear the last time they met.

"Then leave" Sarah shot back. "I'm fine packing on my own without you supervising"

They glared at each other for a moment, before Sarah continued. "And really, given the circumstances, I feel that I am being quite polite..you are lucky I am not hexing you into the next room right now"

Severus smirked. "And how would you do that _without your wand_?"

Sarah shook with anger as her temper exploded. He was being so condescending, so arrogant...

"You are despicable" she practically spat at him. "I hate you... I will always hate you"

Severus fought to keep his expression neutral, but the pain in his chest was growing significantly. "Do you now?" He crept even closer to her, trying to appear as dominating as he could.

"Agh" Sarah smacked him hard, pushing her hand against his chest trying to get him away from her, but Snape was solid and didn't budge.

It was then that he saw it. The ring. Severus stilled, unsure of what to do. He probably should ignore it, but he was finding that as good a spy as he was, he couldn't ignore what he just saw. He wouldn't...Eyes narrowing, "What is _that?_" he asked.

"An engagement ring" Sarah held it up for him to see. "Congratulate me. I'm getting married. After Harry destroys your master that is..."

Severus bristled. He knew he should let it go but she was pushing all his buttons with an attitude that he had rarely seen from her. He had never tolerated it in the past and he certainly wasn't going to do so now. She was being reckless and that could get her killed.

"_Sit down now_" his voice was deceptively calm.

"You can't tell me what to do anymore, so I don't think I will" Sarah told him, as she absently twisted the ring on her finger, giving away her anxiety.

"Actually, you are wrong there" Severus replied smoothly. "One, I am still your adopted father. Two, I have a wand and you do not...so sit down, now, before I make you do so"

Sarah clenched her fists, but realizing his point, she sat on her bed. "Yes?"

"You are ruining your life" he told her bluntly. "You are sixteen years old and..."

"No" Sarah jumped back up, unable to help herself. "You do not get to do this. You don't get to tell me that what I am doing is wrong or right. You lost that right the minute you killed the Headmaster and showed me that memory" she struggled to breathe normally. "Your opinion means nothing to me- nothing at all! I love Fred. I'm going to marry him"

"I'm not finished" Snape hissed at her. "I made the unbreakable vow to your mother to offer you council so sit down and listen" he pushed her back on the bed with his hand and held her shoulders firmly to hold her there as she squirmed. "Stay still or I will charm you to the bed"

Sarah grunted, but stopped squirming.

"It seems to me that since the last time we met, you have reverted into acting like an impulsive child- a trait that I tried for the past 6 years to dispel from you" Snape relinquished his hold on her and crossed his arms.

"Well, I don't think so" Sarah crossed her arms herself, but Severus ignored her and continued, "...you decide to speak at Dumbledore's service, you risk your life for clothes and pictures and don't even have the sense enough to bring your wand and now you tell me that you are to marry after the war? Clearly, if you are too young to think rationally, you are too young to marry"

Sarah shook her head in disbelief. What right did he have to tell her this?

"Opinion noted" Sarah glared at him. "I'll make sure to cross you off the guest list...but you probably won't be around then anyway...if your master doesn't kill you first, I'm sure some auror will...or you will be in Azkaban. Nobody will really miss you"

She was beginning to feel emboldened by her anger. Smirking, she continued. "By the way" her tone turned light as she bounced a bit on the bed. "You commanding me to sit here on this bed reminds me. Your bed at Hogwarts is awfully comfortable"

Severus struggled to maintain his cover, but inside he groaned at where this could possibly be going. He hoped she didn't do something utterly foolish- in his bed nonetheless. "Oh yes?" he folded his hands, fingers touching.

"Fred and I had quite the good snog on it" Sarah grinned. "Things were getting...ah a bit heated, if you know what I mean, but Fred is ever the gentleman...stopped us before we could christen it...a shame really, I'm sure it never got much action from you"

Severus turned his head away from her. He forced himself to take deep breaths, when what he really wanted to do was pick her up, turn her over his knee and smack sense back into her- he didn't care if she was almost of age or if she thought he was evil and never loved her- this was just unacceptable on so many levels. And the thought of her in his bed with Weasley turned his stomach- at this point, she wouldn't put it past her if she did so just to get even with him. She was being so reckless. If she told off the Dark Lord like this, she was finished. She had to find a way to release her anger bottled up and move on, otherwise, it would become a liability for her.

When he turned his head back, his voice was cold. "Are you quite finished?"

"Oh, no Snape" Sarah replied with a toss of her head. "There is much more I want to say to you"

"Then say it" he barked at her. "Or do you not have the Gryffindor" he spat the name like it was a curse, "courage to do so?"

Sarah rose slowly. "You are a horrid person, Severus Snape. You say that Harry's dad and my dad and Remus were such bullies, but that's just a cover because they made you feel weak and look like a fool. But you held onto that for so long, that you became the fool because they ended up being good men and you ended up a disaster...a fucking disaster..."

Tears threatened to fall. She knew she should stop, but it felt so good to unleash her frustration. "And still like a teenager, you _are_ weak. You are Voldemort's minion and he will throw you out when he is done with you and not think twice about it. You will die despised, while the ones you hated so much died heroes. You just could never get it right, could you? It's why mum chose dad over you and Lily chose James because they saw what I see now...just some pathetic excuse for a human...a completely, unlovable waste"

The knife twisted inside his chest, but still he willed himself to remain calm. Yes, he was furious and yes, one day when she learned the truth, she would face consequences for her carelessness and her words today. He knew it came from a deep place of hurt and that he had created the bitterness, the hatred inside of her. But still, it was taking every measure of strength not to go over there, pick her up and give her a good shaking. One more word, might push him over the edge...he decided she had enough chance to vent and he needed to leave before he did something he would regret.

"_Enough_" Severus ground out. "That is enough, Sarah" He glared at her. "Stay here. Do not move" He swept out of the room, down the stairs to his study. Throwing floo powder in, he called, "Narcissa!"

Narcissa came to the floo a few moments later. "What is it, Sev?"

"Are you alone?" he asked, getting straight the point.

"Yes, why?" Narcissa asked.

"I need contraceptive potion" his voice was abrupt.

A pause. For once, Narcissa was speechless. "What?" she tried unsuccessfully to remove the shock from her voice. "Who are you..."

"Just bring it through" Severus snapped and Narcissa came through a few minutes later. She handed it to him, curiosity getting the better of him..."What in Merlin's name..."

"Can you wait here?" he took it from her. "I need you. I'll explain in a few minutes" He left and headed back to Sarah's room. Gathering a breath, he forced himself again to remain calm as he entered her room.

"Take this" Severus placed it in her hand. "If you insist on having getting married and having sex or whatever comes first, you should be prepared. I don't want any Weasley brats running around"

"I don't want it" Sarah snapped. "What if I want to have a baby?"

"Don't be ridiculous" Snape barked back at her. "Why would anyone want to have a child?" He regretted it the moment he saw the hurt in her eyes, but Sarah had been cruel to him and pushed him to it.

Sarah lost control of her emotions. Tears streaming down her eyes, she slumped her shoulders, defeated. "Don't worry, Snape. If I have a baby and I die, I won't make the same mistake my mother did. You will never have to be burdened with my child. Actually, you will never be welcomed near my child" She grabbed her bag, which she had finished packing in Snape's absence. "Can I leave now?"

"By all means" Severus gestured her along, but as she reached the door, he called, "Sarah Grace?"

Sarah turned, wiping her eyes.

"You do know that you are under the trace until your birthday and until then it would be quite unwise for you to help Potter in whatever he is trying to do?"

Sarah blinked. Why would Snape care? Then she remembered- the whole council and protect clause of his unbreakable vow. "I have the situation in hand, thank you" she responded, stiffly.

Severus knew he should let her go, but his fatherly instincts were still strong.

"and Sarah?" Snape pressed.

"Yes?" She groaned. "What now?"

"Having a potion or reading a muggle magazine doesn't prepare you for having sex. You should really talk to someone" His tone was gentle, almost old Snape-like.

Sarah had no response for that one. She left, both of them feeling quite shattered.

* * *

Snape went back to the study. Narcissa was sipping a cup of tea that Wiggles had brought her. She had, of course, seen Sarah leave through the floo. She could only imagine what they were both going through right now.

Narcissa patted the seat next to her and Severus sat, wearily. "Would you like some tea?" She asked. "Or perhaps some firewhiskey?"

"Tea is fine" Severus retorted and she poured him a cup and handed it to him. He took a sip and then placed it on the table in front of him.

Slumping over, her buried his head in his hands. He rubbed his face, before sighing and looking at his friend. "She hates me. You should have heard her. I have never seen her be that ugly towards anybody before, even her Slytherin rivals. I created that in her-it's like all the sweetness that made me love her so tenderly is gone. Have I destroyed her?"

Narcissa put a hand on his back and rubbed it soothingly. Severus tensed initially, but then relaxed under her touch. "She is a child, Sev- a child who you just told that you had never loved- that it had all been a sick lie. She was bound to react that way to you"

He groaned. "I know, but she knew exactly what to say to hurt me the most. You should have heard her. She called me weak and pathetic. She said that I will die hated, while James and Sirius died heroes...and that she knew exactly why Lily chose James and Gracie turned her back on me...that I am unlovable, a waste...it's like all my hurts, all my insecurities she threw back in my face"

"Oh, Sev" Narcissa put her arms around his shoulders. "Children get nasty at times...I know Sarah never really has, but she has a lot going on right now. I'm sure she didn't mean it...when she learns the truth..."

"I know she will be repenting" Severus responded, "but that almost makes it worse. Can you imagine how she will feel when she learns that I am doing this all for her? I forgive her already, because I know how hurt she is, but she will need a lot of coaxing for her to forgive herself. She will feel so guilty and ashamed. I made a vow that I would never let her live with that burden because I know how devastating it can be"

"So then when the time comes you and her will work through it together" Cissy told him. "It isn't hopeless"

Severus grunted. "But there is more. She's engaged."

Narcissa sucked in her breath. "To the Weasley twin?" She frowned, knowing her son would be devastated by that turn of events.

"She is too young, she is not thinking clearly" Severus ran his hand through his hair. "What does she know about marriage?"

Narcissa bit her lip. "Is that why you asked for the potion?"

"I gave it to her" Severus said. "I know I shouldn't because it could have been construed as caring, but she needs it. She doesn't know anything about marriage or sex...do you know what she told me? She said that she and Fred had quite a good snog _in my bed_! In my bed, Narcissa" He shuddered. "And then she implied that was the most action my bed has ever gotten...I mean, really, how does she know what happens in my bed?"

Narcissa giggled. "Oh, Poor Sev!"

"I wanted so much to take her over my knee right then and spank the snottiness right out of her" Snape groaned. "Wait until she learns the truth...I'm not going to forget that comment"

She laughed. "I have no doubt that you will" She shook her head at it all. "Do you think she and Weasley are having sex?"

"No" Severus sighed. "But that is the problem. Yes, I severed our relationship and was cruel to her, telling her it was all a lie. But I am still her father. I still feel as if I am her father because I know the truth. And I so wanted to be her father today. I wanted to reprimand her for her recklessness. I wanted to discipline her for her attitude, carelessness and cruel words... and most of all, I wanted to take her hand and help her sort through all this mess that I created. I'm so worried about her. I don't think she is prepared to take this next step with Weasley...and the way she is acting, I think she might be more of a hindrance than a help to Potter"

"So what will you do?" Narcissa asked, rubbing his shoulders.

"Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do" Severus replied, grimly. "I just have to wait and hope that she doesn't do anything too terrible and that she can work through it on her own"

* * *

Sarah stepped through the floo to find loud voices, who seemed to be arguing- about her. _Oh, this is just great, _she thought.

"Remus, I really think we need to wait" Tonks tried to reason with him. "It hasn't been that long-"

"Wait, Dora?" Remus's normally gentle voice echoed through the room. "Anything could have happened to her-she doesn't have her wand..."

"I'm right here" Sarah tried to remain calm, but she didn't like how worked up Remus was. She had seem him like this once before- in her third year- and she had vowed never to make him angry again.

Remus turned on his heels towards her. "Where have you been?" He waved the note, wildly. "Errands...there is a bloody war going on here, Sarah. We are trying our best to keep you safe..." his voice trailed off as he saw her bag, bulging with clothes. He glanced at Tonks, who picked up immediately on the situation.

"Remus, love, let's not lose our temper" she advised him, but it was too late.

"Please tell me, you did not do what I think you did" his voice was icy.

"Do you want me to lie to you, Remus?" Sarah shrugged her shoulders.

Lupin took a shuddering breath, the hold on his temper loosening considerably. "Go upstairs. I can't even talk to you right now"

Sarah threw down her bag, the strain of the day unraveling her. "No, thank you"

"No?" He tried to maintain his calm. "Sarah, I'm trying not to completely lose my temper with you, but it is close to the full moon...and I need time to sort through this" His voice trailed as he clutched his hands, fisting them. "Just go to your room"

"I don't want another dad, Remus" She raised her voice at him, practically shouting. "The first one was never around and the second one is a bastard, so I don't want to sort through anything with you"

"I'm aware of that" Remus snapped. "And believe me, I am not trying to be your dad. But you are in _my_ house, under my care...and we will talk about this. Now, stop arguing and go to your room"

"I don't have to be here" Sarah began to cry. "If I am too much trouble, I will just leave..." She picked up her bag and turned back towards the floo, but Lupin quickly caught her arm and turned her back around.

Taking another breath, he put both of his hands on her shoulders. Bending down, he looked into her eyes. "We want you here with us, Sarah. You aren't too much trouble, but you are in trouble now. We need to talk about it, but I have just spent the last hour, frantically worried that something had happened to you, that You Know Who somehow captured you, only to find that you put yourself in a situation that made you extremely vulnerable to the worst happening. I'm angry about it and I need time to not be. But if you expect me to somehow just ignore the fact that it happened, you know I can't do that. Now go to your room and I will be there shortly"

Sarah stared at him and turned to Tonks. "I think you better go upstairs now, Sarah" she advised her, gently.

Knowing she was defeated, she climbed the steps to her room. Once there, she threw herself on her bed and sobbed.

Twenty minutes later, Sarah lied defeated, her sobs had become hiccups, but she was still broken. She had pulled Paddy out of her bag, and was snuggling her stuffed dog on her bed, wrapped up in a blanket.

Remus knocked on the door. "Can I come in?" he asked, his voice gentle. Gone was the anger of before, left in its place a deep concern. He and Tonks had heard the wrenching sobs that lasted well through their debate of what to do...and it quickly dispelled any anger he felt at her recklessness.

He placed a box of tissues on her nightstand. Grabbing one, he dangled it out in front of her. "Sit up and blow your nose and wipe your tears. It will make you feel better"

She struggled to pull herself up. She took the tissue from him and wiped her eyes and blew her nose. It did make her feel better.

"Now then, would you like to tell me what happened with Snape?" he asked, kindly.

Sarah struggled as more tears threatened to erupt. "I..." her voice broke again.

"Take your time to compose yourself, Sarah" Remus told her. "Here, take another tissue" He handed her another one and Sarah tried to pull herself back together.

"Ready to talk?" he asked patiently and Sarah nodded, crumpling the tissue up in her hand.

"I just wanted my things, Remus. I know its stupid, but there were pictures of mum and dad...I knew he was under the unbreakable vow not to hurt me, I didn't see what the harm would be. I asked Wiggles if he was alone, and she said yes. So, I knew I was safe" Sarah sniffed and pulled Paddy closer to her. "But it did hurt, worse than I ever thought it could"

"I see" Remus replied. "Did he harm you?" his voice was sharp, and Sarah was quick to assure him that she wasn't hurt- physically at least.

Sarah shook her head. "No, he didn't really touch me. But he told me I was wasting my life by marrying Fred and I'm acting like an impulsive child. It made me so angry- he was being so condescending...I kind of told him off. I was really nasty"

"What did you say?"

"I brought up terrible things like how he deserved Dad and James bullying him and how they died heroes and Snape was going to die despised. I called him pathetic and a waste...and I told him I understood why Lily never loved him"

Remus let out his breath. "That doesn't sound like you, Sarah" he told her. He wasn't being judgmental and Sarah was thankful for that. She was angry at Snape and rightfully so, but still, she felt that she had maybe carried things too far. She didn't want to end up like him and she felt like she could be headed there.

Sarah shook her head. "No, it doesn't, does it?" She looked at her hands. "And I told him that I snogged Fred in his bed just to get him angry"

Remus raised an eyebrow. "Did you really?"

Sarah nodded, rather embarrassed. "Um, yeah, we did"

Lupin frowned. "You and Fred aren't...?"

She shook her head swiftly, "no, but Snape made sure to give me contraceptive potion and told me to use it...that he didn't know why anybody would want to have a child...and then he told me that potions and muggle magazines aren't enough to prepare me for having sex, which was weird thing to say considering" She didn't know why she was confessing all to Lupin, but he was such a good listener...

"I see" Lupin studied her. "You should talk to Dora about it...she would love to talk to you and to answer any questions"

"Really?" Sarah asked and Lupin nodded. "Of course...she cares about you. We both do. We know you are struggling here and are making life altering decisions. We want to help you with whatever you need"

Tears rose up again. She knew he was disappointed with her, but he was being so kind. "I'm really sorry, Lupin. I shouldn't have gone"

"That's right, you shouldn't have" Lupin patted her knee, firmly. "And you're grounded for a week. No going out, no floo, no owl and no TV...and we are shortening Fred's visits" His voice grew significantly sterner. "and you know, young lady, you should _never_ enter a potentially dangerous situation without your wand"

Sarah shook her head, woefully at her stupidity. "I do know that, sir, I'm just not thinking clearly anymore"

"Perhaps some time to think about your actions would do you well" Lupin nudged her. "And 300 lines of 'I will always have my wand' might help with that"

Sarah gulped, but Remus raised an eyebrow at her, and she knew she would be foolish to argue with him.

"That's fair" Sarah responded, running her hand through her head, before meeting his eyes. "Are you still mad at me? Please don't be"

Lupin rose and kissed her cheek. "No, you are like your mother- I can never stay mad at you for very long especially when you are so upset"

She reached up and threw her arms around him. "Thanks for listening"

He squeezed her. "Don't let the bitterness destroy you, Paddy" he said in a low voice.

"I know, Uncle Moony" she whispered. "I'm trying"

Lupin smiled and kissed her again. "I've waited fifteen years for you to call me that again, Sarah"

Sarah smiled back. "Thanks for taking me on, the pathetic mess that I am"

"You're welcome" he replied. "And you aren't pathetic for the record"

"Really?" Sarah laughed, showing him the tissues in hand. "Thanks for that"

Lupin laughed again. "Stick to your room, Paddy. I'll call you for dinner. Andromeda and Ted are coming over. Dora and I feel like it is about time you got to know her mother"

"Will she give me an idea about how to deal with her sister?" Sarah groaned. "Bellatrix wants me dead"

"Bellatrix wants everyone dead" Lupin replied. "But yeah, I think you should talk to her about it. Just be forewarned- don't mention the family resemblance. Doesn't go over well"

"Dully noted" Sarah nodded. "I can't say I blame her in the least"

Up next: The Lupins share good news...& Harry is moved to the Burrow.

A/N2: ok, Sarah was a terribly snotty & cruel in this chapter to Sev...even when they do reconcile, she will have alot to account for...poor Sev- how do you think he handled the situation?...and yay, Lupin sweetness..I just love him! I didn't want to write him too dad like (because as Sarah said, she doesn't need another dad!), but I wouldn't think that Lupin would turn a blind eye to the situation without a scolding and punishment.. what do you all think?


	16. Wondering

A/N: This chapter was a bit hard to write, thus the delay...so sorry...and after such lovely reviews! :( I appreciate all your thoughts- please keep them coming! And you guys inspired me to write that scene between Sarah and Sev regarding her "time of the month"...:) It's a one-shot under my author page entitled "Raising a Girl"...let me know what you think! Hopefully it does our characters justice...And finally, as a warning, while this story follows most major events in cannon- I took some liberty with the character of Andromeda...her story isn't really flushed out in cannon, so I decided to do so...it may come to play later on...we shall see...Ok, onward...and let me know what you guys think! And as usual, I don't own...

**Chapter 16: Wondering**

Sarah spent the next hour in her room, thinking about the events of the day. Even hours later, she couldn't help feeling shaken over her confrontation with Snape. It was a wonder to her that this could still be true, but as she thought it over, there was only one conclusion she could draw: after 6 years of Snape being her quasi-father, she couldn't help but crave his good opinion and approval, even if he had proved unworthy. She was having a hard time splitting herself emotionally from Snape and that worried her. Yes, she knew all of it was a lie, but to _her_- in regards to _her_ feelings, it wasn't a lie. Even though she knew it was wrong, part of her continued to love him as a father- _her_ father. How does one just erase that?

Sighing, she walked over to change her outfit. Fred was coming to dinner tonight as well as Tonks's parents. She put on a jean skirt and long sleeve blue shirt and re-braided her hair. Then, she went back to plop down on her bed, lost in her thoughts until she heard a knock on the door.

"Come in" Sarah mumbled, swinging her legs over the bed.

"Remus wanted me to tell you dinner is in 20 minutes" Fred poked his head in. "And that you needed to talk to me about something, but gave me strict orders to leave the door open"

Sarah smirked as she swung her legs back on the bed, stretching them out and she scooted back to lean against the headboard. "He did, did he?"

Fred laughed. "That he did" He pushed her legs to the side to sit on the bed next to her, stopping for a minute to rub them gently, running his fingers up and down her calf, initiating a spark in both of them. "I love it when you wear a skirt, Sarah" his voice was low.

Sarah blushed as her stomach began to flutter as she tried to control the feelings he was eliciting in her by his touch. "So, dinner in 20 minutes?" she asked, somewhat shyly.

Fred leaned forward to kiss her gently on the lips. "Yes, now what do you have to tell me, Sarah?"

Sarah frowned and cursed Remus for meddling. Fred would not be pleased, but she hoped he would understand.

She leaned forward to kiss him, deepening their kiss as she ran her hand up and down _his_ leg. They kissed for a few minutes before Fred pulled away.

He tilted his head, surveying her, amused. "Are you trying to distract me?"

She laughed. "Maybe, or trying to get you in a jolly mood" She ducked her head a bit as she eyed him sheepishly.

Fred groaned, dramatically placing his hands on his head, shaking it. "Oh, Merlin help us, I know that look too well. What did you do _this time_, Sarah?"

"Hey" she nudged him, playfully, "Just remember- all that trouble I got in back then was under you influence...this time, I'm just branching out on my own"

Fred smirked. "You, my dear, have been branching out on your own for quite some time in the trouble department...  
he smacked her leg playfully, "so what did you do?"

Sarah met his eyes. "I went back to Snape Manor to collect my things..."

Fred grew serious as studied her. Sarah couldn't really read his expression and he didn't talk for what seemed like minutes, but in reality it was probably only a few seconds. "Did you hex Snape?" he finally asked.

"I kind of forgot my wand" she told him. "Otherwise, I would have most definitely done so...and before you say anything else, I know that was stupid. I should always have my wand and I usually do...I was just distracted"

Fred nodded. "I know you know that" he paused. "Did you see Snape?"

Sarah bit her lip as tears sprung to her eyes. Frustrated to be fighting tears once again, she turned her head to hide them.

Fred moved closer to her and gently turned her head back towards him. "No, no, it's ok. I'm going to be your husband. I hate it when you cry, but I would rather you feel free to do so in front of me then be strong all the time" He cupped her face with his hands.

"Ok" she covered his hands with her own and Fred dropped them to where they were intertwined between them.

"What happened?" he asked gently.

And once again, Sarah told him everything including the contraception potion and Snape's warning.

"The bastard" Fred grumbled. "He is just trying to scare you out of it...you aren't scared by it now, are you?"

"No" she reassured him. "I love you...but do you think he is right? Are we being impulsive? I will only be of age in September"

"Why do you even care what he thinks?" Fred asked her, incredulously. He was attempting to remain calm, but Sarah could tell that he was tense.

"You're getting upset" Sarah observed and released his hand.

Fred ran his hands through his hair. "Of course I'm getting upset! Why do you care what he thinks? He should have no influence over you, not anymore" His voice raised a notch or two.

Sarah jumped up. "Because he is still my dad! And despite the nastiness, there were moments that I could have sworn that he was still being my father!" She paused as if shocked by her statement. Finally, she hung her head and buried her hands in her face. "Oh, Merlin, I'm just so confused! I sound like I should be admitted to St. Mungos"

Fred stood and walked over to her. He pulled her hands away from her face and wrapped his arms around her tightly. "I'm sorry. I know you are confused. I didn't mean to upset you more" he whispered.

Sarah pulled away from him. "But am I being mental, Fred? You can tell me if I am"

He shook his head swiftly. "You aren't" he reassured her quickly. "You are handling it better than anyone has expected. Mum even said that the other day- she wonders how you are so calm" Fred led her back to sit on the bed. "But do you doubt the memories Snape showed you?"

"No" Sarah looked upward at the ceiling. "I saw him kill Dumbledore. He had to have been Voldemort's man all along..."

"But" Fred pressed, squeezing her hand. "Do you doubt the _memories_ he showed you?"

She shrugged. "Isn't that the same thing? If he loved me truly to begin with,he would have never chosen Voldemort over me- what other explanation could there be?"

"I don't know- it does look bad"

"It does" she concurred.

"And" Fred turned to face her. She met his gaze. "Do you think Snape is right about us getting married?"

"No" Sarah said, releasing his hand as she turned to put her hands around his neck. "Maybe we are being impulsive...but you are the best thing in my life right now. I would be a fool to turn you away"

Fred smiled and kissed her. "I'm glad you feel that way"

"I do" Sarah kissed him deeply. "I really truly do"

* * *

Over dinner, the Lupins chatted comfortably with Andromeda and Ted, making small talk about their daily life, taking great care to not talk about the Order or developments with the war. Sarah and Fred joined in the conversation here and there and it was all in all a pleasant dinner. Sarah learned that Andromeda was a solicitor, which had caused further strain between her and her family. Black women were supposed to marry pureblooded men and have and raise their babies, adding to the family tree. Having a career and marrying a muggle was akin to getting sorted into Hufflepuff for the Black family according to Andromeda. She gave an apologetic look to Tonks afterwards, who had indeed been sorted into Hufflepuff. Sarah could tell right away that she liked Andromeda, even if she did resemble her wacko sister.

After dinner, Andromeda settled herself on the couch with a glass of red wine. Taking off her shoes, she curled her legs up on the couch, relaxing. Fred and Ted both insisted on helping Remus and Tonks clean up, leaving Sarah alone with her Dad's favorite cousin. She supposed they had conspired it, but she was glad to get to know her dad's side of the family that weren't completely mental. Sarah sat in a chair next to the fire with a glass of water, crossing her legs as she wiggled to get comfortable in the chair.

"Tell me, Sarah" she sat her glass down on the coffee table beside her, "How are you coping with everything?"

"It depends on when you catch me...sometimes I feel alright...but other times..." she let out a breath as she looked down at the glass she was holding. "things have been rather difficult of late" she admitted.

"Well, I had figured as much. Of course it has been difficult" she eyed her carefully, as if deliberating which words to choose, "I, like many others, were shocked by Snape's betrayal"

"Really?" Sarah took a sip of water and leaned forward, her elbows resting on her thighs. " But I thought most of the Order were suspicious of him to begin with"

"Indeed" she paused, "but I saw a different side to him, with your mother...and with my sister. He wasn't always cold and unkind. He was fiercely protective of the ones he loved. I would never thought of him to commit outright murder, especially of someone he considered a mentor..." Andromeda sighed. "Forgive me, I'm rambling. I guess he just seemed different than a typical Death Eater, especially when around my sister"

"Were you and your sisters close?" Sarah frowned, not wanting to pry into personal information. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Tonks" she rushed to say, "I don't wish to be rude"

"Don't be shy, Sarah, You can call me Andi" Andromeda laughed."You actually just reminded me of my sister there- such proper manners"

Sarah's eyes grew wide in horror, but Andi laughed harder. "Not the crazy one, dear..._Narcissa_" She picked her her glass and took a few gulps.

Sarah visibly relaxed. "Mrs. Malfoy used to take me shopping often. before Voldemort's return...and after, she was over the house quite a bit. She did sometimes hound me on proper etiquette" She smiled wryly. "Sometimes I think she was trying to make me worthy of marrying a Malfoy"

"My nephew was quite taken with you, wasn't he?" Andi replied knowingly.

"How did you know about that?" Sarah asked, incredulous.

Andromeda waved her hand. "Oh, it caused quite the stir in the Order whether it was proper for the best friend of the chosen one to align herself with a Malfoy...and all that nonsense. We aren't official members, but word does get around quickly"

"Merlin" Sarah muttered, as her face turned red at the prospects of people talking about her and Draco.

"But that is quite old news now" Andi smiled at her, "since you are engaged to Fred"

Sarah nodded and Andromeda continued, "but to get back to your original question, at one point my sisters and I were close- at least Cissy and I were- but of course that ended with my life choices. Narcissa, while I don't believe her to be loyal to you-know-who, is hopelessly loyal to her husband who would never welcome a blood traitor into his family"

"Wait...so you don't believe Narcissa to be a supporter of Vol-you know who?" Sarah tried to digest that information as she clutched her glass in her hand.

"I do not" Andromeda leaned forward. "Have you ever seen the dark mark on her?"

"But Lucius is such a adamant supporter...surely he would have dragged Narcissa into some of it" Sarah argued.

Andromeda snorted. "Only when it benefits him. He will do or say anything to increase the power of the Malfoy name- for his political purposes. Bellatrix on the other hand..."

Sarah groaned and wrinkled her nose. "She said something to me really bizarre that night that Dumbledore died..."

Andromeda snickered. "Everything my sister says in bizarre, she is rather insane...though, I'm curious to know... what did she say to you? " she grew serious, "I hope she didn't say anything about your father...I am sorry for what she did. I always loved Sirius"

"Dad was wonderful" Sarah responded. "And he told me you were his favorite cousin..."

Andi smiled. "That's good to hear, thank you..." she picked up her glass again and walked over to sit in the chair next to Sarah's. She patted her arm. "Now, child, what did she say?"

Sarah swallowed. "She said that Vol-you know who would like me and that wouldn't do" Sarah shuffled her feet. "I haven't heard of you know who liking anyone..."

"Oh, tread carefully, Sarah" Andromeda cautioned. "My sister is obsessed with you know who...I think she fancies her self in love with him...and you are rather pretty...and from what I have heard from Remus and Dora, you are powerful as well...and she hates your uncle for some reason...maybe because Narcissa is closer to him that she is to her...and also because Snape succeeded in Draco's mission"

Sarah took a breath as a memory emerged again in her mind, causing her to wonder if there was any other pieces she was forgetting.

"What is it, Sarah?" Andromeda grew concerned at Sarah's expression.

Sarah turned in her chair. "Tell me, Andi...given what we know about Snape and Narcissa, would you find it odd that Snape made the unbreakable vow with her to protect Draco and carry out his mission?"

"He did?" Andromeda let out a breath. "But why would he do that when..."

But before she could finish her statement, the others joined them and the two of them never got to finish their conversation.

"Remus and I have some news, we wanted to share" Tonks smiled as Andromeda moved back to the couch and Fred took her spot next to Sarah.

"Well, what is it?" Ted prompted.

"We're having a baby!" Tonks squealed and Lupin grinned rather widely.

Andromeda jumped up to embrace her daughter in a hug as Fred and Sarah both stood.

Sarah approached Remus. "That's fabulous news, Remus" she hugged him. "My parents would be thrilled. They always wanted you to be happy"

Remus pulled away. "I miss them, Sarah. It's a joy I want to share with my friends and yet..." He squeezed her arms. "Enough of that. Dora and I want to ask you...and Harry too"

"Ask me what?" Sarah smiled at him, though her confusion was evident.

"To be baby Lupin's godmother, Paddy"

Sarah's throat grew tight at the gesture. "But I'm not sure I'm at all qualified..." her voice was soft.

"Nonsense" Tonks turned around as she was listening to the conversation. "There is none I would want more. Both you and Harry mean the world to Lupin...and myself"

"And" Fred came up to wrap his arms around her waist. kissing her cheek. "Who better to teach a fellow child of a Marauder the Marauder ways?"

Lupin snorted. "Oh, dear, Dora we are in for some trouble..."

They all laughed heartily at that one.

"Well, Sarah?" Lupin asked, his eyes conveying all the happiness that the Marauders had always wished for him.

"Of course, I will" Sarah responded, her eyes filled with wonder, thinking of the trust they were putting in her. She was truly undeserving of their kindness. "I'd be honored"

* * *

Another few weeks had passed and it was time for the Order to transport Harry to the Burrow. An order meeting was held and there was much debate, trying to come up with a plan that would keep Harry safe. Finally, they decided to use polyjuice on some of the younger members who would accompany the older members as Harry-decoys. Everyone thought it was a brilliant idea and Sarah concurred until they told her that she couldn't be a Harry-decoy.

"B...but" Sarah sputtered as she was getting outvoted, "Why do they get to go..." she swirled around and pointed wildly at Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, Fleur. "and I can't? Harry is my best friend. Dumbledore said that I was to stand with him. I have to go"

"You are still under the trace" Mr. Weasley reminded her in a quiet voice. "It is too great a risk"

"I don't see it that way" Sarah responded, her hands fisted. "It is only if I use magic and even if the Death Eaters intercept us, the shots will be firing so fast, the ministry will have no idea that I cast the spells"

"No matter" Lupin told her, his voice unusually dismissive. In the past, he always took great care to listen to Sarah, but now he just seemed to want to cut her off."The rule is that you must be of age or have a guardian's permission and since your guardian..."

"Is a blasted Death Eater that doesn't care if I live or die!" Sarah slammed her hands on the table. "This is not time to hang on to some bloody rules. I want to go"

"And then" Mad-Eye ignored her outburst of anger, "there is question of whether the worst happens if you would be able to take the necessary action to defend yourself"

Sarah's temper flared up. She knew it was silly, but her pride felt very insulted by Moody's words.

"Excuse me?" Sarah stood slowly. "I have never gotten below an outstanding in charms and defense and I was trained for the past 6 years by a bloody Death Eater in both defensive and aggressive spells not to mention occlumency...I have faced you-know-who with Harry two times before and I am here to tell you about it" she put her hands on her hip and scowled at him in a look quite reminiscent of Snape, "I'm two months from age. I can hold my own"

"Paddy" Lupin's tone softened with her as he chided, "Alastor is not doubting your abilities"

"I have no doubt that you can hold your own, girl" Moody growled, his eyes swirling around to stare at her, "but will you choose to do so?"

Sarah flinched at its implications as she caught Fred's eye. "Will I kill Snape you mean?" The adults were surprised by how stoic she was, but Sarah had put up her shields and cleared her expression, like Snape had drilled into her.

"Now now" Molly interceded, a bit concerned at her lack of expression. "We don't need to go there right now. But Sarah, you need to move past this. The Order has voted and you have not been chosen for the mission"

Molly reached to pat her arm gently, trying to calm her down. Finally, she turned to her last ally, "Tonks, please?" her voice was steady, but Tonks knew she was horribly at the edge.

"Molly's right, Sarah" Tonks finally spoke. "Plus, we need you here. If for some reason the wards are breached, you will need to help Molly"

Sarah let out a breath. "Alright then...I'll just go find Gin" she mumbled, clearly upset. Fred stood to follow her, but Remus shook his head. "Leave her be, Fred. We know it is hard for her to take. She is used to jumping right into the action, but in time she'll see the reason in it"

"I'm not sure she will" Fred told them. "You guys don't get it. She wants to be there because look around, if the worst happens, she is left with nothing. Hermione, Ron, Harry, me, Lupin, Tonks...we are all she has left" He stared at them and headed for the door. "And too many have been taken from her already. Sorry, Lupin, I have to find her"

"I understand that all too well" Lupin frowned. "And I suspect Molly does too..."

"That I do" Molly whispered. "I'll be here for her, Fred, when you are all away. We will face it together"

Fred nodded and left to find Sarah. And when he convinced Gin to leave them alone, they didn't say anything to each other- he just sat and held her hand until the Order meeting had finished and Lupin collected her to go home.

* * *

"You will be careful?" Sarah gave Hermione a hug and then reached to embrace Ron. "And tell Harry that I wanted to come?"

"We will, Sarah" Hermione reassured her. "He will understand that you couldn't come and you will be here when he comes"

"Don't worry" Ron patted her arm. "We'll be fine"

Sarah nodded, but she couldn't fight the queasy feeling in her stomach as she turned to Fred. Her lip started to quiver and Fred kissed her before she could start to cry.

Sarah's heart was full. She felt so broken behind left behind like this-unable to help and defend the ones she loved. Having to wait for them to return, wondering what had happened, not knowing if the worst had happened...It was too much for her.

"Please just don't die on me" Sarah whispered in his ear and Fred's heart lurched for his fiancee.

"I'll come back, Sarah" Fred squeezed her tightly, trying to erase her fear-even though they both knew the validity behind it. If the Death Eaters intercepted them, it was likely that not all of them would return.

"It's time to go" Lupin told the others as Fred gently untangled Sarah from his arms, but held onto her hand.

Remus walked over to talk to Sarah quietly. "If something happens and the wards here are breached, go into hiding with Molly and Ginny. If you get separated, you can always return to Grimmauld Place. It's still unplottable and probably one of the safest places for you if in a pinch. You don't have your apparition license, but if the ministry falls that won't matter to begin with"

"I understand. Our apparition practices in the past few weeks have prepared me" Sarah forced a shaky smile. "Good luck"

"Everything will be fine, Paddy" Remus kissed her head. Fred let go of her hand and Molly came to stand next to her after making the rounds to hug her husband and all her children (plus Lupin, Tonks, Fleur, and Hermione). She put her arm around her as they watched the others leave.

"Come along, dears" Molly told her and Ginny. "We will have some tea"

"Do you really think that will help mum?" Ginny asked her incredulously.

"No, but sometimes it is best to pretend that it will" Molly told her, matter-of factually and even Sarah had to chuckle at that one.

* * *

The time crawled past and with each passing minute, Sarah's worry increased significantly. She couldn't help that feel that something terrible must had happened. Mrs. Weasley while trying to remain strong for her and Ginny started cleaning the house in a furry- without magic. She had never seen that happen before and it served to increase her worry.

Finally, they heard what sounded like rumbling in the distance. Mrs. Weasley looked out the window. Turning around, she told the girls sharply, "Wands out. Just in case"

Sarah pulled out her wand and rushed towards the door. Squinting her eyes she tried to seeing what was coming. Then she saw him and she sighed in relief. "It's Harry. With Hagrid" she called as Mrs. Weasley and Ginny came running.

Hagrid eased the motorbike to the ground and Harry got down. And then she saw his face- Harry could never hide his expressions well and she knew something went terribly wrong.

"What happened?" she approached him, her breathing becoming rapid.

"Death Eaters...Voldemort. They _knew_"

Molly gasped and covered her mouth. "And the others?"

"We don't know" Hagrid replied.

"Everything was happening so quickly" Harry shuddered. "It was hard to tell"

Sarah shivered and hugged herself to try to keep warm.

After a few moments of silence, Molly spoke. "Well, come inside. I'll make more tea" Molly said and absently turned around. Hagrid followed and Ginny with a final longing look towards Harry, turned back to go in with the others.

"Who was there?" Sarah's voice was hoarse.

"Pretty much your standard ones" Harry replied, vaguely. He knew what she was asking, but he couldn't bring himself to tell her, not when she was looking like this.

"I wanted to come along" Sarah whispered, holding her wand limp in her hand. "They wouldn't let me. I'm not of age"

"Hey" Harry tugged at her hand and pulled her into his arms. "They told me that and considering what happened, I'm thankful. I wouldn't want anything to have happened to you"

"I'm really glad you are ok" she replied, squeezing him tightly.

"It's my fault" Harry's voice shook. "All of this- _because of me_. Hedwig is dead. She took a curse for me. Who else is dead, Sarah? First Cedric, then Sirius. All these deaths on my hands..."

Sarah pulled away. "Harry, no" her voice grew stronger. "This is all because of _Voldemort_. _He_ is the one to blame. You have done nothing wrong. And if there are sacrifices, they are made to defeat him" She threw herself back at Harry. "I missed you. I'm so glad you are alright...not because you are the boy who lived- the savior and all that nonsense, but because you are my best friend...and I can't imagine what life would be like without you"

Harry arms around her grew tighter as he gripped her. "You are really the strongest out of all of us, you know?"

Sarah pulled away again, her lip trembling. "I don't feel strong at all. I want to run away or curl up in some cave and just forget this whole bloody mess...but then I think of my parents...I want them to be proud. So, I want to fight- with you. We will find these horcruxes. We will destroy them...it's the only way any of us have a hope for a future"

"You are right" Harry nodded at her. "Come on" he threw an arm around her shoulders. "Let's go inside"

"If you don't mind- I kind of want to wait here...for the others"

Harry led them to the stoop and they sat down, his arm still around her- their eyes to the night sky. "I heard you are getting married" he told her, "way to drop that information...you could have had some lead up to that"

Sarah twisted her ring, her mind on Fred. "And what do you think of that choice?"

But before he could respond, they heard the apparition popping noise and they both scrambled to their feet. It was Bill and Fleur, followed by Hermione and Shacklebolt, Ron and Tonks, and finally Fred and Lupin. They all came in from the field and Sarah ran out to meet them, launching herself in Fred's arms. He had to plant his feet firmly in the ground as Sarah's sudden rush threatened to topple them backwards onto the muddy field.

"I was so scared" Sarah sobbed. "I thought the worst. I tried to be strong for Harry, but I kept thinking...the worst, you know?"

"Shh" Fred held her tightly. "I kicked some Death eater arse tonight, Sarah. You should be proud"

"I am proud" Sarah squeezed his face and kissed him deeply. There moment got interrupted as Harry was being held at wand point by Remus, who grilled him on questions only Harry would know.

"What's going on?" Sarah took Fred's hand and approached them.

"We were found out, Sarah" Lupin pocket his wand. "There is a spy among us"

Sarah's fear intensified with Lupin's declaration and then doubled with Shacklebolt's revelation. "Mad-Eye is dead"

"Wait..." Fred looked around at the others. "Where is George and Dad?"

The others grew quiet and finally Tonks said, "Lets go inside and wait there. We need to update Molly"

They went inside and were giving Molly an update when they heard a voice yell, "Molly! Come quickly!"

Mr. Weasley was propping George up, his ear a mangled mess, blood flowing from it, drenching his shirt.

"Oh, Merlin" Molly led them inside and Mr. Weasley sat him on the couch. The others huddled around him as Molly tried to stop the bleeding with her healing spells, but while it tapered it, but didn't stop it completely.

Sarah could feel Fred's hand shaking in hers. She knew the bond between the twins were strong and she couldn't imagine what Fred would do if he lost George. It would be like losing a part of himself. She had seen this type of dark magic before and knew that she had been trained for times like these. She squeezed his hand tightly and released it, approaching them.

She pulled her wand out of her pocket. "May I try, Mrs. Weasley?" her voice was quiet, but determined and Molly, though taken aback by her request, allowed it. She crouched down beside George. She leaned to look closer at the damage, grimacing to see her friend- her fiancee's twin this badly hurt. She lightly touched his arm.

"What curse was it?" she asked George, whose eyes were squeezed shut in pain. "Do you remember?" Fred moved to sit next to his twin and gripped his arm.

"Sectumsempra" his eyes opened to meet her and Sarah bit her lip, hard. She had to bite down disgust...and panic for she knew whose signature curse that was. She forced her mind to focus on the task at hand.

Gathering her courage, she moved her wand along his ear. "_Vulnera Sanentur_" She intensified her efforts until the bleeding stopped.

Finally, she turned towards Molly. "Do you have bandages? They way the curse hit...I don't think...what I mean to say" She looked at her, helplessly not wanting to voice what they all know to be true.

"I know it can't be saved Sarah" George told her. "It's alright"

Sarah pushed her hands against the floor and stood. "It's not alright...How did this happen?" She couldn't keep her voice from shaking.

Mr. Weasley cleared his throat. "Snape cast it, but it missed its target and hit his ear instead"

She gripped her wand as her chest felt painfully struggled to catch her breath and it felt like the walls were closing in- suffocating her.

Molly wrapped bandages around George's ear as she looked back at Sarah's pale face. Still she couldn't move, but just stared at the scene in front of her, trying to process the information.

In a rushed attempt to distract her, Tonks came forward and touched her arm, "You would make a good healer. How did you know how to stop it?"

"Snape taught me" Sarah turned on heels and was about to flee the room, but Fred had jumped up and grabbed her arm.

He turned her back to him, but she jerked her arm out of his grasp. "Please, stay with your brother. I need some air. Let me go, please" Her voice sounded so desperate that Fred released her immediately and Sarah ran out of the room. Once outside, she sat back down on the stoop and buried her head in her hands and wondered how it was possible but she felt quite like she had lost Snape all over again.

A/N: just when bits of doubt rose up, it all shattered again. :( Up next: Dumbledore's will (any guesses to what he leaves Sarah?)..Bill and Fleur's wedding and the ministry falls...


	17. Plans

**A/N: **Had a dreadful week...but as I have been resting and recovering from it, I wrote...so here you go...

**Chapter 17: Plans**

Snape flooed back from Malfoy Manor finally, absolutely exhausted. He poured a glass of whiskey from the decanter on his bookshelf and took a large sip, allowing the liquid to warm him and soothe his pain.

"My boy, what happened?" Albus's voice showed his concern.

Severus removed the invisibility charms from the portrait. Dumbledore had arranged for its commission before his death for the purpose of placing it at Snape Manor. Dumbledore had thought that after his death, Snape would need a sounding board and knew that until Voldemort succeeded in his infiltration of the ministry, Snape would not be allowed back in Hogwarts. Its twin was in the Headmaster's office as was custom for all of the deceased Headmasters.

He sat wearily in his chair as he drank. "The Weasley twin...I had no choice"

"Sarah's Fred?" Dumbledore sat up straighter. "Not dead surely..."

"No, George" Snape responded. "And not dead, just maimed permanently. He no longer has an ear thanks to me."

"How did that happen?" Dumbledore asked, sorrowfully at the thought of one of the jolly Weasley twins getting injured in such a permanent way.

"Yaxley had his wand pointed right at Lupin and was about to utter what I could only have assumed to be the killing curse. I tried to curse him before he could do so, but he moved at the last minute and the curse hit George's ear"

"Oh my dear boy" Dumbledore's eyes filled with tears. "You saved Lupin's life tonight. Were they successful in transporting Harry?"

"They were" Snape told him, closing his eyes in weariness. "The Dark Lord was not pleased"

"And Sarah?" his tone was gentle.

"She was not one of the decoys" Snape downed his glass and stood to pour another one, but thought better of it.

"What now, Albus?" he asked. "The ministry is about to fall"

"You become Headmaster and continue to fight for the students"

"You make it sound so easy" Severus muttered, "It isn't easy"

"No, but it is right" Albus reminded him.

"Yes, well" Snape put his glass down on the table. "I'm going to bed. It's been a long night"

"Goodnight, Severus. Sleep well"

Snape shook his head in disbelief that he could have such a relationship with a portrait- taking its advice and finding some sort of comfort from it, but Dumbledore had been given orders from the grave since that fateful night. He put the charms back on the portrait and made his way to his room.

He stopped at Sarah's door. Pushing it open, he lit his wand, allowing some light. Against his better judgment to allow his emotions to rule him, he entered and sat on her bed. He could almost picture her in the room, asleep. He would often go and check on her after she had fallen asleep, before he went to bed. It was a custom that he had continued for all his tenure as her father- even when she was old enough that it was unnecessary. He sat here like this and pulled up any covers that she had kicked off. He would watch her carefully for a few moments to make sure she was sleeping peacefully. She struggled so much with the memories of her encounters with the Dark Lord and with her parents' death that often her dreams plagued her. Once assured that she wasn't in the midst of such dreams, he would kiss her head and go to his own room, always leaving the door cracked. He knew he was known as cold and unfeeling (and now as a cold-blooded murderer), but that was often because he was reserved and people didn't take the time to get to know him. Sarah had broken through those walls in such a short time, much like Lily and very much like his sister.

Merlin help him, he missed her so much. Just as much as he missed Lily and Grace. But while Death had ripped them from him, this separation was at his own hands. He just hoped it wouldn't always be so permanent. He knew she was struggling. How many more wounds would he have to inflict on her before it was all over? And how much more could his child endure? He wished he could be her protector again...but in one sense, he still was-just from afar.

* * *

Sarah took a deep breath and wiped her eyes with her sleeve. She looked up towards the stars, which were twinkling in abundance, lighting up the dark sky. Somehow, the peacefulness of the scene calmed her some. She lifted her legs and hugged her knees against her chest, rocking slightly back and forth. There was so much she couldn't quite understand. It was like there were so many pieces to this puzzle and she couldn't quite make them fit all together. Was she missing something? Or was this just the way it was supposed to be? Snape's allegiance, having to help Harry find the horcruxes...where could she begin to make sense of it all, not to mention the thought of her parents untimely deaths? It was too much.

She heard the door opened and wondered which friend decided to check on her to make sure she hadn't gone completely mental out here by herself.

"Hey" Hermione handed her a cup of cocoa. "It's cold out" she sat next to her and Sarah was not surprised to feel Harry sit on the other side of her and see Ron settle himself cross-legged in front of them, facing them. Harry draped her jacket over her shoulders and Sarah thanked them and started to sip the drink.

"You do understand that Snape's actions have nothing to do with you?" Hermione asked.

"Of course, I know it's not my fault" Sarah responded, gripping her mug, having it warm her cold hands. "It's just I still feel hurt by it..." She struggled to find her words. "I can't really say what I mean. It's complicated"

"It is" Ron agreed. "But my brothers know that if you were there, you would have tried everything you could to prevent Snape from doing that. And you stopped the bleeding. We are all grateful"

"Why his ear though?" Sarah asked, looking down at the cocoa and swishing the cup slightly in her hands.

"Snape missed" Harry shrugged. "Things were happening quite quickly"

"Snape doesn't miss" She bit her lip. "Not with that curse. He invented it"

"Well, he must have done so" Hermione replied. "He isn't infallible"

"He always seemed infallible to me" Sarah muttered. "In strength at least...not necessarily in character"

They fell quiet, until Harry turned to Hermione. "Have you figured out how we can get Sarah to join us?"

"A portkey seems the most logical solution- one that will instantly transport you to wherever we are" Hermione told him. "But we must have something that can be easily concealed"

Sarah thought of the necklace that Snape had given to her. Nobody knew about its existence and like she promised him, she never had taken it off. "I have just the thing..."

"But Sarah" Harry patted her knee. "If we leave without you and the ministry falls, then you will be questioned-maybe tortured. I can't ask you to do that for me"

Her heart quickened in fear at the thought of her vulnerable at Voldemort's mercy- she doubted he would show her any. "Remus and I have been talking of that. We are hoping we can go under the fidelius charm before that happens...but if we do get caught, then we have been practicing my occlumency" She twisted her hands together in distress. "At the department of mysteries last year, I was able to block him access and Snape was quite persistent and often very aggressive in his lessons with me this past year"

"Really?" Hermione asked. "I would think after what happened with the memories, he would have backed away"

"No" Sarah turned to her. "He just warned me that he was going to be rougher and comforted me after. It made me stronger. I think...that is, I hope I would be able to withstand the invasion without giving our plan away"

"And what if you can't?" Ron's eyes were wide. "It's asking for you-know-who to find us"

"I've been doing research on that. It will be charmed to explode on him if he dares try" Hermione offered, "And not only that, it will send a warning to us if it is being tampered with us by anyone but Sarah. Those are old protective charms, but quite effective"

"But for you to be tortured for that information" Harry looked down. "I wouldn't want that for you"

"Don't you get it?" Sarah snuggled up closer to him and looped her arm through his. "I will be tortured regardless...and if I am questioned, I won't be stupid about it. I won't be openly defiant towards him"

"You not openly defiant?" Ron eyed her incredulously. "Towards you-know-who?"

"Well, I don't want him to kill me. I know I have to survive to help you guys" Sarah told him, frankly. "If that means being a little Slytherin in the process, then that is what I will do. Don't worry about me. Plus, Snape has supposedly earned some favor and he knows of his vow with my mother...I would think that would buy me some lenience and I doubt Voldemort would have time for the likes of me anyway" She tried to be confident, but she doubted this would actually occur.

She twisted her ring absently, but the motion drew the others attention to it.

"So, you are going to be my sister?" Ron asked, with a lopsided grin.

"That's what it looks like" Sarah grinned back. "You're stuck with me as your sister for the next 70 years"

"Merlin help me" Ron groaned. "Between you and Gin, I will never get any peace"

Sarah kicked him with her foot playfully and Harry cleared his throat. "But isn't it quick?" he asked a bit hesitantly. "Don't you think it would be better to wait until after the war to even decide? Don't get me wrong, I like Fred-he is a real good chap, but if you are married to him, you are stuck with that decision and you've been through alot lately"

She began to give him a scathing look, but Hermione intervened, "I love Fred too Sarah, really, he is great-but you had just found out about Snape..." She touched her arm gently. "we are your friends and love you, we just want to make sure it is what you want"

Sarah looked at Ron. "And your opinion?" she asked him stiffly but Ron held up his hands innocently, "Don't start with me...bloody hell, Sarah, stop giving me that look. It's downright scary"

She rolled her eyes at him. "Tell me what you think, Ronald"

"Fine" Ron crossed his arms against his chest. "My brother is great, but he isn't perfect, you know and if he pressured you into this, I would be the first one to hex him over it"

Sarah was quiet for a moment, surveying her friends. "I understand your concern and yes, perhaps it is impulsive and maybe I felt vulnerable because Snape abandoned me and I know Fred never would but still, he has been my friend since my first year. There is no one that I could see myself married to more"

"Even Draco Malfoy?" Harry asked her.

Sarah felt like she had been punched. Why would Harry of all people ask her that? She felt like he was accusing her of consorting with a Death Eater or something...

"Why would you say that?" Sarah turned to confront him, "when you helped me realize I love Fred?"

"Loving someone is one thing" Harry argued back. "Marrying is another...and I saw your face in the lavatory, Sarah. You, who are normally so calm in a crisis, you went mental. You couldn't think straight. Your feelings for Malfoy are still there. I just want them resolved before you jump into marrying someone."

Sarah stood up, her eyes feisty. "So you push me towards Fred?"

Harry patted down his hair. "It wasn't like that. I do think you love Fred. I just don't want you to get into something permanent that will effect you for the rest of your life unless you are completely sure."

"And if I tell you that I am will you support me in it?" Sarah asked them all.

"Of course we will, Sarah" Hermione said, softly.

"Then it is what I want" Sarah stepped around them to get to the door. "Plus, it isn't happening until after the war, which unless we figure this all out, might be forever"

She put her hand on the doorknob and twisted it.

"We are just trying to help" Ron told her and Sarah turned back towards them. "I know. Thank you for finding me. And Hermione, great idea about the portkey. We can talk more about it tonight when the others go to bed"

"You aren't going back to the Lupins tonight?" she asked, surprised.

"Mrs. Weasley thought it would be good for me to stay over-something about being around my and Remus will be back for the wedding tomorrow and I will go home with them" she pushed open the heavy wood door. "Thanks again guys for finding me" She walked into the sitting room where Fred talking to George who was resting on the couch, his face white but seemed much more comfortable. She heard the others voices in the kitchen, discussing the events of the night.

"There you are" George smiled, weakly. "My brother here isn't appreciating my jokes tonight"

Sarah forced a smile as she sat down in the arm chair, flinging her legs over the side. "Oh, really?"

"I was telling him the advantages of having one ear" he said and Sarah raised an eyebrow and exchanged a look with Fred.

"And what is that?"

"It makes me more holey" George laughed and Sarah groaned. "Oh, George!"

"I see you aren't in the mood tonight either" George responded with a dramatic sigh. "I'm the one who lost the ear and if I can see the humor in it, then certainly my partners in mischief can too"

"I'm sorry that Snape did that to you" Sarah rubbed circles on her pant leg.

"Don't worry about it, Sarah" George told her, earnestly. "_You _saved my life"

"No, I just..." but Fred cut her off. "You were brilliant, Sarah. You did" He walked over to push her legs so she was facing the correct direction in the chair and he sat on the arm. "My girl saved my brothers life. It was amazing" He leaned over to kiss her soundly and George grimaced. "I may have only one ear, but I still see fine. Get a room! My innocent eyes can't take this!" he quipped.

Sarah pulled away from Fred. "You really do seem like you are feeling better" she laughed.

* * *

The morning of the wedding the Weasleys decided to celebrate Harry's seventeenth birthday. They were just cutting into the snitch cake, when they were interrupted by a surprise visit from the Minister of Magic, Rufus Scrimgeour. They could tell right away that he was being sneaky and trying to pry for information. It instantly made her put up her shields and the others to be more evasive than usual.

"What I don't understand is why Professor Dumbledore would leave things to the four of you?" Scrimgeour told them, his eyes narrowed.

"We were all close to Professor Dumbledore in different ways" Sarah told him. "It makes sense. Really, it seems like you suspect some nefarious motive"

"Well, it would be helpful if you know about thing about what Dumbledore's plans for you-know-who's defeat, for you to tell us"

Harry shrugged. "We know of no such plans"

"Minister, the Headmaster has been dead for several weeks. Why is his will only being read now?" she asked and Sarah smiled inwardly at her friend's attempt to get the upper-hand in the conversation.

"We had to check for dark magic in the artifacts" Scrimgeour explained, somewhat put off by the question.

"Oh really?" Sarah responded innocently. "I wasn't aware that the Headmaster was known for his love of the Dark Arts"

"We are well within the laws right to do so, Miss Black" he responded.

"With substantial proof" Hermione retorted, fiercely "were you afraid that the objects Dumbledore wanted to pass on to _his students_ were cursed? Absolutely preposterous"

"I see that the ministry sees themselves as above the law now" Sarah added. "Why have laws only to circumvent them when it suits you?"

Harry and Ron exchanged an amused look, content to sit and watch. They were all too aware that when Sarah and Hermione teamed up, it was bloody uncomfortable.

Soon, the minister was clearing his throat and asking to get on with it and read the will.

But still he questioned Harry when he received the snitch, Hermione with the _Tales of Beetle and Bard_ and Ron with the deluminator. Sarah was proud of how each of her friends thwarted the minister with wit and sarcasm and awaited her turn.

"To Sarah Grace Black, I leave my pensieve, with the hopes that she would find it useful to organize her thoughts and memories and to remind her that often the past is made clearer when one examines aspects of it more thoroughly and through an objective lens"

The minister eyed her sternly. "And what is that supposed to mean?"

Sarah shrugged. "I have no earthly idea. Maybe it means what he says it means. He wants me to organize my thoughts better. That is really quite kind of him..should be helpful in my studies next year."

"Yes, well..." The minister sat down a shrunken pensieve in front of her. "We had to shrink it. Hopefully you will find that more manageable to transport"

"How thoughtful" Sarah smiled as she picked up the pensieve and put it in her jacket pocket.

"And lastly, Professor Dumbledore left the sword of Godric Gryffindor to Mr. Potter, but as it was not his to give, the ministry has decided to strike that part of his will"

"But it is Harry's" Hermione argued. "He pulled it out of the sorting hat in the Chamber of Secrets our second year"

"He did" Sarah agreed. "I saw it myself. Want to see the memory in my pensieve?" She reached into her pocket, but the Minister held up his hand.

"That is unnecessary" the Minister retorted. "The sword belongs to Hogwarts and may present itself to any noble Gryffindor. It wasn't Dumbledore's to give and besides, it is missing"

"Missing?" Sarah grew serious. "What do you mean missing?"

"Just what I said, Miss Black" Scrimgeour stood. "The sword of Gryffindor is missing. I must go. I trust if the four of you learn of new developments, that you will report them straight away to the ministry"

"Absolutely" Ron replied, trying to look earnest, but failing to be convincing. "We will do that- first thing"

The minister left in a hurry and the four of them sat back down.

"So what does all of this mean?" Harry asked.

"I think they must be clues" Hermione responded. "We just have to make sense of it all"

"Considering that it is Dumbledore, that might be alot harder than it would seem" Sarah frowned and the rest agreed, feeling quite overwhelmed by Dumbledore's bequests.

* * *

"Good morning, Narcissa, Draco" He gestured for them to sit. "This is quite the surprise. I just called for some tea. Would you like to join me?"

"That would be lovely, Sev. Thank you" Narcissa sat on the couch of the study and Draco took a seat next to her. Sev called Wiggles to bring extra cups and soon Narcissa was pouring tea for all three of them.

"Surprise hopefully doesn't mean an unwelcome one, Sev?" Narcissa sipped her tea and Severus shook his head. "Of course not, Narcissa. You know that. But the timing is a bit suspicious. You aren't checking up on me, our you?"

Draco snorted and the adults turned to give him a severe look. "Sorry, but you know that is precisely why mum came and dragged me with her"

"I hope a visit to your godfather would not constitute dragging, Dragon" Snape raised an eyebrow and Draco, warmed by his godfather's name for him, quickly muttered, "of course not, I love visits with you, Uncle Sev"

"So" Snape sat his cup down beside him. "You want to know how I am dealing with the fact that I am responsible for George Weasley losing his ear?"

"Yes, I wondered that" Narcissa rested her hands in her lap as she smoothed down the skirt she was wearing. "What happened?"

"I was aiming for Yaxley. He had his wand pointed right at Lupin's back. Unfortunately, he moved suddenly and the curse hit Weasley instead" Snape responded, troubled. "Molly will never forgive me for maiming her son"

"She will when she learns the truth, Sev" Narcissa comforted him. "One day all of this will be over and you will be quite the hero to all"

"There is only one person I want to be a hero to, but I fear I have lost that right forever" Sev picked back up his teacup, but then banished it to the kitchen in an act of wandless magic.

"Uncle Sev" Draco tried to change the subject. "Is it true that the ministry is about to fall? Maybe even today?"

"Quite true, Draco" Snape replied. "The Dark Lord has asked me to be Headmaster of Hogwarts when the ministry does fall- and the Carrows as my deputies. He is making education mandatory for all wizards under 17"

"The Carrows?" Narcissa shuddered. "Those poor children. You will have to work to protect them"

"What does that mean for Sarah?" Draco asked.

Snape raised an eyebrow. "I would think after learning of my niece's engagement that you would cease caring so, Draco"

"I am not convinced a marriage to Weasley is truly what Black wants, Uncle Sev" Draco argued. "She is vulnerable- maybe if she comes to Hogwarts she will have time to sort through things..."

Narcissa and Sev exchanged a worried look. "Draco, darling" Narcissa told him gently, "you know Sarah won't come to Hogwarts this year. It is too dangerous for her. We have gone over this with you"

"But she is under age" Draco retorted. "What happens if she can't go in hiding and is captured?"

Snape frowned for clearly he had thought of that too. "I have discussed with the Dark Lord my vow to protect Sarah for my sister's sake. I have earned his trust. He will not allow Bellatrix or the others question her. But she will be questioned for her knowledge of Potter's activities. Hopefully, it won't come to that"

"He will still torture her for the information" Draco responded, fiercely. "You can't let that happen. Is there something we can do?"

"All of this is assuming that she is captured" Narcissa pointed out. "Hopefully, she will be under the fidelius before the ministry falls and all of this worrying will be for naught"

"I agree, Cissy" Severus shuddered at the thought of his Sarah, at the mercy of the Dark Lord. "But I am confident in her occlumency abilities. She can block him if she keeps her wits about her and when she is released, she can go into hiding as planned"

"I just can't bear the thought of him using the cruciatius on her or worse" Draco turned his head away from them. "Even if she is engaged to Weasley"

"Me either, Draco" Snape responded, the shiver going straight to his spine. "Me either"

* * *

That afternoon Hermione had performed the necessary charms on Sarah's necklace to make it a portkey. They then cast a featherlight charm and concealed it from both touch and sight. It had become once again invisible. They spent the rest of the afternoon chatting and getting ready to attend Bill and Fleur's wedding.

Sarah walked down the stairs in search of Fred. Her heals clicked against the wooden floors and she knew by the end of the night she would have blisters.

"Wow, Sarah Black" Fred smiled widely as his eyes moved up and down her, taking in the slight of her. "You look amazing"

Sarah's dress was v-necked showing a bit more cleavage than she would have dared tried wearing under her uncle's watch, but not scandalously so. The navy dress with white polka dots hit right at her knees, flowing out. She had curled her hair and it hung just below her shoulders. Her confidence grew significantly with Fred's compliment.

She put her hand on his chest and kissed him. "You make feel like I do. Hermione and Ginny are the pretty ones, though"

"You are beautiful, Sarah" Fred kissed her forehead. "Where is all this self doubt coming from?"

"Oh, I don't know" Sarah shrugged him off as she tugged at his hand and lead them outside to find their seats. "I suppose it is always there and it just pops back up now and then"

They sat in the two furthest seats in the front row, as the area was filling up with wedding guests. "Well" Fred whispered in her ear, "Let me reassure you, my dear, you look ravishing...so much that I wish I could take you away and..." Fred's finish to that sentence made Sarah blush and feel delightfully overheated and a little less innocent.

The wedding was lovely in its own way- Mrs. Weasley crying loudly and Ginny trying to fight her want to roll her eyes. The reception was fun as Harry, disguised as a cousin, tried to dodge the crowd and mischievously keep the boys away from Gin. Sarah managed to coerce him into a dance with her, but then remained firmly encircled in Fred's arms- feeling quite safe and content.

But like that, it changed in an instant with Kingsley Shacklebolt's ominous patronus. "The ministry has fallen. The minister is dead...they are coming...they are coming"

Pandemonium ensued and instincts taking over, Sarah broke away from Fred's grasp as she tried to reach Harry, forgetting momentarily that she couldn't follow. As she saw them huddled together, it hit her. She couldn't go along. With one last longing look at Harry, he nodded at her and mouthed to her, "Be safe. I love you" before Hermione, Ron, and him apparated away. It was a feeling that she wasn't accustomed too- letting her best friends go. She struggled to turn around in the crowd as people collided in to her, the feeling suffocating. Finally, she heard the pops of the Death Eaters and saw Fred run for her. He grabbed her waist and went to apparate with her, but they found that they couldn't. The Death Eaters must have put up anti-apparition charms.

Lupin and Tonks rushed to her other side and even though Sarah was used to facing danger, she couldn't help but feel doomed as she turned to bury her head in Fred's chest as he patted her back, squeezing her tightly in his arms. "It's Ok. We'll get through it. Be strong. Don't give them the satisfaction of seeing you scared"

His words calmed her and she managed to steal herself enough to turn around and face the Death Eaters that had encircled them. Bellatrix stepped forward. "The Dark Lord has commanded that we take you in for questioning for knowledge of Harry Potter's whereabouts. Come willingly and he will be lenient" She turned back to the others. "I'll transport the girl" She jerked her head in her direction.

Sarah's heart skipped as her knees shook. No, she wouldn't give Bellatrix the satisfaction of knowing she was scared and she must calm herself. _Clear your mind_. Snape's voice popped up in her mind. At first it was soft, but then the command grew louder._Clear Your Mind, Sarah Grace._

Was it a memory? Or was somehow Snape sending her a message? She would never know, but in that moment all of Snape's occlumency lessons came flooding back to her. She knew exactly what to do and how to remain calm. As much as Snape had failed her in so many ways, this was not one of them.

"That will not be necessary, Bella"

A swirl of emotions she couldn't quite identify came and Sarah had to fight them down. _Snape was here_.

"Move aside, Bella" he growled as he stepped in between Bellatrix and his niece. "I have already discussed this with the Dark Lord. He prefers me to do so as the girl's guardian. You are under orders to not go near her. Black, come here"

Sarah felt Fred's grip tighten on her arm, significantly and she knew he would be ready to fight for her...even if it was a suicide mission. She whispered to him. "It is alright. Don't worry. I'll meet you at your flat when it is over...I'm assuming they will keep me longer than you. But _I will find you_. I love you"

"Are you going to allow them to conspire their next move?" Bellatrix turned and sneered at Snape.

"Cousin Bellatrix" The strength of her voice surprised even her as she stepped away from Fred, her dress swishing as she moved. "I don't conspire. If You-Know-Who wants to me question, that's fine. I have no knowledge to help him"

"Well, we will see about that" Bellatrix side-swiped Snape went to straighten the strap on her dress that had fallen off her shoulder. Sarah struggled to maintain her shields and not to flinch under Bellatrix's touch. "You must be presentable my dear...and a few hours under the cruciatus and we will see how much you do know"

Sarah felt the bile rise to tip of her throat and Snape met her eyes. She saw a flicker of something rather comforting there before they went back to being dark and emotionless.

"Come along, Black" Snape stepped forward and forcibly dragged her away from Bellatrix. With not a glance back and maintaining a firm grasp on her arm, he apparated with her to the steps of Malfoy Manor.

His grip grew tighter around her arm, painfully so as he spoke softly to her. "Do not be rude. Do not be defiant. Put your shields up and keep them up. He wants to show the world that he is capable of ruling and he knows he won't win more people to his side by killing the daughter of the Noble House of Black and the last of the Princes all before she reaches age"

"I wasn't aware that I was so important" Sarah muttered to him.

"It's your position that makes you important- you are an heiress to two ancient wizarding families. You are the epitome of a pure-blooded wizard, besides the Snape in you, but the Dark Lord just ignores that, much like he ignores that aspect of his family. I can't promise you that he won't torture, but if you are cooperative then he won't be overly aggressive"

Sarah could only hope Snape's words were right. "But I don't know anything" she hissed at him.

"Then show him that" Snape hissed back at her. "And don't be a bloody Gryffindor about it"

"I'm not a fool" Sarah retorted. "I want to survive this". And she did, if only to help Harry defeat the lot of them when she could join him in September.

"Are your shields up?" Snape squeezed her arm.

At her nod, he lead them into Malfoy Manner. Sarah couldn't help but feeling that this would be her greatest challenge yet...How could she survive what came next when all she wanted to do is spit in all of their faces?

**A/N**: Evil cliffe- I'm soooo sorry, this chapter had gotten so long! And I want to devote some time to Sarah's experience in the next chapter. So, at first I was going to have Sarah go into hiding before this happened, but one of my reviewers (Cheerfully Blue) asked if Sarah would be questioned because she was left behind. After digging into cannon, it does seem like those at the wedding were questioned and some more forcibly than others (Andromeda was tortured), but they all survived to tell about it... so I decided to keep in that spirit. I haven't wrote the next chapter yet, but I will try to get an update to you all quickly since I did leave you with quite the cliffhanger...and I do feel bad about it. In the meantime, let me know what you think...what will Sarah do? **Up next**: Sarah has a conversation with the Dark Lord and when it is all over, who gets to comfort her? Any guesses?


	18. Captured

**A/N/Warning: **This chapter takes a darker turn...it isn't too graphic, but Voldemort does not just have a pleasant chat with her...just a warning...if you all think I need to up the rating (from a T), let me know...but again, nothing is really explicitly done, so I think a T is probably still ok. Let me know what you think. I think it wasn't a bad turnover, huh- to make up for the evil cliffe? And I think it might be my longest chapter yet...

Disclaimer: still don't own...

**Chapter 18: Captured**

Sarah had to fight to remain calm and not allow the panic to rise up inside her and overtake her. She managed to keep her shields up as they entered the foyer to Malfoy Manner. She actually found Severus's hand around her arm soothing. He had loosened his grip considerably, but made no attempts to let go of her completely.

They were greeted by Narcissa, who frowned at the sight of Sarah. "Oh, dear" she whispered as she put a hand to her chest. As if realizing the danger in exhibiting such sympathy to a blood traitor, she collected her emotions.

"Sev, darling, The Dark Lord is in the library and requests that if Sarah is with you that you bring her to him immediately for questioning" Narcissa looked around for people nearby, but she knew that nobody was here but Draco, Lucius and the Dark Lord and they were in the other side of the house.

Narcissa stepped forward and put her hand on her shoulder. "Are you shields up?"

Sarah nodded, unable to trust her voice at that moment. She was so nervous that she didn't even process the fact that Narcissa was offering her council and Narcissa's heart was pounding so fast that she forgot her position in her hopes to protect the child from the evil that lurked in her home.

"Very good" Narcissa praised. "Remember Sarah, keep your shields up no matter what. Find a focal point and focus on that. While your association with Potter makes you quite vulnerable, it is not entirely hopeless. You are a Black and a Prince. Use it to your advantage"

Her eyes met Sev's- there was a flicker of warning there. Narcissa was dangerously close to giving away their position, but he also knew that Sarah was overwrought right now and probably wouldn't remember it until much later. He himself had been giving her loads of advice before entering, however, he could always explain that away as honoring his unbreakable vow to protect her from harm- especially harm in the form of the Dark Lord.

Sarah nodded again and finally spoke, "Draco won't be there, will he?"

"Merlin, I hope not" Narcissa muttered, "but I wouldn't put anything past that man" She led them for what seemed forever, finally stopping at a doorway. Sarah's feet ached so badly that she panicked as soon as Narcissa raised her hand to knock on the door.

She grabbed her arm and Cissy turned around and looked at her in shock, surprised by her sudden movement.

"Can you spell my shoes into flats?" she pleaded. "I won't be able to keep standing for long and I'm afraid that I will slip and fall when he -you know..." her voice trailed off and Narcissa's eyes grew wide.

"Oh for Merlin's sake, Black- of all the times to worry about your feet" Severus flicked his wand and her shoes became comfortable flats.

"You try wearing heels all night and then having to walk through this house" Sarah hissed back. "And I have to focus on something"

"Shh" Narcissa hushed them. With a glance back to make sure they were ready, Narcissa knocked on the door and at at Voldemort's command, pushed it open stepping aside for them to enter.

Snape let go of her arm to step into the library and Sarah tried to get her legs moving, but she only managed a small, tentative step forward.

"Come on in, Sarah" She could feel his eyes upon her and though his voice was calm, she knew it was dangerous to disobey. "So tentative...Severus, is this the same child that thwarted me twice in the past?"

Sev turned to look at Sarah's face. It was deathly pale. He had to fight to maintain _his_ shields, for one look at her and he knew how frightened she truly was. She was smart- she knew exactly what was coming. While his heart lurched for her, he knew she had to obey. He could save her from death, but he couldn't save her from this. His eyes met hers and the message passed between them. _Move it_. _Don't make him wait_.

"Perhaps she has learned the errors of her ways and that it is best to be contrite at times like these, my Lord" Severus suggested as Sarah finally forced herself to move a few steps into the room.

"We can only hope that is the case" Voldemort's eyes studied her to try to ascertain her emotions, but Sarah had schooled her features once more.

"Narcissa, bring Draco to me" he commanded and Narcissa left quickly.

Voldemort moved his wand absently and Sarah's attention was drawn to that. She knew what power that could wield. She quickly looked away and focused on the books in the rather large library. Wall to wall of books surrounded the room, reaching high to the ceiling. In the middle of the room was a large oriental rug and leather furniture- a couch, a loveseat, two armchairs. She probably would have like this room if wouldn't be forever ruined by what happened next. She moved her attention back to Snape and Voldemort, who were discussing her- a habit that adults have that she had always hated.

"Did she come willingly, Severus?" Voldemort asked, his arms crossed.

"Very much so" Snape replied, smoothly. "She has hardly spoken, with the exception of asking Narcissa to spell her shoes from heels to flats"

Sarah's eyes grew wide. She never expected Snape to tell him _that_. That made her look like quite the fool.

"So that explains the moments delay in the knock" Voldemort shook his head. "I must admit it had me a bit concerned" Now Sarah knew why Snape had told him about that and she was thankful for his foresight. She wouldn't want him to get any ideas.

"Teenage girls, my Lord. I have had to deal with it for the past 6 years" Snape wrinkled up his nose in disgust. "But as you see, I complied. I thought the request was fairly harmless. I hope that was ok"

"Of course. I have no want to make her any more uncomfortable that she has to be. The world needs to understand, Severus, that unless challenged, I can be quite the fair and merciful ruler"

"Absolutely, my Lord" Severus nodded, solemnly and Sarah had to fight the urge to laugh with everything in her. She was able to maintain her blank expression, which she was thankful for- otherwise, she was sure that Voldemort would have probably killed her right then and there. The person who ordered Cedric's death and Dumbledore's assassination, not to mention the one who tortured his followers as punishment- fair and merciful?

"She will find that I wish to be quite reasonable with her. Has she said anything else?" Voldemort beckoned to her. "Come further in, Sarah. Really, there is no need to be so hesitant" Sarah took a few more steps closer, but still considerably further away than Snape was standing, consulting with the Dark Lord.

"She claims she has no knowledge of Potter's whereabouts" Snape told him.

"Does she now?" Voldemort turned back to her. "That's an interesting claim"

Another knock on the door and Draco came in. "You called for me, my Lord?"

"Yes, you will sit there" Voldemort pointed to the leather sofa in the rather expansive library. "And watch as I question her"

"My Lord?" Draco's voice was hoarse. At the sound of his anxiety, Sarah turned around to face him. Her eyes met Draco's and for a moment, everyone in the room could feel the intensity between the two. Draco looked so horrified at the prospect, but Sarah also knew that it would be foolish for him to try to defy him. Her back was turned away from Voldemort, so she mouthed a quick, "It's ok" At her encouragement, Draco managed to cross the room and sit on the sofa, fighting to clear his emotions that he allowed to run so clearly across his features.

"I see things are not quite as finished as we had thought they were, are they Draco?" Voldemort swiped his hands together, "if Sarah cooperates and you do not interfere, when it is over, I will allow you to care for her until she has fully recovered...quite generous, I must say, right Severus?"

"Exceedingly so, my Lord" Severus replied. "But my Lord, the vow with my sister still stands"

"Indeed it does, so you must leave us alone" Voldemort instructed. "I give you my word that I will not harm her more than she can take and will only do so until I get the information I desire. I think that would be enough to satisfy your vow, don't you agree?"

"Quite so, my Lord" Severus backed up and Voldemort dismissed him. Sarah felt quite desolate as Severus left the room. While he was still there, she could draw some strength from that, now that he was gone, she didn't know how she would quite handle this. She reminded her to put her shields up.

"Now child, come and stand before me. Don't be so shy. We have met before" Voldemort instructed her and Sarah knew that she must follow directions. She did so and as she moved she was reminded of the drawstring purse around her arm. _Her wand._ His eyes moved there too as if he could read her thoughts and Sarah strengthened her resolve.

"You look quite nice tonight" He eyed her dress. "I'm sorry to take you away from such a happy occasion" Voldemort reached forward and removed the purse from her arm, tossing it on the chair behind him. "But we have some business we need to take care of. And I trust no one but myself to do this"

Sarah absently grabbed the folds of her dress, smoothing it down. "I came willingly. I have nothing to hide from you" Sarah willed her voice to be strong and it was.

"You found your voice, very good" Voldemort praised. "But you see, I find it hard to believe that the best friend of Harry Potter would fail to know his whereabouts"

"But I don't" Sarah insisted, her hands hanging limp by her side.

"I see" Voldemort stepped closer, his breath on her face. "I don't wish to hurt you. I want the world to see that while I am strict with those who disappoint me, I am capable of being a merciful ruler. I want to show you mercy, Sarah, but will you take it?"

* * *

Severus left to find Narcissa in her sitting room. She stood and they both cast every concealment and silencing protective charms that they knew of. She rushed to him and gripped his arms.

"He won't kill her, Sev. He wouldn't" Narcissa told him firmly. "Oh, Sev"

Severus had collapsed against her. "The thought of what that monster is doing her right now...I can't bear it, Cissy. I can't bear it. I should go back in there. I should sacrifice my life for hers"

"And what would that accomplish, darling?" Narcissa whispered. "You would be dead and there would be nothing preventing the Dark Lord from killing her. We need you to do this. She is strong"

"She isn't though. I have wounded her so deeply. And he is just adding to it right now. I know he will torture her. I only hope that she doesn't make it worse with her mouth"

"She seemed quite contrite" Narcissa offered.

"She wasn't contrite- _she was terrified_" Severus responded. "I'm used to her Gryffindor recklessness, but she is different tonight. She wants to live to join Potter and because she is underage, she becomes the sacrificial lamb. You know she won't give up Potter...I just hope I was an effective teacher to her"

"You were" Narcissa rubbed his back. "And you can bear it. We will bear it together"

Snape pulled himself together enough to pace around the room, wearing Narcissa's carpet thin. "You practically gave away our position, Cissy"

"I know, Sev. I'm sorry" Narcissa apologized. "I doubt she will remember that after it is all over. I just- I couldn't have her go in there without some advice. She looked so out of sorts and it made me afraid. We know she knows information about Potter"

"Don't worry about it. I'm afraid I was a bit overzealous in my advice too" Snape told her. "I panicked outside the house. Reminded her, like you, about putting up her shields. That was probably out of line with our position, but I have a hard time thinking straight when my little girl is moments away from torture"

"Oh Sev" Narcissa rose and walked over to him. "Can't you tell her the truth? She will need that more than ever"

"Not yet" Sev replied as he sunk to the chair and buried his head in his hands. "But I am afraid I won't be able to keep this up for much longer"

* * *

Sarah cleared her throat. "I don't wish to make you angry, I'm not that foolish, but I don't know anything" she insisted, his voice calm but firm. "I really don't. I can't give you an answer that you want to hear even if that means you will punish me"

His look was hard. "I see. Well, then, we have some work to do to, don't we?" He backed up. "Prepare yourself, child" Sarah closed her eyes tightly and pictured her parents faces. She could feel their arms around her, supporting her through this.

_Crucio_

She knew it was coming. She knew it was coming from the moment the Death Eaters arrived at the party. She knew how it felt. She had endured it her first year, but Quirrell wasn't as powerful a wizard as Voldemort and the pain filled her from head to toe. She struggled to remain on her feet, but she soon had collapsed onto the floor under its weight- the unbearable weight. She managed to keep her shields up and as she tried to breathe through the pain, she found her focal point: Draco's white face. She fixed her eyes on it- he was incredibly troubled, but there was something else in his face- a love that had never gone away. Dumbledore said love is the greatest strength we had and she held on to it for all it was worth. Shield up. Deep Breaths. Draco's face. It lasted for what seemed like ages, before Voldemort stopped.

She continued to pant, trying to even her breathing. Her stomach was revolting, but she would not, she could not sick up right now.

"I'll give you a minute and then I want you to try to stand again" his voice exuded patience and Sarah was beginning to understand how completely twisted he was.

Sarah laid her head down, trying to gather her strength but every muscle was staging a revolution. Finally she managed to push herself to where she was crouched on the floor, her forehead still touching the ground, but on her hands and knees. She finally pushed her hands against the floor and managed to slowly rise. Her face showed no emotion and Voldemort didn't hide his surprise or his pleasure at her composure.

"Very good, Sarah" He turned to Draco. "Did you notice how she didn't scream?"

"I can't say I did, my Lord" Draco replied, his voice shaky. "her moans were enough for me"

"Well, we shall have to see if we can build you a stronger constitution" Voldemort responded, "I blame your father- sheltered you dreadfully"

He turned his attention back to Sarah. "Now dear, are you ready to tell me what you know?"

Sarah closed her eyes. "I don't mean to make you angry, _sir"_ she added that for good measure in a moment of Slytheriness- Snape always loved to be called that and it gave her a rare Voldemort smile, "but I don't know anything"

"Sarah, Sarah, Sarah" Voldemort shook his head, sorrowfully, "why must you always be so stubborn?"

"Black family genes?" Sarah offered and Voldemort replied, "Why do you insist on protecting him when you belong clearly to us? You are a pureblood- one with money and position, but you have never flaunted it. Why not, Sarah?"

"I suppose I never truly understood why I should. What is in a name?" Sarah asked, challenging, but not disrespectfully.

Voldemort studied her carefully. "You really are innocent to it all. Everything is in a name- one can exude worthlessness, another power"

"And fear?" Sarah asked, biting her lip.

"Do you fear me?" He asked, curiously and a bit delighted with the prospect. "You never had seemed to before"

"I fear what you are doing to me" Sarah responded, truthfully. "I am not some child who rushes into things anymore. But none of that matters because even if I wanted to tell you about Harry, I don't know anything"

"You keep saying that, but you are his best friend" Voldemort insisted, "you must know something and I will get it out of you. Ready for some more?"

"Do I have a choice?" Sarah muttered and Voldemort pounced on the opportunity.

Touching her face gently, he replied, "But of course you do, child. Really, have you not been listening at all?" He sighed, insufferably. "Tell me and I will let you walk out of here now. Don't tell me and I will give you two more rounds of the cruciatus and then invade your mind and find it out myself. What will your choice be? I really don't wish to harm you" Sarah knew that he was trying to manipulate her, but she wasn't buying it.

"I don't know anything" She insisted and prepared herself. Voldemort backed away and cast the cruciatus again and Sarah couldn't believe it, but it was even stronger than the last time. She found Draco's face again, but couldn't help but scream out and vomit all over the carpet. She knew Narcissa would be thrilled with that one...

Voldemort stopped again, his nose turned up at the mess. "Really, Sarah..."

Panting, Sarah replied. "I told Fred I shouldn't have had that extra piece of cake. I _knew_ it was a bad idea"

He shook his head, amused with her. "Here, I will show you how generous I can be with you" He flicked his wand and cleaned up the mess and then bent down to grasp her arm and pull her up. The movement caused the room to spin and Voldemort kept his hands on her arms, steadying her. "No, don't pass out. I'm not done, but we shall take a bit of a break"

At that news, the room stopped spinning, but she was still fighting to catch her breath. "Now, you make an interesting point that I have wanted to speak to you about"

"Which is?" Sarah asked, trying to quell down the nausea, but Voldemort's fingers around her arms and his close proximity, made her want to sick up again.

"Your choice of a future mate" Voldemort squeezed her arm forcibly. "I don't like it"

"I wasn't aware that I had to get anyone's permission" Sarah responded, panting. She managed to take a deep breath and it helped to even out her breathing. She added, "Plus, you should adore my choice. He is a pureblood through and through"

"He's a blood traitor" Voldemort hissed at her.

"I don't know if you remember this" Sarah responded, her eyes fierce. "But I am too"

"Watch yourself, Sarah" Voldemort glared at her, "or I can show you how truly evil I can be. The cruciatus, by itself, is nothing compared to what I can really do to you to make you suffer. I have years of creative practice, developing the best method of compliance"

Sarah put her shields back up and tried to back away from this direction. "Why would you care? I'm really having a hard time understanding, why the interest in me? I am nobody"

"That is where you are wrong" he responded, "You are a very powerful witch- full of potential. I know I need alliances to spread my message, and who better than you? Your heritage does you credit. If only you will give up your foolish alliance with Potter"

"I don't know anything" Sarah insisted once again.

"We shall see" Voldemort told her, ominously and backed away. Sarah steeled herself. She closed her eyes and pictured her parents once again. She wasn't able to stand a moment on her feet before she fell to the ground again- Draco began to look blurry and she realized that not only was she screaming, tears were streaming down her face. shields, focal points and breathing became irrelevant as the pain overwhelmed her. One more round of the cruciatus left her unable to move.

"Enough, then" he sat down on the floor next to her and pulled her up to a sitting position. Her world was hazy, but his hands were around her waist, steadying her. "This will be painful- made even more by your weakened state. One last chance, Sarah, and we will forget about the whole thing" Voldemort waited but when Sarah refused to respond (instead choosing to focus on preparing herself), he invaded her mind with a force unmatched in its power and aggression.

He ripped through her memories with a furry, but she had cleared her mind and guarded the sacred ones with all her energy. She kept the shields around them with a strength that she didn't know where it was coming from. Instead, she fed him lots of memories. Happy ones. Mum reading her a story before tucking her into bed, Sirius giving her hugs, Fred and her kissing- Dumbledore's twinkling eyes as he counseled her, every Gryffindor Quidditch game she attended and much to Voldemort's fury, memories of prank after prank after prank with the Weasley twins. She let him get close to sadder times, but didn't allow him full access. Snape had trained her well and she used every lesson to her advantage. When he finally pulled out, she was thoroughly exhausted and collapsed back down on the floor in a heap.

"Draco" Voldemort turned to Draco, who was doing everything he could to employ occlumency and not give away his true feelings. "Get Severus, now"

"I told you I didn't know anything" Sarah whispered, her head on the ground, scarcely believing that it had worked. "Now do you believe me?"

"Just be quiet, now" Voldemort responded as he rose to his feet and Sarah used the time to rest. Her strength was completely depleted and she had to fight the sleep that she knew was coming soon.

Snape entered with Draco following behind him. "What is wrong, my Lord?" he asked, his voice smooth.

"She doesn't know anything about Potter's whereabouts, can you think of a reason why?" Voldemort asked, disturbed.

"I cannot, perhaps you should ask Sarah, especially since now that you found she was being cooperative to begin with" Severus suggested as his eyes moved to where she was lying on the floor. Draco had told him that it had been awful on their way down and Severus knew it to be so with one look at her, curled up on the floor. But he reminded himself two things: she was alive and the Dark Lord hadn't tortured her for hours...compared to most, Sarah got off very easily.

Voldemort waited and Sarah finally found the energy to reply, "Why would Harry tell me anything" she moaned as she tried to sit herself up, but fell back down, "when we knew that _this_ would happen? We knew all along that I wasn't going to be of age and we may be Gryffindors, but we aren't stupid"

"Makes sense to me, my Lord" Severus crossed his arms. "I think the girl is telling the truth"

Still, he frowned. "But regardless of what you don't know, you have been quite the naughty girl these past 6 years. You should have seen those memories. Disgraceful that a child of her heritage should do comport herself in those ways. Not to mention what has happened twice in the past with her openly defying me"

"I have always told you that she was quite the handful to control, my Lord" Severus replied dryly.

"Well, that should change now that the fool is dead" Voldemort reached down to yank her up and sit her down on one the leather loveseat.

Sarah managed not to cry out from his rough handling of her and she tried to get comfortable on the loveseat, but she soon realized that uncomfortable was inevitable after what she had been through. Instead she tried to focus on the conversation Snape and Voldemort were having- maybe that would give her clues for the future.

"I want you to listen to me, carefully, Sarah. We will have no more of this nonsense. I have made education mandatory now for all under age, so I expect to hear from your uncle that you are at Hogwarts when it opens, do you understand me? If you do not comply, I will find you and I will make all of this seem easy"

"Why do you care?" Sarah muttered.

"We have talked about this quite at length today and I don't like to repeat myself" Voldemort reprimanded her, leaning down to squeeze her face with his long fingers. "You are a pure-blood and you will marry another pure-blood, one that is preferably not a blood-traitor and keep the lines clean. And you have been woefully educated in the past and I want to change that with my new political agenda. Show the world how it should be. Don't try to fight it. Do you understand me? Hogwarts in September. I expect you there" He released her.

"Quite clearly" Sarah responded, her eyes meeting Severus's eyes. "And who will be the Headmaster now that you have killed Dumbledore?"

"It will be announced tomorrow that your uncle will now be Headmaster" Voldemort replied. "And I trust that he will employ some discipline with you students, especially the unruly ones like you"

"I am up for the challenge, my Lord" Severus replied and Sarah wished she had the energy to move, but maybe it was better. She didn't think she would be able to take more of Voldemort.

"And there will be classes- different ones" Voldemort continued. "Severus will personally report to me your grades in those classes- I want you top in your class- nothing less than an Outstanding especially in one particular subject, can you guess what that might be?"

Even though she had been through it with him today, she could help but huff at the ridiculousness of it all. She didn't have the dark mark and she certainly didn't answer to him even if he controlled the ministry and Hogwarts now.

"Muggle studies?" she asked, unable to contain her frustration.

He smacked her sore, stiff so leg hard with his wand that Sarah cried out quite pitifully- did Voldemort just spank her after giving her three rounds of the cruciatus? Merlin help her, there was no mistaking that. He was taking this all powerful, ruler thing a little too seriously.

"Don't start, when you were being such a good girl before" Voldemort replied. "Answer me- what class do you think?"

"I'm not really sure, but I can only imagine what you have planned for us"

"Fine, I'll tell you- the Dark Arts" Voldemort looked pleased. "Proper education for you children"

"What makes you think that I will be able to excel in the Dark Arts?" Sarah replied and even though ever bone in her body begged her to behave, she couldn't help her smart retort, which received another smack, right in the same spot, but she managed to stifle her cry.

"If you insist on acting like a child, I can show you what the punishment for such behavior might be" he warned her. "But I fear you can't take anymore tonight, so I will leave before you get yourself in more trouble as soon as you promise me that you will take your lessons seriously. I have seen your capability, so I will not be fooled. You will excel in it. If not, I think extra tutoring with me and some muggle children might be in order"

Sarah grew nauseated- she knew she couldn't answer- not matter how much she knew that agreeing would be the smart thing to do. Still she managed, "I always try my best in everything I do"

"That's better" Voldemort replied. "Draco, for your reward in not trying to intervene, you can take her now. I'm off now to the ministry and will be staying at the new Manor we have acquired. Severus, you will come with me"

"Absolutely, my Lord" He replied and Voldemort and he apparated away. Sarah finally allowed her mind to dull and the weariness to set in. Her muscles began to stiffen and ache terribly so...

"How many rounds?" she could barely hear Narcissa's voice behind her as Draco reached to gently pull her into his arms.

"Three"

"Oh, Merlin help us" Narcissa responded. "Gently ease her up. We will put her in your room, in case the Dark Lord returns since you were under orders to care for her"

Sarah winced as Draco lifted her from the loveseat. "It hurts Draco"

"I know, Black. I'm being as gentle as I can" Draco responded, finally allowing the tears to flow from his eyes. "I wanted so badly to step in, but I knew it would make it worse for you"

"Shh, oh, Draco, don't cry" Sarah responded and then moaned as he walked with her, slowly through the hallway and up the stairs. "You were just being a Slytherin about it."

"You were the Slytherin, my love" he told her. "You were brilliant. So brilliant. I'm sorry, I know it hurts" He slowed his step and his heart lurched with every step.

"I focused on you, Draco. It's how I got through it...if you hadn't had been there, I would have never been able to survive it" she admitted.

After what seemed like hours, they finally reached Draco's room and he laid her down on his bed. Narcissa entered behind them potions in hand.

"I'll get her cleaned up first and then you can help me. Her muscles are probably unbelievably stiff from the cruciatus. Damn him for taking Severus with him. He is probably a wreck now"

"Why would he be a wreck?" Sarah asked, but Narcissa shushed her. "Save your strength child"

Narcissa changed her, helped her to the loo, and came back to pull her into bed. She gave her five different potions, the combination which took alot of the ache away.

"Draco, dear, come help" Narcissa shifted her to her stomach and began to rub her legs. "Massage her back, gently, but apply pressure to the areas she responds to"

"I don't want to hurt her, mum" Draco replied, hesitating.

"Oh, Dragon, it may hurt her but in the long run it will help her alot more" Narcissa replied. "Go on"

"It's ok, Draco, really" Sarah turned her head to stare at him, barely holding on to consciousness. "I think I am about to pass out as it is"

And she did. When she woke up, she couldn't quite remember where she was or what had happened. She turned around to glance at the clock on the bedside table. Three in the morning. Then she remembered what had happened and she began to shake uncontrollably and began to cry.

Draco was slumbering in the chair next to her bed and he woke when he heard the noise. "Sarah?" he got up and knelt beside her on the bed. "Are you in pain?" he whispered, his hand on her forehead, rubbing it gently. "Should I call for mum?"

Truth be told, she did think the potions had worn off, but it was more than that. The pain was so deep inside of her- her encounter with Voldemort had wounded her more than she would ever want to admit.

"A little, I'm ok" She tried to stifle her cries, but Draco wasn't fooled. Mindful of her aches, he so gently reached for her and pulled her trembling body into his arms. He was amazed with how easily she curled into his body and how she clung to him, like he was her lifeline. And he marveled at how natural it all was- even after their year of separation.

"You could never fool me, Black" Draco told her. "Now, tell me what is going on. Does it hurt that badly?"

"I does hurt, but that's not it" Sarah cried. "I thought I would be able to handle what he did, but I can't. I told Harry that I was able to and not to worry, but now that it has happened, I think about it and I want to curl up and die. I'm so scared of him, Draco" She sobbed into his chest and Draco kissed her head, rocking her back and forth. "He expects things of me...and I just can't do it, but I'm afraid if I do try to thwart him and go into hiding with members of the Order that he will find us and kill them...I can't sacrifice their life, not with Tonks expecting a baby. I feel so helpless"

"You were so strong" Draco murmured. "I could have never done that- you blocked him and he has no idea"

"But I am not strong" Sarah replied. "I'm so tired of it all, so weary"

"I know" Draco replied. "But you can't despair like this. You must focus on the happy things in your life...like...like" his voice turned hoarse as he gutted out, "Weasley"

"But even that, Draco...I do love him. I love him so much. He is so good to me and I will marry him, but part of me..." her voice trailed off. "I can't shake you, Draco...Merlin, I try so hard, but you are in my heart...today, I realized it more than ever" she sobbed desperately. "it was your face that I held onto, not Fred's...what does that tell you?"

"I do love you, Black- I think now more than I ever did before" Draco pulled away from her to stare into her eyes, the moonlight filtering through the room allowing her to see her clearly. "But just because we do love each other, doesn't mean that you can't be happy with Weasley- if that is truly what you want. This is the life I can offer you- a house under the watch of the Dark Lord, parents who are out of favor with him. You don't deserve that- you need someone who is not tainted by all of this"

"I know you are right" Sarah tried to pull herself together, but her stomach revolted from the potions and all the events of the day. "Shit, Draco" she covered her mouth and Draco acted fast to pick her up and carry her to the adjoining lavatory, easing her onto the floor and holding her head over the toilet.

She continued to heave over it for the next ten minutes as Draco patted her back and held her hair. She was quite miserable and terribly embarrassed for proper Draco to see her this way.

"I'm so sorry, Draco" Sarah leaned her head down to rest them on her knees. "I know how you hate things so undignified"

"All that extra cake, huh?" he smirked at her to try to lighten the mood.

"Oh, Merlin, did I really tell Voldemort that?" and Draco was about to respond when they heard a noise in the doorway, sounding like a throat being cleared.

"What do we have here?" Snape asked, his voice neutral, but Sarah saw a flicker of concern in his eyes before he schooled his features. "I just came from interrogating the prisoners...you would be happy to know, Black, that most of them have been released"

"That's good" Sarah replied, but nausea overwhelmed her again and Draco shoved her back towards the toilet.

"Here, let me take over, Draco" Snape's voice was soft as he knelt beside the two of them and held Sarah steady. "Go tell the house elves that we need dry toast and a bit of tea. You need something in your stomach, Black"

Draco backed up and left them alone. When the heaving waned, she turned to Snape. "This must be quite the hardship for you"

"Just hush" Snape insisted. "I've held your head over the toilet a few times before, I dare say it might be an annoyance, but it is no hardship" He summoned a washcloth and washed her face for her.

Draco soon arrived back with the toast and Sarah turned her head away from it in disgust. "I will vomit if I have to eat that" she insisted.

"Then we will stay here on the floor by the toilet in case you do" Severus responded. "As I said before you need something in your stomach, but if you insist on sitting on this hard floor, your muscles which are already quite taxed from your experience from today, will be unbearable in the morning"

"You always think you win" Sarah muttered.

"That is because I usually do when it comes to the two of us" Severus stood and reached up to grasp her arm. "Take it slow, but it is better to use your muscles instead of letting me carry you"

Sarah grunted and couldn't help but answer, "Do you think I would let you carry me?"

"You let me hold your head over the toilet" Severus pointed out to which Sarah had no response to. He grasped her arm and gently pulled her up. Her legs wobbled dreadfully and he held her waist to steady her. "I'm going to fall" she told him desperately.

"I won't let you, Black. Take it one step at a time" She did, even though each step hurt her sore muscles pitifully. Snape helped her climb back in bed.

He handed her a plate with a piece of toast. "Small bites. You need more potions, but I'm afraid you won't be able to tolerate them on an empty stomach. Then we will work to massage those muscles to see if we can get you more comfortable enough to fall back asleep" he told her, his voice businesslike.

"Draco" he inclined his head towards the door, but before they stepped out, he added, "Black if I don't see bites taken out of that piece of toast by the time we get back, I will take you over my knee with a hairbrush and allow Draco to watch"

Sarah rolled her eyes at him, but at his scowl, she realized he wasn't being dramatic and then she remembered that Snape did kill Dumbledore and curse George's ear. Spanking her with a hairbrush wasn't completely out of the realm of possibility. She picked up the bread and took a bite and held it up to show Snape.

"Very good, continue" Snape responded and the two of them stepped out in the hallway.

"How was she when she woke up?" he asked and Draco frowned.

"Not good, Uncle Sev" he told him. "She was uncontrollably sobbing. She said she is scared of him and she wants to just die. She told me that she doesn't think that she can go into hiding with the Lupins now that Tonks is pregnant, knowing how threatening the Dark Lord can be, but she knows that she can't do what he wants her to" he paused before adding, "it would help her if she knew the truth about where you and her stand. You know I am right. She needs to feel safe again and you are the only one that can make her feel that. You owe her that"

"I know that the truth will cause more of what happened and I refuse to take that risk with her" Severus hissed. "She is damn lucky that she was able to withstand what she did"

"Regardless, she needs you" Draco argued. "She is losing her way. Please help her"

"I will" Severus told him. "Just in the way that keeps her safe...all of us safe. If she needs cuddles, I am assuming that you will help with that"

"She said she still loves me" Draco looked troubled.

"Do not manipulate her when she is vulnerable" Snape growled at him, his tone harsh. "She is engaged to Weasley- that is the safest course for her"

"I know, I know" Draco stiffened at the lecture. "I told her so myself"

"Very good then" Snape replied. "Now why don't you head to one of the guest rooms and get some sleep? I'll stay with her"

"Be nice to her" Draco told him fervently, "Or I swear to you, act or not, I will make you regret hurting her"

"Go on with you" Snape snapped back at him, but gave him only a gentle push down the hall.

Snape reentered the room. "Show me what you ate" he crossed over the room to sit on her bed. Sarah showed him the plate with one piece of toast left. "Good. Now then, potions" He fiddled with the potions on the beside table. "What hurts? And don't lie to me"

Sarah sighed. "My back and my legs, especially. I think I must have locked them, fighting the pain"

Snape grumbled and spooned fed her three types of potions. "The Dark Lord was rather pleased with you today. You didn't beg. He likes that"

"Glad to make him proud" Sarah huffed. "You do know the master you serve is rather insane? You choose him over Dumbledore? Seriously, Uncle Sev, not your smartest move ever"

"That is not for you to decide" Snape told her. "Turn over"

"And what if I tell you no?" Sarah responded, sinking down further into the bed.

"Then I would just do this" he turned her onto her stomach and smacked her rather hard on her bottom. "It's 4:00 now and I have been up all night. You will be cooperative"

Sarah grunted. Snape began to massage her back and then legs, gently soothing her sore muscles, trying to ignore her winces. Sarah couldn't deny that it helped immensely. Her eyes were getting heavy. He must have given her some powerful potions because she was a bit unable to control the next statement from her mouth. She felt so groggy, so drugged.

"Dad?" she asked, dreamily.

"What is it, Sarah?" Snape's tone was soft and reminded her of the times before when Snape cared for her as a father.

"Will you stay with me for the rest of the night?" Sarah asked, "Please?"

"Allow yourself to go to sleep now" Snape's massaging had to turned to gentle pats on her back. "I will stay with you, child"

"I don't understand what I did wrong for you not to love me..." Sarah continued, almost asleep. "If you tell me what to do, I will do anything. I want things to be the same as they were. I can't go on like this" She drifted off and started to snore, heavily sedated by the potions he gave her.

"I already do love you, you silly child" Snape kissed her head and settled in the chair next to her, ready to ward off any dreams that came, anxious to be her protector once again.

* * *

Sarah spent two more days recovering at Malfoy manor under Snape, Draco and Narcissa's watchful eyes, tucked in Draco's room with the house elves sworn to secrecy. She had almost regained all of her strength and while none of them pushed her to leave, she knew she needed to start making plans. And that scared her more than anything- she knew she couldn't go into hiding now. And she would have to return to Hogwarts for the few weeks until her birthday at the end of September, where she would sneak out and join Harry.

She was sitting up in bed, playing a game of chess with Draco when Snape came in to check on how she was feeling.

"I feel much better, thank you for all your help these two days, I know you didn't have to but I'm thankful you did" Sarah replied, running a hand through her hair. "I was wondering if I could discuss something with you though"

Snape nodded. "That will be fine. I did promise your mother to advise you and I take that promise seriously" he took a seat in the chair next to the bed and Draco shuffled on the bed.

"Do you want me to leave, Sarah?" he asked, quietly.

"No, you might as well stay for this too" Sarah responded. "I've been thinking about what happened"

"No doubt your experience was quite traumatizing for one with your sensibilities" Snape retorted. "Continue"

"I can't go into hiding like I had originally planned" Sarah said softly. "Given what...you know who said, I can't ask anybody to take the risk to shelter me"

Draco gasped. "But you must, Sarah. Do you know what Hogwarts will be like if you do return? It may do for some of us, but never for you"

Snape cleared his throat. "I quite agree with Draco, Black. I know the Dark Lord would punish me immensely if he ever found out I was discouraging you from following his orders, but as your protector I must insist that you rethink this. The Lupins would surely want to take the risk. The wolf adores you"

"But he will have a child of his own soon-if something were to happen" Sarah shook her head. "I can't"

"What about Weasley?" Draco suggested, a pained look etched on his face.

Sarah raised an eyebrow. "Do you really think I would allow him to put himself in danger for me? You heard what he said" she continued calmly. "He will find me if I am not at Hogwarts. He has for some reason made it his mission to see me broken and I have no doubt that he will kill Fred in attempts to get information. Actually" she fought tears, "I think I need to call if off with Fred" her voice was hoarse at the prospect of breaking his heart.

"But why?" Draco asked, surprised. He paused at her shocked look. He added, softly, "I love you, Sarah, but you are better off with Fred. And it is what you want. Why cut yourself off when he can make you happy?"

Sarah remained quiet and Snape closed his eyes, perceiving the reasons straight away. "Draco, please leave us now" he ordered. "The less you know the better"

Draco looked in between his godfather and Sarah and finally got up and left the room, closing it firmly behind him. Snape cast silencing charms, warding the room.

"You know my allegiance lies with the Dark Lord, but I am under the vow to care for your needs and protect you. You must watch yourself. I will not compromise my position with the Dark Lord due to your indiscretion"

Sarah nodded. "I wanted just to ask you if I can stay at Snape Manor until it is time to go to Hogwarts"

"With me?" Snape asked, quietly.

"I know you don't love me. I get that. But I need a place to stay and you are my guardian. I hate asking you for this" Sarah's voice grew stronger, "but I have no choice"

Snape got up and began to pace the room. He knew she had set her mind to this course and it would be impossible to sway her from her. Her encounter with the Dark Lord changed her. He only wished that she had gone in hiding before then instead of going to the blasted wedding and all of these complications could have been prevented. Finally, he sighed rather loudly, "If you must. Your room is still ready for you, but it will not be like old times. You will remain in your room except for meals, do you understand?"

"That's fine. I don't want to spend daddy-daughter time with you, anyway" Sarah retorted. "And I know protective charms in case you decide to murder me in my sleep"

"I value my life too much to do so" Snape growled back. He paused, before adding "About Fred, I'm assuming your return to Hogwarts will not be permanent and that is why you wish to break it off with Weasley, fearing there will be retaliation?"

Sarah remained quiet, but her silence spoke volumes.

"You do realize that you will be expected to participate in the Dark Arts class?" Snape's voice was quiet. "I may not report you, but the Carrows certainly will"

"I won't torture other students" Sarah told him. "But hopefully I can do enough to get by until..." Her voice trailed off, not wanting to give too much away.

"He wants good work from you. He sees you as a challenge. If he can convert you, he can others"

"Well, then, I am afraid he will be quite disappointed by me" Sarah responded.

"You are over your head" Severus hissed at her.

"I know I am" Sarah replied, sorrowfully "but what choice do I have?"

**A/N**: Sometimes, a story takes a life of its own. I had plans for this story, but with this chapter, it took Sarah in a different direction...I didn't want her to return to Hogwarts, but given Voldemort's orders and her fear for the safety of others, I feel it would be out of her character not to return. She doesn't want the others to go through what she did. On a better note though, it gives us an interesting story arch that involves Snape and Draco...and not to worry, she will still join the others. What do you all think? Good idea or really bad one? I could still take it in the other direction- hiding with Fred and/or Lupins OR return to Hogwarts for a few weeks? Leave me a review and your suggestions! **Up next: **Sarah tries to get Fred to understand & the (possible) return to Hogwarts...


	19. Home

**A/N: **Thanks for the overwhelming support of the new story direction! Glad to know it makes sense, and wasn't some crazy idea. :) And I'm finding inspiration by having Snape/Sarah in close quarters again, so a quick update! Let me know what you think.

Disclaimer: Still don't own, shocking, I'm sure...

**Chapter 19**:** Home**

Snape finally returned home, after two days of keeping watch over Sarah at the Malfoys. Sarah was on her way to visit Weasley and gather her things from the Lupins. To be honest, Snape didn't know he should feel about this new development. On the one hand, he felt more at ease with her being under his own watch, especially given what happened with the Dark Lord. On the other, he couldn't care for her in the way she needed while he was still being forced to play this game. And while she said she would be cooperative, he knew it was only a matter of time until she pushed the boundaries especially now she didn't really have anything to lose. He couldn't fathom what it would be like when she returned to Hogwarts. He knew she wouldn't be submissive to all the changes. He was afraid it would become a vicious cycle for her- one of rebellion and punishment.

He lowered the concealment charms from Albus's portrait.

Dumbledore put aside the book he was reading. "You were gone for quite some time. I'm assuming the ministry fell" he stopped at Severus's look. "What happened, my dear boy?"

"It's Sarah" Snape lowered himself into his chair and put his feet up. "She was questioned by the Dark Lord before she could go into hiding"

Albus closed his eyes and shuddered. "Our sweet Sarah, oh no" He opened his eyes again, trying to compose himself. "Is she alright?"

"It could have been worse- she had to endure the cruciatus and legilimency, but she remarkably didn't give anything away" Severus told him. "It's just, the Dark Lord-I should have seen this coming, but how was I to know?"

Dumbledore leaned forward. "Know what?"

"He is making Sarah his project" Snape grimaced. "It's like he has made it his personal mission to turn her away from Potter and towards him...to break her"

"A Death eater in training" Albus shook his head in disgust. "And Sarah is the perfect choice for him- totally dedicated to Harry, powerful, intelligent and of good heritage. If he can rip her away from Harry before killing him, it will be his ultimate revenge"

"She's terrified of him now" Severus responded. "She's coming home- who would have ever thought she would ask to come here after she saw me murder you? Oh, the Dark Lord is delighted, but I know that child more than anybody. He can push her hand, but can you imagine her cooperating through a Dark Arts class?"

"She doesn't belong at Hogwarts" Albus replied. "What will you do?"

"Allow her to go and hopefully transfer her detentions from the Carrows to Minerva or Hagrid" Severus said, resigned. "But if she stages an all out rebellion, the Dark Lord will make his displeasure quite known to her and that is what I am afraid of. What more terrors will she have to live through until it is all over? And the worst part is, she needs me, but I am forced to act this disgusting lie"

"I wish I could tell you I had the answer, but I do not. We can only hope that Harry make some success with destroying the horcruxes" Albus sighed.

"I wish I had the faith in Potter that you did, Albus" Severus reached for his potions journal. "But I am afraid, I find it quite a lost cause"

* * *

Sarah twisted her ring absently and took a deep breath. She knew this would be unbelievably hard, yet still. Harry had made the sacrifice and broken up with Ginny and unfortunately, since Voldemort had decided to make her his project in some twisted act of fate, she had to give Fred up too. But after all they had been through and how sweet he was to her, how was she to do so?

She knocked on the door to the flat. George was downstairs in the store and told her to go on up. Sarah had left her bag downstairs with George, so Fred wouldn't see it and immediately get upset.

The door swung open and she found herself being suddenly pulled into Fred's arm.

He was breathing hard and she could tell he was fighting back tears. He clung to her for so many minutes, just holding her, breathing her in. Finally, he felt like he was composed enough to speak.

"Thank Merlin, we were all so worried" he kissed her gently, before pulling away. Her white face caused his heart to quicken. There was a shadow of sorrow in her eyes, a haunting that was becoming all too common. "What is it? What did he do to you?"

"We need to talk, Fred" Sarah told him, softly. "Can I come in?"

He stepped aside, worry filling his features. She was avoiding his gaze and he knew that meant something bad. "Sure. Do you want some water or anything?"

"No, thank you" She sat on the edge of the couch, using her legs to rock slightly back and forth. Closing her eyes briefly, she opened them. "I love you so much, you know that right? And you have been so unbelievably good to me...good for me"

"No!" Fred shook his head adamantly. He held up his hand to stop her. "Stop it now. Whatever you are trying to do, whoever you are trying to save-I don't want to be saved by you" He sat beside her and reached for her hand, squeezing it gently.

"Oh, Fred. I'm not giving you the choice " Sarah bit her lip. She wiggled her hand out of his gasp. Sliding the ring off her finger, she took his hand and put it in it. She closed his hand around the ring.

Fred clutched it in shock, trying to process what was happening.

"Ok, let's just slow down for a minute" Fred threw the ring on the table. "You don't have to wear the ring right now, but you have to tell me what is going on. The truth, Sarah...not some one that will convince me to let you go"

Sarah rubbed her hands over her face. "I got questioned for knowledge of Harry's whereabouts...by Vol...you -know- who himself"

"Did he-Merlin, Sarah what did he do to you?" Fred asked, turning her face towards him with his finger. He was terribly frightened of the possibilities, especially when Sarah had gone to calling Voldemort- _you know who_. She only did that in polite company and even then she was inconsistent with it. With her friends, she called him by his name. She didn't ever fear the name, but now it seems like she did. And that scared him- what horrors did he inflict on her that made her so afraid?

"Three rounds of the cruciatus then legilimency" Sarah whispered, tears filling her eyes.

Fred gasped and reached to put his arm around her, pulling her close to him. Sarah tried to pull away, but Fred held onto her tightly. "Let me hold you for a bit. _Please_"

Sarah stopped fighting. She was weary and tired of it all. "I'm fine now, Fred, really. Snape and Draco were there"

"Snape?" Fred stiffened and stifled a groan. "Did he gloat, that bastard?"

"He helped me recover, Fred. He was as snarky as ever, but he helped me" Sarah told him. "And I'm going back to live with him" She paused. "And I'm going back to Hogwarts in September"

Fred pulled away and got up to pace around the room. "I don't understand why you would do that when it is so much safer for you to go into hiding"

Sarah jumped up and pulled at his arm to stop his pacing. "Safer for me. But not for Lupin. Not for Tonks who is expecting their child. I will not...I cannot have their deaths on my hands"

"Then go into hiding with me" Fred insisted. "I will protect you"

"Don't you get it?" Sarah hissed. "He is a monster. He will kill you. I am under his orders to return to Hogwarts in September and I would be stupid to try to disobey"

"Snape's orders?" Fred asked, confused. "Why would Snape care?"

"Not Snape" Sarah shook his head, sorrowfully. "No, unfortunately, he doesn't care..."

"You don't mean-you know who?" Fred gasped, horrified at that thought. "Since when do you take orders from you know who? You aren't a bloody Death Eater"

"Since, I spent three rounds of the cruciatus with him, vomiting all over the carpet of Malfoy's library...since, I was told that he was going easy on me and that pain was nothing compared to what he could do to me if he wasn't so _merciful_...since, he told me that he _disapproves _of our relationship" Sarah tried to even her breathing, but she was panicking trying to get him to understand. "He has some sort of...I don't know how to describe it...he sees me as a challenge. He wants to break me and he will not hesitate to use you especially when he finds out I'm missing when I go join the others..."

"I don't care about all of that. I would die for you" Fred told her, fervently. His voice was hoarse with passion. "Don't you get it? I love you!"

"And don't you understand?" Sarah sobbed, "I don't want you to do that because _I love you_! If you die because of me, I will die inside. My father sacrificed himself for me and I still live with that guilt. I can't do it anymore. I won't!"

Fred looked stricken and Sarah added softly, "I will live with Snape. I will return to Hogwarts. I will get by enough to make him pleased and then I will join the others and help Harry with his mission. It is the only way to keep all of you safe. I already talked to the Remus and Tonks and after much convincing, they have agreed to let me do this. Please allow me to do this too"

"Your decision has already been made" Fred told her. "I don't allow you to do anything"

"I would feel much better" Sarah swallowed down the lump in her throat, "if I knew that I had your support in this"

"My support to break up with me?" Fred laughed. "Not likely, Sarah"

Sarah went over to stand closer to him. Kissing his cheek, she whispered in his ear. "Please don't be bitter with me"

"Oh, Sarah" Fred grabbed her waist and pulled him into him. "I could never been bitter with you"

They kissed- sweet, passionate, desperate kisses. Fred turned her around and backed her up against the wall of the flat. They kissed for so long and so hard that when they broke away, they were both out of breath. "Tell me" Fred panted. "Tell me there is another way"

"Like what?" Sarah asked, breathless.

Fred thought for a few minutes. "What is going on with us? We get around each other and we lose our heads. If there is one thing that our pranking past has taught us is how" Fred smiled tenderly at her. "to be sneaky"

"Meaning?" Sarah asked.

"What if we pretend to break up? You are already fooling him. I know you won't go into hiding with me and I get your reasons, but don't break up with me truly. You need something to hold onto while you are playing this game"

Sarah held her breath as she backed away for him. Her mind ran rampant with all the possibilities. Was this a good idea or a really stupid idea? She never thought that it could even be an option.

"Could it really work?" Sarah frowned. "I'm really serious- I don't want your association with me to put you in danger"

"What association?" Fred shrugged, innocently. "You broke up with me today. Broke my heart. Quite terribly so"

"You should keep the ring for good measure" Sarah finally sighed, "but I want it back one day"

"Absolutely" Fred kissed her. "But before we are truly _broken_ up, I want some non-broken up time with you"

"I know I should tell you this is stupid, but I rather feel like I can't face what is to come" Sarah told him, "without the hope of you to hold to. I just hope I am the same person when he is finished with his plans for me and you still want me"

"He could never change who you are, Sarah" Fred told her. "Just be careful- you are being thrown into the den with the snakes and we know how slithery and slimy they can be"

"It's only for two months" Sarah kissed him back. "I can do this. I have to"

* * *

Sarah left Fred's feeling quite drained. The last thing she wanted to do was go the Snape's, but she knew she had little choice. Throwing her bag over her shoulder, she used the floo to travel to Snape Manor. She just wished that she could apparate already, but she didn't want to take the chance yet without her license.

She stepped through, dusting off the powder. Snape looked up from his newspaper. He flicked his wand and sealed the floo network.

"Did you take care of what you needed to?" he asked.

"Yes" Sarah replied. She shuffled awkwardly, not exactly sure of how to behave. "I just will go upstairs now"

"Do that" Severus replied and lifted his newspaper back up. "Dinner at 6:30. Do not be late"

She hadn't expected that. Dinners with Snape? Why?

"Shouldn't I just make myself up a tray?" Sarah asked. "I know you don't really want to eat dinner with me, seeing as I'm such a burden to you"

Snape slowly lowered his paper. "Do not argue with me. Dinner at 6:30. You will be present and polite. I wouldn't want anyone to think I was keeping you prisoner here"

Sarah rolled her eyes as Snape pulled the paper back up. "No, must keep up appearances" she grunted.

Snape didn't bother putting aside the paper this time, but still added silkily, "And oh, Black, the rules _and consequences_ for this household still stand"

Sarah snorted as she closed the door on the way out. "Like hell, they do..."

* * *

Sarah found her time in her room to be constraining- terribly boring. The walls kept closing in as thoughts overtook her- thoughts of her parents, of Snape, of Voldemort...remembering what happened, dreading what was to come. Dinner with Snape was a silent affair, one in which she just tried to choke down her food as quickly as possible. She needed a project and she knew just the one. And a side benefit of this one is if she got caught it would make Snape bloody mad, but she doubt he would want to deal with it- he would probably just send her back to her room and lock the door.

Tonks had confided in her yesterday that they were having a hard time finding Wolfsbane- with Voldemort taking over the ministry not many wanted to take the chance to brew it. She studied the instructions in her potions book and while she knew that it was an extremely complicated potion, she was a NEWT student and her grades had been good last year in Potions under Professor Slughorn as well. She was so thankful for their willingness to help her that she definitely knew she wanted to do this- and she was hoping the project would take her mind off of things. Yes, it was over her head, but the challenge would probably help clear her mind of all the thoughts that were plaguing her.

She decided that she needed to buy the ingredients herself. Yes, she was breaking all of Snape's rules, but she didn't quite have the courage to steal the ingredients from him. She had leftover money from when Lupin took her to the Black family vault, just enough to buy the ingredients. Of course, she wouldn't have money for books in the fall. She frowned- she never thought she would return and she hadn't done her summer essays yet. Oh, just another thing to add to the list. Wiggles had told her this morning that Snape had been called away and wanted a reminder that she was to stay in her room. Sarah thought this was a perfect opportunity. She flooed to Diagon Alley, got the ingredients and flooed back to Snape Manor. Assured by Wiggles that Snape was not here, she pushed open the door to the lab.

Stepping into the lab, memories bombarded her of time after time of brewing with Snape. It was a comforting place for her and Sarah got to work right away. She supposed she hadn't really thought this through, but what was the worst Snape could do to her? She had just been crucio-ed by Voldemort himself.

She spent the morning, preparing the massive amounts of ingredients that had to go into the delicate potion. Taking a breath, she lit the burner to the cauldron. She looked back at the potion. It was difficult. She was determined to follow step by step exactly as written. Snape often said that patience was the key to good potion brewing and Sarah had tons right now.

She was so engrossed in her work that she didn't hear Snape until it was too late.

"Sarah Grace Black, what in Merlin's name are you doing in here?" he thundered, his voice echoing through the room.

Sarah had jumped, but she managed not to startle the potion.

She tried to get her breathing under control- he had frightened her dreadfully. She was determined to act nonchalant about the whole thing.

"What does it look like?" she shrugged. "You were gone and I got bored. Sorry, didn't think you would mind"

Snape crossed his arms. "You didn't think I would mind?" He struggled to get his breath, but he was so angry that he couldn't see straight. "_You didn't think I would mind?_" His voice was abnormally raised. Usually, he could get his displeasure across by his tone alone, but occasionally she pushed him to yelling, rather exploding at her in temper. These were one of these times. "How long have you lived with me?"

Sarah frowned as she studied the potion and added the next step. Turning slightly to him, "Well, that was when you were my daddy. Now that you aren't, I didn't think you would mind. Lower your voice. Hasn't Narcissa taught you that it is not polite to yell?"

Severus stirred at her boldness, her disrespect. Reeling in control of his temper, he lowered his voice.

"Well, you are sorely mistaken" Snape growled, sweeping over to her. "Just what are you doing?"

"Brewing a potion, what does it look like?" Sarah turned to smile sweetly at him. "Really, for being a potions master for so long, I'm surprised at you"

Snape smacked the back of her head and Sarah yelped but thankfully managed not to disturb the table. She scowled at him as she rubbed her head. "You are not in the position to be smart with me right now. I have half a mind to turn you over and..."

"Well, can you wait to spank me until I'm done?" Sarah interrupted as she added the next ingredient, stirring it gently. "I need to concentrate, so back away from me now"

She moved over to lean down and read the next direction, focused on her work. For a moment, Snape was shocked into silence. Ordinarily, he would know exactly to proceed, but he was forced to behave under the lie he had concocted. He watched her with his arms crossed, deliberating his next move.

"It's my lab" Snape asserted, his voice a snarl. Leaning over her shoulder, he studied her potion. "And I will do as I..." he paused and stood there, dumbfounded. _"Is that wolfsbane?"_

"Oh good, I must be doing it right" Sarah murmured. She read the next set of directions and reached for the ingredients.

"It's a highly delicate potion, Black" Snape said, his voice low. "You are liable to blow this whole place up and you're at a tricky stage of brewing. _Move over_."

"I got this" Sarah reached to put it in, but Snape grabbed her wrist. "You are putting too much in. A drop too much and you are sunk" He took the mixture from her hand and adjusted it for her. "Now pour it carefully, stirring it counter clockwise"

"Thank you" Sarah responded, softly. She read the next set of directions and frowned. Maybe she was a bit over her head. She turned to him, nervous. "Maybe you should take over"

He leaned over to examine her potion and stepped over to look at the prepared ingredients. "No" Snape's voice was firm. "You are doing fine. You started it and you will finish it. Read the next set of directions aloud to me"

She did so and they became clear. And Sarah continued to cautiously work, under the watchful gaze of Severus who had taken a seat next to her. There were a few more moments of uncertainty when Snape guided her through the directions, but finally, she had finished it and set protective charms over it to help it simmer.

Sarah felt a little triumphant to have successful brewed such a difficult potion, but the feeling that almost overwhelmed her was the feeling of home. How many times had Snape coached her in this lab as her father, her teacher? This was her home, but yet it really never was. And as she thought of it, a deep sadness bubbled up within her and with that, a bitterness.

"Well" Sarah shifted uncomfortably, "I think I should just go back to my room now" She rose and began to head for the door, but Snape grabbed and twisted her back towards him.

"You really think it is going to work that way?" he asked, his eyebrow raised.

Sarah tried to pry herself from his grasp, but he was too strong for her. The bitterness had quite the hold now on her emotions and she responded to it. "Actually, yes, I do. We aren't playing this daddy-daughter game anymore so it would be inappropriate for you to try to punish me"

"Even if in my vow to your mother, I promised to punish you when you went astray?" he asked, quietly. "And this would surely be considered one of those times" He clucked at her. "A highly complicated and dangerous potion... even NEWT students, like yourself, shouldn't attempt that, especially alone. Don't you think this would be a time your mother would consider worthy of punishment?" His presence was intimidating, but Sarah refused to back down.

Still, he made a point. She paused. She had forgotten about that. "I really didn't think you would want to be bothered by it"

"You think you can enter my lab, use my potions ingredients and I would allow you to get away with it consequence-free?" Snape asked, his eyes digging into hers and Sarah nearly withered under his stern gaze. "What would I do if you were in school? I may not wish to be your father, but as your guardian and your teacher- now your headmaster I have certain obligations for your discipline- one the Dark Lord himself has placed upon me"

"OH, let's not talk about _him_. He has not right to demand anything in regards to _that_" Sarah huffed.

"Show some respect" Snape hissed. "And he has taken over both the ministry and Hogwarts, I dare say he can make whatever demands he damn well chooses"

"I hate him and I hate you even more and that's saying something" Sarah wiggled out of his grasp. "I didn't use your ingredients- I paid for them with my own money, so the way I see it you just need to _back off_. I'm going to my room- if you want to come and curse...oh, I mean _punish_ me, I'll be up there"

She stalked off, leaving Snape to wonder how he should deal with her rather big misstep. He knew that she was doing it for Lupin, so her motives were in the right place. And he also realized that she would never ask him for help. She hadn't stolen for him, which was to her credit. But she did attempt something that was considerably over her ability level, though he was surprised and frankly rather proud that she did so well with it, needing his coaching in only a few places. This was the same child whose potions were a wreck her first year? He smiled at the remembrance. She had come a long way.

Still, it was dangerous and clearly flaunting disobedience and disrespect to one of the most sacred rules of the house. She was pushing her limits as a challenge to him. The disrespect, the arrogance...To turn a blind eye, well, he knew act or not he would never be able to do that. But to act threatened to give away what he had been holding from her so long...

* * *

"The way I see it, Severus, is that you have two options" Dumbledore advised him. "Tell her the truth and then punish her. Or punish her without telling her the truth"

"Very helpful, Albus" Severus grumbled. "I think I could have come up with that myself. Really, has being a portrait addled your brains?"

Albus chuckled. "Don't believe so, my boy. I really view the situation as that simple"

"I can't tell her the truth" Snape shook his head, "but I am conflicted with it. After she was manhandled by the Dark Lord, I don't want her to view my punishment as more of the same"

"Do you intend to curse her?" Albus asked calmly.

"No, of course, not!" he responded, quite offended by the question.

"Then she won't view it as more of the same- you act like she is incapable of knowing the difference between unforgivables and lines or smacks" Albus rolled his eyes. "Given that she just almost successfully and independently brewed wolfsbane potion, I think she is quite capable of using reason"

Snape gave a small smile. "It was remarkable, Albus. She could be a master in potions if she wished. I never thought I would see the day"

"You are proud of her" Albus grinned.

"I am, terribly so, in fact" Severus rubbed his eyes. "If only, I knew she would live to see the day that she could reach her full potential. I hope to Merlin that the Dark Lord doesn't break her spirit"

"Sarah has an advantage that he does not" Albus reminded him and when Severus looked at him skeptical, Dumbledore quickly added, "A father's love"

"That she does" Severus whispered. "She does have that, even if she doesn't know it"

* * *

Severus gave Sarah some time to stew in her room, before knocking on her door.

"Come to curse me?" Sarah asked when he entered. She was sitting up on her bed, book in her hand.

"Really, Sarah" Severus chided as he took a seat on her bed. "Have I ever cursed you before?"

"Oh, excuse me? Did I hurt your feelings, Snape?" Sarah glared at him. "I watched you kill the Headmaster, I had to try to heal George Weasley's cursed ear and you did allow you know who to get his hands on me without second thoughts, so yeah, I think it could be a legitimate possibility"

He narrowed his eyes and captured her face with his hand. "If you think I liked what the Dark Lord did to you, you are mistaken. My choices in this war, have nothing to do with _you_"

Sarah bit her lip. "But you said that you have never cared for me, so what exactly are you saying?"

"Only this" Severus replied smoothly. "You shouldn't take my role in this war as a personal insult to you. I may not desire to be your father or have that sort of relationship with you, but I do still feel some obligations to you...from our past, even if it was a lie...and those obligations aren't wholly burdensome to me and I'm determined to hold your welfare in high regard"

"I still don't understand what that means!" Sarah groaned. "That makes no sense to me! Why would you say something like that?"

"Perhaps you should apply your mind to it" Severus squeezed her chin. "and figure it out"

Sarah thought for a moment, but her conclusions made her sick. "Is it because I look like my mum?"

"Partly" Severus answered. "And...?"

"By tolerating me, you get to brag about it to you know who?" she glared, wanting to sick up.

Severus shook his head, exhausted. "Your temper really must be brought under control" he chided. "I am much more forgiving of it then the Dark Lord will be"

"Are you going to crucio me into submission, sir?" Sarah challenged.

"No, Black" Severus rubbed his temples. "You infuriating child, I will not"

"Then why are you here?" she asked. "Just go..."

Snape squeezed her arm. "Doesn't work that way. You did something quite foolish this afternoon and I would be breaking my vow with your mother if I turned the other way. Furthermore, upon reflection I have found that I don't want to...call it a habit, I just simply cannot let your reckless behavior slide"

Sarah's eyes grew wide as she clenched her teeth. "I hate you "

"Yes, I know" Severus smacked her leg. "You have said that before"

"Well, I just thought you should hear it again. Often- for every time you told me that you loved me and it was a damn lie! All of it!" She angrily swiped away the tears that were betraying her true feelings to him.

Snape swallowed hard, finding it hard not to hide his feelings. He cleared his mind. "We have a repertoire with this type of behavior, do we not?"

Sarah took a breath. "I'm not a child anymore and I refuse to be treated like one"

"Then stop acting like one" Severus hissed back. "An adult knows their limits. You push yours to the point of no return"

"Still" Sarah argued, crossing her arms stubbornly. "I refuse to be treated like one"

"Then leave" Snape answered, his voice grim. "But since the ministry has fallen, it is quite chaotic out there. And Bellatrix would love to get her hands on you. I dare say she would defy the Dark Lord to do so. Or you can choose to be a good girl and accept the 10 smacks I plan to give you and 800 lines you must write"

"Bloody hell" Sarah's face grew white. "800?"

Snape had to bite his cheek from stopping laughing at her astonished face. Instead, he forced a smirk. "Makes the 10 smacks seem like nothing, doesn't it? And you did say you were bored and this was what perpetuated the situation"

Sarah let out a frustrated groan. "Why do you always have the upper hand in _everything_?"

Sev grabbed her arm and rolled her over on her side. "Years of practice. You'll get there one day...not with me, of course, but I'm sure that you will have the upper hand over someone- your husband maybe?"

He delivered the 10 smacks quickly. They had a sting, but weren't very hard. Really, Sev knew she was too old for it, but he had made the promise that no matter how old she was, the consequences for messing with potions would be the same. And, frankly, if truth be told, they were more for her smart mouth than anything and he felt that she needed to be humbled a bit, especially when her mouth grew too reckless. Smacks were nothing compared to the Dark Lord's punishment...and like Snape, he did hate to be disrespected.

Sarah had sat back up on her bed, hugging her legs to her and burying her head in her knees. "I only wanted to do something nice for the Lupins"

"Yes, I know" Severus responded, quietly. He had the strongest desire to reach out and stroke her head, but instead, he clenched his hands at his side. Six years ago, the comforting after discipline had felt so forced, now to let her struggle through it, felt so unnatural to him.

"Then why punish me for it?" she asked, wearily.

"It's about understanding your limits and thinking of that before you act, Sarah" he told her, his voice low. "It's about making sure that you can handle whatever the consequences of the choices you make before you dive into them- a lesson that you need to think about _before_ you go back to Hogwarts. It will not be easy for you, by any means and if you are thinking of leading a rebellion..."

Sarah lifted her head, but Severus held up his hand. "I'm not stupid, Sarah. Today, you wanted to do something nice for the Lupins, but part of you wished to usurp my authority. At Hogwarts even more so, you will be tempted to do so, especially when confronted with things that you clearly believe are not right. But your actions will be met with consequences"

"So you, like him, are trying to see me broken too?" She bit her lip.

Severus stood and smoothed down his pants. "Actually, no, quite the opposite. I'm trying to prevent that from happening"

_"But why?"_

Everything in Severus's body wanted to reveal the truth right then, but instead he opted for, "800 lines. I_ will think through all consequences to my actions before I act and act in a reasonable manner_"

Sarah whined, "That's really long!"

"Yes, I know" Severus replied, opening her door. "Get to work. I'll bring you a tray up for dinner"

He closed the door behind him, leaving Sarah wondering what that was all about. She was so confused.

* * *

Two hours later, Snape knocked on the door to bring a tray up of soup and sandwiches.

He placed the tray on her desk as Sarah was sitting on her bed, writing lines, pressing on a book.

"How many have you done so far?" he asked.

She frowned and held it up. "Maybe 50?" She rubbed her temples, exhausted by her potion brewing and the lines she had done so far.

"Take a break and eat your dinner" he instructed, concerned by her pale face.

"I'm not really hungry, but thanks for bringing it to me" Sarah mumbled, rubbing her neck and shoulders. "I had a big breakfast, so I'm not really hungry"

"Breakfast?" Snape stilled. "Didn't you eat lunch?"

Sarah stared at her parchment, but didn't respond.

"Black" Sev snapped at her. "You brewed that potion on an empty stomach and now you refuse to eat?"

Still, she remained quiet. "Sarah, answer me" Snape insisted.

She shook her head and clamped her mouth shut.

"Why do you insist on this childish behavior?" he tried to control his temper because he could feel himself about to yell again. He lifted the tray and placed it on her bed. Sitting next to it, he grabbed her arm. "You will eat or I will add 500 more lines to this assignment"

"You think you can bully me into everything, don't you?" Sarah lifted the bowl and grabbed the spoon. With shaking hands she took a spoonful, before putting it down in exasperation.

"I can't eat when I feel like this. Everything is so out of control. Nothing is the way it is supposed to be" Tears began to fall. "This is supposed to be a safe place for me-my home, but it was all just a sick illusion"

Sighing, Sev picked up the bowl and spoon. "You are overwrought and so shaky because you had a very taxing afternoon and haven't eaten since you have woken up. It is now 7 pm. What do you expect? Open your mouth and don't argue"

"I'm not a baby. You don't need to feed me" Sarah protested but Severus hushed her.

"Just eat a few spoonfuls with me and see if you feel less shaken and then I am more than happy to relinquish control to you"

Sarah did as she was told. When she had something in her stomach, she did feel like she could take over without spilling soup all over her. Snape sat with her until she finished eating the whole bowl and her entire sandwich.

Snape rose and shuffled through her drawer and threw a pair of pajamas to her. "Go change and brush your teeth. Early bedtime tonight"

"Stop acting like my dad. You aren't him anymore" Sarah's lip trembled.

"I'm not- I'm acting as your guardian and head of this house. And you are going to bed. You will obey me" Snape told her, firmly. With another groan, Sarah obeyed.

When she got out of the lavatory, she snuggled in bed without argument. Snape turned off her light.

"Goodnight, Black" He was about to shut the door, when Sarah stopped him.

"Do you think, Draco, could come and stay with us for a bit?"

Severus was taken aback by the request. "You break up with Weasley and are moving on with Draco already?"

"No! Merlin, no! It's not that" Sarah rolled her eyes. "It's just that- well, my parents are dead, most of the people I'm close to are in hiding and you are...well, you...and Draco might be my only friend left...we have another three weeks before going back. It would just make things easier. Please?"

"I don't see why not" Severus responded, "I'll talk with Narcissa tomorrow. Goodnight, Sarah"

"Thanks, Da-Uncle Se-Snape" Sarah groaned, utterly aghast at her slip-up. "Merlin, I hate my life right now"

Snape shut the door and turned around, leaning against it. "Me too, Sarah Grace. Me too"

A/N: So Sarah couldn't last 24 hours without pushing Snape to the edge. And Poor Snape- his actions were a bit confusing, but I think he is starting to consider giving up at least part of the charade...maybe. Up next: Draco visits and argues with Snape about Sarah...


	20. Unraveling

**A/N:** Thanks again to all who have reviewed! Glad to know you are enjoying Snape-Sarah back together again...they are fun to write! Another quick update- the ideas just keep coming :)

** Chapter 20: Unraveling**

Much to Sarah's relief, Draco came two days later after she finished the monumental task of 800 lines. Snape pretty much left them up to their own devices and with Draco there, Sarah was not confined to her room, but they still tried to stay out of Snape's way.

They were both surprised with how quickly they fell back into their friendship. It seemed that Sarah's time at Malfoy Manor helped restore alot of her trust in Draco. However, they both understood that things had changed and intuitively, Draco realized that even if Sarah had broken things off with Weasley, she was still committed to him. But Snape Manor was the place in past years were they could always be free to be themselves, regardless of situation or status or house affiliation. They enjoyed each others company and as Snape observed privately the first night, he had never seen his godson so carefree and personable as when he was with Sarah. And Sarah's smile was back on her face, for which he was grateful for. It was like they could finally be kids again-even if Draco was of age and Sarah was rapidly approaching it.

They managed to keep busy the first day by playing games and going flying (much to Sarah's reluctance, but it did feel good to get out of the house). The morning of the next day, they were trying to decide on what to do. It was so different without having Snape's guidance or constant pestering, outlining their activities for the day.

They were eating breakfast in the kitchen when Sarah came up with an idea. "Let's bake cupcakes. I'm craving some chocolate ones- no pudding this past week has been awful. When Snape was playing Daddy we always had treats"

"Baking" Draco snorted. "That's so muggle of you. Can't Wiggles do it?"

Sarah smacked his arm. "Watch it. I don't share your master's view of muggles and I think you might actually find it fun" She rose and began to sift through the cabinets and wrinkled her nose. They needed more ingredients- flour, sugar, cocoa powder, chocolate chips. They had plenty of eggs which was good. Did Snape never eat sweets now?

She tugged at Draco's arm. "Let's go to the store"

He looked skeptical. "To the store? Do wizards actually go grocery shopping?"

"Yes, just not the snotty rich ones" Sarah giggled. "We haven't ever gone to the store before all those summers we were here together?"

Draco shook his head and Sarah winked at him. "Come on, Malfoy. Are you scared?" she teased.

Draco stood taller. "No, not at all"

"Good" Sarah smiled as she patted his arm. "Now go ask Snape for some money for me, please?"

Malfoy grumbled. "Why me?"

"Because you are his godson" Sarah answered, flippantly, adjusting her headband. "And a Death Eater. And he loves you, not me. And I'm out of money, so go" She pushed him towards the door.

"I still can't believe you brewed Wolfsbane and got caught and lived to tell about it" Draco shook his head in wonder.

Sarah flexed her wrist, remembering the pain of doing 800 lines. "800 lines Draco! And 10 smacks...like I'm some bloody child"

Draco raised an eyebrow. "You are lucky that you can sit and you know it" He patted his pockets and pulled out some money. "And I have money"

Sarah had to bite her lip from exploding in laughter. "Draco, we need muggle money! I would love to see you try to pay with that..."

"I'm glad you find this so amusing" Draco muttered as he went off to find Snape. He came back a few minutes later, stuffing the money in his pocket.

"Snape said not to burn down the house" he told her.

"And why would I want to do that-" Sarah tossed her head. "when it is my inheritance? He is so annoying"

Draco looked at her funny. "I think he was joking, Sarah"

Sarah frowned but didn't respond as she pulled on her jacket, stopping briefly to fix her hair. She opened the pantry and took the shopping bag that was hanging on a hook. Slinging it over her shoulder, they stepped out the back door and made their way down the road to the village store.

Draco cleared his throat. "Can I ask you a question without you flying off the handle at me?"

"Sure, shoot" Sarah responded, hugging her arms around her. It was summer, but still a chilly, cloudy day.

"Why are you ok with me and still pissed with Snape?"

"That's easy" Sarah replied. "You didn't kill Dumbledore even though you were ordered to. You were worried about your family which caused you to take the Dark Mark in the first place, not some inane love of the dark arts. There is still hope for you, but Snape was clearly bad all along" She shivered slightly. "And _our_ relationship was never a lie, was it?"

Fire burned in Draco's eyes as he grabbed her wrist. "Never, Sarah"

Sarah smiled back at him, but gently dislodged her wrist from his grasp. "And Snape hates me"

"That's really not true, Black" Draco responded as they entered the store. She picked up a basket by the door and draped it over her arm.

"Really?" Sarah led them down the baking aisle and began throwing things in her basket. "Well, I'm sorry Draco, we will just have to disagree on that one. You didn't see the horrible memory that he showed me- the sick vow he and my mother made. It was disgusting"

"I'm just saying Snape is still different with you than he is with anybody else" Draco argued. "That has to count for something"

"I hate him Draco" Sarah looked for the flour and stood on her tippy-toes to reach it. The basket was getting heavy. Draco gently tugged it off her arm and carried it as Sarah tossed the flour in the basket. "How would you feel if you dad and mum told you that they never loved you to begin with- that they just pretended to?"

"Awful" Draco admitted. "But Snape is still taking care of you"

"He is tolerating my presence. There is a difference" Sarah ran a hand through her hair. "I think that is it. Come on. Let's pay"

Sarah shuffled through the aisles to the queue. When it was their turn, Mrs. O'bryan leaned discreetly over the counter. "Sarah, darling, have you seen this?" She handed her the _The_ _Times_. "More attacks on muggles. It's dreadful"

Draco creased his brow and Sarah leaned over to whisper to him behind her hand. "Mrs. O'bryan is a witch. Have you never met?"

Again, Draco shook his head and looked uncomfortable, but Sarah ignored it. She took the newspaper from her and began to read it, gasping at its contents. She put her hand to her chest. "Oh no, that's horrible. They attacked a family traveling on holiday. And random fires throughout neighborhoods in the surrounding areas...those poor children" Her stomach sunk as she thought of the chaos Voldemort was creating- the horror for all those families. He was truly not one to cross.

"I know, dear. And now that you- know-who controls the Daily Prophet-we aren't getting any information. Most Order sympathizers are going into hiding. I myself am thinking of closing up the store with my husband being a muggle and all"

"Is it that bad, Mrs. O'Bryan? We live in a muggle village" Sarah's brow creased as she continued to read the paper, getting more distressed with every word read.

"It is- and living in a muggle village makes it all the worse, dearie" She paused as she bagged the items, using the shopping bag Sarah handed her. "Snape isn't doing anything to you that he shouldn't, is he? I was horrified when I learned that you had returned home to him- with him killing Dumbledore" She looked suspiciously at Draco. "Who is that?"

"You haven't met Draco, Mrs. O'bryan? He is Snape's godson" Sarah replied. "He visits us almost every summer, but I guess hasn't for quite some time. We used to date"

"Is he-?" Mrs. O'bryan leaned to whisper in Sarah's ear. "There are spies everywhere"

Sarah frowned and Draco shuffled, becoming quite uneasy. "I trust him" she replied, firmly.

"But is he? If he is Snape's godson..." Her frown grew deeper. "That isn't Draco _Malfoy_ is it?"

"It's Ok, Mrs. O'bryan, really, Draco isn't going to repeat any of this to anyone" Sarah assured her. "But we need to be going. How much is it?"

"7 pounds, 30 pence" She replied and Draco reached in his pocket and handed the money to her and Sarah paid.

"Take care of yourself, Sarah" Mrs. O'bryan patted her shoulder. "Dreadful days are ahead"

"I know all about that" Sarah sighed. "You too" She reached for the bag and handed it to Draco to carry.

Draco let out a breath. "That was uncomfortable for me"

"You have to let some of it slide, Draco. They are scared of the whole lot of you- and rightfully so, look what is happening" Sarah stopped and grabbed his arm. "You aren't going to say anything to Snape or your dad or anyone else about that conversation?"

"Of course not" Draco said, haughtily. "I can be discreet"

"Good" Sarah replied. "Because we are still on different sides, you know? I may be acquiescing to you -know-who's wishes right now, but I am firmly behind Harry. And I am going to do everything in my power for him to defeat the bastard. And for us to be friends I need to know you won't rat me out to ...you -know -who or Snape"

Draco reached to touch her shoulder. "Why don't you call him by his name anymore?"

Sarah shuddered. "I'm afraid of him, I guess. Took 6 bloody years for me to fear the name, but here we are"

His heart lurched for her. He was afraid of him too, but to see Sarah, who was so normally feisty, broken- it worried him. "Do you realize how awful it was for me to watch the Dark Lord do that to you? I will _never_ betray you to him. Please believe me"

"I do, Draco, I do" Sarah smiled again. "Let's go. We should get started"

* * *

Sarah tied her hair back in a pony tail. The groceries were lined on the counter. She washed her hands and Draco followed suit.

She handed him the cupcake tin. "Ok, so we need to butter the tin" She handed him a tub of butter. "Go for it" Her eyes danced with mirth at the prospect of watching Draco do something so undignified and for the first time since returning to Snape Manor, she felt rather lighthearted.

Draco crinkled his nose. "That sounds unpleasant. What does that mean?"

Sarah giggled. She undid the lid to the tub. She took his hand and shoved his fingers in the tub of butter, covering them. "Grab a bit of this and then go like this on the tin" She moved his fingers around the first cup on the cupcake tin. "Make sure you cover all of it"

"Eww, that's so..." Draco searched for an adjective. "Greasy"

"Yeah, that is kind of the point. It is called greasing the tin" She stuck out her tongue at him. She wiped her buttery hand on the red flowered towel. "I'll crack the eggs and try not to get any shell in the bowl. I'm really bad at it. I think it is an art form"

"Can't you use magic, witch?" Draco teased, as he rather awkwardly spread more butter on his fingers.

Sarah put a hand on her hip. "And what fun is that, Malfoy? What you people don't understand is that sometimes things are much better done without magic"

"Don't let the Dark Lord hear you say that. He would probably beat that philosophy right out of you" Draco mumbled.

"I'm not an idiot" Sarah quickly whisked together the eggs and sugar. "Done with that yet?"

"I think so" And Sarah went over to inspect his work. "Nice. You are a natural, Malfoy" she giggled and Draco reached for the towel to swat her hard.

Sarah just laughed harder, but reached to rub out the sting. She measured the flour and poured that and melted butter and cocoa powder and chocolate chips into the egg/sugar mixture. Pouring a bit in each tin, she opened the oven and stuck them in. "Ten to fifteen minutes" she told Draco.

Draco leaned against the counter. "So what do we do as we wait?"

Sarah looked mischievously at him. "Clean up the dishes, Malfoy"

"Do not tell me that you aren't going to use magic for that?" Draco grumbled. "I can sort of get the baking part, but not the cleaning up part"

Sarah began to put away the sugar and eggs. Eying the flour on the counter, she laughed under her breath. She didn't know what it was, but she did feel almost giddy.

"You are right. But it should be alot messier to require the use of magic" Grabbing a handful of flour, she threw it in Draco's direction, covering him with a white, powdery dust.

"Sarah Black" He glared at her, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "That is not how a young lady..."

Sarah giggled and threw another handful at him. "Ok, _Dad_..." She rolled her eyes. "Live a little, Malfoy" She grabbed a cup full and dumped it over him. Draco grabbed her waist and shoved her into the counter, pinning her against it.

"Oh, I'll live a little" He took the entire bag and unceremoniously poured it over her head. Sarah screamed, covered with flour. Suddenly, she broke down into peels of laughter. She laughed so hard that she doubled over and tears streamed down her face.

"Black, Malfoy. Keep it down" Snape snapped and stopped in his tracks at the sight of his kitchen. His godson holding his niece who was unable to control her giggles, bending over, both of them and a good portion of the kitchen covered with flour.

His eyes narrowed, unable to judge the situation. "Somebody explain..."

Draco gave his godfather a lopsided grin. "I think Black is finally having a psychotic break, Uncle Sev. She practically attacked me with this...this-" he leaned over and whispered to her. "What is it called again?"

"Flour, Draco" Sarah laughed harder. "Merlin help me, I'm losing it. I'm staying here with two death eaters and I'm teaching the one how to bake...if only you-know-who was here it would complete the party. Want to ask him to come join, Snape?"

Snape stared at her, blinking hard and Draco shot him a concerned look.

Sarah started to hyperventilate. "I need to sit down" She rubbed the stitch in her side as she sat at the table. She put her head down and suddenly without warning her laughter was replaced by crying.

"Is she laughing or crying now?" Draco asked, his voice worried.

"A bit a both, I think" Snape finally replied. He wasn't sure how to handle the meltdown in his kitchen. Draco inclined his head towards his godfather. "Go to her" he mouthed but Snape planted his feet and shook his head adamantly.

"Mind your own business" he mouthed back. Forcing his voice stern, "When you have quite calmed yourself, I think you and Draco need to clean this mess up- _without magic_"

Sarah lifted a hand at him and waved him off. Still, Snape stood at the doorway. "And, Black, I do think you need a nap this afternoon after your baking adventure is done"

"Oh, Snape" Sarah raised her head to look at him, her eyes pooling with tears. She laughed, bitterly, at him. "A nap is not going to help me"

His eyes narrowed. "Still, I think it would be advisable to do so...along with a bath" his voice trailed off. "Is something burning?"

"Oh, damn...my cupcakes" Sarah shot up and reached for towels to open the door and remove the baking tray. She threw it on top of the oven, it landing with a clang. "And I really wanted some chocolate"

Draco studied them, his nose slightly upturned at the burnt smell. "You don't think we could salvage any of..." he frowned. "I'm not sure we can call it food?"

Sarah groaned. "No..." She reached to wipe the tears from her face, but her hands was covered with flour.

"Take this" Snape walked over and pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket. She took it, somewhat tentatively, and wiped her eyes.

"Now then" Snape instructed. "Clean up the mess and then eat some lunch. A long nap for you, Black and Draco, you and I can play wizarding chess"

Sarah turned her back to him and grumbled, looking at the mess of her cupcakes. "Of course, I have to go to bed and Malfoy gets to have Snape-time"

Astonished that Snape continued to this charade in spite of what it was doing to her, Draco moved closer to her and reached to pat her back. The act caused white palm prints on her navy shirt, but he didn't know what else to do. He frowned at Snape. Shaking his head, sorrowfully, Severus quickly turned and left the room.

"Don't say anything about it" Sarah looked at Draco. "I don't want to talk about it" Her tone was short and Draco didn't press it, but he still slung an arm around her shoulder. "Let's get cleaning up, Black"

Sarah and Draco did clean up the mess and it actually wasn't as much as a punishment as Snape would have liked. Sarah did take a long nap. She didn't understand but her feelings were hurt by how natural things were between Draco and Snape. Snape did love Draco, why didn't he love her? And then she felt ridiculous for being jealous and wanting the affection of a murderer.

She braided her hair and came downstairs for dinner. Draco and Snape were already there. Draco rose and reached to tug at a braid while she passed him. "That takes me back" Draco said, with a small smile. He turned to Snape. "Doesn't it you, Uncle Sev?"

Sarah bit her lip as she slid into her chair. "Don't bother, Draco. Best not remind Snape off all those clearly ghastly times when he had to play Daddy to me...Sorry I'm late"

Snape nodded at her. He passed her the meat and vegetables. Dinner was rather awkward with Draco trying to mediate between the two of them, but Sarah was quiet. When it was finally over, Sarah turned to Snape and asked to be excused.

"After dessert" he told her. Sarah looked at him quizzically, but Wiggles came bounding in with a tray of chocolate cupcakes. "Master said Mistress Sarah wanted cupcakes...he made them himself" she looked quite pleased at her announcement.

"Wiggles" Snape admonished. "Just sit them on the table- and Draco helped"

Sarah stared at the cupcakes, troubled. Snape had made her cupcakes?

"They aren't poisoned if that is what you are worried about" Snape told her, dryly. "Go on"

She met Draco's eyes. "It was Snape's idea" he shrugged and Snape shot daggers at him.

"It was nothing, Sarah" Snape dismissed it. "I grew up in a muggle home, even though my mother-your grandmother-was a witch. We used to bake quite often"

She swallowed hard. She carefully peeled the paper back.

"You didn't tell me you could use those paper things" Draco said, mock offended. "After I had to stick my fingers in all that butter"

Sarah put the paper on the side of her plate. "I must have forgotten" she murmured innocently.

Severus smirked. "Convenient"

Sarah took a bite. It was delicious- even better than she expected. And it reminded her of something. What was it? As she was chewing it, she closed her eyes.

_Her mother's face came to mind, handing her a cupcake. "Here you go, darling" she said, sweetly. Sarah peeled back the paper, kicking her legs in excitement. She took a bite. It was the same. _

Her eyes shot open. Eyes wide, she turned to Snape. "These are mum's cupcakes!"

Snape cleared his throat. "She _was_ my sister, Sarah" he reminded her.

Sarah looked down at the cupcake. They sat in silence for a few moments, Snape and Draco watching Sarah carefully. They could see the struggle clearly upon her face. When she looked up, she mumbled. "Thanks, Uncle Sev"

Snape nodded briskly. "Eat the rest of it, Black" He passed the tray to Draco and he took one took. They ate the rest in silence.

* * *

The next afternoon, Draco and Sarah were hanging out in her room (with the door open of course). Draco had pulled out his potions text to begin writing his potions summer essay. Sarah was flopped on her bed, a novel in her hand.

"Hey, Draco?" She asked, her legs crossed on the bed. "Do you have your other texts with you?"

He turned around. "No, I have already written the others...why?"

Sarah looked concerned. "I didn't think I was going back and I don't have money for books- even if I am only going for a bit. And I can't not turn in summer essays, you know, but time is running out"

Draco was incredulous. "Why haven't you asked Snape already? You have been here a week and you haven't said a word?"

She bristled. "I'm not asking Snape for it" she replied, stubbornly. "Agh" She curled up on her side, her hand to her stomach. The whole situation was made worse by the bad time of the month, which started that morning. She had searched the lavatory high and low for some pain reliever to ease the cramping, but she had come up empty. What started as little twinges had gotten out of control in the two hours to the point where she just didn't want to move. And she would not ask Snape for it. No way.

Draco frowned, concerned. "What's your problem, Black? You look like death"

Sarah's face flamed. They had never gone there before- not even when they were dating. Sure, she was open with Fred about it, but Fred had a sister...and he wasn't as pretentious as Draco. Harry and Ron avoided the topic at all costs.

"It's nothing" she insisted.

Draco sat down his quill. "It's not nothing, seriously,you really look like you don't feel good. Why is your face red?"

Sarah rolled her head over to bury it in her pillow. "Girl stuff" she mumbled. "Go away"

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about, Black" Draco bit back his amusement at her embarrassment."Can't you take anything for it?" he asked as he went to sit beside her on her bed.

"It's usually in the cabinet, but I guess Snape stopped making it when I didn't return this summer"

"But he should have some in his stores" Draco insisted. "Why are you suffering through it when you can take something?"

"I'm not asking him for anything" Sarah rubbed her stomach. "This or books or new robes. I won't do it. I don't want to owe him anything, Draco"

"Merlin, I forgot how unbelievably stubborn you could be" Draco muttered. "Enough is enough..."

He stood up. Gripping his hand around her forearm, he tugged hard, causing Sarah to slide off the bed in a rather undignified fashion.

"Let's go" He held her waist and helped her stand upright.

"Wait" Sarah tried to twist out of his grasp. "He is going to make fun of me"

Draco stopped. "I swear to you that won't happen. Snape doesn't want you miserable"

Sarah bit her lip and still shook her head.

"Sarah, you are acting like a Hufflepuff!" Draco groaned. "Now, _come on_" At her miserable look, he held out his hand. "Here, take my hand"

Sarah paused for a moment before placing her hand firmly in Draco's. He squeezed it and led her downstairs to Snape's study. He knocked on the door and at Snape's allowance, he practically dragged her through the door.

"Hi Uncle Sev, do you have a moment for us?" he asked. Snape was sitting at his desk, parchments scattered around it a quill in his hand.

"What are you doing?" Draco asked.

Snape turned around. "Trying to creating a timetable for the next school year and it is turning to be more difficult than I had anticipated" He frowned at Sarah practically hiding behind Draco. "You alright, Black?" He stood, putting his quill aside and flicking his wand to stack up the parchments.

Draco struggled to drag Sarah in front of him. "Actually, she needs to ask you for something. She doesn't feel good"

"Hum" Snape's frown deepened. He stepped forward. He reached his hand out to feel her forehead, but stopped at the last minute. "May I?"

"I'm not sick" Sarah shuffled, the cramps intensifying with her stress. She moved her hand absently to where it hurt. "Really, it's nothing"

"She doesn't want to ask you for anything" Draco told him. "She doesn't want to owe you anything"

"I see" Snape paused, studying her. He read the situation immediately and with ease. "Why don't you sit down and put your feet up? I'll be right back"

Draco pushed her onto the couch and sat beside her. Sarah glared at him, terribly uncomfortable with the whole situation.

"Don't give me that look" Draco shook his head at her. "You were being ridiculous. You are in pain and Snape has what you need. And you are going to ask him to buy the books for you"

"I am not" Sarah protested, sulkily.

Draco raised an eyebrow. "You are such a child at times, Black. Of course you are- do you want to start that year that way? With detention or worse already?"

Snape came back in the study. He handed her a vial of potion. "I told Wiggles to put the rest in your lavatory. I'm sorry, there should have been some. I wasn't thinking. And I will make more for you"

Sarah bit her lip, curling her legs up on the couch and covering herself with the afghan behind her. "I can help you with that if you'd like"

"I would welcome your help" Snape sat back in his chair. "You have become quite a natural. Go ahead, take it"

"Wow, high praise coming from Snape" Draco settled back on the couch, putting his feet up. "Who would have thought?"

"I have you know I got an Outstanding in my OWL fifth year" Sarah gave him a saucy look and Draco's widened. "_You did_? I had no idea"

"I guess we had broken up for I could tell you that" Sarah emptied the vial and her discomfort glanced at Snape. "How did you know that was it?" she asked.

"It's simple really" Snape's expression was unreadable. "I know _you_, Sarah" He stared again at her. "But that being said, I understand your reluctance to ask me for anything"

Sarah covered her mouth with her fingers, contemplating the situation. "Thank you" she finally said.

"Let me know if you still feel discomfort. I don't want you miserable" He nodded and turned his head towards his desk with a sigh.

"What's wrong with the timetable, Uncle Sev?" Draco asked.

"The Dark Lord wants muggle studies to be required course for all students" he replied, absently.

Sarah snorted. "Why?"

Snape turned his head sharply back towards. "Watch yourself, Black" He paused, deliberating. Flicking his wand, a book came flying in her direction as well as a piece of parchment. "New summer essay topic" he explained.

Sarah frowned and turned to read the description of the book and the essay topic. "This is ludicrous" Her eyes were wide. "We have to take a class about the evils and worthlessness of muggles?" She jumped up, the blanket falling to the floor. Sarah knelt down and picked it up, tossing it behind her. "I _will not_ sit quietly through it while they insist on pursuing this propaganda"

Snape rose quickly too. Gripping her arms, he stilled her. "I dare say you will or you will be one sorry little girl" His voice was low. "This order comes from the Dark Lord himself"

Sarah shuddered. "It's sickening. Hermione is muggle born and she is smartest of everyone in our class. Does he know that?" She gritted her teeth. "What absolute rubbish!"

Sev squeezed her arms. "Just stop and listen to me, Black" he shook her. "If you blatantly flaunt your views on this topic, there will be consequences"

"I'll take them" Sarah grunted as she struggled against him. She grimaced as her cramps intensified at the sudden movement, the potion not quite have taken full effect.

"Be still and listen to me" Snape snapped. "You must choose your battles. The Carrows will not be as generous as I am with you and if they send you to me, I will not be very understanding either"

"Meaning?" Draco spoke up. "What should we expect going back, sir?"

"I have no doubt that the Carrows will use dark magic on students to keep them in line and as much as I loathe that against children, the Dark Lord is allowing it" Snape replied, smoothly, his hands still tight on Sarah's arms. He shook her again to get her attention. "However, for me, I will treat all students like my Slytherins, a method that the Dark Lord approves of as he knows it is effective for me. And I have the permission of the Dark Lord to handle your discipline personally as your guardian, Black"

"Great" Sarah mumbled, remembering her one experience with the loathsome ruler. "My poor hand will never be the same"

"For Merlin's sake" Snape hissed. "Just choose your battles and be prepared for the consequences. But if you go too wild, the Carrows will mention it to the Dark Lord and not even I can save you from him"

Sarah's stomach sunk. She couldn't in good conscious just sit there while they spewed all those lies. But she knew that Voldemort would have something to say about it and that scared her more than she ever thought possible.

"Can you let me go now?" Sarah asked, defeated and Snape abruptly released her. She went back to sit next to Draco, dropping her head in her hands. "I can't do this"

"You will have to try, Sarah" Snape replied, his voice calmer.

Draco patted her back again, giving Snape a pleading look, but Snape still shook his head.

"Now, if there is nothing else you two need, I need to get back to work" Snape told them.

Sarah raised her head and took a shuddering breath. "Can you take me to Dad's vaults at Gringotts, please?" she asked, her voice small.

Snape started, taken aback by the request. "Why?" he asked, a bit incredulously.

"I need money for my school supplies. I don't have any of my books and I do want to do my summer essays" Sarah rubbed her face. "And I think my robes are too short from last year. I have plenty of money in Dad's vault"

"You have more than enough to last you a lifetime" Snape told her. "But you don't have to use it. I'll buy your books tomorrow morning, but I am sorely disappointed in you that you waited this long to ask. Do you not care anything of your future? How good are your essays going to be now that you are against a time crunch?" He asked, scowling.

"Don't you know, Snape?" Sarah stood and hugged her arms against her. "I don't have a future...not anymore" She sighed. "But thank you for buying me my books. I'll pay you back one day"

"That's unnecessary" Snape growled, but Sarah scowled back. "Yes, it is" She left the room and closed the door behind her, leaving Snape with Draco.

"Merlin" Draco rubbed his hand through his hair. "The two of you. Uncle Sev, she needs you. I have never seen her this way"

"Stay out of it, Draco" Snape snapped. "I am doing what I must"

Draco stood. "I'm just afraid that when she learns the truth, it will be too late. She is unraveling at the seams. We are losing her more with every day. One day, the Sarah we love will be gone completely"

"Don't you think I am aware of that?" Snape responded. "I know her better than anything. I see her struggle daily and I would love nothing more than reach out to her right now"

"If that is truly the case" Draco told him, "then you should know that she _cannot_ return to Hogwarts without knowing that she has you on her side-not because of some twisted vow, but because you are her father. She will not survive the Carrows and the Dark Lord without you behind her, supporting her through it" he told him bluntly. "And when she falls apart under the pressure, it will be on your hands"

"You think some cuddles and kind words will fix her?" Snape asked, bitterly.

"Actually, I think it would go a long way into helping her" he opened the door. "Because right now, she has nothing...and she knows it" He went off in search of her.

* * *

True to his word, Snape got her books the next day and Sarah got to work on her summer essays. Four days of hard work behind her, Sarah handed her essays for Snape to inspect. She went back to sit on the couch while Snape read, giving Draco a worried look.

Draco tried to smile reassuringly, but Sarah was still nervous. She knew she shouldn't care, but she did.

Snape looked up. "Why don't you and Draco play a game? This might take a while"

Forty-five minutes later, Draco had solidly beaten her at Wizarding chess, with Sarah unable to concentrate. Snape had laid aside the essays that he finished five minutes previously to watch his godson deliver the final blow.

Sarah turned to him. "Well?" she asked, trying to keep her voice casual.

"I think they more than suffice" Snape told her. "Transfiguration was a bit weaker than the rest, but I doubt Minerva will be too picky with you and your Herbology wasn't your strongest work- I've seen you write better essays in both subjects, but still I think they will be acceptable. Charms and Potions were...well, they will do"

Draco laughed. "That is Snape-code for really good, Black"

"Is it?" Sarah looked at him and held her breath. Snape might be a Death Eater and a killer, but she did value his opinion as a professor. She knew if Snape said it was good, it was really good.

Snape nodded. "Yes" he drawled reluctantly. "Just don't let it go to your head"

"What about your muggle studies, essay?" Draco asked.

Snape's eyes met Sarah's, but Sarah quickly looked away. "I'd like to know about that too. I don't mind reading it for you"

"I'm not sure that is the best idea" Sarah pushed her hands on the ground to rise. "I will take my chances"

Snape rose, towering over her. "I think I must insist, Black" He accoied her essay from her room. "Sit down on the couch and don't say another word"

Knowing she was defeated, she sat down and waited her judgement. The scowl grew significantly more pronounced as time rolled on and Sarah poked Draco. "I'm in trouble" she mouthed and Draco nodded. "Yeah, you are" he mouthed back. "What did you write about?"

Sarah laughed under her breath and leaned over. "The usefulness of muggles throughout history" she whispered in his ear. "And how they have enriched our lives as wizards"

"Bloody hell" Draco cursed back in her ear and Snape shushed them.

Finally, Snape looked up. Turning to Draco, he asked him calmly, "Draco, would you excuse us please?" Although his voice was calm, the scowl was still there and both of them knew that when Snape looked like that, it was never good.

Draco immediately stood, but Sarah grabbed his hand. "No, stay" she begged, not caring how desperate she sounded.

"Not a choice, Black" Snape growled. "You and I need to have a chat..._alone_"

Draco gently untangled his hand. "I'll find you later, Sarah" he patted her back. "Be nice to her, Uncle Sev" he told him.

"Go on with you, Dragon" Snape responded. Draco shut the door and Snape hissed at her. "Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

Sarah crossed her arms, stubbornly. "It is well written, you have to concede that point"

Snape paused and surveyed her demeanor. He swept over to sit next to her on the couch. Turning her face towards him with one finger, he said, "Do not mistake me. It is _extremely_ well written"

To her horror, her heart warmed at Snape's praise. Trying to cover those feelings she turned smug. "There you go" Sarah responded, smugly.

"Watch your attitude" Snape smacked her leg, the bite stinging immediately. "As well written as it is, I will not allow you to turn this in. You may care little for your welfare, but I do"

"What am I supposed to do?" She shrugged, tears springing to her eyes as she rubbed her leg. "I _cannot_ be someone I am not" She hung her head. With each day closer to Hogwarts, she was feeling more and more forlorn.

"You are in a difficult and regrettable situation" Snape raised her head up, but released her when he knew she was paying him proper attention. "But it's in writing, Black. If you turn this in, the Carrows will give it to the Dark Lord and he will take swift and immediate action to" he paused searching for the correct word, "adjust your beliefs"

"So you are saying if I verbally say some of these things, it isn't as bad as having it in writing?" She bit her lip.

Snape frowned. "I don't think you should say these things at all. But having it in writing makes it harder for you to retract if you are in a sticky situation"

"But that's just it" Sarah shrugged again. "I really don't want to retract it. What I wrote in that essay was the _truth_, not some lie your master wants you to believe"

Snape closed his eyes and counted to ten. "You aren't listening to what I am telling you. Whether or not what you believe is true, the Dark Lord is in power now. He is controlling the ministry, the Daily Prophet and Hogwarts. Do you really want to fight with him over some trivial school essay?"

Sarah couldn't deny the logic in it. It was a rather bold and aggressive move. "What will I turn in?" Sarah asked. "I can't write what they want me to"

"You must try" Snape told her. At Sarah's shrug, Snape let out a frustrated groan. "Oh, come on, Sarah. Stop being so damn noble" He snapped. "If you are going into the Snake's den you have to think like one" He took a breath, trying to calm himself. "And if all else fails, have Draco help you"

"Ask Draco to write my essays for muggle studies?" Sarah looked at him like he had grown three heads. Snape encouraging her to cheat?

"I didn't say that" Snape hissed. "All I am saying, is Draco understands how to get around these things. Have him help you word your essay in a way that will please everyone"

"Fine" Sarah grumbled. "Can I at least have it back?"

"No, I don't think so" Snape replied, darkly. He went over and tossed it in the fire. "I don't want it to get into the wrong hands. Now go up to your room for a time out"

Sarah rolled her eyes and without another word, stomped off to her room.

Snape groaned. _Foolish child_. _Bloody Gryffindor_. This next month would be unbearable for both of them- he just hoped he kept her out of trouble enough that she would be in a position to help Potter and not hurt him when she finally joined him on his hunt. But he agreed with Draco's assessment, she was unraveling bit by bit. And with that knowledge, so was his resolve to keep it all from her.

**A/N**: Who really wants Snape to tell her the truth? ME! I keep having to force myself not to slip it in...he is being stubborn for now...What did you guys think of Draco in this chapter? Fred or Draco? Fred or Draco? They both have really good qualities! :) Up next: return to Hogwarts and right away, Sarah is tested.


	21. Return to Hogwarts

**A/N**: Thanks to all who reviewed. Sorry for the delay in the chapter...I don't really know why this took so long to finish! :( You guys overwhelmingly want Snape to tell her the truth...me too! The truth will come out, but it is going to take some more time, I think. As one of you pointed out, Snape does have to be convinced that she _has_ to know...but maybe she will figure it out herself and beat him to it! Let me know what you think of this chapter!

**Chapter 21: Return to Hogwarts**

Snape took Sarah and Draco to Diagon Alley for Sarah to get fitted for new robes and to pick up last minute school supplies. Snape had gone off to place an order to restock some of his personal potion supplies with strict orders to Draco not to leave Sarah alone. With Voldemort's return, Diagon Alley was practically deserted-most only venturing out when necessity dictated. Most people thought it was safer to stay in and not draw attention to oneself. The shops were still open, but with the current climate it would only be a matter of time before some of them had to close. Still, Sarah rolled her eyes at Snape's over-protectiveness (it was kind of sweet when he was playing Daddy, but now it was plain annoying) and when Draco wanted to visit the Quidditch Supply Store, she pushed him in the direction.

"Uncle Sev said..." Draco protested with a hand through his hair in agitation.

"I'll be fine" Sarah insisted, as she held her floral bag on her shoulder. "It's practically deserted here. And I have my wand. Go on. I'll meet up with you in a few minutes"

Draco gave her a weary look, but Sarah pushed him forward. "What can happen? It's the middle of the day" She adjusted her sunglasses and tossed her head. "Plus, I can take care of myself, so go!"

"I'm not taking the fall for this" Draco muttered and Sarah grinned. "Of course not, Malfoy...I wouldn't dream of it"

With a glance back at her, Draco went into the store and Sarah walked further down Diagon Alley. Looking around to make sure no one was looking, she sneaked into the Weasleys shop. Keeping her sunglasses on, she approached the counter where Fred was leaning against it, flipping through a catalog- the store empty.

She put her hands on the counter and leaned over it. "I need some contraband, Mr. Weasley" Sarah whispered, conspiratorially.

Fred dropped his catalog at the sound of her voice, it falling to the floor. He didn't bother to pick it up. Biting back a grin at the sunglasses and the way she was leaning over the counter, he responded seriously, "I think we might be able to oblige" Fred leaned back, his hands drumming the counter behind him. "For what purpose, miss?" he whispered.

"You know in case I get in a bind" She grinned. "And need a quick escape or want to lead a pranking rebellion like my mentor taught me. He was awfully inspirational"

"Was he?" Fred surveyed her, his eyes moving to the top of her scoop necked shirt and then quickly looking around the store, he held out his hand for her. "Let's go into the back and I will see what I can do"

They scurried back to the back supply room and in two seconds, Fred's arms were around her, pushing her against the shelves. "Nice disguise, Sarah, very subtle" He lifted her sunglasses to the top of her head and his mouth met hers, eagerly kissing her.

Pulling apart, she struggled to hold him at arm's length as his mouth moved to her neck. "I'm serious about the contraband. Merlin knows, I will probably need it. And you should sneak some in with Gin"

"Hum" Fred looked around the stock room. "Open your bag" He walked over to a shelf and grabbed arms full of supplies.

"Darkness Powder, Extendable Ears" He began to put them into her bag. "Portable Swap.." He inclined his head, his eyes burning. "Remember that?"

Sarah giggled. "Snape was so pissed. How could I forget?" She kissed him quickly. "What else?"

"Decoy Detonators" he added them to her bag. "And a couple of these: Skiving Snackbox. Even if you don't use them yourself, you could always feed them to the Carrows if you are in a jam...of course, don't give them the antidote" He looked at her bulging back. "Maybe we should shrink and use a concealment charm?"

"Great idea" Sarah stood on her toes to kiss his cheek. "By the way, I'll pay you back for all of this"

"Are you crazy?" Fred waved his wand, shrinking and concealing the goods. "You are my fiancee, I'm not going to send you in there unprepared...especially when you asked soo..." He eyed her. "You were very sexy in your sunglasses, leaning over the counter like that"

Sarah gripped his arms and pulled him closer to her. "I was, was I?" She dropped her bag as Fred pinned her against the shelves again. "I need to get back soon, but lets snog for a bit"

"Oh, Miss Black, you are living on the edge" Fred leaned to whisper in her ear. "I like this side of you"

"It's a war- all sensible things seem to go by the wayside" Sarah gripped his face. "And..." She paused, flustered as Fred started to fiddle with the top of her shirt before sliding his hand inside. "Um" She groaned. "I don't know what I was going to say"

Fred laughed. He loved that he was able to completely distract her with his touch. In response, he kissed her deeply.

* * *

"What do you mean you left her?" Severus growled at his godson, who had to fight to maintain his cool under Snape's scathing stance.

"She is nearly of age" Draco crossed his arms. "And I don't tell her what she can and cannot do" He glared back at him before leaning over to whisper, "And maybe if you told her the truth, she would be more inclined to obey your commands"

"You think?" Severus glared.

"I do" Draco replied evenly.

Snape scowled, before sighing. "Draco, why don't you go across" Snape pointed to a pub, "And buy us three drinks? I will find Sarah and we will join you after" Snape looked determined, the angry glare still across his face, "I set my niece straight"

"Good luck with that" Draco grinned, but followed his orders. After watching him go inside the pub, Snape turned and stared down the street, contemplating where his niece could be. His scowl deepening, his mind settled on one distinct possibility of where she could be. He stalked off in the direction of the Weasleys' shop.

* * *

Sarah gasped for breath- they were allowing things to get out of control so quickly, the intensity of the moment, of the separation, of the forbidden fueling them forward. "We should stop before we go too far. I don't want to lose my virginity on the floor of your storeroom" she kissed his cheek, gently.

Fred closed his eyes tightly and forced his body to still. "That's probably a good idea" he moved his hand from her chest to rest on her neck.

"I must say I have to agree too" Snape's voice echoed through the storeroom, causing Sarah to jump and hit her hip hard against the metal shelf.

"Ouch. Damn it" Sarah rubbed her hip as the things on the shelf rattled and then settled. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Graceful as ever, Black. And not long" Snape's eyes bore into hers. "Just long enough to see Weasley inappropriately have his hand down your shirt" he growled as he swept over to them. "Black, I'm giving you two minutes to say your goodbyes. I'll be waiting outside"

"You know what I am loving right now, Sarah?" Fred turned to her as Snape headed towards the door. "The moral superiority coming from the man who is the cause of my twin brother losing his ear and the Headmaster's death"

Sarah frowned and reached for his arm, squeezing it, trying to calm him down. The last thing they needed was Fred to try to hex Snape right now. Snape turned back around. "It's a war, Weasley. What do you expect? And I am on the other side. If you participate in Order activities, you should be prepared for the consequences"

"You are despicable" Fred shot back. "It's going to come back and bite you in the arse, Snape"

Snape surveyed him evenly. "I have been called worse and I think I will take my chances. Two minutes, Sarah" He turned on his heels and left the room.

Fred took a breath. "How are you living with that bastard?" he asked, hands on her shoulders.

Sarah shrugged. "One day at a time, Fred. And he has been not horrible to me"

Fred grimaced and kissed her forehead. "I guess Snape figured out our little game"

Sarah frowned. "I shouldn't have come. It was risky..."

He kissed her mouth. "I'm glad you did. But no more"

She nodded as she threw her arms around his waist. "I love you, Fred Weasley"

"I love you too" Fred kissed her again and Sarah pulled away. "How is your hip?" He asked seriously.

"I'm sure there will be a nice bruise there in the morning" She responded, reaching to rub it again. "It does smart"

"I would love to kiss it better for you, Sarah" Fred's voice was low.

"I'm sure you would, but I think Snape would be in here if you even try to go near that part of my body" Bending down, she picked up her bag. "Thanks for these. Goodbye Fred" she whispered as she pushed her sunglasses down over her eyes.

She stepped out of the storeroom to where Snape was standing. Leaning over to her, his voice was deceptively calm. "We are going to have drinks with Draco now. Not a word about this. You and I will talk about it when we get home"

"Fine" Sarah grumbled back. "I look forward to hearing your thoughts on that matter..." she muttered, sarcasm dripping from her tone.

"I'm sure you do" Snape responded as he gripped her arm, tightly. "Come"

* * *

"What the hell did you do?" Draco whispered as he apparated with her back to Snape Manor. "Snape is pissed at you" From the moment, he and Sarah arrived at the pub, Draco picked up on the barely contained friction between the two even though when he asked, Snape maintained that things were just fine before Sarah could say otherwise.

"Do you really want to know?" Sarah asked and Draco studied her look. "Were you with Weasley?" he asked, reading her perfectly.

"Snape caught us...oh bother, Draco. This is awkward" Sarah's face reddened and Draco shook his head, wearily. "That is a dangerous game, Sarah. You are already deceiving the Dark Lord with whatever plans you have with Potter. So, are you two still engaged?" He steadied her as she began to sway from the apparition.

"Draco, I don't want to hurt you" she whispered. "I care about you"

Draco reached and touched her face with his fingers. "I know that, Black" He kissed her cheek. "We're friends, remember?" He swallowed hard, "So what was Weasley doing to you" he growled, "that pissed Snape off so much?"

"Draco, a girl never kisses and tells" Sarah reminded him, "unless you are Pansy Parkinson"

Draco rolled his eyes. "You are still stuck on that?"

Sarah shrugged as Snape came behind them. "Black, go to your room and I will be up there in a few minutes"

With another disgruntled glance at Draco, Sarah obeyed, leaving Snape and Draco alone in the foyer. "So, Sarah and Weasley?" Draco asked his godfather, following him down the hall and into his study.

Snape frowned, looking behind him at his godson's white face. "She told you?"

Draco shook his head. "No, I guessed and she confirmed. What were they doing?"

"Would you like me to tell Sarah what you and Pansy did last year?" he asked, quietly as he reached to pour himself a drink. "Trust me, Draco, you don't want the details...especially from me"

Draco shuddered. "They haven't had sex yet, have they?"

"That's really none of your business, Draco" Snape took a sip of his whiskey, allowing the liquid to relax him and erase the memory of Weasley's hand down his daughter's shirt, groping her. "Plus, you really want to stand in judgement?"

"It's just" Draco sunk down on the sofa. "The thought of Sarah and Weasley having sex...I know it shouldn't, but it bothers me"

"Then you need to tell her" Snape replied, "before it is too late"

"But I'm a Death Eater and..." Draco put his head in his hands. "Merlin, I still love her...it kills me"

Snape put his drink down. "I don't think Sarah sees you as merely a Death Eater. She has always seen past both of our faults-or she used to with me. She is like her mother in that ability" His voice trailed off as he thought about his sister. Sighing, he stood. "But I will tell you this, if you don't speak up, she will marry Weasley. I can't promise that she will leave him, but at least you know you would have done all you could. Now, if you would excuse me, I need to have a conversation with my niece"

"I don't envy Sarah right now" Draco mumbled.

Snape chuckled at his expression. "Glad to know I can still create fear in you children- I was wonder if you would get to a certain age and just totally disregard my opinions"

"I don't think so, I think I will be forty and you will still make me feel like I'm eleven, Uncle Sev" Draco retorted.

"For some reason, I'm glad of that" Snape folded his hands in front of him. "Stay here. Maybe floo call your mother. She has been asking for another call. I'll be back soon" he told him, before leaving to go see his niece.

* * *

Sarah shrugged off her jacket and threw it on the bed. How could Snape still possibly make her feel like she was a child? Didn't he understand that she was almost of age? Didn't he know that he lost the right to make her feel this way the minute he killed the Headmaster and told her it was all a lie? Yet, when he caught her with Fred, her stomach had twisted in knots and made her feel like she had committed a crime or a major lapse in judgement. It made her feel regret that she had disappointed Snape. Where does he get off acting that way?

Sarah stomped into the lavatory and washed her face. Wiping it with a towel, she stared in the mirror. Dark circles shadowed her eyes. The nightmares were beginning again since her encounter with Voldemort. While she had managed to keep it a secret from Snape and Draco, she knew it probably was only a matter of time before she lost it completely She wondered how Harry, Hermione and Ron were fairing. She thought about them daily- wanting to be with them, facing whatever was to come. But instead she was stuck here, forced to play nice with Death Eaters. Granted, she liked Draco being here. They had seemed to picked up their friendship immediately and in spite of his status, she did trust him. It was all quite confusing! She brushed rapidly through her hair before throwing it back down on the sink.

She heard a knock on the door. "Come in" she called from the lavatory and Snape came in, his face grim. Sarah's stomach twisted again and she fought annoyance at herself for being so weak.

"Hi" she walked back over to her bed and retrieved her jacket. Walking over to her closet, she hung it up. She closed the doors and went to sit down on her bed, taking off her shoes and getting up again to throw them back in her closet.

Snape sat on her bed, his arms crossed, watching her with amusement. She was irritated and worried- he could read her agitation right away. But as he watched Sarah go and organize her desk, he thought he should probably not let her suffer any further. Standing up, he came behind her to grip her arm. "Enough, Sarah. Be still"

Sarah stilled immediately. "I don't know what you mean" she refused to turn around and look at him, instead looking on the papers on her desk.

"Oh" Snape responded, innocently. "In the 6 years that I have been your guardian, you have never been keen on cleaning your room. Usually I have to force you to do so. You must be really disturbed to do so. I wasn't aware that you still cared"

"Care?" Sarah laughed as she went to plop on her bed, crossing her legs. "It's not that I care- if anything, it's more about old habits"

"Regardless" Snape sat beside her. "You were undoubtedly foolish today"

"I'm in love" Sarah shrugged, stretching out her legs. "I doubt you know much about that but when two people love each other, they do this thing..."

"Love?" Snape raised an eyebrow. "Is that why you let Weasley feel you like some common..." He stopped himself not wishing to damage further their already tenuous relationship. "What I saw today, Sarah Grace was not love-lust maybe. If you loved him, you would have never gone there in the first place"

"Don't call me that" She snapped at him.

"Call you what?" Severus responded slowly, not sure of what she was angry about.

Sarah shrugged and looked at her comforter, trying to maintain her not caring attitude, but suddenly finding it much harder.

"You are upset that I called you by your name?" Severus asked, incredulously. In truth, it had slipped out, but her offense at it, surprised him. "Not by what I said? Why would that upset you?"

"That's enough" Sarah growled, her eyes growing wide at Snape catching her caring. "We are not talking about that or what you said about Fred. I can do whatever I want with him. And I'm not going to feel guilty about it. He is my fianc..." Sarah covered her mouth, dismayed at her lack of discretion around Snape.

Snape just shook his head, suddenly becoming quite tired of it all. The toll of balancing this act around his adopted daughter while trying to guide her through it all was wearing on him.

"You are being ridiculously careless. Really, you are smarter than this" Snape chided, his eyes on her. "As for Weasley, you can have sex with him. I know it is probably leading there, but you should remember that every action has a consequence-some which are unforeseen. If you choose to go there, I will not rescue you from them"

"I'm not seeing him again" Sarah frowned, before shifting uncomfortably under Snape's stern stare. "You aren't going to tell...you know about it?"

"I think not" Snape stood up. "And let him wonder what else you are deceiving him with when he has thought that you are being a good little girl and abiding his wishes? But if I am going to continue to protect you, stop taking these unnecessary risks"

Sarah stared at her bedspread before raising her eyes to meet Snape's. "Why not take these risks, Snape? I'm not going to survive this war. I might as well have some moments of happiness before it all ends"

Snape turned away from her and closed his eyes tightly. How could he help her when she was becoming self-defeating? When he turned back, he offered her the only piece of advice that came to mind, "Don't you still aspire to anything? Not too long ago, you wanted to become a professor"

Sarah bit her lip. "I don't know any more. I really don't think that will be possible"

"Your caliber of work in various disciplines speak otherwise" Snape retorted. "As bleak as things seem, don't give up your dreams, Sarah. Nobody would want that- not your mother or father..."

"Or you?" Sarah challenged, her eyes heated.

"Especially not me" Severus replied. "I put too much effort into you for you to become a disappointment..."

"I think I will always be a disappointment to you, Uncle Sev" Sarah whispered. "I was destined to that from the moment that you told my mother yes...you never gave me the chance not to be"

The truth of her words hit their mark. He knew the pain he was causing her- all of this could have been prevented. Unable to validate her thoughts, he skirted the topic. "Yes, well...behave from now on" Severus turned away from her again and walked swiftly towards her door. He couldn't just leave her to think that, could he? Stopping suddenly, he turned back around and sat down on her bed.

"I really wish" he said slowly, "that you would stop seeing my faults as a reflection of you"

"I wasn't good enough for you to love" Sarah shrugged, before slumping her shoulder, her hair falling in her face. "It's the truth" she mumbled.

Snape reached to gently push the hair out of her face before pushing it up, forcing her to meet his gaze. "It's the darkness in me, Sarah. It's the same darkness the aligns myself with the Dark Lord, that caused me to kill a man who was my friend...it's never been your fault"

"I just don't understand what you mean" Sarah looked at him, wearily. "Tell me what is going on"

"It's simply this: I don't wish to see you broken" Snape gripped her chin. "especially because of my inadequacies" He stood and walked to her door again. Turning back, he told her, "But running to Weasley to make it better won't actually make you feel better about everything that has happened. A husband is not meant to replace a shoddy father"

Sarah closed her eyes, unable to respond for in a way, she knew he was right. She drew closer to Fred once Snape had abandoned her. It was a quick fix to make her feel cherished and loved, but only a bandage covering the real problem.

Snape added, trying to ignore her stricken look. "You need to begin packing your trunk for school. Shall I send Draco up to keep you company?"

Sarah nodded, unable to speak.

"And I think 300 more lines of "I will think before I act and evaluate the risk" would be adequate penance for your transgressions today, don't you agree?" his voice turned stern.

Sarah covered her face, but nodded through her hands and satisfied that she had heard him, Snape left the room, so wishing he had handled this differently from the start.

* * *

The platform at 9 and 3/4 was busy as usual with parents and kids running around with their luggage, saying their last minute goodbyes. Sarah and Draco had separated when Snape dropped them off, discussing the night before the need to use discretion in regards to their newly renewed friendship.

"Sarah Black!" Mrs. Weasley found her and threw her arms around her, pulling her into an enormous hug. "We have been so worried. But here you are safe and sound, though looking a bit peaky"

"Nerves, I suppose" Sarah muttered and Molly eyed her sympathetically. "Remus told us what happened. You poor dear" she clucked.

"Sarah" Mr. Weasley patted her back as Molly wasn't relinquishing her hold anytime soon. "Just don't take any unnecessary risks. It is more important than ever that you behave...as well as the others don't' do anything to draw attention to yourselves"

"I will be careful" Sarah assured him. "And I will watch out for Ginny"

"We know you will, dear child" Molly squeezed her one more time, before releasing her. "Ginny is already on the train. Go find her. Stick by your friends, Sarah. You can't go wrong there" She handed her a package. "Some treats for the train and an extra jumper. I didn't know if Snape would have taken you shopping. It's pink, your favorite colour"

"Thank you" Sarah whispered. "Be careful yourself"

Mr. Weasley put his arm around Molly. "Don't you worry about us. We will be fine. Off you go" With one last look, Sarah left them. But as she was headed towards the train, she bumped into someone, who shoved something in her hand.

Not being able to see the person in the crowded platform, Sarah slid the piece of parchment in her pocket before stepping up onto the train. Going down the aisle, she finally heard, "In here, Sarah"

Sarah looked up to see Neville's smiling face as he reached to pull her in the compartment. "Let me help you with your bags" He took them from her and secured them overhead and Sarah thought for a moment how well and grown up and handsome Neville was looking these days. The awkward stage seemed to pass him by over the summer holidays. She met Luna's eyes and she winked as if she could read her mind.

"Come sit here, Sarah" Ginny patted the seat next to her and Sarah slid in by her as the train lurched to a start.

"How are you?" Neville asked, his eyes on her. "Grams told me the rumors of your capture" He paused, before asking, "Are they true?"

"Pretty much" Sarah replied, twisting her hands. "But I'm fine, really..."

"Is that why you are here...and not" Luna's voice turned to a whisper, "with Harry?"

Sarah glanced at Ginny, exhausted by it already. "Wait a second" she whispered. "We need silencing and privacy charms" She stood and began to ward the compartment. Once satisfied, she sat back down. "I'm here because the you-know-who threatened me and the ones I care about if I didn't come...but I'm not with Harry because I'm not yet of age. But when I am..."

The others nodded and smiled, understanding completely. Of course, Sarah would join the others-they were practically inseparable their six years at Hogwarts. "In the meantime, things are going to get bad at Hogwarts. We need to be prepared"

"Should we call a DA meeting?" Neville asked.

"I'm not sure if we should do that right away" Sarah responded, readjusting her headband. "We have to read the climate better first. See who we can trust and who we can't...because right now, the only people I trust completely with the truth at Hogwarts...well, mostly...are sitting right in this compartment"

"I agree" Luna said, dreamily. "After all, you thought you could trust Professor Snape and..."

"Luna" Ginny admonished, glaring at her, but Sarah waved her off. "No, she's right, Gin"

Neville rose. "Luna, I think I want something from the trolly. Want to come?"

"Sure" Luna responded. "Gin?"

Ginny stood up. "Yeah, I think I might want to stretch...Sarah?"

Sarah reached to pull money out of her pocket. "Actually, I need to look at something. Would you mind buying me a drink- I don't care what"

Ginny took the money. "Sure, are you ok?"

Sarah smiled. "I'm fine, really. I'll wait here for you guys to get back" She nodded, encouragingly as the others left.

Once the others had left, Sarah pulled out the note from her pocket and unfolded the piece of parchment:

_Dear Sarah,_

_As you know, my son has communicated with me throughout his stay at Snape Manor. He tells me of the struggle between you and Severus as well as the discouragement you feel headed to Hogwarts. I know I would be greatly punished for writing this to you, but I know that you have saved my son's life once before and know that you continue to do so through your friendship with him. I owe you a great debt and that is why I'm writing- I wish you to succeed in whatever you put your mind to. _

_The Carrows are evil incarnate and have little remorse. They will take great joy in casting unforgivables or making you to do so, especially if you are openly defiant. Choose when to speak and when to remain silent. Volunteer for demonstrations of lessor curses and then they will be less apt to force you to volunteer for the more unforgivable ones. Show them the strength behind your written work, but when confronted with unforgivables, there are ways to make your spells less powerful. Learn to moderate them and encourage your classmates in your game-especially considering they will pair you against your friends, not your foes. You tell Draco you must not compromise your morals and you think that it is hopeless, but if you apply your mind to it, you will see that there is quite a bit of hope left for you. But you must think unconventionally-yes, Sarah dear, like a Slytherin. _

_Speaking of Slytherin, I feel I should warn you that the houses are being disbanded and that only one will remain- you can guess what that may be...I want you to be prepared lest you create a scene at the Opening Feast. _

_Finally, about your uncle. I urge you to sort through your memories logically. You are too wrapped up in the present, but I want you to examine the past. I read in the paper of what Dumbledore left you in his will. Use it. You will see what I mean once you do so. _

_This note will self destruct once you read the final line. It has been charmed for your eyes only. I must protect my position and yours too. All the best,_

_Narcissa Malfoy_

The note dissipated before her eyes, leaving Sarah thoroughly confused. Maybe Andromeda was right- there was more to Narcissa Malfoy than met the eye.

* * *

The feast was delicious as usual, but Sarah only managed to pick at her food, wedged between Ginny and Neville. She couldn't help but feel a bit lost without Harry, Hermione and Ron. They were her steady companions through everything and now they were off hunting horcruxes and she was stuck here. Snape was giving the welcome speech, announcing the disbanding of the houses except for the House of Slytherin. She could barely stomach what he was saying- how it was a time to come together as one house and under one purpose. It was all quite sickening, though she found it heartening that while first years would be divided evenly between dormitories, for the most part that upperclassmen would remain under their current rooming assignments. She continued to absently play with her food, twirling her fork around her plate, making a design with her mashed potatoes. At all costs, she was trying to appear disinterested in what Snape was saying, but basically, Sarah interrupted it like this: for simplicity things would remain organized the same although they were all supposed to be Slytherins now. The Heads would remain the same and responsible for the same group of students, but points would be added and subtracted only from Slytherin. Slughorn was taking over charge of the Slytherin dormitories. Really, nothing had changed- it was all a load of rubbish. It really didn't even make sense. Snape's speech ended and pudding was served.

Sarah felt a tap on her shoulder. She looked up to find Professor McGonagall addressing her, with Professor Slughorn nearby.

"Miss Black" McGonagall looked livid, but she knew it wasn't directed towards her. "A word, please"

Sarah looked at Ginny and Neville who gave her a small smile. She stood and she followed them outside the dining room.

"Is something wrong?" Sarah asked, absently tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear. Her gaze moved from McGonagall to Slughorn, wondering what her two professors wanted with her.

"There is no easy way to put this, Sarah" Minerva said in her brisk manner that Sarah was used to from her head, "but our new...Headmaster" she choked on the words, "has decided to move you from the Gryffindor dormitories...or should I say former Gryffindor dormitories into the Slytherin ones"

Dismay hit her as she tried to process what McGonagall was telling her. Snape was moving her to Slytherin? Anger swelled up in her. _No way- he wouldn't_. This not only affected her rooming, but also her class schedule as well. She looked at Professor Slughorn who had the good graces to look perturbed and a bit sheepish. While he was glad to get to know Sarah Black better as her new Head, he knew that Minerva and probably Sarah were livid. And all of this was really quite unprecedented.

Sarah tried to even her breathing and come to a point when she could respond without yelling. After all, it wasn't McGonagall's fault. Her throat felt dry. She cleared it, "Are there other changes for the returning students?"

McGonagall pursed her lips. "No, there are not"

Sarah gritted her teeth as she turned to Professor Slughorn. "I want to see Snape. Will you allow me to do that?"

"Of course. We will get you settled in Slytherin house and then I will take him to you myself" Horace replied, patiently. "But do be reminded to call him Headmaster Snape, especially in front of the Carrows"

"Even if he is a murderer, Sarah,we must show proper respect" McGonagall retorted and Sarah rolled her eyes.

"Can I go back to sitting where I was at least?" she asked, trying to keep herself calm.

"Of course" McGonagall replied. "After all, there are no such things as Houses now. I dare say you can sit where you like"

"Thank you" She smiled at her Head...or former Head. "I'm sorry, Professor"

"Oh, child" McGonagall shook her head, wearily. "While I'm glad to see you as always, I'm sorry for what you are coming back to. Severus has been waiting for the day to take you from Gryffindor, but no matter what that despicable man says, you will _always_ be my lion, do you understand?" She patted her arm as Sarah nodded her implications. McGonagall was behind her and would help her when the need arose.

"I'm also here to help, Sarah" Slughorn added. "At times like these, we must stick together"

"Thank you" Sarah left them in the hall and returned to her table. "What was that about?" Ginny asked her.

"Snape is moving me in with the Slytherins" Sarah whispered to her and Neville.

"That's bloody unfair" Neville responded, shaking his head in dismay. "First, the houses and now he is moving you? Why?"

"He is trying to control me. He thinks that if I am around Zambini and Malfoy, I won't be able to lead a rebellion" Sarah clasped her hands together, twisting them in agitation. "But if I wasn't sure before, I'm sure now. We need to call a meeting of the DA and quickly. Neville, can I depend on you to help organize and gather everyone together and then find a way to let me know what is going on?"

"Absolutely" he assured her, before whispering. "But are you going to be ok?"

Sarah nodded. "I don't think they will try to kill me in my sleep or anything...don't worry" But truth be told, she was worried herself. Very worried.

**Up Next**: Sarah in Slytherin..& she lashes out at Snape over his choice for her...might there be screaming involved? Is she right about his reasoning for moving her? Did you guys like the twist?


	22. Into the Dungeons

**A/N: **Sorry again for the wait, but here you go. Real life lately...Let me know what you think!

**Chapter 22: Into the Dungeons**

The students dispersed from the opening feast quickly after pudding. They were eager to go back to their dorms and discuss the events of the opening feast-especially the concept of no houses. Sarah grabbed her bag and pushed her way through the crowds to where Draco was commanding his Slytherin prefects to take the students back to the dormitory.

"Draco" she caught his wrist and he stepped back with her. "I need you"

The masses were flowing out of the hall, pushing against them and Draco grunted as the crowd propelled Sarah into him, almost knocking them over. Managing a peek at her pale face, he dislodged her arm, grabbed her hand and pulled her out into the hallway and in the opposite direction of the students.

"What is it?" he asked, when he was assured of her privacy. He was still close against her. "I have my duties as Head Boy..."

"I know, I'm sorry to bother you, and I know we said we would keep our distance so I feel really bad about it but" Sarah bit her lip so hard she tasted blood. "Snape put me in Slytherin"

She heard his sharp intake of breath. "But I thought there was to be no changes for returning students"

"And there are not" Sarah shook her head as she hugged herself. There was a chill in the air or maybe she was just frightened. "Except me. My trunks are already being delivered to the Slytherin dorm. What am I going to do? I'm hated in there. I can't do this" She swiped at her tears. "why is he making me do this?"

Draco studied her. He saw her evident distress and her fear at going into a situation where she wasn't wanted and sometimes more often than naught, even despised. She looked shattered and out of sorts. And she did have a right to be-the Slytherins would not be happy and could be cruel and devious when the occasion arose. While some of them were sympathetic towards Sarah, most of them just saw her as the best friend of Harry Potter and a fierce Gryffindor rival- and that did not recommend herself well to them.

"You need to face this head on. Don't fall apart-not now" Draco rubbed the back of her neck, trying to easy her tension. While she stiffened initially at his touch, she almost immediately relaxed as she leaned forward and dropped her head on his shoulder.

His voice was soft and comforting, "Stand up for yourself, but not in a way that puts us down. To tell you the truth, there are people in Slytherin who do like you, although they aren't apt to admit it. But regardless, you have to trust me. I'll not going to let them bully you, Sarah. But you have to let me protect you the way I know best"

Her heart swelled at his sweet words, but then guilt followed in furry, taking hold of her.

"I have no right to even ask for protection" She whispered, pulling away from him.

"Quiet" Draco put a finger to her lips. "Don't be ridiculous. You have every right. I don't care if you are married with 10 children, you can always ask me for help. Let's go" He took her arm and led down the steps to the dungeons. On the way, he asked her about Snape.

"I'm going to confront him" Sarah told him. "After I unpack"

"Try not to curse too much, Black" Draco winked at her. "The soaping is really disgusting-not at all worth it"

Sarah giggled, the effect lightening her mood. "Ladies don't curse, Malfoy, but this time I might make an exception- or several in fact...and it will be well worth it, believe me!"

He chuckled at her and they fell silent the rest of the way. Professor Slughorn met them outside the portrait hole. "Oh good, there you are. Inside, please. I will make the announcement once in there. Ready?"

Sarah took a breath and Draco's hand brushed against hers. "She is" he replied. They entered the portrait hole and Sarah practically shrunk behind Draco, her face flushed. Her actions only confirmed to him how much this summer had changed her- in alot of ways, had broken her. She was more reserved, cautious. The Gryffindor bravery was still there, but it was masked by the harshness of reality.

Slughorn raised his voice. "Slytherins, if I may have your attention, please" The crowd grew quiet as Sarah felt every eye on her. Her heart lurched in anxiety, but then she forced herself to clear her mind. Her expression was now impassive, however, others were not.

"What is _she_ doing here?" Pansy hissed, as she twisted her prefect badge.

"I was just getting around to that" Slughorn replied, sharply. "I would like all of you to welcome the new first year students as well as Sarah Black, who has been assigned to live in the Slytherin dormitories. I trust that you will treat each other with respect and with honor to the code of Slytherin House"

"But she is not a Slytherin" Theodore Nott spoke up, loudly. "A Gryffindor in here...among us?" Several students sneered along with him.

"Might I remind you of our Headmaster's wishes? There is only one house and that is Slytherin. So, in that sense, she is a Slytherin. I trust you to accept it and move on. Now a bit of house business" Slughorn went on to tell them that their timetables would be available tomorrow morning before breakfast and that he wanted them to spend tonight unpacking. Lights out at 9:30 for first and second years, 10:30 for everyone else. Sarah barely could register what he was saying, she still felt the animosity surrounding her. Slughorn dismissed the meeting and took his leave, not before telling her that he would meet her outside in a half an hour to head to the Headmaster's office.

After Slughorn left, the students milled around the room, as if waiting for an explosion. Several of the seventh year students stepped towards her- Crabbe, Goyle, Nott, Zambini, Pansy, Millie, Daphne Greengrass and Tracey Davis.

"What are you playing at, Black?" Blaise asked her.

Sarah was taken aback by Blaise's question. Did the others really think she asked for this?

"Do you think I would choose to come to a place where people hate me so much?" Sarah's voice wobbled a bit, before evening out. "But these days, Snape's will is law and you know how he likes to torment me. I'm afraid you all are stuck with me for a bit. I won't bother anyone"

"You really would have us to believe that you won't do anything when we least expect it?" Pansy laughed. "Oh come off it! Why are you even here-not off with your precious Potter? We all know how much you adore that fool"

Sarah stood taller. "I am here because the Dark Lord ordered me to be here. If you have a problem, take it up with him" She stepped forward to leave, but Pansy blocked her.

Pansy narrowed her eyes as the others shifted uncomfortably at the mention of Voldemort's wishes. "And since when did _you_ proclaim allegiance to the Dark Lord?"

"I don't" Sarah responded. quietly. "I'm just not so foolish as to cross him over this. You all should know more than anybody what happens to those that do" She looked around at the others. "What would have done? Gone into hiding with friends and risked his retaliation upon them if he found out? If he wants me here, then I owe it to my friends to obey. Otherwise, the consequences for them might be deadly. I'm not that selfish" Her voice grew louder and more forceful. "_Now, step aside, Parkinson_"

Sarah and Pansy faced off at a standstill. The rest were quiet at Sarah's announcement and their respect of her grew slightly. Finally Blaise spoke, "Let her go, Pansy. We aren't getting anywhere. We will figure this out later"

Pansy turned to him in shock and Sarah took the opening and pushed her aside before leaving the crowd, not realizing she had no idea where she was going. She just knew she had to get away from them. And part of her was hurt that Draco didn't try to intervene. He had told her that he wouldn't let anyone bully her, but he would do it in his own way. She supposed this was his own way. She did trust him to do so though, even if deep down she wished he had told Pansy off right then and there.

"You always did have a soft spot for her, Blaise" Pansy admonished him.

Blaise huffed and Draco cleared his throat. "Listen, I don't like this either, but she is right about one thing. The Dark Lord has taken a particular interest in her. He made me watch as he tortured her for information and when it ended, he commanded her attendance and her compliance once here. And with Snape as Headmaster, I don't think she will cause trouble"

"He tortured her?" Millie whispered and the other girls frowned as well. Draco nodded sharply. "We all know how powerful he is. She is lucky to be alive"

"But she is Potter's blasted sidekick...why would the Dark Lord care about her being here?" Pansy demanded. "Why not kill her and be done with it?"

"Pansy!" Daphene chided. "What a horrid thing to say even if she is a Gryffindor!"

"She is a pureblood" Blaise offered. "You know how he feels about blood lines"

"We all are-practically" Nott responded, with an eye towards Tracey. "No, I think it is because he likes the way she looks" he concluded smugly.

Draco's eyes bugged at that. "Watch it, Nott"

"Why?" Theodore responded, "You've made it clear that you think that she is attractive-and I happen to agree with you. Why wouldn't the Dark Lord think so? Isn't that why Bellatrix is so apt to kill her?"

"Eww" Tracey gagged. "He is old enough to be her grandfather practically"

"Excuse me" Millie responded as she went off in search of Sarah, leaving the others to continue discussing the situation.

Sarah was standing against the wall of the hallway when Millie found her. "Lost?" she asked.

"I just kind of rushed off, not realizing I had no idea the layout of the dorm" she admitted, with a small smile.

"It was a good exit" Millie smiled back. "This way..." she led her down another set of steps and down a hall and pushed open a door.

"The lavatory is down the end of the hallway" Millie told her as they stepped into the room. Sarah was greeted by a room with several beds adorned in Slytherin colours.

"Here is my trunk" Mille sat and bounced on the bed. "Where's yours?"

Sarah breathed a sigh of relief. "Next to yours...but where is Pansy's?"

Millie pointed across the room. "There. See, don't worry so. You'll be fine, but we better unpack"

Sarah looked at her watch. "I have to meet Professor Slughorn outside in 10 minutes"

"Why is that?" Millie asked, curiously.

"I need to have a conversation with Snape" she replied grimly, as she unzipped her robe, tossing it on her bed.

"Oh, be careful" Mille advised. "Professor Snape is not one to quarrel with, especially now he is Headmaster. You do know his code of discipline?"

Sarah raised an eyebrow. "He has been my guardian for the past 6...almost 7 years...still is, even"

Mille frowned. "But he despises you...no offense or anything"

"None taken" Sarah assured her. "One would think he wouldn't bother with the discipline, but it was part of his vow to my mother. So I am well aware of what happens"

"And you are still going to see him?" Millie asked. "You are a bloody Gryffindor"

Sarah chuckled as she knelt down beside her trunk, opening it up. "I need a jumper, I think" She ruffled through to find a pink sweater and pulled it over her head. Bending down, she sorted through her trunk until she found a pink headband and put it in her hair. Tugging at the ends, she sighed. "I haven't had a cut in ages and it looks like I won't be able to"

"It looks rather pretty long" Millie raised an eyebrow. "Does Malfoy like it long?"

"Of course, Draco likes hair long" Pansy huffed. They turned to her in surprise, not realizing she had entered, along with Daphne and Tracey. "He loves my hair. He finds it quite arousing..."

"That's none of my business- what body parts of yours he gets turned on by...but if I know Draco, I'm sure it is not simply your hair" Sarah pulled out her pajamas and tossed them on the bed. "I'll have to unpack later"

"Stay away from him, Black" Pansy stepped forward and grabbed her arm. "I won't have some bitch come in and steal him from me"

Sarah fought the urge to roll her eyes. "I have no intention of stealing anyone" She jerked herself out of her grasp and walked over to the opened door, but stopped and turned around. "Draco doesn't like nasty girls, Pansy. Maybe you should work on that and he would find you more appealing"

"I don't need help from you" Pansy spat at her in disgust.

"Oh really?" Sarah shrugged. "Draco was at Snape's for weeks this summer and he didn't mention you once. Yes, I would say you do need my help. But then what would I know? I've only been his friend since first year" She smiled at them, "Goodnight ladies"

"Wait" Millie stood up and retrieved Sarah's robe from her bed. "You need this"

"Why?" Sarah stilled, staring at her outstretched hand incredulously.

"You are meeting with the Headmaster of Hogwarts, Black. Snape was always a stickler for proper decorum when he was our head. Just take your robe" She wiggled it in front of her.

"Oh, bother" Sarah muttered. She took it and put it on. Zipping it up, she added, "Thanks, Millie" She left them alone to hear the girls arguing about how civil they need to be towards her. She just hoped they didn't give Millie too hard of a time for being nice to her.

* * *

"I'll just leave you here" Slughorn stood with her at the bottom of the stairs. "He is expecting you. Good luck, Sarah"

"Thank you sir" She replied as he began the twisting assent to the Headmaster's office. Taking a breath, she steeled her nerves. She wasn't in the wrong here. Snape was and she was going to make him see it if it was the last thing she did. She knocked on the door.

"Enter"

Sarah pushed open the heavy door and practically glided into the room, with a confidence she didn't know where it was coming from. The anxiety from the past hour, all at Snape's hands had taken its toll. The result ironically caused her to feel rather empowered in her moral superiority-or maybe simply reckless.

Her eyes sparked. "Good evening, Uncle Sev. Miss me? We have been apart practically for the whole day and I know how you so love to control my every move" She gritted her teeth as she glared at him.

Snape stood and looked her over. He rubbed his finger against his bottom lip absently as he watched her. "You are wearing your robes" he commented dryly. "Clearly, my choice has been effective so far- the Slytherins are a good influence"

"CLOTHING! THIS ISN'T ABOUT CLOTHING!" She stepped forward, her hands swinging at her side. "And your choice?" Sarah's anger continued to spiral out of control. "WHAT ABOUT MY CHOICES? WHAT ABOUT THE LONG STANDING TRADITION THAT THE HAT CHOOSES THE HOUSE? I'M A GRYFFINDOR, NOT A BLOODY SLYTHERIN" Her volume grew until it reached a loud crescendo.

She lowered her head for a moment, trying to control her temper, but then realized she didn't want to. She snapped her head up, her eyes lit with furry. She continued to explode at him, her words railing against him, her voice loud and sharp- louder than most would dare to speak in front of the Headmaster and especially now that the Headmaster was Snape.

"You have said time and time again that you agree with that decision- that I am a Gryffindor through and through. Regardless, you said you weren't changing houses for people" her voice grew louder still, "YET WHY IS MY STUFF IN THE SLYTHERIN DORM AS WE SPEAK? WHY ARE YOU TORTURING ME? THEY HATE ME! I DESERVE BETTER THAN WHATEVER CURRENT SICK, TWISTED GAME YOU ARE PLAYING WITH ME NOW!"

Snape swept over to her and reached for her arm, his grip tight and painful. He shook her slightly. "Control your temper, now" he growled.

"NO!" she yelled. "It's too late for that. You control your fucking need to control everything...!"

"You need to calm down and watch the way you are speaking to me, right now, Black. I'm Headmaster of the institution and that deserves respect" his voice was low, but Sarah knew she had sparked his temper as well. She didn't care how mad he got- he had no right to do this to her and get away with it.

Sarah laughed loudly. "You are only Headmaster because you killed Dumbledore and Voldie rewarded you. And you already are doing a shitty job! No houses? What the hell are you thinking? Dumbledore was a good Headmaster- caring and kind and you are already a failure. That speech was _ridiculous_."

Snape grunted at her, his expression stormy. "Let's go" He pulled her with him, dragging her towards a door. Sarah tried to fight the motion, but Snape was so much stronger than her. She reached her free hand into her robes, but Snape barked, "Don't even think about it. You don't want to get in a dueling match with me, little girl"

"Where are we going?" she continued trying to pull away, but Snape held her firmly in his grasp.

"To my quarters. I'm continuing this conversation as your guardian, not your Headmaster"

"Why would you want to do that?" she protested still.

"Because I am moments away from expelling you and we can't have that, can we?" He shook her again. "Now stop fighting me or I will restrain you and carry you there myself"

Sarah stopped immediately. "You wouldn't dare expel me"

"Oh really?" Snape raised an eyebrow. "I always though the Headmaster was way too soft when it came to you and Potter. I would have expelled you ages ago. And the arrogant, conceited, ill-mannered, disrespectful display you just exhibited would be enough for even saintly Dumbledore to lose his temper with you"

"I would never speak to Dumbledore in that way" Sarah tossed her head. "He deserved my respect"

"Don't push me, Black. I'm not a patient man" Snape retorted.

"Then why don't you just do it already?" Sarah asked him. "It was save me, and I daresay you alot of trouble this next month"

"Really?" Snape asked, his eyes narrowing. "You forget that you are under orders from the Dark Lord himself to come here and behave. I'm not turning you over to his wrath the first night back. And I'm not claiming defeat that I cannot bring you under control. But if we stay in this room as Headmaster and student, you will leave me no choice. I will not put up with this kind of behavior for any student, especially you"

"I don't want to go to your quarters" her lip began to quiver as her anger deflated a bit.

"We will talk about _that_ when we get there. Now, not another word or I will not hesitate to use magic to silence you" he eased her grip on her arm when she stopped fighting him. He led the way to a door adjacent to the Headmaster's office, mumbled a few words in latin, and guided her down a sloping, twisting tunnel to another door. Putting his hand on it, it swung open. Sarah stepped in with him- these quarters were more spacious and just as cozy as the previous ones.

They entered the lounge area which was surrounded by Snape's books and comfortable furniture, the floor adorned with a large area rug in muted blues, greens, and golds. Snape pushed her through the room and down the hallway. He tapped on a door. "This is my bedroom-" he walked a bit further, "and here is an extra one with a lavatory attached. Why don't you go wash your face and try to attempt to get your temper under control? Otherwise, if you continue to persist in this manner, the consequences might be more than you can handle right now"

Sarah tried to fight the glare, but she couldn't help it. "Stop trying to father me-I don't need one"

"Actually" Snape looked at her intently. "I'm beginning to think you need that more than ever"

Sarah swallowed hard. She didn't really know how to vocalize her feelings, but in the Headmaster's office, she felt empowered- almost as equals, even though that was quite foolish if she had stopped and thought about it. In here, she felt like a little girl waiting her daddy's censure again. And that was too much to bear. She didn't want to be here in his quarters.

"This is personal-us being here" Sarah fought the urge to lean against the wall and just cry and cry. "Why couldn't we stay where we were?"

Snape shook his head, wearily. "The place doesn't matter for that. It will always be personal between us, whether we want it to be or not. It's why you just exploded at me in that fit of temper back there. And why I allowed you to. Now, go on. I'll be in the sitting room. Take five minutes and then meet me there. We do need to talk" He pushed open the door for her and gently nudged her inside.

She managed to follow directions and it did serve to help cleanse herself of her overwrought emotions of the day. Facing the Slytherins was almost more than she could handle and that turned to recklessness when facing Snape. She was just so angry that he always tried to control her and even more angry that more times the naught, he knew just what she needed. He could read her so easily and it was bloody annoying. She readjusted her headband, straightened her robes and decided she better keep calm and try to reason with Snape without becoming so damn emotional. But that was near impossible these days...

"Are you ready to cease with the theatrics?" Snape asked her, fighting amusement at her forlorn expression. The fire seemed to evaporate, but he could tell that she was still uneasy and angry at his decision.

Sarah plopped on the couch and crossed her legs. Smoothing a wrinkled out of her robe she sighed, "I suppose I must be, but I'm angry at you"

"I have no doubt you are" Snape folded his hands. "It is not my job as Headmaster or your guardian to make you happy with my decisions all the time..."

"One more month" Sarah muttered.

"What did you say?" Snape's eyes narrowed again and Sarah shrugged. "Nothing of importance. And it is not a matter of being happy...it is the matter of your twisted, inane desire to control me. It has always been that way- from all your rules, to my grades and training, to all your blasted punishments. But this...this was a low blow, but coming from you, I should stop being so surprised"

"You will always view the situation the way you want to" Snape told her. "But does putting you with the Slytherins place you exactly where I want you? Absolutely, but maybe not for the reasons you think"

"So, I would be wrong in thinking that you have only did this to keep me away from the Gryffindors?" Sarah challenged. "You want to squash right away any chances of leading a rebellion against your authority...and you know that with Harry and the others gone, that I am the natural choice to do so. And you have the sneaking suspicious that I will be successful...isn't that the reason?"

"Perhaps one" Snape shrugged. "And I'm not sorry for it- any good leader would do just that"

Sarah rose slowly. "Well, allow me to inform you that it will take alot more than changing my roommates to stop me. If I want to lead a fucking rebellion I will do so-nothing has changed. And if I wasn't so inclined to do it before, you can be damn sure that I want to do so now- You have been warned"

Snape stood too. "And you were warned to stop being so dramatic and I think I have tolerated enough of your language, tonight. _I am still your guardian_"

"One month" Sarah clenched her fists. "And its over"

"We will see about that" he grabbed her wrist and led her down the hall. "Is there soap in your lavatory?"

Sarah stopped abruptly at his words. "_My_ lavatory?" her voice caught.

"Yes, Sarah" Snape retorted. "I have told you before while I might not love you in the way you want, I do care for your well being. I'm not going to throw you to the wolves-"

Sarah's lip trembled. "Snakes" she corrected.

"Snakes" Snape continued, "without a chance for a reprieve if you find yourself in need of one"

"I see" she whispered, before adding as an afterthought, "I don't remember there being soap in there" She felt all the sudden so shattered. Snape had considered the extra room to be hers even after everything being a lie, he was still providing a home for her. She had wondered why the bedspread was a quilt of purple flowers. Even though she was wearing a sweater under her robes, she still shivered.

"Come then" Snape guided her into his room, but gave her no time to look around before leading her into his lavatory. Flipping open the cabinet, he pulled out a new small bar of soap.

Sarah eyed it. "Seems like an awful waste for a new bar of soap. Not practical at all"

"If it teaches you to mind yourself and act in the manner befitting one almost of age, then I don't think it is a waste at all" Snape responded, dryly. "And after that fit of temper, you are lucky you aren't grounded from now until May or over my knee for a well deserved smacking. If you continue to act like a child, I will treat you as such. Now, open your mouth"

She did so and the bitter taste soon overwhelmed her. It was disgusting as usual and she had to will her stomach not to lurch in protest. It was only when she was sure that she could not take anymore that Snape summoned the waste basket and allowed her to spit the soap into it. He pulled out a cup from his cabinet, filled it up and handed it to her. She gratefully took it and rinsed her mouth.

"I trust you have learned your lesson?" Snape asked her, sternly.

"I will use good girl language from now on" Sarah assured him in between swishes. "But can I ask you a question?" She sat the cup down and turned back towards him, her back resting against the sink.

Snape waited and Sarah continued, "You said before that it was one of the reasons for placing me in Slytherin- the control" She stared up at him, examining his expression. "What was the other?"

"You never know when you might need allies on the other side" Snape told her, explaining no more, but simply allowing her to grapple with the implications.

"That's all well and good in your mind" Sarah took a breath, "But you don't understand. I'm not strong enough to handle all the animosity from all the others"

"You are" Snape answered, his gaze steady. "If I thought otherwise, I would have never attempted to place you in the situation"

"But I don't want to be strong all the time" Sarah whined, slightly and Snape raised his eyebrows at her. "Now that, Sarah, is a whole other matter to deal with. One that we might delve into over your week of detentions you have earned for that disgraceful display"

Sarah sighed at that announcement. "I suppose it is a whole other issue" she admitted. "Speaking of that, I should head back, right?"

Snape nodded. "I'll accompany you" He began walking, but Sarah stopped him as they were headed down the stairs from his office. "Headmaster?"

He turned slowly, his shock at her address evident in his expression. "Yes, Miss Black?"

"Thank you for not expelling me and throwing me at you-know-who's mercy" she took a breath. "I would have probably expelled me if the roles were reversed...and while I disagree still with your decision, I see it wasn't completely without my interest in mind even if in the process it does serve your own"

"You're welcome" Snape grunted and turned back around. Stopping at the bottom, he turned towards her. "You do surprise me at times, Sarah"

Sarah smiled. "I still might lead that rebellion, you know"

"I would expect nothing less from you" Snape retorted. "I will guard my valuables and change my password nightly" he added dryly. "and have my ruler at the ready for your poor hand because I assure you, if you try, I will catch you"

"At least in some ways, we are both quite predictable" Sarah responded and Snape had to fight the surge of pain in his heart. If only she knew...

* * *

After the emotions of the day, Sarah curled up in bed and fell right asleep. She slept soundly, but jerked awake suddenly. She shivered and retrieved the dressing gown from the bottom of her bed. Tying it tightly around her, she put on her slippers, reached for her wand and headed to the lavatory.

After attending to her needs, she washed her hands. Looking up at the mirror, her heart practically stopped. Her hands reached to her hair and she knew then it wasn't an illusion. It looked like someone had used Snape's curse on her hair- jagged edges and proportions- short pieces, long pieces. It was a wreck-tugging on all her teenage sensitivities about her looks. She had slept through it, so it wasn't done with ordinary scissors. Someone used magic on her while she slept-magic to make her look like an ugly freakish fool.

_Pansy. _

She was going to kill her.

A/N2: Ahh, Life with the Slytherins...up next: life continues as a Slytherin...will Sarah manage to stay out of trouble? Or will she lead that rebellion?


	23. Darkness Descends

**A/N: **Thanks for so many wonderful reviews! I LOVE hearing what you all have to think about the chapter!

Disclaimer: still don't own.

**Chapter 23: Darkness Descends**

Sarah stomped back to her room, determination etched across her face. Retrieving her wand from her bedside, she flicked on the lights with it, causing the other girls to stir and blink. Going over to Pansy's bed, she grabbed her arm and yanked hard. Pansy fell out of the bed with a thump.

"What's going on?" Daphene rubbed her eyes as she sat up.

"Get your wand, Parkinson" Sarah's voice was loud and commanding. "We are taking care of this right now"

"I'm not dueling with you, Black" Pansy stood up.

"No, you just like to curse me when I am sleeping" Sarah found her wand next to her bed. She forced it in Pansy's hand. "Take your wand, _now_. Unlike you, I don't attack my enemies when they are unable to defend themselves"

"What is going on?" Millie asked as the other girls got out of bed.

"Sarah!" Tracey gasped. "Your hair. What happened?"

"Ask Pansy" Sarah retorted, hot tears stinging her eyes, her wand still fixed in Pansy's direction.

"Pansy!" Daphene admonished as Millie touched Sarah's hair to examine it. "You cursed her while she was sleeping?"

"Yes, I did" Pansy replied, her voice raised. "And I would do it again. She deserves that and so much more"

"Even so" Millie replied, angrily. "You don't curse someone while they are sleeping!"

"Here, Sarah" Tracey reached for her wand. "Let's see if we can fix it" She cast a spell over Sarah's head.

"Merlin, it's making it worse" Daphene cried.

"That's it" Sarah yelled. "We are dueling. Right here and right now. Or are you afraid to?"

"I'm not afraid of you, Black" Pansy screamed back at her.

"Actually, you are. You afraid that I will take Draco from you. You want to make me ugly so he wouldn't be tempted, but guess what? It isn't going to work!" Sarah glared at her.

"All you had to do was leave him alone!" Pansy screamed. "But whenever you are near him, it's like he can't see anybody but you. Now, he won't have that problem. I know Draco...he could never be with someone so disgusting as you. Looks do matter to him"

"Ok, let's go wake him up and ask him right now what he thinks" Sarah challenged.

"What?" Pansy stuttered. "We aren't doing that"

"Why not? That's what you want-to see me so ugly. But the thing you didn't think through is that Draco will probably think it is despicable that you cursed me when I was sleeping. Do you remember the last time we dueled and you cursed me when my back was turned. Draco was awfully pissed at you for that, wasn't he?" Sarah turned and stalked towards the door. "So, let's go wake him up and see what he thinks of your little game" She paused, her eyes lit with anger. "Or are you afraid to?"

* * *

"Headmaster Snape" Dobby knocked on the door to his room. "Wake up Headmaster Snape"

Snape groaned and managed to rouse himself enough to say, "What is it?"

"There is some sort of commotion in the Slytherin dorms. The portraits reported it. Lots of yelling. May be a duel. You must come" Dobby shook his head, sorrowfully.

"What?" Snape sat up and pulled on his robe, tightening the belt. He grabbed his wand and flung open the door to his bedroom. "Call Slughorn. He is their head"

"I think he must have taken some sort of sleeping potion" Dobby informed him. "I tried Headmaster, I did"

"No, it's ok" Snape assured him. "Go back downstairs. I'll take care of it. Thank you, Dobby"

"Yes, Master Snape" Dobby popped out of his quarters. There was only two house elves allowed through the wards in his quarters- Dobby and Wiggles, but he was seriously regretting that choice. Yet, still, he knew he must be informed of matters such as these as Headmaster. And he was pretty sure he knew just where the commotion was coming from. The 7th year Slytherin dorm room. _Sarah_.

* * *

Upon entering the Slytherin common room, he was met by a group of students.

"What are you all doing out of bed?" he growled at them.

"It's hard not to be when that is going on" Blaise said as they heard more shouting.

"What do you think is going on Headmaster?" Draco asked. "We can hear them shouting from all the way on the boys side. They are being bloody loud"

"I don't know" Snape looked around the common room as about 10 students were milling around. "But I know this. I commend you for trying to help, but back to bed all, _right now_" The other students scattered immediately at Snape's firm command, but Draco stayed behind.

"It sounds like Sarah's voice" Draco's brow creased in worry. "And Pansy"

Snape scowled as he heard more yelling. It was _definitely_ Sarah's voice. "If this is over you, Dragon..."

Draco held up his hands innocently. "I haven't done anything, I promise, Uncle Sev. Pansy and I haven't talked all summer and you know Sarah and I are just friends"

"We shall see" Snape pointed to the couch. "Wait here" he instructed. "I'll be right back"

* * *

"I'm not scared" Pansy insisted. "It's just we aren't allowed in the boys' dormitory. There are charms and such"

Sarah rolled her eyes. "Charms? You are letting charms stop you? I thought you were a Slytherin? _Ridiculous_. Let's go"

"No, Black!" Pansy shouted at her as she ran forward to grab her. She was beginning to think Sarah's words were true. Draco would take Sarah's side. Maybe it would prevent him from going after her, but he would be sympathetic to the one he thought wronged. "Wait!"

But Sarah shrugged her off and flung open the door, only to come face to face with an irate Snape.

"Do you girls realize what time it..._Black_!" His voice conveyed his utter shock at her appearance. He stepped forward and reached out to touch her hair. His hand moved through the jagged pieces, a deep frown on his face. He examined it and then searched her red, tear stained face. His face hardened and Sarah knew right away that he knew what happened and that Pansy was in for it.

"Sarah, move out of the doorway please. Everyone appropriate?"

"We are, Headmaster" Daphene called. "Come in"

Sarah moved out of the way to allow him entrance. His dark eyes narrowed in on Pansy, staring her down. "Somebody explain to me why I was woken up at 3 am our first night back to say there was a row in the Slytherin dorms...the _Slytherin _dorms. My former house and imagine to my surprise, it is coming from my _7th years_, who I am sure know better"

There was silence, but finally Pansy spoke. "Do you find it odd, Headmaster, that you haven't had one problem with us in seven years until she" Pansy pointed towards Sarah, "moved in?"

Snape's eyes moved towards Sarah, who went to sit on her bed crossing her arms. "Oh, shove off, Pansy. The Headmaster may not think the best of me, but he isn't a fool. He knows that while I might have started this shouting fight, you actually started it when you made me look like a freak when _I was sleeping_!"

"Black" Tracey hissed at her. "We don't rat each other out"

"I wasn't trying to" Sarah shot back. "But she just tried to put the whole blame on me! What would make me want to try to protect her when she was going to make me take the blame for the fight? And forgive me if I'm not feeling very chummy" Sarah ran her hand through her hair, "with her"

"Sarah is right. This isn't entirely her fault. We also don't curse someone when they are defenseless" Daphene countered. "Especially someone that is supposed to be our own...although that is debatable, I suppose"

"Excellent point, Miss Greengrass" Snape praised, still staring at Pansy causing her to shift uncomfortably.

"Sir, we tried to charm it back, but it made it worse" Millie went to sit next to Sarah on her bed.

"That was kind of you" Snape responded "That is how I _expect_ my Slytherins to behave towards each other. Now, Miss Parkinson, is what Black said true? Did you do this to her hair while she was sleeping?"

Pansy shrugged. "So what if I did? She isn't actually a Slytherin so..."

Snape scowled. "I do believe that it was _my_ wish for her to be transferred into the Slytherin House. Are you questioning my judgement?" his voice was low and Pansy backed away immediately, knowing full well the tone. She got in trouble with Snape only one other time- the one Sarah had mentioned before. And it was bad. She probably should have thought about it before she came up with this. But then again, Snape hated Black. And it wasn't like she actually hurt her...no, she didn't feel sorry one bit. She deserved this.

"No of course not Sir. I would never question your judgement" she said, hastily.

"And did you do this?" Snape's voice was cold.

"I did" Pansy crossed her arms too. "And I'm not sorry"

"We shall talk about this tomorrow" Snape retorted. "When I am more rested and can manage to keep my temper. But I am ashamed, especially coming from one of the people I appointed as a prefect. You are supposed to look after and protect your fellow housemates, especially first years and other new students. I thought I could trust your judgement, but apparently I was sorely mistaken. But we shall discuss this later. 7 pm tomorrow night, I believe you should know what to expect. Black, we are moving your detention to 8 pm. Understood?"

He waited and when Pansy didn't respond, he pressed. "Parkinson?"

"Yes sir" she grumbled.

"Good, now back to bed...all of you" Snape instructed. "Except Black. You get to come with me"

"Are you going to fix her hair?" Daphene asked.

"Well, I'm not going to leave it like that" Snape replied, tersely. "Let's go, Black"

Millie gave her a sympathetic look, Tracey and Daphene told her good night and Sarah stood and followed Snape out of the room and into the common room. She yelped as soon as she saw Draco stand and moved quickly to hide behind Snape. She only wished he was wearing his big, billowing black robes as that would provide more coverage. It was one thing to go get Draco with Pansy in tow in an moment of anger, another for it to actually happen.

"Uncle Sev" she whispered, her voice sounding even desperate to her own ears. "Draco can't see me like this, _please_..." She wanted to grab his arms and keep him in place, but then she hadn't really touched Snape since that night he killed Dumbledore and told her it was all a lie. Sure Snape had held her plenty of times to ensure her attention, but that was different.

"Black?" Draco tried to bypass Snape, but Sev shook his head. "No, Draco. Pansy decided to curse Sarah while she slept. Her hair is well...I haven't ever seen anything quite like it. She isn't being overly sensitive about it- it does look atrocious"

"Uncle Sev!" Sarah squeaked in protest.

"_What_?" Draco gasped. "She didn't. She wouldn't"

"She did" Sarah replied. "And I look...please, Draco, I don't want you to see me like this- that would give her what she wants"

"Or I can look at you and then give her my honest opinion about it" Draco retorted. "Come on, Sarah. I want to see what she did to you- then I will know how to best deal with it"

"Deal with it?" Sarah whispered.

"You really think I will let her get away with it?" Draco asked. "I promised I wouldn't let anybody bully you and that includes Pansy"

"I can handle Pansy" Sarah replied, hotly.

"Of course you can" Draco assured her quickly. "I only meant that it will be much more upsetting to Pansy if I try to handle the situation. Let me see your hair"

"As touching as this is" Snape intervened, dryly. "I want to fix this mess and go to bed. It is now 3:30 in the morning"

They ignored Snape.

"Sarah" Draco entreated and Sarah stepped to the side. The truth of the matter is that she trusted Draco- she had witnessed his shame with becoming a death eater and being tasked to kill Dumbledore, he had seen her tortured and vomit in front of him. And this was nothing compared to it.

"Wow" Draco murmured as he reached to brush the hair out of her face. "She did try her best, didn't she?"

"It does look horrible" Sarah responded, her face red.

"Yes, but you are still beautiful to me, Black. I think nothing will change that. You will always be the prettiest girl I know" Draco said earnestly before kissing her cheek. "Now, go let Snape fix your hair"

Sarah's heart warmed at his praise. Draco really thought that? While she didn't believe she was pretty herself (not like some other girls around), the fact that she was sure Draco was sincere in his assessment of her, made her feel beautiful even with her wacked up hair.

"Are we done here?" Snape's tone suggested he was bored with their conversation. "Back to bed with you, Draco. You can see Sarah in the morning"

"Goodnight, Draco" Sarah said with a smile and Snape pulled her with him out of the Slytherin portrait hole before Draco had a chance to respond. They walked in silence back to his quarters and Snape guided her into his room.

"Let's see what we can do" Snape pulled a chair from his room into the lavatory. "Sit" Sarah sat down and Severus held up his wand. "Let's try magic first"

He waved his wand over her hair and like Tracey's spell, it made it slightly worse. "Uncle Sev!" Sarah squawked. "What are we going to do? The curse must be immune to magical counter curse"

Severus's face was grim, but determined as he summoned a pair of scissors. He put it on the counter. He stepped over to his cupboard and reached for a towel. He wrapped it around her shoulders. "We are going to do this the muggle way. It will be short, but most of the pieces aren't much higher than your chin. I'll try to even it out the best I can"

"Are you sure you can do this?" Sarah asked, skeptically.

"I'm your best option right now, unless you want to go to breakfast and classes tomorrow looking like this"

Sarah tried not to panic. She took a few deep breaths as she tried to trust Snape with this. The silly thing is that last year at this time, she would have let him do this without a second thought. But that is when he was her Dad.

As if reading her thoughts, Snape continued, "Don't worry so. Here let's get your hair wet. I'm afraid to use a spell to do so- come" He turned the water on to the shower and tested with his hand. He put a hand on her back and pushed her forward so she leaned over the tub. Using the attachment, he sprayed the water to wet her hair. When it was wet enough, he told her, "OK, go sit again"

Her hair was a tangled mess- from the curse and adding the water to it. Snape summoned a comb and began the task of working through the tangles. His touch was gentle, working through them with the comb instead of just yanking it through.

Suddenly, Sarah didn't know if it was the events of the entire day or just that moment with Snape right then, but she was hit with an overwhelming sense of nostalgia. When she was younger, Snape would brush through her tangles and it made her feel so loved and cared for. Her mind flashed back to those times of her sitting on her bed and Snape brushing through the tangles made by her braids. One time in particular came to mind-the night of the astronomy tower. He was so mad at her, yet he took the time to brush her hair out. Her chin began to wobble as Snape reached for the scissors.

"If you cry" he warned, "I will have no hope of getting it right. Do you want a calming drought?"

Sarah shook her head. "No I'm fine" She wiped her tears. "It's just late and my mind and emotions are going kind of crazy"

Snape paused. "How so?"

"You combing my hair-you will probably think this is stupid, but this just reminded me of that time first year when it was the middle of the night and I got in so much trouble, but you brushed out the tangles for me and then told me to go to sleep and we would talk about it in the morning. Do you remember?"

Snape cleared his throat as he remembered. "The astronomy tower incident. That was really the first time you got in significant trouble with me. I should have spanked you for that" He began cutting her hair.

"So why didn't you, Uncle Sev?" Sarah asked, quietly as Snape continued cutting.

"You just seemed so lost" Snape admitted. "I know what I would have done if you were in my house, but you were so overwrought with emotions and needed me that night to be gentle with you"

"I needed a father" Sarah commented, trying to maintain control on her emotions. "You said tonight that you think I still do and you were right. I feel just as lost now as I did then. I'm without anybody. At least back then, I had Harry, Hermione, Ron, Fred, George and even my Dad...now they are all gone...and of course, I had you"

"I'm still here, Sarah" Snape replied. He looked at her in the mirror. "I want to help you through all of this. You just have to stop fighting me."

"How do I know _that _is not a lie when everything I thought was true was?" she asked, looking at him in the mirror.

"You don't and you have good reason to doubt my word" Snape answered. "But I don't think I would be trying to fix your hair at now almost 4 am, if I didn't care about you somewhat"

"It's just hard for me to get over the last 6 years" Sarah replied. "I trusted you. And you threw that trust right back at me. Do you know how I felt when I saw you kill Dumbledore and then saw those memories? It was the worst moment of my life"

Snape made a strangled noise that he attempted to cover up as a cough. "Even worse than finding out about your mum or your dad's death?" He continued to chop as they talked.

"Absolutely" Sarah replied, fiercely. "They died, but at the end, I never doubted that they were good or they loved me. And I loved you just as much as them- I believed in you when everyone else told me I was wrong or misguided. And then it turned out that it was me that was the stupid one"

"You've never been stupid, Sarah" Snape's voice was strained and Sarah looked in the mirror to meet his eyes. Was it the trick of the light or did he actually look pained? The moment was so fleeting that she was sure she imagined it. "I'm sorry I caused you so much pain. I would have done things so differently. You would have undoubtedly been better with the Weasleys"

Sarah frowned, but didn't argue the point. Snape took her silence as a confirmation, not like he could blame her. But what Sarah was really thinking is that even if it had been a lie, Snape was the best father those 6 years that she could ever have wanted. But how to vocalize that? She couldn't- so she just remained silent.

"There" Snape swished his wand and cleaned up the hair from the floor and took the towel off of her. He flicked his wand again and dried her hair. "It's really short, but it doesn't look too bad. If you'd like I can make you potion that will speed up the growth of your hair"

Sarah looked in the mirror at her bit shorter than chin length hair. There were still shorter pieces but it simply looked layered. All Snape tried to do was even out the most of the pieces.

"It doesn't look horrible" she conceded. "Thank you. I guess in the whole realm of things important, short hair doesn't really matter"

"At least it is presentable now" Snape told her. "And you need to get to bed. You have classes in the morning. You can sleep here if you would like. It would save me from having to walk you back to the dungeons, but if you would rather, I understand"

"You know I could walk by myself" Sarah covered her hand with her mouth as she yawned. "I am close to being of age- you don't have to hover so"

"I think not" Severus responded. "Who knows what kind of trouble you would find on the way?"

"Wouldn't be my first 3 am adventure" Sarah responded, impishly.

"But it would be your last" Snape responded, with a hint of humor to his tone. Sarah laughed and told him that she would stay here.

"Off to bed with you then" Snape replied. "I'll wake you up in plenty of time- though that is a task I'm not looking forward to after tonight"

"I'll be agreeable in the morning" Sarah told him, but Snape waved her off.

"Don't make promises you can't keep" he warned. "Goodnight, Sarah"

"Goodnight, Uncle Sev" Sarah responded. "Thank you for fixing my hair"

Snape nodded and watched as she left. He sunk down into the chair and placed his head in his hands. _Him killing Dumbledore was the worst moment of her life?_ _She really did believe that losing him was the worst thing to ever happen to her- even beyond her actual biological parents. Merlin help him. He was a fool to ever do this._

* * *

Sarah slid into her seat next to Millie at the start of Dark Arts class. "Nice hair, Black" Pansy turned around to snicker at her. Draco, who came in a few moments later, sat on Sarah's other side.

"I do like it, Black. You look very pretty today" Draco smiled at her, playfully touching her cropped locks.

"Draco!" Pansy hissed at him, but Draco raised an eyebrow. "I would be careful Pansy. You already have detention with Snape tonight. You don't want to cause another scene. From what I understand, he is quite upset with you"

"I still can't understand why" Pansy grumbled. "It was all in good fun"

"Maybe, but then again, he always did say Sarah's hair reminds him of his sister...and we all know how Snape feels about Sarah's mum. I'm wondering if he took it as a personal insult to her memory" Draco told her, effectively silencing her and giving Pansy plenty more to worry about her detention with Snape. Sarah looked across the room to the Gryffindors. Assured that Amycus Carrow was not in the room yet and that they still had a few minutes, she left her books and went to talk to Neville.

"Hey, Sarah, nice hair" Neville grinned. "What happened?"

"Pansy happened" Sarah twirled the short ends of her hair. "I'm putting protective charms around my bed tonight. I've learned my lesson. So listen, I do have detention tonight at 8 pm, but" she leaned forward to whisper in his ear.

"That would work" he replied back. "Same place?"

Sarah nodded. "I should be getting back" she whispered. "Be careful in this class. I've heard bad things about the Carrows"

"Same to you" Neville answered as she went to slide back in her seat.

"What was that about?" Draco asked, curiously.

"Nothing" Sarah mumbled as she picked up her quill and Amycus Carrow entered. He passed out the term's syllabus and Sarah's heart sunk as she saw all the dark curses they were to be learning. He also reminded them that detentions would now be served with him and his sister as deputy headmasters, as ordered by the Dark Lord himself. Sarah bit her lip and tried to remain impassive, but she could only imagine the horrors-even worse the Umbridge. And yet Snape was allowing it- though she suppose he really didn't have a choice. She knew he disagreed with that type of discipline for students, but she knew he wouldn't want to cross the Dark Lord over it.

They spent the rest of the class discussing the curses on the syllabus, went over the summer essay topic, and with the command to hand in their summer essay, Carrow dismissed the class.

Sarah went up to hand in her essay and when Carrow saw her name, he said, "Stay for a moment, Black" Immediately, Sarah's shields went up and she was determined not to say or do anything to make her life harder at the moment. Draco tapped her arm. "I'll wait outside" he whispered in her ear. "I'm just outside. Scream if he does anything" Sarah nodded, almost imperceptible, but Draco knew she understood him.

The room cleared quickly. "Ahh, Black" Carrow addressed her. "Have a seat for a moment" Sarah reluctantly obeyed, perched to the edge of the stool, letting her books rest on the table.

"The Dark Lord has tasked me personally with your success in this subject" he put his hand on his pallid cheek."He has assured me of your vast potential, but told me that you might need to be _persuaded_ to tap into it"

"I think the Dark Lord overestimates me" Sarah responded, wringing her hands slightly. "Just because I'm highly successful at defense doesn't mean I have the aptitude or drive to make me successful at the Dark Arts- I would imagine quite the opposite"

Amycus narrowed his eyes. "My, you do like to share your opinions readily, my dear" He swung over to her to stand quite close to her. Long, thick fingers pushed her chin up and she looked into his dark, sunken eyes. His fingers squeezed her chin. "The Dark Lord warned me to exercise patience with you. You have become quite his project, but I am still to report any defiance or poor work directly to him. What you have deserved to earn such consideration, I don't know, but I will do so after dealing with you personally. And let me assure you, you don't want to cross me, Black"

Sarah cleared her throat. "I thought the Dark Lord ordered all my discipline to be handled by Snape?"

"Headmaster Snape" Carrow replied, releasing her chin to jerk her out of her seat. "And what Snape and the Dark Lord don't know, won't hurt them..as long as I succeed in my task to make you an outstanding Dark wizard, the Dark Lord won't question my methods" He took her arm. "Come with me. I want to show you something"

Amycus led her to an attached door at the back of the classroom. "One great things about magic is that you can make it suit your purposes. I bet you have never seen this door before, have you?"

Sarah shook her head. Amycus pushed it open. "This is where we will handle wayward students discipline. Observe the chains, Sarah. How would you like to be chained up and cut or beaten? But that would be nothing to the cruciatus and I hear you handle that well"

Sarah's heart dropped as she saw multiple sets of chains on the wall. _Snape was allowing this?_

"I will always succeed in my task to the Dark Lord. I will do all things possible to please him. Do you understand my meaning?"

"Quite so" Sarah replied. "Now, sir, I'm afraid I will be late for Transfiguration if I don't leave now"

"Then go" Carrow replied. "I'm so glad we had this discussion. I know we are going to have alot of fun this year- you and me" His sinister sneer made Sarah want to sick up.

"Yes sir"

Sarah gathered her books and headed out the door. "We are going to be late" Draco told her. "What did he say? I couldn't quite overhear"

"Nothing of importance" Sarah mumbled. "Let's hurry"

Draco eyed her pale face. "Are you sure you are ok?"

"Positive. It is nothing we didn't know Draco. Well, minus chains and such"

Draco held her arm, pulling her back. "Did he chain you?"

"No, he was just showing me what would happen if I wasn't cooperative. The Dark Lord has tasked him with making me into a great Dark Wizard"

"Sarah..." Draco's hand slid into hers. "Snape said that he was to handle your discipline"

"Apparently, Carrow thinks what Snape doesn't know.._what you know who_ doesn't know, won't hurt them as long as he succeeds in the end...and even if I could get out of it, this is what he will do to other students. How can Snape allow this?"

"Snape doesn't have much of a choice these days. You know he doesn't agree with it. He might be a killer, but Snape isn't sadistic" Draco argued.

"I know" Sarah ducked her head. "Sometimes, I still see glimpses of my father under it all"

"I know, Black" Draco squeezed her hand. "We are late. Let's hurry"

* * *

Snape was glancing through letters from concerned parents, trying to discreetly ask for mercy in regards to their children. His heart was heavy as he read them. Being a parent himself, these past years made him understand their perspective. Indeed, he was worried for his child, though he had to feign annoyance and tolerance in that regards. He looked at his clock. He asked Minerva to meet him at 6:45. That would give him plenty of time to talk to her and then handle Pansy's discipline and Sarah's detention. It was going to be a full night. Promptly on time, Minerva knocked on his door.

"Enter"

"You summoned me, Severus?" McGonagall entered the Headmaster's office.

"Do look so disgruntled with me, Minerva" Snape stood, placing both hands on his desk to push himself up when she entered. He leaned over the desk, hands still flat against it as she walked towards him. "I know how you feel about things, you have made that quite clear. Yet you are still under my leadership and I need you to do something for me"

"I am only here, Severus Snape" McGonagall pursed her lips, "to protect those poor children from all of this" She waved her hand at him.

"Yet, still, I am the Headmaster and I need you to do something for me" Severus insisted, his voice low.

"I have known you since you were a boy" Minerva replied, the hand moving to her hip. "Don't try to boss me"

"Yet, still, I am the Headmaster and I need you to do something for me" Severus repeated, an eyebrow raised her direction.

"Put that eyebrow back in place" McGonagall replied, tersely. "What do you want?"

"If you remember, it was announced yesterday in our staff meeting, that discipline at Hogwarts will be handled by myself or the Carrows"

"How can I forget?" Minevera huffed. "The cruciatus curse used on children? Beatings? Knives? We all know what to expect from the Carrows"

"Indeed" Severus replied. "And that is why I want you to discreetly encourage the other staff members to use caution when referring their students to the Carrows for discipline. Send them to me or handle them yourself...without their knowledge, of course"

McGonagall froze, a frown on her face. She stared at him for a few moments. Finally, she sat down in one of the chairs facing Severus's desk. Snape followed suit.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked, after a few more minutes of silence.

"It is simply really. I have never believed in the abuse of children. Well deserved smackings as punishment, yes. Abuse never" Severus responded, firmly. "The Dark Lord, however, differs in his opinion"

"Yet, you are his servant-?" McGonagall questioned.

"For reasons other than that, but you doubt my sincerity" Severus replied. "You are hopelessly transparent in your disapproval"

"I don't think I need to moderate my emotions towards the man that killed one of my best friends" Minerva responded. "A man I cared deeply for"

"I understand that. We were fighting a war on opposing sides. It was nothing personal" Severus replied. "Now, back to the issue at hand. Tell me, have you ever witnessed me being abusive towards my Slytherins or your precious Black?"

Minerva paused, contemplating his words. "No, I haven't. While your exterior had to be indifferent to your niece, there were moments when you were downright gentle with her"

"I won't go that far" Severus grumbled. "I was playing a game for my sister's benefit"

She ignored him. "Speaking of Sarah, you do know she is devastated by these turn of events?" Minerva folded her hands. "You were her rock. After losing both her parents, you were the one person she leaned on completely- the one person she trusted. It didn't matter what her friends said. You were a hero to her. One look at that child and you can tell how shattered she is"

"I don't need you to tell me the ways I have failed my niece" Severus replied. "I know them. I'm reminded of them every day"

"And you do know that she will be a target for the Carrows? You can't expect Sarah to be someone who her very nature rebels against"

"I have told the Carrows that Sarah's discipline will be handled personally by me" Severus replied.

"I see" Minerva stared at him. "And you really think that will work?"

"It better" Severus stood. "Or they will sorely regret the day they crossed me. I'm under the vow to my sister and I will protect that child. But will you help me with the others?"

Minerva stood. "I still don't understand why you are doing this. But of course, I will. You do know that there will be times when we can't"

"Then we will heal the students the best we can and help them to move on" Severus replied. "It is the only thing we can do"

"We will. But let this be known to you right now. I do not support you, Severus. I'm doing this for the children"

Severus waved her off. "But of course, Minerva. I wouldn't dare think otherwise"

"Good day" Minerva spun on her heels and left the room, closing the door behind her.

"Well, that was interesting" Dumbledore spoke from his portrait. "Minerva always did have quite the righteous temper on her"

"It's well deserved, Headmaster" Severus leaned back in his chair.

"I think it is admirable that you are trying to protect the children" Dumbledore told him. "It is why we wanted you in this position to begin with. Can you imagine one of the Carrows being here?"

Snape shuddered. "I just hate this all. The darkness has descended upon this place. And if that wasn't bad enough, every day, I look into the face of my little girl and I have to live with the fact that I through my actions have destroyed her"

"She is not destroyed, Severus. When the truth comes out..."

"I will most likely be dead" Snape replied. "But as long as Sarah lives, then the hardships I face it witnessing this all, will be worth it. At least I have to believe it will"

But really, he doubted that it would ever be worth it.

**Up next**: The resistance movement...


	24. The Resistance

**A/N:** Another shamefully overdue chapter. We are back on this side of the ocean and settling in. Almost half way through pregnancy with baby #2...needless to say, life got in the way of updating. But I'm finding more time to do so...so our tale continues. Hope you enjoy and please continue to let me know what you think! Thanks for all of you who are still reading!

**Chapter 24: The Resistance**

"Hogwarts is a different place than we are used to" Sarah looked around the Room of Requirement at the 20 odd students gathered- a combination of Gyriffindors, Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs. Each person there were DA members from last year- now looking at her for leadership in lieu of Harry and Hermione. While she and Harry covered training, she wasn't the brain child behind this group- that was Hermione. But she was what was left of their core group and she knew Harry would want her to take charge in his absence.

"We must adjust to it" she added, firmly.

"Adjust to it?" Collin asked, confusion on his face evident. "Meaning accept it?"

"No" Sarah shook her head, adamantly. "Never accept it. But we must be smart about the way we approach our fight. We don't have Dumbledore's protection anymore"

"And the current Headmaster won't raise a finger to protect us" Neville added. "This is going to be a tough year. The DA can't simply be about learning spells, we have to find ways to survive the Carrows and Snape"

"Not to mention _you know who_" Luna offered.

"And help Harry" Ginny added. "We cannot forget about that"

"How are we supposed to do _all_ of that?" Hannah Abbot asked. " And the Carrows will make us learn Dark Magic- what are we to do about that?"

"I know it seems like alot" Sarah leaned against the desk and crossed her arms. "But the Carrows won't just make us learn Dark Magic, they will make us use it too-most likely on each other...our friends. They will know that we are close to each other and as a warning to us, they will most likely force us to curse each other"

"So" Susan Bones folded her hands, "what are we to do? I can't use dark magic on my friends. But the consequences would be ghastly"

"That's such a good point. That is the dilemma we face" Sarah tucked a hair behind her ear. "Failure to comply would be viewed as an all out rebellion. It would mean not only punishment and torture for us...but could also extend to our friends, our family, innocent muggle children. The Death Eaters would retaliate. In you know who's mind, every act of rebellion should be faced with consequences and take it from me- his consequences aren't like Snape's"

"It sounds hopeless" Lavender mumbled and there was a rumbling amongst the group.

"But I don't think it is" Sarah replied. "Here is what I am thinking: we learn in these DA meetings to temper our spells. We can control the force of magic we put behind the spells, and the Carrows wouldn't have to know what we are doing if the person we are using the spells on is a good actor"

"In other words" Neville offered, "the Carrows observe from class and from meals that Sarah and I are close. In class, they force Sarah to practice her cruciatus on me. She casts the spell, but controls her magic so the spell has little force behind it, but I act like it is the most painful cruciatus in the world. The Carrows are satisfied with their teaching ability and Sarah is saved from flat out refusing to use Dark magic"

"It's going to take alot of practice" Ginny added. "But I think it could work. And really, what choice do we have?"

Sarah looked at her watch. "Agh, I'm sorry guys, but I have detention. We will meet again tomorrow"

"What did you do?" Terry Boot asked.

"Let's just say, I spoke my mind to Snape about his decision to move me in with the Slytherins...and I may have used some choice words" Sarah shrugged as she reached behind her to pull on her robe. "I don't need to tell you guys that secrecy is key here. If one of us blabs, all of us...and our friends and family will face the consequences"

And they all knew that those consequences could be deadly.

* * *

Sarah rushed up the stairs to Snape's office. According to her watch, she had 30 seconds before she would be considered late. She had practically ran from the Room of Requirement to Snape's office. With seconds to spare, she reached the top and knocked on the door.

"Enter" Snape barked and Sarah opened the door. Walking calmly across the room, she tried to control her shortness of breath.

"Cutting it close, aren't we?" Snape laid aside the papers he was working on and looked up and studied her carefully, his tone disapproving. "Why might that be, Black?"

Sarah shrugged, not meeting his eyes. "Lost track of time...but I made it on time so really you can't punish me more" She tightened the grip on her bag. "And I'm ready for my detention, but before you delve out whatever menial, mind numbing task you are planning to keep me in line, could we talk about something?"

"You aren't try to pull my attention away from the reason why you were forced to rush to your detention, are you?" Snape asked, a frown on his face. "You forget that I played your father for the past 6 years...I know when you are _up to something_"

Sarah forced herself to meet his eyes. "Well, considering how well you trained me in occlumency, I dare say, you will never find out if that is true and if it is true, what that is" she replied, saucily, tossing her cropped hair.

Snape's eyebrow shot up. "We shall see" He gestured to her. "Have a seat"

Sarah sat down and placed her bag on the chair next to her. Crossing her legs in front of her, she looked up at Snape. "You take your vow to my mother seriously, right?"

"You doubt that?" Snape asked. "After all I have done to assist you?"

"Well, you are...a Death Eater...and you did kill Dumbledore, so yes, I wouldn't think that it would be a stretch for me to question how much I should trust you right now, even if you have been...more understanding in the past few weeks than right after Dumbledore's death"

"A fair point" Snape responded, "but considering my life is contingent on me fulfilling that vow, I dare say, I take it quite seriously"

Sarah nodded. "Then, you need to see something. Will you show me how to share a memory with you in the pensieve?" She reached for her bag and pulled out the shrunken object. "I wasn't sure how to retrieve it from my mind"

"Of course. It is dangerous to your memory if you do not do it correctly. Watch and listen carefully" Snape stood. He enlarged the pensieve and then instructed her on the spell to pull the memories from her mind.

Sarah followed his direction and placed the memory into the pensieve. "Enjoy" she uttered sarcastically as Snape viewed the memory in the pensieve. When he was done, he sat in his chair at his desk.

"What should I do?" Sarah asked, quietly.

"Under no circumstances are you to attend a detention with Carrow" Snape replied, his eyes dark and stormy. "You will report immediately to me or send word through Draco or another Slytherin if he requires this of you and if he asks you to stay after class again, Draco or Zambini is to be outside the door with their wand at the ready. I will talk to both of them about this. Your hand will be on your wand at all times in your pocket and if he so much as puts a hand on you, you are to run to Draco and then come straight to me. The rest you will allow me to take care of. The Dark Lord has commanded me with your discipline and I will not have his wishes disobeyed, no matter what the intentions are. It is not his task to tame and break you."

"But I can't just disobey Carrow and run away from him like a coward" Sarah replied. "He will retaliate against me and it will make things worse. I don't run from things"

_"I _am Headmaster of this school...and _I _am your guardian and if _I _say you are to run, then you are to run, Black, no matter what your bloody Gryffindor instincts are telling you to do" Snape growled. "Have I made myself clear?"

Sarah's look was rebellious, but she managed to respond, "yes, sir" She paused. "Do you think he would try anything..._you know_"

"Sexual?" Snape asked and Sarah nodded. He was quiet for several moments, before responding. "I will not lie to you. Some of my _more disturbed_ colleagues have participated in questionable activities with girls your age. But the Dark Lord has made expectations for Carrows' methods of discipline clear- he is to not cross that line with you or any of your classmates. And I will tell you this: the Dark Lord values your innocence. He would not want your blood line to be diluted with anybody's less pure and less powerful than you"

"So, he is keeping me alive so I can procreate nice Death Eater pureblooded children?" Sarah snorted. "Bloody unlikely"

Snape raised his eyebrow at her. "If the Dark Lord succeeds than that is indeed what you will have to do. But fear not, I don't think you will find his choice of a mate for you wholly undesirable"

"I'm engaged to Fred" Sarah pointed out.

"Not if the Dark Lord wins the war" Snape retorted. "And the way it is looking, he very well might"

"And who is his choice for me?" she asked softly, knowing that he was right. The way it was looking, it was a distinct possibility.

"Draco Malfoy" Snape replied. "For many reasons unrelated to you"

Sarah's heart quickened as emotions ran through her at the possibility of becoming Draco's wife- excitement, fear, confusion...

Snape studied her once again, interested in the display of emotions across her face. "What are you thinking?"

"I wouldn't want to marry Draco because we are forced to it by evil incarnate for the sole purpose of creating Dark Lord minions" Sarah blurted out.

"But there would be an occasion when you would want to marry Draco though?" Snape asked, quietly.

Sarah paused, her mind wandering from Draco to Fred and back to Draco again. "I'm not sure"

"Interesting" Snape replied. "For someone engaged to another man"

"It was under the assumption that Fred was no longer around" Sarah retorted, slightly guilty at the feelings to prospect of marriage to Draco invoked in her.

"Fair enough. But we digress from our purpose of meeting" Snape changed the subject, "About your detention..."

Two hours later, Snape dismissed her and sat in the quiet for several minutes after she had left. In that time, as he contemplated what had happened, he couldn't help but feel the teeniest bit proud of her. Sarah had not taken actions into her own hands, but came to an adult to help with the situation. Perhaps his parenting after the Umbridge debacle had indeed been effective. But instead of feeling proud of his accomplishment as a parent, he felt more disheartened of the ways he had failed her. Would he ever learn to live past the regret?

* * *

The DA meetings were going well, even without Harry and Hermione's leadership with Sarah, Neville, Luna and Ginny taking control. Sarah continued to be a natural teacher, enjoying this time- the one light for her in the Dark times that was dominating her 7th year at Hogwarts. And her plan had worked well- the Carrows were forcing them to practice Dark Magic on each other and even younger students, but the DA members were able to control their magic due to the practice they had in their meetings. The Slytherins were not targeted as much, the Carrows focusing on conforming the other students to Voldemort's agenda. Sarah and Draco grew closer during this time, as he had taken over the role of trying to make sure that Sarah continued to be well practiced in various offensive and defensive spells. What Sarah didn't know is that Draco's instruction came straight from Snape- teaching Draco spells to focus on with Sarah. As a result, Sarah and Draco grew closer, while she and Snape kept their distance. But whatever he said to Amycus Carrow worked because while he almost always called on her for demonstrations, he didn't give her detentions or ask her to stay after class.

Her time at Hogwarts was drawing near as her birthday was approaching. But unfortunately for Sarah, she wasn't destined to ease into her departure. It started with a frantic meeting between Sarah, Neville and Ginny before the DA commenced.

"He has it- I saw it!" Neville crossed his arms and Sarah shook her head. "I don't quite understand. Have what?"

"The sword of Gryffindor. Snape. He has it. It is in his office. We have to get it for Harry"

Sarah gasped. "That's impossible. I would know if Snape has it"

"Of course you wouldn't know!" Ginny retorted. "When is the last time he has seen you? You have been avoiding him and now he has the sword."

"But still, I have been to his office in the past few weeks...I would have seen it" Sarah replied. "Are you sure it is _the_ sword?"

"I am a Gryffindor" Neville replied, quietly. "And it has Godric Gyrffindor's name etched on the side. I'm sure"

"Still he must have a good reason for having it" Sarah replied, her heart sinking again. In spite of Snape being Snape, she still did see glimpses of her father under it all- like when he cut her hair or his protectiveness when she showed him the memory of her encounter with Carrow.

"Oh, come off of it, Sarah" Ginny's eyes flashed. "He lied to you for the past 6 years and you are still apt to believe in his goodness. He is a death eater and a killer and he has something that can help Harry, so you need to stop thinking that Snape might be good inside and just accept that he isn't...and help us find away to get the sword"

Sarah wanted challenge her, but deep down, she knew Ginny was right. "Ok, Ok...of course, I believe Neville and I can get the password to Snape's office"

"How?" Ginny asked, eyes narrowing.

"Draco" Sarah replied, "and before you say not to trust him, you will just have to trust me on that one"

Ginny crossed her arms. "For someone still engaged to my brother, you have been awfully cozy with that Death Eater. What exactly is going on between the two of you?"

"You are not supposed to know that I am still engaged to your brother and that is none of your business who I am friends with" Sarah retorted. "If Fred doesn't mind, you shouldn't either"

"Have you told him?"

"No, of course not! You know I can't have contact with him..."

"Wow, that's convenient for you, isn't it?"

"Um, ladies?" Neville interrupted before their disagreement erupted into a duel. He knew both girls had a nasty temper on them. "We are getting off task here. The sword. Harry. Focus"

"You are right" Sarah responded. "I have a plan...we just have to hope it works because if Snape finds out" she shuddered, "it would suck"

* * *

Sarah knew the first step of getting into Snape's office undetected was to make sure the Carrows were out of the picture. They tended to sneak around, keeping careful watch over the Gryffindors and three Gryffindors (or 2 Gryffindors and 1 forbidden to be called Gyffindor) making their way to the entrance of Snape's office would immediately be detected as suspicious. To combat that pesky issue, Sarah pulled out her contraband from Fred. They looked like candy and she knew both Carrows liked a piece now and then, especially when grading papers. She managed to drop them on their desk, knowing they would reach for it when they graded papers that night. So, when they sneaked into Snape's office, the Carrows would be too busy vomiting and running a fever to notice. She shoved the leftover three pieces in her pocket. Then, Ginny and Neville enlisted some DA members to release a portable swamp and have Wiggles alert Snape right away. While Snape left to take care of the situation, Sarah, Neville and Ginny broke into his office. The plan fell into place with such ease that Sarah immediately felt victorious and more than proud that she was following her pranking fiancee's footsteps.

"There it is" Sarah gasped as she approached the sword. "All along- he had it"

"Let's get it and go" Neville said.

"Do you think it is spell protected?" Ginny asked.

Sarah pulled out her wand and assessed the situation. "Yes, but I have undone charms like this before. Give me some time"

"Just hurry up" Ginny replied and Sarah went to work, pulling from her knowledge of what Snape taught her about these types of protective charms. She was just about to crack it, when a door slammed and the three students jumped.

"Have you figured it out yet, Black?" his voice was silky. Sarah swung around to look in his irate eyes.

"I just needed 30 more seconds and I would have had it" Sarah responded, her expression crestfallen that her plan had fallen apart and they didn't have the sword Harry needed. "This sword is..."

"Property of Hogwarts of which I am the head" Snape swept over to his desk and took a seat behind it. "You three. Sit now" Snape conjured three chairs in front of his desk and at his stern expression, the three decided to obey and quickly.

Snape pointed to Sarah. "I _knew_ when Wiggles told me of the situation that you were behind it. Portable swamp?" Snape shook his head. "If you insist on being conniving, at least do not be obvious about it"

"Yet you still left your office" Sarah shrugged in response. "So, it worked"

"Until I passed the hospital ward, Black" his eyes met hers. "The Carrows insist they were poisoned. And they suspect you"

"Me?" Sarah squeaked. "Why me?"

"Why indeed?" Snape's eyes never left hers, the two ignoring Ginny and Neville, who were growing more and more uncomfortable. "Of course, Poppy told them it was a virus knowing full well it was not...she would protect you to the grave, but they insisted their illness followed a piece or two of candy they had eaten. It was then that I knew that not only you were behind it, but you were up to something. That is when I returned"

Sarah squirmed. "But why would they think I did it? I didn't do anything"

"You insufferable brat! You know better than to lie to me" Snape gritted his teeth. "they were _looking_ for a reason for me to turn your detention over to them and what better justification if you had wronged them in such a manner...they don't need proof, all they need is the accusation and they know that"

"You wouldn't" Sarah bit her lip. "Would you?"

"I'm sorely tempted" Snape glared at her as he touched his fingers together. He turned to the other two students. "Detention with Hagrid. 7 pm tomorrow night, but before then I will see each of you 30 minutes prior and we will discuss it then. Leave now before I decide to hand you off to the Carrows for their discipline"

Neville glanced at Sarah's pale face and she nodded. "It's ok. Go on" Neville and Ginny left quickly and Snape shut the door behind them with his wand.

"Now, Black " Snape's voice was low. "What would possess you to do something like this when you were being so cooperative in the first place?"

Sarah's head snapped up. "The sword, Snape. It's Harry's"

"So you insist-"

"So Dumbledore insists...he left it to him in his will" Sarah's eyes sparked. "You really think that I actually would ever consider just going along with all of _this?_ I had to"

"The sword is property of Hogwarts, Black. It..."

"Should never be in the office of a Slytherin death eater!" Sarah yelled, her temper snapping.

"And where would you have it, Black?" Snape smirked, "lying around in the Gyrffindor common room? Maybe your friends could practice being heroes with it at night before bedtime..."

Sarah seethed. "You know, Snape...there are moments in my life when you make it so perfectly natural for me to hate you!"

"And you aren't the innocent doll that everyone insists you are" Snape retorted. "But enough of this. The Carrows are going to be released from the hospital soon and they are coming here to convince me once again that you poisoned them. Tell me why I should save you from them when you break into my office and try to steal from me?"

"But I didn't..."

Snape slapped his palms on his desk and stood. "Stand up now. Turn out your pockets"

Her stomach sunk and her feet felt like lead as she did was he commanded. Snape held out his hand palm up and she dropped the candy into his palm.

He stared at them. "You needed them indisposed so they wouldn't catch you sneaking in here so you could steal the sword for Potter. You essentially did poison them"

"It's not poison" Sarah protested. "That's a bit of an exaggeration..."

"Tell that to them who have been vomiting with a fever for the past hour!" Snape handed them back to her. "Eat them and see how they make you feel without the luxury of an antidote handy"

"But Madam Pomfrey did heal them" Sarah knew her argument was weak.

"And she will not heal you" Snape's voice was firm. "Go on"

"But" Sarah's stomach dropped when she saw Snape wasn't budging from his punishment. "The dosage is double what I should have. I'm going to get really sick"

"Yes you are" Snape replied. "And the Carrows will see how ill you are and think that there is a nasty virus going around. You are saved and as a side benefit of my plan, you are punished for trying to yet again steal from me"

"But" Sarah licked her lips, which suddenly felt quite dry. "You promised by mum that you wouldn't harm me"

"And I'm not forcing them down your throat" Snape responded, firmly. "You took them yourself. Promise kept. Go on, now"

"Uncle Sev...please don't make me do this!" Sarah changed tactics. "I hate sicking up. You know that"

"So imagine how the Carrows felt..." Snape retorted. "And don't _Uncle Sev_ me. You keep forgetting that doesn't invoke warm and fuzzy feelings to get me to bend to your will. You did this to them and now, you will do it to yourself. Fair is fair."

She bit down the hurt of Snape's rejection once again, instead focusing on the Carrows.

"But they are evil!" Sarah yelled. "I'm not! They deserve it and so much more!"

"But in spite of that, it is clear" Snape's voice turned calm and quiet. "that you don't have the moral advantage in this situation. Go on, Sarah"

Sarah slowly unwrapped the candy wrappers and took them one by one- two Puking Pastilles and one Fever Fudge and popped them in her mouth, chewing them slowly and with dread. Snape picked up a waste bin and handed it to her, taking the seat next to her. Sure enough, she began vomiting and became wracked with chills and fever. It had just started when the Carrows arrived.

"What is wrong with her?" Amycus asked as they stood by the doorway when they saw what was happening.

"Same thing that I think happened to you" Snape replied. "What Poppy said- a virus. A nasty one at that" Snape spoke up over her wretches.

"Shouldn't you send her to the hospital ward?" the sister asked.

Snape gave a small smile. "Perhaps. But you were right that Black needs to be brought down a notch or two. So, she will stay here without Poppy's healing touch"

Amycus grinned as he stuffed his pudgy hands in his pockets. "Sorry to doubt your methods. Clearly you have the situation under control"

"You would be wise to remember that" Snape replied smoothly. "Now, if there is nothing else, I think Black needs a bigger basin here"

The Carrows both wrinkled up their noses. "We will just leave you to it"

When they had left, Snape turned to her. "Let's get you to my quarters and in bed. Do you think you can walk?"

Sarah tried to swallow down the nausea. "Maybe"

She did make it and was so relieved to sink into bed even though the chills, sweats, vomiting and general misery was still hitting full force. Snape cleaned up after her each time and held her head up to drink water. When she couldn't keep that down, he spelled fluids into her to keep her hydrated.

"Please heal me" Sarah finally begged him, out of pathetic desperation for it all to end, but Snape shook his head. "A little longer and it will be out of your system"

"Why are you doing this to me?" she cried as she threw up for what seemed like the billionth time. Snape had never left her for one minute since it started and she knew it must not be pleasant for him either.

Snape didn't respond right away, but he remained with her until it passed and he helped her lay down and pulled up the covers. She was falling asleep, when he finally responded to her question- knowing she probably wouldn't remember it in the future.

"There is a fine line between darkness and light, Black. You can pass it off as a prank, but you did essentially poison two of your professors. Maybe you will think twice between crossing that line again, no matter what your justification"

"Says the Death Eater and killer" Sarah muttered.

"Yes, but I always am determined to have you be the better of the two of us, Black"

"I didn't think of it that way" Sarah responded, sleep about to claim her. "I just need the sword for Harry..I have to get it to him somehow" She began to snore.

Snape smoothed the covers over her. "In due time, Sarah Grace. In due time"

Up next: Enemies force Snape to cross a line and Sarah encounters Voldemort once again.


	25. Lines

**A/N:** Thanks to those who have reviewed the previous chapter. I always love hearing what you all think. CP warning...nothing graphic but the implications are not pretty.

**Chapter 25: Lines**

Sarah knew she only had a few more days left at Hogwarts before she turned the magic 17 and the trace was taken off of her. After the debacle with the sword, she was determined to stay out of trouble and quietly sneak away to join Harry, but unfortunately, the forces seemed to be working against her lately- actually all the time.

"I think we are going to make a few changes today in the practical portion of our lesson" Amycus Carrow rubbed together his pudgy hands, his beady eyes upon her making her cringe. She couldn't quite read his expression, but she knew something was going on. She wracked her brain for anything that she could have done in the past few days that would warrant his wrath, but besides the candy incident, which they still believed was a virus, she came up with nothing.

"Black" he clapped his hands. "Cruciatus" he looked around as he paused dramatically. "On _Parkinson_"

Sarah forced herself to maintain her composure and clear her mind to reveal nothing. A quick glance at Pansy revealed a smirk. Her heart sunk- Pansy _knew_ the game she and the DA were playing in Dark Arts class. How did she find _that _out? And now what was she to do?

Neville stiffened beside her and gently nudged her arm. A look at Draco revealed a discreet nod. She could read his mind so clearly then- he was drawing her into his thoughts.

_Don't play the hero. She hates you. Just do it. Do it for real. The consequences are more than you can ever imagine if you do not. Sarah, please._

Sarah's snapped her head towards Carrow, indecisiveness tearing her apart. Pansy was cruel at times. She did hate her. But to use an unforgivable for real- at full strength? Did she really deserve that? But Pansy had her just where she wanted her- in an impossible situation.

Carrow's eyes were on her. "Is there a problem, Black?"

Sarah stepped forward and pointed her wand towards Pansy. Gathering her strength, she opened her mouth to utter the curse...only to find herself snapping it shut and pocketing her wand. She shrugged. "I just can't do it" she mumbled.

"Really?" Carrow stepped forward to grab her arm, squeezing it tightly to the point that she winced. "You see I find that surprising. You have demonstrated since the start of the term curses on your supposed friends...but you won't do it to the person who you hate?"

Sarah tried to twist away but Carrow held her fast. "Unless, Black...you have been faking it." He let her go abruptly and strode over to his desk, levitating a note towards her. "I found this on my desk today. Care to explain?"

Sarah commanded herself to clear her mind as she read the note outlining exactly the deception she had performed since the beginning of term. She looked up again. "You have no proof that this is true"

"Really?" Carrow smiled at her. "Then curse her and prove it isn't...oh yes, you _just can't do it"_ He paused to glance at the other students, a warning in his eyes. "I don't need proof, Black. The Dark Lord will see your defiance as proof enough"

Sarah shuddered and Carrow pounced. "Oh yes, he will know about this. But don't fear, I'll handle your discipline before I turn you over to him. Maybe he will show you mercy..." he laughed hysterically at his own joke, "or maybe not"

He grabbed her arm and started to drag her to the hidden room for her to wait until class was over, but Draco ran forward, thinking on his feet.

"_Stop_"

Carrow turned to him like he was insane to question his decision, but Draco quickly and smoothly clarified. "The Dark Lord has commanded Snape deal with Black. He won't like you defying him no matter your intentions. Are you willing to risk his displeasure for this blood traitor?"

Carrow paused, contemplating his words. "Thank you, Mr. Malfoy. You are correct in that. Best not to risk it for this filthy blood traitor. Black" he released her arm and strode over to his desk, scribbling furiously on a parchment. "Give that to the Headmaster. Go immediately"

Sarah took the note from his hand and walked past her classmates to grab her bag and without looking back, she headed out the door, closing it firmly behind her. It was only then that she stopped to lean against the wall outside the classroom, her legs wobbling like they were hit with 12 jelly leg curses. Her heart was beating so quickly, it felt like it might explode. She tried to catch her breath, but she was losing the battle as panic was beginning to overcome her. She knew Carrow would check to make sure she left, so she managed to walk on her shaky legs the distance to Snape's office, mumble the password and drag herself up the steps. She knocked.

"Enter"

Snape was at his desk, his quill scratching on parchments scattered around his desk. Without looking up, he grunted impatiently, "yes?"

Sarah tried to speak, really she did. But she found that she couldn't. It was like after all this time of trying to be brave, she had finally lost the battle.

Snape looked up, annoyed. "Oh, Black" He was genuinely surprised to see her. "What's going on? Shouldn't you be in Dark Arts class?" he asked, the annoyance leaving his voice at her expression and her nervous shaking.

She mumbled, "I have a note"

Snape's eyes never left hers, him desperately trying to read her behavior. "Well, hand it over" he finally prompted as he held out his hand.

Sarah took a breath and using her wandless magic, banished the note towards him, it erratically swaying across the room until it landed at the right corner of his desk, instead of in his hand.

Snape rolled his eyes at her. "Really, Black. When I said hand it, I meant hand it. Using wandless magic when you are so jittery" he chided as he reached for the note. He read it swiftly, a deep frowning forming.

His head snapped up, his eyes furious. "What have you done, Sarah?"

"I.."

"Stop, mumbling this instance and talk to me!" Snape barked at her. "We don't have much time. Did you do this?"

"What do you think?" Sarah retorted, finding her voice.

"Of all the blasted idiotic things to do!" he groaned. "Do you care so little for your welfare?" Snape slammed the note down on his desk, the books rattling and shaking. "She hates you. You knew it was a trap- most likely set up by Parkinson herself. You knew that refusal to do so would confirm what you had been doing all term. After all that girl has done to you- to ridicule you, what she did to your hair... all you had to do was cast the curse. Why couldn't you just cast the damn curse, Black?"

"Pansy might be a nuisance and may have done terrible things to me, but she has never physically harmed me. I couldn't do it. That's not who I am" Tears sprung to her eyes. "I cannot be someone I'm not. You know that. How can you scold me for that?"

Snape let out an exasperated sigh. "Even if it is to save your own self?"

She shrugged again and Snape knew he was getting nowhere with her and truthfully, he knew that she was right. Her using the cruciatus for real on a classmate would forever alter her. But now, it was time to deal with the aftermath. His mind worked quickly through his options and there was only one he could come up with. But this horrible choice- it would widen the rift between them and plague him for the rest of his days. Just like what happened with Dumbledore.

Still, he pressed on. Taking his usual long strides, he swept over to where she was standing. His hand reached out for her. He hesitated, pulled it back slightly, before reaching out more confidently and grasping her chin, lifting it up. "Would you rather myself or Carrow or the Dark Lord handle this situation?" His voice was calm. "You cannot get out of the consequences- I cannot shield you from them"

Sarah wanted to back away from his touch, but there was something so comforting in the way he was holding her chin up. It was the way he often handled her as her father. She didn't move. "I'm not sure I understand..." her voice trailed at the implications. Would Snape actually curse her?

"Blast it, I'm not giving you a choice. My discipline is better than the others, but" Snape's hand was still on her chin. "I promised myself and your mother that I would never cross this line with you, Sarah. But don't you understand, if I handle your discipline, I have to or the others will do much worse. It might be the only way to soften their reaction towards you"

"You are going to use the cruciatus or some other horrible dark spell on me?" Sarah's voice broke at the thought and Snape shook his head swiftly, adamantly. "No, I will never do that to you. I promise you that, Sarah. It will be more of the what you should expect from me- of how I handle students your age, except" Snape hesitated slightly, before continuing, "harsher, stronger, longer, more intense"

He released her chin and swept back over to his desk, turning away from her so she could not see his expression. He was finding it difficult to shield his emotions from her. But he knew he must get a handle on it and quickly- before Carrow arrived.

His voice was low as he continued. "There must be evidence that my discipline was effective...otherwise the Dark Lord won't hesitate to leave evidence and his is much more dire than mine. Do you understand my meaning?"

Her throat felt incredibly parched as his meaning dawned on her. She cradled her hand with her other hand. The same hand that Snape had healed after Umbridge had left her mark...he was going to now leave his mark on it? Her heart tore in two. This was more evidence that this Snape was never her father. Her father would have never done this to her...no matter what.

"I'm not sure" the tears threatened as she stared at her shoes, "I can handle that" she whispered.

Snape's heart lurched as he squeezed his eyes shut. He was about to respond, but they were interrupted by a knock on the door.

He turned almost wildly at the sound. "Look me in the eyes" he hissed at her. Sarah's head jerked up to meet his eyes.

"You don't have a choice" he replied calmly, his demeanor changing from detached to soothing. His demeanor helped to calm her swirling emotions. "Clear your mind during. Detach yourself. You are the strongest almost 17 year old I know. You will do this. And afterwards, I will help you. It is the only way"

But his comfort was momentary as Carrow strode in, ready to witness Snape's discipline in action.

* * *

Snape watched the tears roll slowly down her face. He was aware of her knees shaking ever so slightly as she tried to keep standing straight. He listened to her hitched breath, her ragged breathing attempting to cover up the sobs that were welling deep inside of her, threatening to break free. He was cognizant of every tear, every movement, every sound, every change in expression. And the more he continued to inflict pain to satisfy the others, the more Sarah's reaction hinted at a vulnerability and a betrayal that reminded him that while she was days away from adulthood, her heart was still very much his little girl's. And because of that, he had to use every power of occlumency to hide his agony at the sounds and the sights he was witnessing and to play the role he was so coerced to play. He continued on, more and more aware of the redness and harsh marks that were appearing on her hand. Still he forced himself to continue. When he finally could not bear it any longer, feeling that his entire being was being torn to pieces, he stopped. He only hoped the length and harshness had satisfied Carrow. He only knew that he could not go on. Still, he forced his voice to remain harsh with her.

"Go sit over there and do try to get yourself under control, Black. And try not to make too much noise as you do"

She obeyed immediately, her eyes haunted and showing betrayal and Snape turned to Carrow. "Well, does that suffice?"

Carrow narrowed his eyes. "For me, but as you know, the Dark Lord is harder to please. Before I came, I made him aware of the situation-"

"You did what?" Snape's eyes sparked as he swept over to where Carrow was standing, towering over him. "I am headmaster of this school, not you..." he growled at him.

"And it was my class that she has made a mockery of this entire semester" Carrow replied. "It was my prerogative to contact the Dark Lord, as he ordered, if Black showed defiance in this particular area of her education. Which I did. I'm sure he will be pleased with the way you handled the situation...but still, he wants to see her at 7 pm- the usual place"

"Fine" Snape turned back around. "She will be there. I will see to it. You are dismissed" He waved a hand, and Carrow left. Snape uttered protective, silencing charms as he approached Sarah, tentatively. He longed to provide her the comfort she always craved from him as her father, but his words would have to suffice.

"Black" his voice was low.

"No" Sarah's head shot up. "Just don't say anything. I don't want to hear it" She stood, cradling her sore hand against her. "Can I be dismissed, sir?"

Snape opened his mouth to protest, but thought better of it. She had every right to shut him out in this moment. Instead he nodded his consent. "Be back here at 6:30. There are things I want to do to prepare you. Don't be late"

Sarah's eyes were vacant. "Yes, sir" she said automatically and hastily left his office, without a glance back.

Snape watched her flee, before turning to enter his quarters. He went straight to his bandy decanter, filling up a large glass and taking some rather big gulps before throwing the contents of the glass against the wall. His body shook as he sat down in his chair, but that reminded him of all the times throughout the years he sat there as a father, so he left the room, for the sanctuary of his bedroom. He used his wandless magic to fling the books off the bed, them crashing into the wall, disturbing several pictures there.

A picture floated out of one of the books, landing next to his foot. He levitated it up and stared at the picture he had just been looking at the night before- Sarah and Grace...

He sat on the bed in a daze, staring at the picture. Finally, he crumbled up the picture in his hand, holding it against his chest...allowing the bitter sobs to overtake him. _What had he done_? And defeated he realized, it was all for nothing. Voldemort would still surely be harsh with her, he hadn't spared her from that. But he knew one thing, he would never be able to ever forgive himself for crossing the line with her. He marked her hand with harshness and detachment just like Umbridge did. How he hated Umbridge for what she did to his adopted daughter. How he hated himself even more for what he did today

* * *

Sarah rushed down the stairs from the Headmaster's office, tears blinding her vision. She stumbled on one of the steps, but caught herself from falling at the last minute. She made it to the bottom and left the gargoyle only to find Draco waiting, leaning against the wall. She wondered how long he had waited, but she knew in her heart, the minute he was dismissed from class, he had come here to wait for her. That was Draco.

She wanted to rush right into his arms, to bury her head in his chest and have him erase the agony of the past half an hour. But instead, she paused in front of him.

"Can you take me somewhere quiet- separate from everyone?" her very demeanor was timid- so unlike her.

He studied her carefully and his eyes moved to the way she was holding her hand. He moved to take her other arm. "Come with me. Let's go some place safe" He lead her gently through the hallways, up the staircases, to the room of requirement.

They sat on the couch together and Draco positioned himself so he was facing her. Gripping her knees, he turned her towards him. Sarah lifted her legs to rest them on the couch, sitting crossed legged.

He reached for her hand that she was holding so close to her body.

"Don't say anything" Sarah said as his face hardened at the sight of her reddened hand. "Please, Draco"

"Don't say anything? There is no way this won't bruise" Draco responded, angrily. "Snape did this to you? How could he? How could he hurt you like this?"

"He knew that if he didn't, I would be turned over to the Carrows or to you know who himself" Sarah's tears pooled in her eyes. "He believed this would soften their reaction"

"There must have been another option" Draco argued. "Anything...he could have hidden you- helped you run away. Anything but this"

"That would have accomplished nothing" Sarah retorted, her hand still limp in Draco's.

"Then he should have stood in front of you and taken it for you!" Draco replied, harshly. "Instead of doing this" He rubbed her hand, gently, a stark contrast to his demeanor.

Sarah raised an eyebrow. "Like you did when you-know-who cursed me?"

Draco's face reddened. "It is what I should have done" he replied, bitterly. "If only I was more of a man for you..."

Sarah shook her head. "No, it isn't what you should have done. This is my battle. It's my fight" She tapped his cheek gently with her good hand. "And please don't doubt yourself. You are a good man- a strong man"

Draco snorted, but instead of rubbing her hand, he began to tenderly caress it. "A death eater, Sarah"

"You aren't in your heart" Sarah replied firmly. "You only became one to protect your family and when it came down to it, you couldn't become a killer unlike" she paused and frowned. Her lip trembled.

"It really was all a lie, wasn't it?" The tears began to fall. "If Snape had ever cared, you are right, he would have found another way"

Draco released her hand. "Come here" He opened his arms and Sarah didn't hesitate. She buried her face in his shoulder as he rubbed her back, massaging it gently.

After a few minutes of silence, Sarah pulled away, her breath becoming ragged from crying. "You know it's just that in spite of what I know, I can't make Snape wholly evil- not like you-know-who or the Carrows or Bellatrix. How could I? I still have so memories of what he was like before all of this. It was like I have always hoped that I would wake up and find out that this was a dream. And even now, I want to justify his behavior, but I can't"

"You shouldn't" Draco told her. "He is my godfather and I love him, but you shouldn't make excuses for him"

"It's just" Sarah looked embarrassed. "I still love him, Draco. I do. I tried to stop, but I can't. And what does that say about me? I'm so pathetic. I hate myself"

Draco reached out to run his hand through her shortened hair, stroking it gently. Her vulnerability with him stirred an emotion he had tried to keep buried.

"And you-know-who will probably kill me tonight anyway" Sarah bit her lip. "And I find myself wanting it...wishing for it"

"He asked for you?" Draco's voice was hoarse.

Sarah nodded and he cupped her face. "Run. I'll help you. You've got to run" Sarah could see the panic in his eyes.

She leaned into his hand. "No, it is really for the best. I am pathetic and I don't want this anymore"

"No!" Draco grabbed her face roughly. "How can you say that?"

"I just feel so shattered right now" Sarah replied, shrugging.

"I know that" he told her as he moved his hands to rest behind her neck. He twined them together. "But you see, I love you. And I refuse to let you give up"

Sarah sighed and closed her eyes, drinking in his closeness. When she opened them again, Draco had again moved his hands, but this time to finger her lips.

"I want to kiss you so badly right now" he whispered.

Her heart skipped a beat, maybe two. She couldn't deny, she wanted that too. "You really shouldn't"

"I know" Draco responded. "But will you let me anyway? Just this once?"

She didn't trust herself to speak, but she gave her consent with a nod.

He scooted closer to her, bridging the already small gap between them. His lips met hers as he kissed her softly, before deepening it. He could feel her hesitation. She was so timid in her response.

He moved to kiss her forehead. He leaned his forehead against hers. "If this is not what you want..."

Sarah breathed deeply. "I'm scared that it is very much what I want right now. But if I let myself kiss you back, then it means that all the things that have always made sense to me, don't make sense anymore. It means that this is always what I wanted and I'm not sure that is something I can face right now"

"You over think things, Black" Draco chided as he rubbed his forehead against hers. "You always have"

"That's true" she admitted. "But..."

"Shhh" Draco kissed her again. "Kiss me back. It's only me and you right here. And it will never leave this room. Do what you want, love. Not what you think you should do"

He kissed her more intensely and instead of hesitating this time, she matched it. She moved her hands up and down his back before gripping the bottom of his hair. He snaked his hand under her bottom to push her up on his lap, her legs wrapping around him. He reached underneath her shirt to massage her back. And sitting like that, they kissed as if the past had never happened, as if this was what was meant to be all along. They lived in the moment, holding each other tightly, wanting to erase all the pain that they had both been through. After a few minutes, they finally broke off the kiss.

"I want you now more than ever" Draco whispered in her ear. "But we have to stop at a kiss. It's the only way I can control myself"

"I know" Sarah replied. "We have to stop" she repeated. Still sitting on his lap, she was aware that he did want her and want her very much. It stirred her to make her want to go places she had never gone before, but in her heart, she knew he was right.

"A kiss we can explain away, but more..." Draco squeezed her. "It's too important. You're too important. I want you, but I want you when you are completely free to want me back. Your guilty conscious can be such a nuisance at times" he teased. "And the best friend of the chosen one shagging a death eater while engaged to another would surely conjure that nuisance of a conscious"

She rolled her eyes. "You can joke, Malfoy, but the truth is, you are too much of a gentleman to do anything with me given our circumstances" She paused, before continuing quietly, "I still don't completely know what I want, Draco"

"I know" Draco gently untangled her from him and lifted her up to slide her back to her spot on the couch. "You'll figure it out eventually. You're good like that."

"You think?"

"I do" he smiled tenderly at her.

"You know I might not have a choice" Sarah looked at her hands and frowned at its continued redness. "Snape told me that if you know who wins, he wants me to marry you"

Draco swallowed hard at the thought. "Snape told you that?"

"He thinks that you-know-who wants us to conceive the future generation" she scowled at the thought.

"No" Draco shook his head hard, adamantly. "I don't want you to marry a Death Eater even if it is me...you couldn't live with it and I couldn't live with it either. You deserve better than all of this. And I would never want you to be scared into having sex with me. It should be special"

Sarah shuffled in her chair and stood up to stretch. "You know everyone says that...but I wonder sometimes if it is just an excuse not to. I mean, you and Pansy, Fred and Angelina, but both of you are so careful not to go too far with me. Sometimes, it just makes me feel that I'm not good enough...pretty enough...sexy enough for you to actually want me in that way"

Draco stood and put his arms around her waist. "You must know that it utter rubbish" he said, huskily. "I don't even want to think of Weasley in that context with you, but I know for me...I have wanted to have you since I was fourteen years old. And in the past few years I have thought of you in that way often. And there is nothing I want more at this moment. But the problem is...sex with you is more than teenage hormones for me. And it is not something I would ever want you to look back and regret one day. Does that make sense?"

Sarah wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder. "I suppose as long as one of those things that I'm just not good enough...kind of like with Snape."

Draco squeezed her. "He really has screwed you up, hasn't he?" When she didn't respond, he continued, "In case you still have any doubt of your overall desirability to teenage boys at least, I will give you this to think about. When we were snogging just then, it took every ounce of my self control not to slide my hand further down your pants...and then around" his eyes sparked mischievously and Sarah's face grew red in response as she pictured the movement.

"You are really cute when you get embarrassed, Black" Draco teased. Her face grew even more red and Draco kissed each cheek and then her forehead. Taking pity on her, he changed the subject.

"But let's not talk about this anymore, or him, or the Dark Lord. We have a while since you have to go back to it. Let me just hold you for a while and try not to think about anything"

"That sounds perfect" They snuggled back on the couch and for the next few hours, they just didn't think about anything of importance...sometimes making small talk. Sarah ended falling asleep, her head against his chest. She slept so peacefully, that Draco just watched her- wishing he could always provide that for her. And fearing what was to come next for her.

**Up next**: Snape prepares Sarah and she meets with Voldemort.

A/n: So Snape crossed the line with Sarah and Sarah & Draco kissed...crossing the line considering she is engaged. I think I'm ready for the story to get happier again...but Voldemort is just so evil and Snape is trapped. So I guess there has to be more darkness before it gets better. I would love to know what you guys thought of the chapter.


	26. Facing Consequences

A/N: Sorry for the delay again! Husband got a job, so we moved into our new place. I feel like we are finally getting settled again. And we found out last week that we are having a baby boy! So, now we will have one of each. Hopefully we can get more written of this story before I'm faced with caring for a two year old and a newborn! :)

**Chapter 26: Facing consequences**

Sarah and Draco spent the afternoon together in the Room of Requirement, neither of them eager to be apart from each other. They skipped their afternoon classes without a second thought. They skipped dinner in the Great Hall and instead ate together the food Wiggles brought them. When they could deny the clock no longer, Sarah insisted that she had to leave to get ready for her meeting. Draco waited while she rushed back to the Slytherin quarters for a quick shower, dried her hair, changed her clothes. She put an flowered embellished headband on and surveyed herself in the mirror. Her hand was still raw- Snape had really gone on and on forever with that blasted ruler and the force he put behind it was not like before. With a final stroke through the ends of her hair, she grabbed her wand from her bed and put it in her pocket. Well, if she was going to her death with Voldemort, she might as well look cute while doing it.

Draco was reading in the common room as he waited for her- the other kids at the evening meal. He looked up at her, studying her thoroughly.

He stood. "You look nice" he went over to kiss her cheek. "Why are you looking so nice for him?" he whispered.

"It makes me feel good" Sarah replied. "You know in case something happens"

Draco gripped the side of her face. "Don't talk like that. We don't know he will do that"

Sarah gently twined her hand through his other hand and tugged it. "Come on. Walk with me to Snape's. I don't want to be late"

Hand in hand, they walked up the stairs to the main floor and past the gargoyle, up the stairs to Snape's office, where the door flung open out of its own accord.

"You're early" Snape drawled from his perch on the end of his desk. He straightened and walked over to greet them. His eyes narrowed at the sight of Sarah's hand tucked firmly in Draco's.

"Well" Sarah responded flippantly, "I thought you might get that ruler out if I wasn't and I doubt my hand can take it tonight"

Sarah thought she saw a flash of pain before he schooled his features again, but she knew that must just be an illusion- wishful thinking that Snape would be actually remorseful.

"I might" Snape retorted. "Now, Draco, I'm sure you have quite a few things to say to me, but that will have to wait until later tonight."

"I'd rather stay here until she leaves, thank you" Draco replied, standing a bit taller.

Severus knew that his godson would be upset by what happened so he wasn't surprised to see Draco become protective of his niece. But what disturbed him was the accusatory look he was given him. Draco knew the game he was forced to play and his discipline never crossed the line before, surely, Draco knew that from experience with him as his godfather, but also in the past seven years as head of Slytherin. However, apparently, he had forgotten that. Snape steeled himself for a battle.

"I don't believe I gave you a choice, Mr. Malfoy" Snape's eyes met his, evenly, his tone allowing no argument. "Go wait in my quarters. We will talk later. Say your goodbyes to Sarah"

Sarah noticed the tension between Snape and Draco and while she wanted Draco to give Snape hell for what he did, there was something about Snape's demeanor that made her want to keep the peace for a while.

Sarah dropped his hand. "It's ok, Draco. I'll be ok"

Draco turned to face her, his back to Snape. "Are you sure? If you need me here, I don't mind whatever consequences..."

"I'm sure" Sarah assured him. "Please don't get in trouble for me"

Draco frowned. "I'll wait for you in Snape's quarters. I won't leave until you're back and safe. I promise"

Spontaneously, not caring what Snape thought, Sarah leaned over and gripped Draco's shoulders and kissed him lightly on the lips. "You're a good friend, Draco Malfoy. You have always been. Thank you"

Draco gave her a small smile. "Not as good as you are to me, I'm afraid. Later, Black" He kissed her forehead and then turned around to head to Snape's quarters.

Once he left, Sarah turned to Snape, and placed a hand on her hip. "Don't say anything about that" she demanded, fiercely.

Snape raised an eyebrow. "I wouldn't dare. We have more important matters to discuss. Come have a seat" He gestured towards a chair in front of his desk.

Sarah walked across the room and sat down in the chair, not looking back. "Well, what do you want to discuss with me?" Sarah shifted in her chair. "Is it how I shouldn't be snotty to the Dark Lord? Got it." She crossed her legs and continued. "How I should be contrite? Got it. How he probably won't kill me but will probably use dark magic on me? Got that too."

She folded her hands on her knees and asked him confidently, "What could we possibly have to discuss?"

Snape stared at her from his spot on the edge of his desk, trying to read her behavior. Finally, he said sternly, "Do not be reckless, especially with your future, Sarah"

"And if I am, Headmaster?" Sarah moved her hands to grip the edges of the chair. "Listen, I know why you did what you did earlier, but I have every right to be pissed at you for it"

Snape crossed his arms. "You don't think some discipline wasn't warranted?"

"Discipline, yes, I suppose you would have to for that...but never once, have you ever been abusive towards me. And this mark, here" Sarah dramatically waved her hand in the air, but too quickly for Snape to actually see the effects of his discipline, "well, I don't know why you didn't just let Carrow or the Dark Lord handle it, because I would have rather had dark magic used on me than my former father doing that to me"

Snape continued to watch her carefully. "You do remember I am a Death Eater, do you not? I could have used dark magic on you if not for the vow I made with your mother. I have certainly used it on others before. I thought I was sparing you- protecting you"

"I don't want your protection. I want nothing to do with you" Sarah retorted angrily. "I thought you were different. I'm so stupid"

Snape started at that revelation. He knew that there were moments even after Dumbledore's death that he had been gentler with her, but surely, she didn't doubt his allegiance even if part of him really wanted her to.

His voice was low when he answered her. "Sarah, you have known the truth about me for a while now. Why are you still insisting on making me redeemable when clearly I am not?"

Sarah jumped up. "Because the alternative is unbearable for me! Don't you get that? I would rather think there is a possibility of this being wrong than what you keep telling me is true. Erasing 6 years of my life hasn't been easy. And there are times when you remind me of how it was before you killed Dumbledore. So, yeah, I would rather you have let Carrow or the Dark Lord have reign with me because I can make them completely evil in my mind. I can't do that for you. I don't want to"

Snape stood very still for a few minutes as Sarah paced around the chair. Finally he responded quietly, "I don't know what you want me to say"

"Do you care what I want?" Sarah retorted through tears. "I don't think so. Let's just get on with it"

Snape knew he had to drop it for both of their sakes.

"Sit back down then" He went over to his desk and pulled out a box. He opened it, pulled out an object and snapped it shut. "Your mother's ring. I want you to wear it. It has been charmed as a portkey, which the Dark Lord knows about that and its password, but it has also been charmed to take you back to Snape Manor. If you feel like he is going to kill you, don't hesitate. The password is Grace. Use it and we will arrange for you to be hidden for the duration of the war"

He walked over and sat beside her. "Let me see your hand" Sarah hesitated only briefly, before holding out her hand. Sarah could have sworn he flinched slightly, but she knew that wasn't possible.

Snape put the ring on her finger. "Sarah" his voice was pained and at the tone, Sarah's heart started to thaw again, before she quickly hardened it. "I am sorry for this. I may be a death eater and truly horrid all around, but I would never want to hurt you..."

"I get it" Sarah nodded. "You don't want to hurt me physically, but emotionally that's another story"

Snape wanted to offer his own retort to that, but he stopped himself. "Password is pureblood to get you to where the Dark Lord is. I'll see you when you get home. Be careful. I don't think you will need to use the ring tonight, but you never know when it will come in handy"

"Thank you" Sarah touched the ring, mumbled and she was off.

* * *

Sarah activated the portkey, which took her to Malfoy Manor's library. The queasy feeling in her stomach from the portkey and facing Voldemort was almost overwhelming. She planted her legs and tried to quell the feeling as the room spun around her.

"The room settled yet?"

Sarah jumped as her eyes adjusted to the dim light. And then she saw him, sitting on the couch and she forced herself to practice her occlumency, though her heart was still racing. _What would he do to her?_ Looking around the room, she noticed that they were alone.

"I think so" She wrinkled her nose. "Traveling by portkey is not my favorite"

"Indeed" Voldemort responded. "But let us cease with the pleasantries and get straight to business. Come closer, child" he instructed. "And stand before me"

Sarah moved closer, even though every bone in her body was tensing to flee.

"You look frightened, Sarah" Voldemort studied her expression carefully. "Are you frightened of me?"

"I'm not foolish. I know you have all the power right now to do what you wish with me" she retorted. "And that doesn't make me weak, if that is what you are thinking"

"It is not" he replied, his hand on his chin, a satisfied look taking over his expression. "It just means you are more amendable to what I am trying to teach you than your actions would otherwise indicate. And that pleases me greatly"

She felt a pang of guilt as Voldemort easily read her emotions and that in fact, she would do almost anything to just make the whole situation go away. He was right. The fight was out of her these days. It was a long time coming, but Snape's harshness earlier today took her over the edge. She redoubled her efforts to shield her thoughts and emotions.

Forcing a bored tone, she asked, "Can we just get the curses over with? If that is where this is going, then we should do as you say and cease with the pleasantries"

"Manners, Sarah" Voldemort admonished, with a shake of his head. "Come and show me your hand so I can see if it was severe enough punishment for your transgressions"

She stepped forward and held out her hand. She tried not to flinch away as Voldemort took it in his, his long fingers grasping it.

"Oh, Severus _was_ diligent in his discipline" He said as he studied her hand. "So red these marks. One ruler wielded this?"

"It was long and hard. And I wouldn't be surprised if he used magic to make it so" Sarah replied. "My uncle is always thorough in his discipline, sir"

"I see that" He paused rubbing her hand gently. "But still, your transgression was so severe. I told you, Sarah, to learn your studies without rebellion and yet, here you are. Are you just prone to disobedience?"

"I am a Gryffindor. Following orders doesn't come naturally for me, especially when they come from dark forces" Sarah replied, almost haughtily and Voldemort chuckled as he continued to touch her hand, "I remember that. We have to make up for that, child"

His voice turned low, changing from an almost lightness to considerably more serious. "Now tell me why I shouldn't grant the wish of several of my Death Eaters and turn you over to them. Your pedigree makes you a prime prize for breeding"

Sarah swallowed the bile that rose to her throat at the thought and tried her hardest not to flinch, but Voldemort could see even with her occlumency shields up that he had hit a nerve.

"That bothers you does it?" He commented. "So innocent- never been touched in that way, have you?"

Sarah didn't answer, and he continued, "I desire to give you to someone who will be gentle with you- a first time can be so rough on a woman, especially if their partner doesn't care to make it not so. I want you to have someone who does care. I don't have to tell you that not many of my Death Eaters would meet that qualification. They would take great pleasure in the roughness of the act- of taming you into submission with sex. I don't condone it, but I understand certain men have those impulses at time. I prefer to be gentler with my lovers, personally. If you weren't so much younger than me, I could teach you a few things in this area. But you are still so much of a child. You need someone your own age"

Sarah bit her lip, but stared ahead and didn't respond. Voldemort continued, "It would be different with one who is in love with you- Draco Malfoy, perhaps?"

"What makes you think Draco is in love with me?" Sarah finally answered as she shrugged her shoulders.

"His face when I was disciplining you last time. He tried to hide his emotions from me, but it killed him. And that roughness isn't in his nature- his mother's influence, I suppose. But as much as I wish it, if you continue to push me, I will have no choice, but to turn you over to someone else that can tame you better. Perhaps his father if I order it? Or Nott? Or Carrow? Or maybe even Wormtail could try his hand with you? Even your inane sense of bravery and justice and what is right and wrong in the world couldn't save you from that fate if I choose it, Sarah"

"Please don't" Sarah finally whispered to him and Voldemort smiled at her.

"I don't wish it, child. Truly, I don't" He dropped her hand and smoothed down her hair. "As I said before, you are still such a child, but some of my Death eaters have taken muggles younger than you. I don't have to tell you that. You are a smart girl. You just need to learn to be a bit more submissive on your own. No more leading rebellions. I give you points for the obvious leadership skills you possess- skills that I could use for our purposes. But don't side against me, Sarah. You will regret it. I will make sure you do"

"Can't you just kill me, already?" Sarah asked, tears springing to her eyes. "I'm not worth all your trouble. I promise, I'm not"

"A hint of cowardliness from our Gyrffindor lion?" he laughed at her. "come now, Sarah"

"The hat almost put me in Slytherin. Maybe that's truly where I belong" Sarah offered, haughtily.

"I believe it, but not because you are a coward. As for killing you, I would consider your offer, but you see, I need you very much alive. I have plans for you, my dear" Voldemort shook his head at her.

"Plans for me?" Sarah tried her best to keep her voice even. "What could you possibly want from me?"

Voldemort laughed again. "That's simple. I want to see the look of anguish when Potter learns that his best friend- the girl he has long regarded has a sister-has been taken from him, turned against him. I want him to see my mark burning on your flesh- to see my mentorship of you and what it produces. He would be able to accept your death more than you becoming one of us. It will shatter him and then I will win"

"So my life is spared so you can stick it to Harry?" Sarah asked, incredulously. "What makes you think he would care so much?"

"Oh he will" Voldemort responded. "I saw that in his memories at the Ministry. He showed me all those cozy times with you- all the love he had for you. Yes, he will care greatly. The betrayal will be intense. He will lose his focus. That is why you live" He paused, "Well, that and I do want you to bear children that would be raised in our way. And I will relish the day that you submit to me for real- to take all your sweetness and innocence that I find quite alluring and corrupt it for my purposes. But in the meantime, we do have to deal with your punishment"

"Are you going to curse me?"

"No, actually, I am not" Voldemort replied. "While I won't hesitate to do so in the future, I believe that you will endure anything for yourself. You need to see how your action affects others"

"Others?" Sarah whispered.

"Yes, others" Voldemort asserted. "You will take me arm and we will apparate. You will watch while myself and Bellatrix carry out a mission. And you will live with the fact that this mission was a direct consequence of your actions. Your rebellion forced me to act in this way when I might have not been inclined to do so. Whatever happens, is blood on your hands, Sarah"

"What will you do?" Sarah squealed, horrified as he stood and offered his arm to her.

"You shall see" Voldemort whispered. "Come now. Bellatrix is waiting and she can get awfully impatient"

Sarah hesitated for another second, but at Voldemort's glare she took his arm quickly and they apparated away.

* * *

Severus went into his private quarters, preparing himself for a battle with his godson. After he sent Sarah away, he had taken several minutes alone to compose himself, not quite wanting to face Draco's censure when he felt it so deeply himself. And to think of what the Dark Lord could be doing to his little girl now- well, that was unbearable.

He found Draco on the couch, his head in his hands. Severus could tell he was crying, but he knew that even with his godson whom he was close to, he had to tread carefully with his teenage male ego. Still, it spoke volumes for Draco's feeling for Sarah.

"Ahem" Severus cleared his throat and Draco raised his head, his eyes red.

"I was just um..." Draco wiped his eyes furiously and Snape held up his hand. "Don't say anything about it. I understand what you are going through. I love her too. It's only from years of training myself to hide and push aside my emotions that enables me to appear so calm"

"So you...?"

"I'm in pieces right now" Severus assured him as he sat next to him on the couch, his hand causally reaching over to grip his shoulder, squeezing it tightly. "Complete and utterly beside myself. After what I did, having to send her away to him. It's incomprehensible for me"

"She understands why you did what you did, but" Draco turned to him. "She thinks it is validation that you never left her in the first place. I thought you should know"

"I know" Severus replied, anguish evident on his face.

"You do know she wants the Dark Lord to just kill her?" Draco shook his head. "She's done with it"

Severus inhaled sharply, letting his breath out slowly. "She said that?"

"More or less" Draco responded. "You have to do something. I know you feel like you have this role you have to play and it would be too dangerous for her to know, but Uncle Sev, at this point, it's dangerous for her not to know. If she gives up, then I don't know what would happen. If Potter really needs her to win and she stops fighting the Dark Lord, then it's done. Potter depends on her even more than Weasley and Granger and we both know that he is looking for her to join them on her birthday. If she dies or just submits to the Dark Lord and Potter finds out, I think it might be over"

"I didn't" Snape stared at his hands, disturbed, "I didn't realize it had come that far. I should have suspected, but it hurt too much to think that my actions would cause her to feel that way. She really said that she wanted him to kill her?"

Draco nodded. "So what will you do?"

Severus waited a few moments before responding quietly, "I honestly don't know, Draco"

* * *

When the world settled again, she adjusted her eyes to where they were. "Hello, Sarah, darling"

Sarah stiffened as Bellatrix whispered in her ear. She had to use every ounce of self control not to reveal her emotions and not to turn and slap her into the next planet.

"Oh, no greeting for me?" she continued.

"I don't make habits of conversing with my father's murderer" she hissed back.

"You are still harping on that?" Bella laughed. "Trust me. Your father wasn't that great"

Her temper reached new heights as Sarah reached in her pocket for her wand, but Voldemort command stilled her hand, almost instantly.

"That's enough, Sarah" The look he gave her was so severe that she dared not disobey and Voldemort pushed her in front of him.

She bit her lip and clenched her hands, but managed not to retaliate.

"Good girl" Voldemort praised as he reached to grab her arms and pull them behind her, restraining her. "Now tell me, child. What do you see?"

Sarah studied the building before her and then looked around to their surroundings. They were in a rundown portion of a town. There were few people milling about, but they didn't seem to notice them. Sarah realized that they were under a concealment charm. She continued to look at the three story building in front of them, straining her eyes to read the plaque on the door.

"It's an orphanage" she whispered, realization turning to horror at the prospect of Voldemort and Bellatrix unleashing on these children. She managed to wiggle out of his grasp to face him. "What are you going to do?"

"Oh yes" Bella slapped her hands together. "All those wee little children" Her laughter was menacing.

"You must learn Sarah, the art of submission" Voldemort's voice was low. "It is my job to teach you that. You must realize that I will stop at nothing to get what I want. Muggles are worthless. A few less children won't be any hardship"

"They are children" Sarah argued, her heart feeling like it was being torn apart with dread. "They are innocent. They don't deserve this"

"I decide who deserves what. I'm in charge. I will be in control. The sooner you realize that and submit to my wishes for you, the better off you will be"

"I can't be someone I'm not" Sarah retorted and Voldemort glared at her, "Neither can I. Go ahead Bella"

Bella waved her arm and soon the building was in flames. Sarah began to run towards the building, but Voldemort grabbed her arms and held her still. "You will watch what happens from here"

Sarah struggled but Voldemort continued to restrain her. "Don't fight me or I will make you regret it. Stay still now"

Fighting her emotions, Sarah managed to still herself in obedience. Soon children were filing out and the two adults there were counting the children, who were coughing, several with burns on their faces and arms.

"The babies" Another woman ran out of the building, two babies in her arms. "I could only get these two. The fire is spreading. It's so powerful. I have never seen anything like it. We are lucky we got out, but I couldn't reach Thomas. He's stuck on the third floor. He was too far and there were already flames in the way."

"We have to go back" The women were frantic. "We have to get him. He's only 6 months old! The other children are here. We got to go get him. Now!"

"A baby" Voldemort whispered in her ear, causing chills to go up her spine. "A muggle child is expendable in this war. Don't you know?"

"He could be a wizard" Sarah's voice was harsh. "Have you thought of that?"

"Muggle born wizard?" Bellatrix laughed. "Just as worthless as muggles"

"This is the cost of your disobedience. The life of a 6 month boy- pretty generous, I would say, right Bella?" Volemort said.

"Exceedingly so, my Lord" Bella responded, in reverence.

Sarah looked at the window on the third story in panic. Her instincts taking over, she felt a rush of adrenaline as she knew what she had to do. Visualizing it in her mind, she apparated up to the third floor. She was so surprised that she was able to do it with such ease and so quickly that Voldemort couldn't intervene.

The woman was right- the flames had encroached into the middle of the room. And it was unbearably hot, the smoke making her breath short instantly.

She screamed as she could feel the flames burn her as she quickly moved to the other side. Facing the fire, she grabbed her wand and attempted to put it out, but the magic Bella used must have been different- dark magic was hard to stop with ordinary charms. Thinking fast and aware of the rising temperatures, she coughed through the smoke as she heard the screams of the baby and it propelled her to action.

She found a sheet. Casting a quick charm she drenched it with water. She saw the baby in its crib against the wall. She felt the flames to her back, closing her in.

"Hi little guy" She picked him up and snuggled him against her. Coughs wracked her body, but she tried to reassure him. "It's going to be ok now. I promise you. I'm going to get both of us out of here" She wrapped him with the wet sheet and she could almost feel the flames upon her arms, burning them. Focusing, she tried to apparate back to the street, but to her horror, nothing happened.

"Bella must have put up anti apparition charms. The bitch" Sarah whispered to the baby, rocking him as she moved closer to the window. Her wand tightly in her hand, she cast a cushioning charm around the baby, protecting him from what was to come. Her wand back in her pocket, she focused her magical core, harnessing her wandless magic and in a sprint blast through the window, decreasing the impact of their fall with her magic, just as Dumbledore did for Harry third year with the Demeantors caused him to fall from his broom in the Quidditch match.

Still she landed hard, glass protruding into her burnt arms. Pain seared through her body.

"Sarah, Sarah" Voldemort knelt down next to her and took the child from her arms. "So incredibly foolish of you, child" He sent the baby flying towards one of the woman. "Bella, go obliviate everyone while I deal with her"

Bella huffed, but obeyed orders.

The pain was intense from the burns and the glass. She moaned as Voldemort turned her over to examine her wounds. She found it incredibly hard to breathe from the smoke inhalation and she tried helplessly to control her coughs.

"Severus should be able to heal you. It isn't as severe as it could have been- you are fortunate to be alive. When will you learn not to play the hero?" He chided. "I suppose it is my job to continue to try to teach you" He waved his wand over her and while she felt different, she didn't understand what he just did. He waved his wand again and she found it easier to breathe, though her chest still felt heavy.

"I stabilized the glass that is in her arms and legs. It will only be allowed to move a bit deeper, but not enough to do major damage. Enough to feel the pain of it moving, but not enough to hurt you more. I also cleared your lungs some so while you feel the effects of the smoke, you will be able to breathe easier for what is to come next"

Sarah wanted to beg him not to do whatever he was about to do, but her pride and knowing that it would have little effect on his behavior, stopped her.

He bent down to stroke hair. "I didn't want to have to curse you tonight, but it seems like you do need more of a lesson. A round of discipline seems in order for playing hero and disobeying my orders to stay still. But I bet after we are done, there will be no more disobedience. You have seen the results. These poor children. Their only home is gone. Did you know that there is a shortage of orphanages? They will end up on the street or in some horrible type of slavery that muggles put children in when they get mixed up in the wrong crowd. All because you decided that you were too good to learn your studies"

Sarah groaned as she braced herself for what was to come next. As Voldemort wielded his power, the pain was excruciating. He was holding nothing back and the feeling of the glass biting her deeper and her burned, exposed flesh hitting against the pavement was enough to wish that he had just cast the killing curse and had been done with it. She heard herself scream- ear piercing screams, but she knew that besides Voldemort and Bellatrix, no one could hear her.

It stopped after a few minutes, but that was long enough to leave her in pieces. Voldemort leaned down. "More?"

Sarah sobbed through the pain, but managed to pull herself together. She had to fight to take a breath and then another.

At her gasps, he leaned down and touched her chest with his palm. "Breathe through it. Your body and mind are adjusting to not only the physical pain of your wounds, but to the dark magic."

Sarah took another breath, closing her eyes, trying to close her mind off from the pain she was in and the realization of what was happening.

"Enough?" Voldemort asked her, his hand still on her chest.

"Yes, please no more. I understand. I'll try better. I will"

"That's the first step in you submitting to me. No more of this leading the rebellion or you will have more of this. Innocent lives will be lost because of you. But if you just do as I say and become who I want you to be, your life will be easy. I will shield you from all of this. Understood?"

"Yes" Sarah replied. And she did. In that moment, in her mind- her fight was over. Voldemort had won.

"Good girl. You have so much potential" Voldemort reached for her hand, which was twisting the hem of his robe. He gently untangled it. " I'm going to send you home now. Good reports from now on, Sarah"

He touched her ring. "Pureblood" and Sarah's world spun again. She heard Draco gasp in horror and Snape curse and summon his wand. She was home.

Up next: When Sarah loses her way, will Severus and Draco be able to guide her again without revealing his true allegiance? Or will she finally just submit to Voldemort's wishes and not fight with Harry? What do you all think?

Please review. :)


	27. Destiny

**Chapter 27: Destiny**

Snape rushed over to her, wand in hand. Sarah grunted and tried to sit up, but Snape's harsh command and gentle, but firm hand pushing her shoulder down, stilled her.

"You need to stay still, Black. Do not attempt to move yourself" Snape commanded, his eyes examining her wounds as he held her in place. "There is glass everywhere and the burns are pretty significant" He made a quick decision after his initial evaluation. "I'm going to levitate you to your room. You'll be more comfortable there and it is more sanitary than you lying on the floor. Draco, come with me, please. I'm going to need your help"

Sarah felt herself being magically carried to her room and hovered over the bed. It was quite a bizarre feeling, yet never once did she feel worried that she would be dropped in a heap on the floor. Snape's spells were strong and that strength assured her.

"Draco get the sheets and quilt off the bed" he ordered and Draco quickly obeyed, stripping the quilt and top sheet but leaving the bottom one in place. After he was done, Snape magically lowered her onto the bed. She was uncomfortable and the pain from her wounds and effects of the dark magic were almost unbearable, even with the initial charms Voldemort had put on her. She wish she would just pass out already, but unlike before, she didn't feel like she would. Voldemort must have healed her enough to not- how thoughtful.

Snape began to cast diagnostic charms, a deep frown on his face. "Your legs were spared because of the thickness of your fabric, but you have lesser burns on your upper body underneath your clothes that we will have to take care of as well as the ones on your arms."

He continued to speak quietly. "I need to remove the glass, but that will take some time even with magic. And it probably won't be pleasant for you. Then we can work on the burns"

At the thought of what was about to happened, she moaned and wiggled again, trying to push herself up as Snape summoned various potions from his store.

"Sarah" Snape scolded, but without any harshness. His hand returned to her shoulder, pushing her down and keeping her still. "Come now, I need you completely still to try to remove the pieces of glass from you without causing damage. You wiggling like that could cause the glass to slip further in and we haven't even started. Do I need to charm you still while I work?"

"I don't know!" Sarah cried, something in her snapping as she finally gave into panic. "There is all this glass and I'm all burned and I'm sorry, but I'm freaking out here. My chest feels so tight and the Dark Lord said my body is also reacting to the Dark magic from the fire and his curses, but..."

"Sarah" Snape's voice was soft and soothing and his hand moved from her shoulder to touch her forehead with his long fingers, rubbing it gently. "You must calm down. Take deep breaths and clear your mind"

"He's won. Don't you get it? I'm letting everyone down. I can't let people down but I can't go on like this and there is freaking glass in my arm, Snape. Get it out! Get it out now!"

"Sarah, I'm aware that there is glass in your arm and actually other parts of your body and I'll get those pieces out but if I can't trust you to stay still, we could do more damage. As for letting people down, we can discuss that later. You need to clear your mind and do so quickly"

"I can't" Sarah bit her lip. "I just can't"

"You can" Snape retorted, his thumb still rubbing her forehead. "You must try"

"I'm done trying" Sarah groaned. "There is glass everywhere. I jumped from a third story window with a baby in my arms and he said it was all my fault that he..."

"We'll talk about that later. You are wasting your strength on things that you can't change right now" Snape told her firmly, the tone reminiscent of the one he used often as her father. "You have to stop panicking. I'm afraid to give you dreamless sleep because I do want you conscious for as long as possible"

Sarah's voice broke. "I'm scared"

"You have every right to be" Snape told her. "But I'm here. And I'm going to heal you. I promise you that you are safe"

"For this moment maybe" Sarah retorted stubbornly, tears streaming.

"Then let us focus on this moment" Snape replied. "Close your eyes now and try to relax"

With his wand, he enlarged her bed. He placed a bubble charm over her right arm, keeping her wounds from being disturbed.

"Draco, why don't you lay next to her in bed? And try to get her to calm down" Snape instructed and Draco could see the worried look on his face, which caused him to be even more concerned than he already was. As if the injuries weren't disturbing in itself, Sarah's reaction worried both of them.

He climbed up on the bed and laid on his side facing her. Snuggling up against her body, he put his arm around the top of her head and with his other hand reached to stoke her face. "Sarah, just take a breath. I'm here right now" his voice was low and she allowed the warmth of his body to comfort her. She complied and he leaned down to kiss her forehead. "That's good, Black"

"Do you remember the first prank you ever played on me?" Draco asked, tenderly.

Sarah's mind wandered to first year and without thinking about what was about to happen, smiled at the memory. "I do"

Snape cleared his throat. "I've seemed to forget, Black. You have been quite the troublemaker in the past 6 years. What prank were you referring to?" He nodded at Draco as he continued to comfort her. To be honest, Snape remembered quite vividly Sarah's first potions class- as if he could ever forget that day.

"You don't remember?" Sarah chuckled. "It was in your class and boy, were you pissed off"

"Remind me then" Snape instructed. "What happened?"

Sarah began to recall the story with help from Draco as Snape started to magically remove the pieces of glass. Initially she winced and flinched, but Draco murmured comforting words and Snape encouraged her to continue with the story.

She finished with her story, but Snape wasn't done yet, so he asked casually, "you hated Draco alot back then. What changed?"

Sarah turned her head to look at Draco and he smiled at her. "I just learned how to be more charming, right Black?"

Sarah snorted, "Hardly, Malfoy" though she secretly thought that it wasn't too far off. Draco could be quite charming when he wanted to be.

"I guess it was when my mum died. You were so kind. It was a side of you I had never seen before. You were more than just a prat who liked to show everyone how much better you were than them."

"What happened?" Snape asked and Sarah continued her trip down memory lane, Snape attending to her wounds.

By the time she had finished with her story, Snape was done with glass removal.

"All the glass is out" Snape told her and Sarah sighed. "Thank Merlin. Just knowing it was there was enough for me to lose it"

"I know. You are doing well though" Snape replied. "Now on to your burns. Draco, let's help her sit up"

They gently eased her to a sitting position, careful not to have her lean against anything that would exasperate her wounds. He handed her several potions in a row, asking her to drink. Her lungs felt clearer and the burns lost their sting.

"I want to apply this salve several times a day" Snape told her. "You have quite a few burns underneath your shirt on your stomach and back. I want to lift your shirt to look at it and then apply the salve"

Sarah grimaced and Draco added lightly, "I do love you with your shirt off, Black. It's been a while"

Sarah chuckled in spite of the seriousness of the situation and even Snape wrinkled his nose at the thought. "Now, I remember _that_ story quite vividly."

"It was kind of mortifying" Sarah admitted. She lifted her arms and allowed Snape to pull her shirt up so it was hanging around her neck, providing some modesty, but exposing her stomach and back.

"For all of us" Snape added as he began to rub the salve into her burns. Sarah winced and inhaled sharply, shrinking from his touch. "It really stings. I thought it would soothe"

"Give it time. It's really severe" Snape replied. "It should sting initially but then feel better" He lifted his finger and waited and Sarah nodded.

"You really have to rub that all over my arms, stomach and back?" Sarah asked, wearily. "Couple times a day?"

Snape squeezed her knee. "You're doing well. Here hold out your hands and let me rub this on that first. It acts to not only heal, but protect it from outside germs, which means that Draco can hold your hand while I rub the rest in"

Sarah closed her eyes. "Ok, that's a good plan. It just really does sting at first"

Snape squeezed her knee again. "I do know"

Once the burn salve was applied to her hands, Sarah held Draco's hand and squeezed it through the initially stings, keeping her eyes closed.

Once he was done, Snape summoned pajamas and quickly helped her into the shirt. It happened so fast that Sarah didn't have time to feel embarrassed.

"You can change into the pants yourself. We'll give you a minute" Snape arranged the potion bottles by her bed and gestured to Draco.

"I can help you, Black" Draco offered and Snape rolled his eyes. "Nice try, Draco. Let's go" He allowed Draco to go in front of him and then shut the door gently behind him.

He gestured again to come further away from the door and they went back into the living room.

"Wiggles" Snape called. Wiggles appeared instantly.

"Sarah needs some tea" Snape instructed. "And can you go to her dorm and get some things that would make her more comfortable? Her toothbrush, her hairbrush, a couple change of clothes, maybe a few magazines...oh, and find Paddy for her. I have a sneaking suspicion that it is in the bottom of her trunk"

"It is" Wiggles replied. "I made sure she packed it with everything going on this year"

"Thank you" Snape dismissed her and turned to Draco. "You should go back to your dorm"

"Not going to happen" Draco replied, shrugging his shoulders. "You know that"

"Yes" Snape responded. "You should try to get some sleep though. I'll transfigure the couch for you"

"Uncle Sev?" Draco sat on the couch. "Do you think she will be okay? I have never seen her that way. What did he do to her?"

"I'm not sure" He replied. "But I will do everything in my power to make sure that she will be ok. You have my word. I will not fail her any longer"

* * *

Snape waited a few minutes before knocking on Sarah's door, a tea tray in his hands. At her allowance, he swept into the room, placing the tray on a nearby desk.

With considerable effort, Sarah pushed herself up to a sitting position again.

Noticing her grimace, Snape asked quietly, "how much pain are you in, Sarah?"

She struggled to get comfortable, but had no success. "I do feel better than I did when I came now that the glass is out and you put the burn lotion on. I'm assuming you gave me pain medication already and that's why I don't feel truly horrid. The rest I can live with. It just reminds me of what I have to do"

Snape studied her carefully. "I can give you something stronger to help with the pain" he offered, but Sarah shook her head.

"It's not too bad. What you gave me is sufficient. I'm just uncomfortable, I guess. Achy and raw" She looked at the door. "Where's Draco?"

"Gathering a few things from his dormitory. May I? " Snape gestured slightly towards the end of the bed.

"Sure"

Snape sat at the bottom edge of her bed. "He insisted on staying here tonight"

"That's sweet" Sarah responded, her eyes distant. "But he doesn't have to"

"He wants to" Snape continued to try to evaluate her thoughts and feelings, without the aid of legilimency. He could usually read her so well, but this was different. He wish he could just invade her mind and figure out what had happened and what she was thinking in regards to that. But, he wouldn't invade her privacy like that without her permission and even if she did give permission, she was too weak for him to do that right now.

He continued, "Could you attempt to drink some tea and eat a bit of toast?"

Sarah sighed. "If I must"

"Maintaining your strength" Snape conjured the tea to her and she took hold of the cup and saucer, "is important on many different levels. I know I am probably the last person you wish to talk to right now, but what did happen tonight?"

Sarah took a few sips of tea, which was really warm, smooth and overall tasted delightful, but ended up placing it next to the bottles of potions on her night stand, practically untouched. Snape frowned at this, but conjured the rest of the tea tray over to him. He picked up a piece of bread, lathered it generously with butter and strawberry jam like Sarah preferred and sent the plate over to her.

"Try eating. You need some food in your stomach. The potions I gave you were strong"

Sarah took a bite, before placing it next to her. "My punishment involved watching Bellatrix create a dark magic fire to destroy an orphanage. The kids got out even though some had bad burns, but there was a baby trapped on the third floor. The Dark Lord said that a muggle baby was expendable and it could be much worse, but I had to save him. I had to"

Snape poured a second cup of tea for himself and took a drink. "I understand you feeling that way. But how did you do that under the Dark Lord's watch? I don't imagine he would have readily permitted you going into that fire, especially if it was created with Dark Magic. Those children were lucky to get out alive as it was"

"I'm not sure" Sarah admitted. "It happened so quickly, I think he didn't expect me to be able to apparate into a fire with that much determination. But I couldn't just watch it happening, knowing a child was in there. I had to, no matter the consequences"

"Hum" Snape took another drink. "I can't say I'm particularly surprised by it and I doubt the Dark Lord was either. Then what happened?"

"I initially tried to put the fire out, but it didn't respond to ordinary charms- was that because of the..."

"Dark nature of the fire, yes" Snape replied. "I'm assuming Bellatrix used magic that would not be satiated until it left the whole building in ashes"

"It was extraordinarily hot. I couldn't breathe, but I managed to get the baby, wrapped him in a wet sheet and tried to apparate back to the street, but Bellatrix must of placed anti-apparition charms on the building. I think she wanted me to burn"

"She probably did" Snape frowned. "But the Dark Lord probably just wished to scare you further. I don't think he would have let you perish, though. So you jumped from the window?"

"I used a cushioning charm on the baby, used magic to blast through the window and to decrease our momentum, but it was enough for me to get bit with the glass on top of the burns I already had from the fire"

"And the child?" Snape inquired. "Is he alright?"

"As far as I know is fine" Sarah replied. "But the Dark Lord decided that I needed further punishment for my intervention. He didn't go on forever with it, but the curse in combination with the glass and burns- it was unbearable. And here we are" Sarah's lip quivered. "I just feel like it's all my fault. Those poor children without a home, but what can I do, Snape? It's either learn dark magic and curse my friends or watch as the Dark Lord takes out my punishment on these other children. Whatever my actions, someone will be hurt. I asked him to kill me, but he wouldn't"

Darkness passed over Snape's features at that announcement. "You will not give up, Sarah. That talk is not productive nor conducive to your survival"

"But..."

"Don't you understand what is happening here?" Snape asked, incredulously. "By now, you should know his agenda. The Dark Lord is playing on your emotions. He would have probably burned that orphanage anyway. The attacks on muggles are daily- swift and immediate with little warning. And it always comes with loss and destruction. He understands your weaknesses and he is exploiting it. It is not your fault that it happened. You need to stop with that line of thinking immediately"

"I know what you are telling me is probably true" Sarah admitted. "But any excuse to hurt muggles isn't ok for me. My actions shouldn't motivate him for retaliation. So" she took a deep breath. "I'm prepared to give him what he wants"

Snape felt like his heart skipped a beat. His eyes narrowed at her. "Meaning?" he growled in a low voice.

"He told me that he desires me to marry a pureblood and to enter this life he has planned for me. I'm done fighting it. I want you to ask him if I can marry Draco. Better one who I care about than someone truly horrid which he has threatened me with if I don't straighten up"

"Marry Draco?" Snape was at a loss. On one hand, he wanted to rail at her that she was being irrational and foolish to tie herself to a man at 17, especially when she was supposedly engaged to another. Then again, if Voldemort was to win the war, the alternative to Sarah would be horrific if she didn't attach herself to Malfoy now. Surely better Draco than- Snape shuddered- Nott, Avery, Wormtail...the last alternative especially made him want to gag. "But what about Weasley?"

"I know this makes me a horrid person, but I would so rather marry Draco than be forced into submission by any one of the Dark Lord's death eaters" Sarah shrugged. "I'm tainted anyway, Snape. Marrying Fred wouldn't work anymore"

"How are you tainted?" Snape asked, his hands folded on his laps. "You haven't performed Dark Magic. You do not have the Dark Lord's mark. What has tainted you?"

"It's a feeling I have" Sarah admitted. "Maybe the effects of the Dark Magic being used on me tonight. But when he was cursing me and stopped, I would have done _anything_ for him to make him pleased enough not to do that to me again...I would have given him my body, my soul- whatever it took."

"That's natural" Snape argued. "And it is what he wants"

"Yes. My point" Sarah replied. "He's going to stop at nothing to get it. Why not be proactive and give him what he wants? Then the game is over-"

"Then the game just begins" Snape corrected her. He watched her carefully for a few minutes, but when he was no closer to correctly reading the situation, he responded. "You're tired and in pain. It's been a distressing evening for you. Let's see how you feel in the morning" He walked over to her night stand. "Dreamless sleep for you tonight, Sarah."

He spooned it out and she took it without hesitation. "If you wake up in pain in the night, call for me. I have charmed the room so I can hear you"

Sarah nodded and Snape helped her settle back into her bed. "Why do you care if I submit to the Dark Lord or not? I thought that would be what you wanted as a Death Eater?"

Snape's mouth tightened, but he didn't respond, only flicked off the lights. "Go to sleep now. I'll talk further with you in the morning"

"I do love Draco" Sarah told him. "Even when I shouldn't, I have."

"I do know that" Snape assured her. "But marriage to him wouldn't be the way you would want it, even if you are in love. You and him would have to be prepared for the outside influences which would make your marriage extremely difficult, if not unworkable"

"I would be asking alot of him. I know marriage to me would not be easy" Sarah muttered as she drifted off into sleep.

"That wasn't what I meant." Snape sighed and smoothed the sheet over her, realizing she was asleep. He noticed the door was ajar. He exited the room, but kept the door open. He wasn't overly surprised to see Draco standing in the hallway.

"I'll do it" Draco looked determined and much older and wiser than his seventeen years. "I want to. I have always wanted to. She needs me."

Snape shushed him and gestured him into the living room. They both sat down, Snape choosing his arm chair and Draco the couch. "But you two don't understand. It wouldn't be what you wanted it to be. Bellatrix, your father, the Dark Lord himself would be controlling your marriage. The Dark Lord would make sure that you are controlling Sarah's" Snape paused and searched for the right words, "rebellious nature and you both would be drawn further into the lifestyle. It's already a tricky situation. Sarah doesn't submit well and there will be times that you would have to get the upper hand on her because that is what the Dark Lord expects. And this is not Sarah. We both know that. It's not you either"

"If we explained to her before what would be expected of her behavior" Draco suggested, "I think that she would understand the need to keep certain appearances, knowing that they were just appearances. I'm sure she would rail at me later for it, but we can both handle that"

"I would be here to help you" Snape replied, slowly, contemplating the situation. "But Sarah performing dark magic? Tolerating it when it is seen? You have trouble with it and you were raised in that situation"

"So, we spy like you do" Draco offered. "It would put Sarah in the perfect position to pass information on to Potter. Information that could help him defeat the Dark Lord once and for all"

"That is too dangerous for her!" Snape protested. "I will allow it"

"She is already in danger" Draco responded. "At least now, I can protect her better. I love her. She is so shattered now. I can help her with that"

"And what would happen if Potter does win?" Snape asked. "Would you really be happy married to Sarah for the rest of your life?"

"You know I would" Draco told him firmly. "I have wanted that. I knew that from when I was to young too even think of things like that"

Snape sighed, knowing that argument was at least valid. "Let me consider our options. Now, if you would excuse me. I have to have a conversation with a portrait"

* * *

Dumbledore listened intently as Snape recounted the story from tonight.

His eyes looked troubled under his glasses. "I never anticipated Sarah giving in to Tom's wishes. She always seemed more secure than that"

"Well, maybe if you had not encouraged me to shatter that security by denying the past 6 years, she would have been more secure to fight off his advances" Snape answered, darkly. "Do not mistake me. There is nothing dark in Sarah's intentions. It is purely survival for her as well as her desire to protect others. I think we could manipulate the situation so she could do this without taking the Dark mark. I think her being submissive and not aiding Potter would be enough to sway the Dark Lord that it would be worth it to consent to the match"

"I don't doubt that her motives aren't related to some hidden passion of the dark arts" Dumbledore answered, calmly. "Sarah has always been the furthest thing in my mind from a dark wizard. Which is why it is so surprising that Tom has taken such an interest in her. I suppose it is for the challenge. And she has grown up to be quite charming and lovely, but unassuming, which I think Tom must appreciate, along with her power and skill, which is obvious to us all."

"If she wasn't so young- and one day she will not be if this war continues" Snape shuddered at the implications. "Perhaps it is best to attach her to Draco now. The Dark Lord wouldn't take the wife of one of his followers for a lover, unless the husband willingly offers and I know that he realizes that Draco would not wish to share his wife."

"And Draco is willing to marry her?" Dumbledore asked.

"More than" Snape answered. "He adores her. You know that" Snape sighed. "I just did not want it to be this way. She is just shy of 17 years old. She should have all that life has to offer. This damn war has taken so much from us."

"You do know there is a possibility that with Sarah in such close proximity to Tom and the Malfoys, she could use the information for Harry-"

"Yes, yes" Snape growled. "But I never wanted her to live _my_ life. I did all of this so she could have better! She must have better! But now she is in the same position that I have been in for the past years. That miserable, horrible position, we will put her and Draco both in. No, I think she needs to join Potter now and take the traditional route to fighting this war"

"But if this is her destiny-" Dumbledore argued. "Surely, you remember the prophecy. She will marry into darkness, but fight for the light. Valuable aid to the chosen one..."

"Do not speak of it to me" Snape retorted, anger taking over. "You told me that she could choose her destiny. She could choose Weasley. She could have that happy, unblemished life"

"She can still have that-"

"It is highly unlikely" Snape interrupted. "It will be a struggle from the beginning with her and Draco married. There will be times that she will have to be the submissive wife and that is not a role I raised her for"

Albus couldn't help but smile, "You did raise her with a firm hand. She didn't get away with much"

Severus huffed, "She is my daughter and she was under age. It's different"

"You mean you won't still try to tell her what to do when she is 40?" Albus inquired, innocently.

Snape glared at him, but ignored the question. "Not to mention, what about their schooling?"

"They could still live here under your watch and attend classes. But perhaps it would be better for them to live with the Malfoys and that way Sarah would be spared from having to attend the classes with the Carrows-"

"So she could be individually tutored by Bellatrix or the Dark Lord himself?" Severus snorted. "I think not"

"You could offer to tutor them here. Tom would allow that from one of his most trusted followers"

"Perhaps, but what if they were to conceive, can you imagine the forces that child will be exposed to?"

"So, given all these considerations, Sarah must be the one to chose her own destiny. You are right. She must be given the choice" Dumbledore told him, softly. "But if she chooses to have this life, you must allow it"

Snape crossed his arms. "She will have the choice, but she will have all the facts before choosing. I'm telling her the truth- _all of it_. And I am sending her to talk to Potter. He has a right in this decision also"

"I trust you can find a way to do so under..."

"Of course. I'm not going to give away her position, before she is in it. Give me some credit. But she will learn soon the truth. I will not have her make this decision out of some stupid insecurity and fear"

"So be it" Dumbledore sighed. "If you are telling her the whole truth, you shouldn't omit the details of the prophecy. She has a right to know of that too"

"But I will tell her that we can choose our own paths, no matter what some prophecy may say" Snape argued back. "But I will tell her. The whole truth, including that..."

Dumbledore nodded. "I want you to know. I never did want this for Sarah. I care about the child too"

Snape grunted, but acknowledged the truth. "I will keep you apprised of the situation"

He swept out of the room, wanting with all of his being to take his daughter and run. But he knew that was impossible. So, now it was time to face the truth with her. He would do so when she felt stronger. She would need all her strength to face the days to come.

A/N: Again, so sometimes, you want to go in one direction and the story seems to just take a life of its own. So this is where I need feedback from my readers. What should Sarah chose? Do you want her to take the traditional route as Snape said & I had originally planned (of joining Harry, hunting horcruxes) or the not traditional route of marrying into the chaos and trying to gain information to pass onto Harry? Both have tons of story potential...And should Snape truly tell her the truth next chapter, or should I delay it longer? Let me know what you think!


	28. The Decision

A/N: This is _shamefully_ overdue. Oh my, I really feel embarrassed posting after almost two months. To be honest, I got stuck. _Majorly_. I wasn't sure where to head and I got alot of different reviews- there wasn't much of a consensus. So, I decided to just go with what I felt made the most sense for her (read the author's note at the end for my reasoning). And that plus personal life...I'm becoming hugely pregnant (7 more weeks to go) and still running after a toddler makes my free time consist of nap time...still, I hope you still are reading...because I do appreciate all the support and patience. But enough of that...let me know what you think if you get the chance! :)

**Chapter 28: The Decision**

It took Sarah a few days to recover enough to leave her room. Severus requested that she stay in his quarters, while he took care of his Headmaster duties. Sarah humored him, even though she was feeling up to being back in her dorm and going to classes. Well, going to some of her classes- she could stand to miss a few more of classes with the Carrows. Severus hadn't talked to her about the idea of Draco and her getting married and it put both of them on edge. Its presence was always there, making it quite uncomfortable. Draco and her had rather awkwardly discussed it a few times, but they were waiting for guidance from Snape, who was seemingly determined to remain quiet. Draco had pressed Snape privately, but Snape told him that he wouldn't even discuss what needed to be discussed with his niece until he determined she was recovered enough from her ordeal with the Dark Lord.

Finally, Snape broke his silence on the topic almost a week after Sarah had suggested it. It was her birthday and Snape hadn't said a word to her about that all day. Draco had come by after his classes and spent the rest of the afternoon as well as dinner with her, but Snape had stuck to his normal routine. Truth be told, it hurt Sarah's feelings more than a bit, but she supposed that she shouldn't expect anything less of the man who had lied to her for the past 6 years. Draco had left and they were sitting in Snape's study- Sarah sitting against against the arm of the couch reading and taking notes on her missed transfiguration chapters and Snape writing an article for a potions journal.

Finally, he groaned audibly and put aside his quill. Sarah's head snapped up, curiously.

"Is something the matter?" she asked, casually. "Are you stuck with your article?"

"No, it's not that" Snape sighed. "I just find that my mind is on other things"

"Me too" Sarah admitted, throwing her quill and notebook on the table and closing her book which was resting on her legs. She picked it up and hugged it tight against her.

"I do believe you have a birthday today" Snape said evenly.

"I didn't think you remembered" Sarah shrugged. "It's not a big deal"

Snape smoothed his pants legs before standing. "I happen to think it is quite a big deal. You are of age now"

Sarah couldn't control her grimace as she moved to sit up correctly on the couch. "Yes, so you don't have to put up with me anymore. I'm sure it is grand day for you"

Severus reached for his wand, which was lying on the table beside him. "Accio pensieve"

Sarah stilled and stared at him. "What are you doing?" her voice was low as the pensieve came from her room and landed on the coffee table in front of her. The last time Snape shared memories with her was one of the worst moments of her life. She wasn't sure she wanted to relive any of it.

Snape reached for a vial inside his desk drawer and walked over to sit beside her. "I'm doing what I should have done last Spring when all of this happened. I'm giving you the truth"

Snape poured his memories into the pensieve and Sarah's heart nearly stopped. "I don't understand. The truth?"

"Yes, Sarah Grace, the truth" Snape gestured to her. "I believe you know what to do"

Sarah stood up. "I'm not sure I should" her voice shook. "You told me the truth. You showed me your memories. What else would you have to show me?"

Snape wasn't particularly surprised by her reaction. He stood and walked over to wear she was standing. He reached for the book she was holding and tossed it onto the seat of his armchair. With a long finger, he lifted the bottom of her chin so she was looking at him. When he saw he had her attention, he dropped his hand to his side.

"I know you are frightened of what is in there" Snape strove to keep his tone calm, "but you need to know certain things. It is easier this way. The memories I showed you last Spring..." Snape paused, not sure what else to say. "Just see for yourself" he gestured to the pensieve.

Sarah bit her thumb nail absently as she stared at him and then the pensieve, trying to ascertain the situation. She couldn't imagine what Snape had to show her, but she knew that she had to go forward no matter how much she wanted to insist otherwise. Finally she took a deep breath. "Alright" She walked over and stuck her head into the pensieve and soon found herself wading through Snape's memories.

She saw her mum on her deathbed asking Snape to take guardianship of her. While Snape protested, she heard her mum speak of a prophecy- a prophecy about her.

_Marry into darkness? Fight for light? Downfall of many Death eaters? _She saw Snape visibly disturbed at the prospect of the Dark Lord learning of the prophecy. She could barely comprehend its implications before the memory switched and Snape and her mum were speaking again. It was the memory Snape had showed her last Spring, but there was none of the manipulation. Snape had simply agreed and told her that he wouldn't coddle her, which Sarah had to admit, he never really did coddle her these past 6 years- he was awfully strict.

Confused, the memory spun ahead to Snape and Dumbledore discussing Draco. Dumbledore was telling Snape that he had to be the one to kill him. Snape argued with Dumbledore, but the Headmaster kept insisting that he was dying anyway, him holding his withered hand to his chest. He told Snape this was a certain way of cementing Snape's position with the Dark Lord. Snape told Dumbledore that he wouldn't lie to her, but Dumbledore asserted it may be the only way to protect her. He kept insisting that when Snape did kill him, she must believe in his allegiance to the Dark Lord.

And then that night as Snape killed Dumbledore.

"Severus please" Dumbledore pleaded...

And Sarah was thrown out of the memories. She stood bent over panting, her hands upon her shaking knees. Severus sat on the couch, his eyes fixed on her. Sarah could barely put two words together for the whole of five minutes. "I...what...I...so..."

"Come and sit next to me" Severus patted the seat next to him. Sarah obeyed almost immediately. "Now, instead of babbling, take a few minutes to process the memories. And then we will discuss it like the adult you are now"

Sarah kept reliving the memories in her head, trying to make sense of it all. She was silent for many minutes, before turning to Severus.

She cleared her throat. "The memories you showed me that night..." Her voice trailed off, but after six years of guardianship, Severus could easily complete her thoughts.

"They were fabricated in the hopes of making it easier for you to believe that I had turned against Dumbledore. The Headmaster was afraid that you would still try to believe in my innocence unless I cut you off completely from myself. And we both desired, above all, to protect you"

Sarah licked her dry lips. "So, why are you showing this to me now?"

Snape's eyes stared into hers. "I'm truly concerned about what I am seeing from you. You need to know the truth- instead of making decisions out of fear or insecurity" He paused, trying to articulate his thoughts to help her understand, "I realized that you aren't any safer for the lies. And it was tearing my heart out each time I looked at you- I couldn't do it anymore, especially after what happened last with the Dark Lord"

She closed her eyes tightly and then opened them. "So...you still..." she didn't want to speak the words, afraid that they couldn't possibly be true. She couldn't bear to be rejected by Snape again, but Severus knew where she was headed and exactly what she needed to hear from him.

"For the last 6 years, you have been the most important person in my life, Sarah Grace. You are my daughter and I love you more than I ever dreamed possibly. I have truly been a shoddy father to ever agree to deceive you, I should have trusted you with the truth right off, but if you give me the chance..." He stopped when Sarah threw her head on his chest, leaning into him.

His hand instinctively lifted to smooth her hair down as he felt his shirt become wet from her tears. The tears turned to wracking sobs, but Severus knew she was crying out the anguish of the past few months. She had been through so much at the Carrow's hands, at his hands, at the Dark Lord's hands. And he was unable then to give her the comfort she needed as his father. He was determined to correct that now. He lifted her head and cradled it in his hands.

"I didn't think...I thought something was wrong with me" Sarah shook. "I thought I must be so horribly unloveable for you to make it all up"

"Quite the opposite" Severus assured her as he wiped her tears with his fingers.

"I should have known better. I should have questioned you more- had more doubts" Sarah gripped his shirt tightly. "I think Dumbledore left me to the pensieve to figure it out. Even Narcissa Malfoy told me I should use it to figure out the truth. The hints were there. I just didn't want to go there"

Severus squeezed her face. "You reacted in the way I wanted you to- the way any child would have reacted. You were too close to the situation to be objective and I was counting on that to continue to try to protect you. But I couldn't in the end."

"Why did you have to lie to me? Didn't you trust me to handle the truth?" Sarah shuddered. "It's just like mum. She lied to me too. You know how much that hurt me"

"I do" Severus responded. "And I am truly sorry. I allowed outside forces to convince me that this was the best way- against my own better judgement at times. But you must believe me- I did it with only your best interest in mind. I thought this would propel you to join Harry and not look back. I know how important your role is in supporting Harry. But I badly miscalculated your reaction to the Dark Lord's efforts to tame you"

"So all along you have been on our side?" Sarah asked, her eyes hopeful.

Severus nodded. "Indeed"

Sarah's demeanor turned troubled.

"But I said horrible things to you" Sarah hiccuped. "You're a hero and I..."

"I'm not a hero" Severus scoffed. "Do not make me out to be something I am not"

"But you are" Sarah insisted. "I was convinced her were evil like them, but you are not. You are fighting against it"

"But my reasons are for atonement, not some sort of righteous reason" Snape argued. "That makes me quite less than a hero"

"Atonement?" Sarah questioned. "What do you mean?"

"That is a story for another day" Snape murmured. "Just do not make me out to be something I'm not"

Sarah nodded and Snape moved to get more comfortable. Adjusting her, he moved her so she could rest her head comfortably on his shoulder while his arm was wrapped around her.

Sarah was quite for a while, still processing the information. Severus gave her a few minutes, then pressed forward. "What are you thinking?"

"I really did say truly horrid things to you when I thought you lied to me for the past 6 years. About my mom and Lily never loving you...I knew what would hurt you and I was really nasty when all along you were trying to protect me"

"I understood you said those things out of anger" Severus assured her.

"But I did things. Fred and I...in your bed..."

Severus cleared his throat. "That was quite naughty, Sarah Grace. And the way you threw it back in my face told me that you just did that to spite me, which is something I hoped I would have raised you better than to go further with a boy than you wanted for revenge. You are smarter than that." His voice had turned stern, but then it softened as he patted the side of her head. "But after all I did to you, I can't say I can hold it against you"

"I get that you had to act that harshly with me the other day" Sarah reached to rub his arm, comforting him as she might one of her friends.

Snape remained silent, but Sarah could tell that his actions would be with him for a long time.

"So, about the prophecy..."

Severus sighed. "That damn prophecy should have no bearing at all on your future. You need to join Harry and do so immediately"

Sarah squirmed out of his grasp and turned to face him on the couch. Putting her feet up, she sat criss-crossed on the couch, her hands on her knees. "I'm not so sure. I'm afraid of what the Dark Lord would do if I leave now. There would be consequences for you, for Draco, for innocent children. I saw what happens at the Dark Lord's hands. My actions can't be the cause of that"

"I told you when we are dealing with what happened with Umbridge" Severus gripped her knees firmly. "You are not to make decisions to protect me. That is not your responsibility- I'm your parent, not the other way around. Do you understand me?"

"And I told you" Sarah replied, hotly. "that when I became of age, which I am _now_, that if I can protect you, I will"

"Sarah Grace" Snape snapped, his tone warning.

"Yes?" Sarah snapped back.

"He's trying to trap you" Severus argued. "Use your head, Sarah. He doesn't want you to help Harry because he truly thinks that you could be an asset to him. But despite that, he has chosen this way- to tame you instead of killing you"

Sarah bit her lip. "Unless I could spy like you do. If I am living with the Malfoys, I will pick up on things. I can pass the information onto Harry"

Severus glare was tremendous. "Listen to me. That is too dangerous. I will not have you leading my life. I want better for you"

"And being on the run with Harry is better? Listen, we don't even know if he has made progress with the horcruxes. They need a fresh perspective- new information. I could potentially give that to them. If we get captured while on the run, the Dark Lord will kill me. You know that"

"And if he catches you passing on information to Harry, you are dead anyway" Severus shook his head swiftly. "I don't want this for you"

Sarah was quiet for a few minutes before responding softly, "Dad, it's not your choice"

Severus's heart lurched as he squeezed his eyes firmly shut. He reached and pulled her into a hug, gathering her tightly in his arms. He kissed her head before pulling away. "I want you to do something for me first. Talk to Harry. He can help you with this decision. He might be the only one who can give you an outside perspective"

"Ok" Sarah nodded. "Do I share with him what you shared with me tonight?"

"Discreetly" Severus warned. "But make sure he is practicing his occlumency. It would be deadly for both of us- especially if you begin spying for him not to put up his shields"

"Got it" Sarah titled her head. "You do know if I marry Draco, he will be good to me, right?"

"It's not Draco I'm worried about. It's marriage at the age of 17. You need to be older to know who you want to spend the rest of your life with. It's not a decision to be made out of fear the moment you turn of age and can. What about Fred?"

"I hate hurting him this way. But if this can help us win the war, then I have to do that. And I really am concerned of what would happen if I disappear now. And honestly, I feel like I have changed. I don't feel like I deserve to be married to Fred anymore"

"But you deserve Draco? That doesn't speak highly of your future husband"

"You know that's not what I mean" Sarah groaned. "Draco gets me. He's been through what I have been through. He understands. Whether we like it or not, my 'visits' with the Dark Lord, have affected me. I feel tainted. Draco feels the same way. And you should understand that"

"I do understand that" Severus retorted. "But that doesn't mean that you should never be happy again. And it's not really about Draco. I don't care if you marry him in the future- the distant future. It's you throwing away your future plans. It's Bellatrix, Lucius, countless Death Eaters who grace Malfoy Manor at anytime. It's the Dark Lord..."

"And if he wins, that will be my life anyway. But instead of Draco, I could be married off to someone far worse. Or I will be dead." Sarah shrugged.

"Then he must not win" Severus asserted, firmly. "On that note, you know how to get to Harry tonight?"

"Yes" Sarah answered slowly.

"Then, I have a gift that I want you to take to him for me" Severus walked over to the wall above his desk and murmured a few incantations. The wall opened and he pulled out an shiny object.

Sarah gasped as she jumped to her feet. "It's the sword of Gryffindor!" She walked over to wear Severus was standing looking at the sword, oddly.

"It still has basilisk venom on it" She commented as her mind worked through the situation.

"Indeed?" Severus said lightly. "I hadn't noticed"

Sarah began to smile.

"You know what to do with it?" he asked. "My sources say that Harry has acquired an object that needs tending to"

Sarah's smile widened brightly as she reached to grasp the sword, wielding it confidently as only a true Gryffindor could. "I think we can handle that"

Snape kissed her head. "Be careful. If you don't come back to me tonight, I will know what you decided"

"And if I do...?" Sarah asked.

"I will support you" Severus responded. "I will always support you. I love you, little girl"

Sarah reached to hug him. "And I love you very much. Thank you for telling me to truth, though part of me is still pissed at you for lying to me in the first place. I went through hell these past few months"

"I understand" Snape responded. "I know it will take some time"

Sarah nodded.

"You must be careful. Do not take unnecessary risks" Snape warned again, emphasizing each word. His role of protective father that he had to bottle up for the past few months was coming out in a fury.

"Don't worry"

"I will always worry about you" Severus told her. "But go on now. I left some things in your room that you might need if you decide to stay with Harry"

"Thanks" And Sarah went to her room to gather her things that she needed for her trip.

* * *

The reunion between Sarah and her friends was sweet. Harry was the first one to saw her, as he was on patrol. He had instantly drawn his wand when he saw a person had broke through the shields, but when he realized who it was, he pocketed his wand, yelled for Hermione and Ron and ran to her, embracing her in a giant hug. Hermione and Ron followed closely behind, each giving her their own hug. They ushered her into their tent.

Sarah dropped her huge duffel bag on the floor and took a seat on one of the camp beds. She rubbed sweaty palms on her jeans, suddenly nervous.

Harry sat across from her and the other two sat a bit away, but still could be a part of the conversation.

"How are things going?" Sarah asked, taking in her surroundings.

Harry turned to look at the other two and Ron shrugged. He turned back towards her. "I'd rather talk about you right now. How are things out there? We haven't been able to hear much, besides what Ron told us when he returned last night"

"Returned?" Sarah asked, curiously. "From where?"

"Long story" Ron muttered.

Sarah bit her lip. "Things are" she paused, trying to figure out the right words, "horrendous" She fought the tears coming up at the memory of the past few months.

The three exchanged worried looks, silence engulfing the room for several moments, until Hermione gently prodded, "What happened when we left you?"

Sarah looked down at her hands and sighed. "The Dark Lord...well, I was taken to him and questioned"

Harry's sharp inhale of breath made Sarah look up into his eyes. She saw the guilt there that she expected. "No, it's not your fault, Harry. We expected that I would be. We weren't quick enough to apparate and the Death Eaters took the rest of us in for questioning"

"So the Death Eaters questioned you?" Ron asked.

"Nooo" Sarah answered slowly. "He did"

"You know who?" Hermione looked confused. "But doesn't he usually allow..." her voice trailed off and Sarah tugged at the ends of her hair, agitated.

"The Dark Lord...he has taken...well, a" Sarah glanced at Harry again, who was staring at her, "a special interest in me. Apparently, my association with Harry, my blood status as a Prince and Black, the skill he thinks he sees in me has caused him to want to...subdue me"

"Meaning?" Harry cleared his throat. "Tell me what he has done to you"

Sarah fought tears again. "This is so hard. There is so much to tell and I just don't know where to begin" Sarah reached down and ruffled through her duffel.

She pulled out her shrunken pensieve and enlarged it with her wand. Taking her wand, she extracted the memories she wanted to share- everything that had happened to her since they left her. Dumping them in the pensieve, she gestured to Harry, Hermione and Ron. "Go on. You need to know everything. This is the easiest way"

Hermione and Ron stood up and made their way closer. Harry rose as well. Sarah reached to grab his arm. "Wait. Harry, please don't judge me. I don't want you to think I am horrible. Things were so much more difficult than I thought they would be and I don't want you to be disappointed in me"

Harry gave her a horrified look, trying to wrap his mind around what he could be seeing, his mind going to terrifying places, but upon seeing her distress, his features softened. "Of course, not, Paddy"

Sarah sat back on the bed as they waded through her memories, her heart pounding. She only hoped he could understand the hard decision she was having to make. When they finally reappeared, Hermione and Ron sat down on the bed across from her, but Harry sat down next to her.

He pulled her towards him, his arm around her shoulders and his other hand threaded through hers. "I'm so sorry, Sarah. We knew things were bad, but we had no idea that you would bear so much for us"

Sarah dropped her head on his chest. "Don't hate me for considering it"

Harry squeezed her hand . "Of course not. I understand how there are so many people you want to protect. It makes sense. Your absence now would cause retaliation. He has made that clear even if it is a bluff to frighten you until doing his will"

"But what happened with the orphanage. He had no qualms about letting that little one die or destroying the lives of so many others" Sarah argued. "I can't think he is bluffing"

"Those poor orphans" Hermione shuddered. "And yet, somehow I think that was tame for him"

"Things are just so dark all the time" Sarah told them. "Hogwarts is grim and oppressive. And it feels like there is nowhere to turn. Nothing to make it better. The Carrows are heavy handed. I've lead the resistance the best I could, but as you can see I failed at that"

"You didn't fail" Hermione pointed out. "You are just in an impossible situation. I don't think we could have done any better if we were there with you. And the fact you got caught and Snape's punishment and then the Dark Lord...I mean, we would all be hesitant to do more"

Ron cleared his throat. "You showed us those memories about Snape. You sure those are true and not part of the lie?"

Sarah nodded. "I am. It makes complete sense to me. When I think of how much of a father he has been to me since he took guardianship- that's the real Snape. I am sorry I didn't fight more to believe in that Snape. But, we have to be discreet though. Guard your minds. If the Dark Lord ever found out..." she shuddered. "And knowing that my absence would cause retaliation for Snape who has been my father all along. Really I am still pissed at him, but I love him and I can't do anything that could possibly hurt him. It will kill me to lose him again. If the Dark Lord kills him, I just...Merlin.." she rubbed her eyes.

"What does he say about all of this?" Harry asks.

"He thinks I should remain with you. He doesn't want the same life for me that he has. And if you tell me that you are making progress here and that we have the information we need to finish this thing, then maybe he is right" Sarah looked at them hopefully. "Can you?"

Harry frowned and looked at the other two. "Actually, we have kind of been at a loss. We did find the real locket"

"Well, that's progress!" Sarah smiled, trying to stay positive, when she was really disheartened by the part of his answer. "You found out who RAB was?"

Sarah found it slightly disconcerting the looks Harry kept exchanging with the others. "It was Sirius's brother, Regulus Black- your uncle" Harry told her. "He took the locket and created the fake one and tasked Kreacher with hiding it- only Mundageous Fletcher stole it first"

"We broke into the ministry- Umbridge had it" Ron told her.

Sarah shuddered at the mention of Umbridge's name. She hadn't forgot her continuous torture of her and Harry fifth year.

"So, Regulus was a spy?" Sarah asked, curiously.

Hermione shrugged. "Not sure. We know he defected and was fighting to destroy the horcrux"

Sarah looked at her hands. "I wish Dad could have known that" She frowned. "Maybe it is my destiny to fight this way against the Dark Lord. Both my uncles did...the prophecy could be right"

"Or you could choose your own way" Harry reached for her hand. "Nobody is forcing you to do this"

"But do you have any idea what the other horcruxes are?" Sarah asked. "Where they are hidden?"

Hermione slowly shook her head. "But we could still figure it out"

"How?" Sarah grew agitated. "You need more information. Information I could give you if I am proximity of the Malfoys"

"But to marry Malfoy?" Ron asked. "To be forced to cozy it up at Malfoy Manor? To shag..."

"Ron" Hermione hissed. "Easy"

"What about her future? My brother?" Ron retorted. "This is insane that we are even talking about this"

Sarah licked her dry lips. "I love your brother, Ron, I do. But he deserves better than me. I've seen and experienced this darkness and I can't help but feel like I'm not good enough anymore"

"You know that is not true" Harry squeezed her hand.

"But regardless, can you deny that you need more information?" Sarah asked, quietly.

"You says that you being at Malfoy Manor with Draco will give you that information?" Harry retorted. "Then it would all be for nothing"

"It may not" Sarah frowned. "But at the same time, it protects people if the Dark Lord would act upon his threat to retaliate"

"And if something happens that you feel you are the cause of..." Hermione's voice trailed off, full of understanding.

"I won't forgive myself" Sarah replied.

"So, you marry Malfoy?" Ron asked.

"So, I do" she bit her lip.

"And my brother?" Ron pressed.

"Do you know where he is hiding?" Sarak asked. "I need to talk to him"

"As far as I know he is still in the flat above their shop" Ron replied. "The Death Eaters have left them alone to the amazement of us all"

Sarah took a breath, dreading that conversation with Fred. "Now about that necklace. Snape sent you a present to help you deal with the locket" She pulled out the sword from her duffel. "Who would like to do the honors?" she grinned at them. " We are all Gryffindors. Don't be shy"

After destroying the horcrux, Harry lead her outside, the others giving them time alone to say goodbye. "So we have the two way mirrors to communicate. You will charm yours so it is undetectable?"

"Yes" Sarah patted her bag. "And you have the supplies I gave you. Hopefully the food will last you a while"

Harry nodded. "And if you have any inkling that you know who has learned of your game, you will apparate immediately or use the portkey that either Snape or myself gave you?"

"Of course" Sarah assured him. "I think that is the only way that Snape and Draco will go along with it"

"And...if Draco doesn't treat you right..." Harry gripped her arms. "If he mistreats you in _any_ way...:"

"You really think that Draco would abuse me?" Sarah asked.

Harry looked at her intently. "No, not unless someone forces him to and even then, I think he would have to be under the imperious curse for him to agree to. But still...are you sure you are ready to do this?"

"No, but I have to be" Sarah leaned forward to rest her head on Harry's chest and Harry, startled drew her into a hug.

"Take care of yourself" Harry squeezed her. "I love you"

"I love you too"

"Happy birthday, by the way"

Sarah smiled as she pulled away. "Thanks. I guess I'll see you soon"

Harry nodded confidently. "Sure. We got this"

But they both knew that Harry was being overly confident for her benefit- to build her confidence. Besides their success tonight, they weren't any closer than bringing down Voldemort than before. And given Sarah's objective and Harry's fugitive status, both of them knew that it could very well be the last time they saw each other.

A/N2: Ok, so the story direction. Here are my thoughts...I absolutely think it is better for Sarah to stay with Harry instead of marry at 17. Who wouldn't? But what choice would she make? And I think it comes down to this: she is scared of Voldemort. She is afraid if she runs away that Voldemort would retaliate and her real fear is that Snape (as Headmaster and her guardian) would bear the brunt of losing her. She just found out that Snape is still her Dad and she can't leave him and lose him again. Coupled with at this point in the story, the trio are kind of at a loss...I think it just fits her character to take this jump with Draco. But that is my thoughts...hope that doesn't disappoint too many!


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